No Matter What
by EM79
Summary: Jo Sam friendship. A story revolving around Jo's fight against illness and a tough case that impacts on the lives of many. Adult themes involved. Femslash Jo/OFC, possible Sam/?
1. Chapter 1

"You still on for dinner on Sunday?" Jo asked Sam as the diminutive blonde leant against the DC's untidy desk

"You think I'd miss it for the world? I've heard so much about Lucy over the last two months that I'm dying to meet her!" Sam assured her friend and colleague, knowing how much courage it had taken Jo to approach the subject of introducing her best friend to her new lover.

"Promise me you'll be gentle with her?" A mask of concern settled on the buxom brunette's face, knowing how protective Sam could be.

"If she's as wonderful as you make her sound, I'm sure we will get on like a house on fire. But if it makes you feel better, I promise I won't read her the riot act or warn her what I will do to her, in great detail, if she ever hurts you! At least not for the first hour or so." Sam grinned to take the edge off her words. In truth, she had been surprised when Jo suggested the dinner, knowing she had seen off a few potential admirers who she didn't think were worthy of Jo's affections.

"Sam…" Jo's voice was low, a warning tone sounding before her statement was ended abruptly by the arrival of Jack Meadows.

"DC Masters, can I borrow DI Nixon for a moment?" Meadows asked rhetorically, already steering the slim blonde away towards her office.

"Would you relax babe, you're making me nervous!" Lucy watched Jo check the road outside her modest terraced house for the umpteenth time. "She'll be here, it's not even 7.30 yet." The raven-haired beauty paused, assessing her lover's state of mind before continuing, "she really means a lot to you, doesn't she? Was there ever anything more between you two?" Jo stopped her frantic pacing, the words penetrating the fearful fog cocooning her mind.

"What? Me and Sam? No! You'll see when you meet her, she's as straight as they come. But she is the best platonic friend I have here in Sun Hill, she's been really good to me since I got back from Nottingham, helped me get over what happened to Seth…" Jo's mind drifted back to the nights she had turned up on Sam's doorstep at all hours, needing someone to talk her guilt through with and needing to feel something, anything. If she were honest with herself, she had developed a strong crush on the older woman during those dark days but she soon realised that it was a reaction to her situation and there would never be any future in such feelings. Lucy watched the emotions play out across her partner's expressive features, approaching her and sliding olive-skinned arms around her waist. She felt Jo's own arms mirror hers, pulling her in close as she rested a cheek on the top of Lucy's unruly mass of dark hair. "Tonight, I'm going to introduce the two most important women in my life to each other and it scares the hell out of me that I might have to choose between you."

Raising her head from where it had been happily resting against Jo's chest, Lucy looked the taller woman in the eyes, her sincerity evident. "Sweetheart, I can't speak for Sam but I can honestly say I would never willingly make you choose between me and any of your friends. I love you, every part of you, just as you are. Take away your job, your friends, any aspect of your life and it would mean losing part of you. I couldn't do that to you." The besotted brunette gazed down at the beautiful woman held within the circle of her arms, wondering how she had come to be so lucky to have such a gorgeous young lady in her life. At the proclamation, words failed Jo. She displayed her appreciation in the only way her body would allow her to, dipping her head and capturing the coral lips before her. They remained entwined in each other's arms, slowly and tenderly affirming their love until the doorbell broke into their idyllic space. Jo's stomach tumbled as she released Lucy, her nerves returning ten-fold knowing there was no going back from this moment.

She opened the door, a blast of icy winter's night air greeting her along with the vision of an angel. "You look beautiful Sam, come on in out of the cold." Jo took Sam's coat, hanging it in the closet under the stairs before wrapping her up in a warm hug.

"Thank you. You look lovely too, Jo." Sam had been to Jo's house many times over the months since her return from Nottingham, many an evening when their schedules matched being spent watching movies over good wine and all manner of treats.

"Come through, I'll make introductions and then get you a drink. Red wine ok?" Sam nodded her approval, handing Jo the bottle she had brought with her for them all to enjoy. Jo placed a hand at the small of her friend's back as she ushered her through into the lounge, hands shaking with her nervousness. Lucy had been checking her reflection in the large mirror over the fireplace and turned as the two women entered the room. Her breath caught at the sight of what a striking couple they made but the smile that Jo flashed her way melted any misgivings she had. Crossing to her side, Jo slid one arm around her girlfriend's slender waist, cradling the smaller woman to her affectionately. "Sam, this is Lucia Sorella. Luce, this is the infamous Sam Nixon who I'm sure I've bored you to death talking about!" The women both smiled brightly extending their hands to one another, Sam's pale alabaster skin a stark contrast to the rich honeyed tone of Lucy's Italian-heritage colouring.

"It's so nice to finally be able to meet you Lucia, I've heard plenty about you from Jo." Jo blushed as Sam greeted her partner warmly.

"Please call me Lucy, Lucia makes me sound like some mafia boss's daughter! And likewise, it's good to finally be able to put a face to the name. Jo is forever coming home with tales of how you have righted wrongs at work." Lucy gestured for Sam to take a seat on the sofa, flopping down next to her eager to get the low-down on what Jo was really like outside of the house.

"And I've no doubt completely playing down her own role in our work." Sam supplied feeling surprisingly at ease with the young woman immediately. Hope sparked in her chest that maybe, just maybe, Jo had finally found someone who could offer her the love and security she was in need of.

"Oh I can see this was a mistake already, you're going to gang up on me aren't you?!" Jo groaned from the doorway as she retreated to fetch drinks for all of them. Sam and Lucy both laughed heartily.

"Only when you deserve it love." Lucy called after her retreating form, casually admiring the gently sway of her shapely behind, still stunned to find someone like Jo giving her a second glance.

"So what is it that you do, Lucy?" Sam fished, wanting to get to know the young beauty before she formed any firm opinion of her.

"Nothing nearly as exciting as you guys. I work in administration at a web-based travel company; organise bookings, update the website, send out mailers that sort of thing. It's tedious at times but it pays the bills and I do get a fantastic discount on holidays!" Lucy flashed Sam a brilliant smile which lit up her entire face transforming her from attractive to outstandingly beautiful in an instant.

"I know where to come when my feet start itching and I'm feeling the need to get away then!" Sam stated, accepting the glass of wine Jo held out for her. She made to rise from the sofa to allow Jo to sit next to her lover but was stilled by a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Stay there, Sam. I'm fine on the chair. I'll be in and out for a while checking on dinner." Jo had cooked for Sam on a few times but tended to save it for special occasions, much to Sam's chagrin. Her stomach growled in anticipation of the wonderful fodder it would be presented with, making all three women break into laughter.

"Sounds like it's a good job you did plenty!" Lucy gently teased, knowing from Jo that Sam had a good sense of humour and hoping that she wasn't pushing it too soon.

"With this one around, there's no such thing as plenty! You wouldn't know it to look at her, but she eats like a horse!" Jo rejoined, winking at her friend and colleague.

"Now who's ganging up on who?" Sam playfully pouted, an expression which Lucy thought was one of the most adorable things she'd ever seen.

"So Sam, Jo tells me that you recently got promoted, congratulations. From what she's told me, it's a real honour but one that's been a long time coming." Lucy was genuinely interested to find out more about this woman who held such a firm place in her lover's heart, knowing from the ease with which they conversed that there was nothing more than friendly affection between the two women.

"Well, it's been a few months now and I'm only sharing the role with someone else but it's been good so far – tough but rewarding." Sam sipped her wine, careful not to drink too much on her very empty stomach.

"You're too damn modest for your own good Sam. You know Neil's heart isn't in it anymore and you're carrying the vast majority of his caseload as well as your own. You're doing a damn remarkable job and you have a lot more respect than he does with the team. Hell, Kezia nearly falls over herself to impress you!" Jo took a healthy swig of her own wine as she settled into a debate she and Sam had had on numerous occasions before.

"Kezia is still young, still learning and still has the rose-coloured glasses on. Until she's a fully fledged DC she has to be keen to impress." Sam dismissed Jo's praise, as she always did, still feeling a little as though she was feeling her way in the new role and that it would only be a matter of time before the powers that be snatched it away from her again as they had in the past.

"From what Jo's told me, it sounds like you're doing a fabulous job. She doesn't share details with me, obviously – quite frankly I wouldn't want her to, I don't have the nerve that you must have to deal with the things you have to deal with daily – but we do talk in general terms about her day. I have every admiration for you both, for all of you who put yourselves on the line to keep us mortals safe. Like I said, I couldn't do it." Lucy chimed in, smiling gently at Jo.

"Come back to bed babe, it's far too early to be up and about yet." Lucy stretched lazily as she watched Jo pad barefoot across the bedroom, clad only in a large T-shirt which barely skimmed her hips.

"I'll be right back, just need to answer a call of nature first." Jo grinned over her shoulder, still feeling like the cat who got the cream every time she woke up to Lucy in her bed. She added an extra sway to her hips as she felt eyes boring into her behind as she left the bedroom.

Lucy sighed as she let her eyes drift shut again, feeling her body begin to anticipate Jo's return and loving the fact that her lover could turn her on without even touching her. She mentally conjured up an image of the brunette's generous curves; the gentle swell of her pert buttocks giving way to a cinched waist before her breasts blossomed magnificently. One hand drifted lazily to her own breast, teasing the nipple to tautness as she fantasised about the woman she had grown to adore.

"I hope that's me on your mind while you're wearing that obscene smirk!" Jo smiled as she disposed of the T-shirt and launched herself onto the bed beside her lover, removing the teasing hand and locking her lips around the rock-hard bud. She heard the olive-skinned woman beneath her groan, a hand fisting in her hair at the oral assault.

"Only you sweetheart, it's only ever you on my mind these days!" Lucy panted, hips beginning to slowly undulate of their own accord under Jo's expert ministrations. Her hands began to wander across the smooth plains of Jo's muscular back, sliding down to her hips before gently moving to caress the sides of her ample bosoms. Jo aimed to shift her attention south, moving out of range of Lucy's wandering hands but not before Lucy's fingers danced over something which made her stop writhing. All thoughts of lovemaking went out of the window as the memory of what she had just felt lingered on her fingertips.

Sensing her withdrawal, Jo looked up concerned. "What is it love? You've gone white, are you not feeling well? Did I hurt you?" Jo was scared by how shocked and pale her lover had turned. Lucy felt a cold sweat break out on her upper lip as she tried to find a way to voice her concerns. "Luce, honey, what is it? You're scaring me, are you ok?" Jo hovered over the petite woman, braced on arms either side of Lucy's head, pendulous breasts swinging gently before her eyes. Lucy felt her focus zoom in on them, unable to tear her gaze away as she slowly, tentatively brought one hand up to cup the area she had been caressing scant moments ago. Jo followed the line of her vision, watching the hand shakily make its approach. Timid fingers brushed over the edge of Jo's left breast, gently probing and searching the fleshy mound. The hand froze as it unearthed the spot it had been searching for where, just beneath the surface, a hard, irregular lump lay cocooned. Jo replaced her lover's fingers with her own, the colour draining swiftly from her face as she felt the alien growth.

"Jo…" Lucy started to speak, her voice strangled as she fought to tamp down her fears. She found herself speaking to Jo's back as she raced back towards the bathroom, making it just in time before losing the contents of her stomach. The young raven-haired beauty knew she should go to her partner, to help console the wonderful woman she had lost her heart to, but her body refused to comply. She felt as though she were bound to the bed by invisible bonds, silent tears coursing down her cheeks as worst case scenarios leapt unbidden into her mind.

Jo sat back on the bathroom floor, leaning against the side of the bath for support as the world reeled around her, stomach empty but still churning. Her fingers drifted back to the side of her breast, to the small lump which had changed the shape of the day from one filled with promise to one filled with dread. Her mind tried to be logical about it, telling her that there was every chance of it being benign, just a fatty cyst that was nothing to worry about but her heart was screaming at her that there was a very good chance it was not, that it could be something significantly more sinister, especially given her family's history. Her maternal grandmother, her own mother and her mother's sister had all succumbed to breast cancer. Her mother and grandmother had both discovered their tumours within twelve months of one another, both battled through the operations and treatments together and seeming to win the fight…until it returned, stronger and more invasive than before as though mocking them for believing they could cheat death. Heedless of the cold seeping into her veins, Jo sobbed on the bathroom floor, wrapping her arms around her knees as she drew them up to her chest.

Lucy knocked tentatively on the bathroom door having finally roused herself to dress and go to Jo's aid, putting aside her own fears and worries. Jo had been in there for over half an hour and she was starting to become concerned. Relief flooded through her as she heard the door being unlocked. That relief turned to despair as she saw Jo's broken-hearted form, toes and fingernails turning an alarming shade of purple from being exposed to the cool morning air. "Come on sweetheart, let's get you up from there." Lucy made to snake an arm around the taller woman's waist but felt her recoil. Fearful that she had hurt her, the young lover stepped back.

"Don't touch me. I think it's best if you just go." Jo's voice was flat, no emotion apparent in the monotonous tone.

"No!" Lucy's voice was louder than she expected it to be, making them both start. "Don't push me away, Jo." Her words were pleading, intended to reach out to her lover's heart, to make her realise that she was not alone in whatever might lie ahead. "Don't punish me, please." The statement was much softer than the previous ones, the hurt and rejection evident in the strained notes and pained expression Lucy wore.

"I can't handle this right now Lucy, I'm sorry. I just need some time and space." Jo hauled herself up from the floor, muscles screaming in agony from having been cramped up on the cold linoleum. She walked stiffly past her young lover as though in a trance, not really connecting with the world around her.

Lucy was torn between wanting to go after her, realising that she was in shock, and wanting to respect Jo's wishes to be given chance to sort her head out before having to deal with anyone else. Leaning around the doorjamb, looking into the bedroom to where Jo sat on the end of the bed, unmoving, Lucy told her, "I still love you and want to be with you, no matter what. When you're ready, I'll be here for you. Call me, please sweetheart." Her voice cracking as she spoke, her heart breaking in two at the thought of walking away. As she closed the front door behind her, she made no attempt to halt the sudden rush of tears which streaked across her cheeks. She truly felt like she had lost the best thing in her life, fearing that Jo would be too proud to accept help from anyone and would retreat inside herself. Walking towards her car, she could only hope that she was wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello? Earth to Jo? Come in Jo?" The normally bubbly brunette became dimly aware of someone calling her name. With a gargantuan effort, she returned her focus to the present; to the cramped car in which she and TDC Kezia Walker sat waiting for the latest village creep to show up at his dealer's house so they could nick him on theft charges. "You ok? You're awfully quiet today." Kezia was used to Jo being as large as life, always having a wisecrack ready seemingly for any situation. Being the cunning sleuth she prided herself on being, Kezia deduced that Jo was depressed over something. "What is it, man trouble?" Jo barely heard the young trainee's babble as she fought to remain alert and focused on the investigation, not willing to be caught navel-gazing again.

"It's nothing I can't handle," she muttered dismissively, her tone brooking no argument or further enquiry. Thankfully, Kezia took the hint, returning her attention to the roads and paths outside, keenly attempting to spy their fugitive before Jo, hoping to impress the older detective. Jo for her part was staring out of the window but seeing nothing of the world right outside. Her treacherous mind kept replaying the scene between herself and Lucy that morning, the stricken look on her lover's face as she walked out of the bedroom etched into Jo's psyche.

"That's him, Jo, that's him!!!" Kezia screeched with excitement, flinging her car door open and tearing off after the suspect. Jo was behind her in an instant, thankful to feel the blood pounding through her veins as her boots clipped along the footpath at a fair lick. Seeing the two women bearing down on him, the petty thief took off running himself. Jo turned all her inner turmoil inwards using it as fuel to pump her legs faster and stronger, gaining on her prey before he had chance to turn the corner. She flung herself at him, grappling with flailing arms and legs as she sought to control him.

"Stop struggling! Peter Edwards, I am arresting you on suspicion of theft. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention something when questioned that you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence." Jo completed her arrest of the suspect, practically sitting on him to prevent him from wriggling out from her grasp. As she moved to haul him to his feet with eventual help from Kezia, the determined criminal lashed out one last time with a booted foot, catching Jo squarely in the stomach and winding her in the process. 'Can today get any bloody better?' she thought to herself as she steadfastly refused to let her charge go, slowly feeling her lungs re-inflate. Between them, the two women managed to manoeuvre Edwards to the car, bundling him into the backseat.

"You ok Jo? Want me to drive?" Jo's only answer was to toss the keys to her colleague, still struggling to regain her breath after the fierce battle. "You'd better get checked out by the ME when we get back to the station. And we can add assaulting a police officer to his list of charges." Kezia blathered on heedless of Jo's silence.

"Jo, I just heard what happened. Have you been checked over by the ME?" Sam appeared at Jo's side as she made her way back into the squad room.

"I'm fine Sam, please don't make a fuss. It's not the first time I've been clobbered by an arrest and I'm damn sure it won't be the last." Jo knew that of all people in the station, Sam could and would be her undoing if she lingered around her too long. The brunette felt like Sam knew her too well and would spot the signs of distress which had nothing to do with the case, and knowing Sam as she did, nothing would stop her from getting to the bottom of the cause of that distress. She settled herself gingerly into her chair, bracing herself as a wave of pain and nausea washed over her from her bottom rib which had borne the brunt of Edwards powerful kick.

"Jo, go get yourself checked over by the ME and then go home, take the rest of the shift off." As she saw her friend about to voice her objections, Sam cut her off at the pass, "that's an order DC Masters." Jo's shoulder's slumped in defeat, an action she immediately regretted as it triggered another painful spasm. "Use the afternoon to get that x-rayed and to get some sleep, you look exhausted." Lowering her voice to a more intimate tone only designed for herself and Jo to hear, Sam winked and said, "you'll have to ask Lucy to go easy on you tonight!" Jo blushed and smiled but it failed to reach her eyes, a fact which did not go unnoticed by the eagle-eyed blonde. She considered asking if all was still well between herself and the gorgeous young woman she had met the previous night but thought better of it, sensing a reluctance in Jo to talk and knowing that she would approach her when she was ready to discuss what was on her mind. "You going to be ok getting home or do you want me to drop you off?" Jo shook her head, fearful of spending any longer around Sam than was necessary, it taking all her self-restraint not to break down and tell Sam what had transpired that morning. But she wasn't ready to share it, not yet, not with anyone, not even Sam. She wanted to know what she was dealing with, what she was up against, to have some answers before she talked about it. Silently and with head bowed, Jo made her way out of Sun Hill.

Jo eased herself into the shower cubicle, the hot water doing little to thaw the chill deep within her soul but serving to ease some of the aches and pains she was carrying from the morning's grapple with the notorious Mr Edwards. She had heeded Sam's advice and had an x-ray at the hospital. A brusque young doctor informed her that she had fractured two ribs and must rest as much as possible. With a prescription for pain relief in hand, Jo had made her way back home, knowing she ought to have mentioned the morning's discovery but not wanting to appear to be over-reacting by announcing it in an Accident and Emergency department. Besides which, the doctor looked harried enough as it was, Jo didn't feel right putting on him any more than she already had. Not to mention, not being comfortable with the idea of him examining her. She vowed that she would contact her own G.P.'s surgery and make an appointment to see a female doctor there. Who knew how long the lump had been forming for? Surely another day or two wouldn't make that much of a difference? Jo's mind wandered as she stood beneath the furious torrent of water pouring from the showerhead, thinking back to how long it had been since she felt comfortable enough with anyone to allow the kind of intimacy that she and Lucy had begun sharing. And despite her family history and the constant reminders about self-examination, she acknowledged that she had been lax about checking herself for lumps for many months. Rationally, she knew that it was this fear of discovering the lump had been present for months which was making her more reticent about getting it investigated but that didn't make it any easier to bite the bullet and make the phone call she knew she really ought to make. She dallied under the shower for another ten minutes, her silent tears mingling with the piping hot water as she allowed her emotions to release themselves however they saw fit.

When she finally emerged, the brunette discovered a message on her answering machine from Sam, checking to see how she was and asking if she had followed instruction and had an x-ray. A glance at the clock told Jo that if she rang now, she might just catch Sam on her lunch, possibly being able to leave a message for her rather than have to speak to her. Although the avoidance would only be temporary, Jo suspected her voice would give away the fact she had been crying – an admission she did not want to make to Sam, no matter how close a friendship they had struck. She headed to the kitchen, cordless phone in one hand as she poured herself a generous glass of orange juice and popped a couple of pain killers from their packet. She knocked back the tablets chasing them down with a swig of her drink before dialling the number for Sun Hill police station. As the line was connected, Jo asked for Sam, hoping that voicemail would pick up in Sam's office.

"DI Nixon speaking, can I help you?" Sam was annoyed that the call had been put through to her with no details having been taken of the caller. She would be having words with someone about that later.

There was a pause on the other end of the line as Jo swallowed another swig of her drink, trying to clear some of the croakiness from her voice. "Sam, hi it's Jo." The brunette paused again to take a shaky breath, desperately trying to reign in her emotions and get them in check before continuing the conversation.

"Jo! How are you? Did you go to the hospital? What's the verdict?" Sam pounced on the pause, filling it with some of the questions which had been buzzing around her head for the past few hours.

"I'm ok, a bit sore but I'll live." Jo laughed bitterly to herself at the irony of that statement since she didn't actually know if that were the truth per se but it wouldn't be as a result of the morning's altercation. "I've cracked two ribs, been told to take it easy and I have some pain killers to take the edge off it. I've just taken a couple now so hopefully they'll kick in soon." Jo paused again, waging a mental battle between her head and her heart, both of which wanted very different things from this conversation. "Listen Sam…" again she hesitated.

"Talk to me Jo, what's going on in that head of yours? You seemed distracted today." Sam's concern almost proved to the Jo's undoing, a lump forming in her throat even as her head won the battle.

"I was just going to ask if I could take a few days off? I think it would do me good to just stay at home, I know it'd drive me mad being stuck at my desk 'til I'm able to go back out on the streets." Sam realised that she would get no further by pushing her friend to open up and so backed off, storing her concerns away for another time when she felt Jo was more ready to talk.

"Of course, take the rest of the week and if there's anything you need or anything I can do for you, call me ok? Doesn't matter what time of the day or night, promise me you'll get in touch and not struggle along on your own just cos you're stubborn?" Sam's soft tone took the sting out of her admonishment and Jo felt a smile stretch her facial muscles for the first time that day since Lucy had found the lump. "Or will you have your very own nursemaid on hand to tend to your every need?" Sam teased, hoping to coax some humour out of the buxom brunette.

"And deny you the honour of listening to me whinge? I think not!" Jo declared, her heart constricting at the thought of how she had hurt Lucy that morning, of how she had no idea of a way to bridge the gulf she had created between them. Part of her wanted to phone the younger woman, beg her to come back so that she could cling to her but another, more resolute part wanted to push her away, to spare her from the pain and loss she suspected would be on the horizon. Jo felt that this was a journey she was better making alone, knowing how hard it had affected those closest to her family members who had succumbed to the big 'C'.

"OK, well you know where I am and I'll give you a call later in the week to see if you feel up to coming back next week. Take all the time you need though Jo, don't rush back too soon. You work too hard as it is." Sam wished she could reach down the phone and envelope her close friend in a hug, sensing from her tone and demeanour that there was more on her mind.

"Pot, kettle and black is all I'll say to that Ms Nixon! And on that note, I think these tablets they gave me have begun to take effect. While I can still see, I'm going to check the label and make sure they're not horse tranquilisers and then I'll probably pass out on the bed for a bit." Just before she rung off, Jo murmured, "thanks Sam," into the receiver leaving the blonde DI at a loss for what she was being thanked for.

The rest of that day and much of the night had passed by in a drug-induced blur as the brunette kept up her intake of painkillers. The following morning, with a groggy head from so much sleep, Jo picked up the receiver with shaking hands and dialled the number for her doctor's surgery. The phone was answered after just two rings, giving her no time to back out or get cold feet. She asked for an appointment with a female GP, as soon as possible preferably. She knew the longer she had to wait, the more likely she was to not show up.

"Any chance you can be here at 2.45pm today?" The snippy receptionist asked.

"That soon? Yeah, er yeah I can make that." Jo's stomach roiled, nerves working themselves into a frenzy. She only hoped that they wouldn't insist on taking her blood pressure or she'd be hospitalised immediately!

"We have a cancellation with Dr Salim, I'll book you in for that." Jo gave the woman her details, recognising the doctor as one she had seen on a few occasions before – the most memorable being after Tessa had been a little over-enthusiastic with her use of a sex toy during a particularly steamy session of love-making early on in their relationship leaving Jo needing ointment for some very intimate friction burns! Strangely, the fact that she had shared something so personal with the doctor already made the thought of seeing her regarding this latest problem a little easier.

Jo arrived at the surgery a little early, anxious to get her appointment over and done with. Her palms were sweating as she booked herself in, her heart pounding as the receptionist announced that there had had to be a change of plan and another doctor would be seeing Jo, that Dr Salim had been taken ill herself. Nodding numbly in agreement to the change, Jo took a seat and waited for her name to appear on the display screen in the waiting area. The time seemed to pass interminably slowly until finally it was her turn. She entered cautiously, quietly informing the impossibly young looking GP of her situation. The young woman instructed Jo to undress her top half so that she could examine her, the majority of the appointment taken up with being poked and prodded. Jo conceded that it was something she would likely have to get used to if things were as she suspected, that a lot more people would be manhandling her chest before the trauma was over. When the doctor was satisfied she had been thorough enough, she invited Jo to redress and take a seat.

"The first stage is to get a mammogram and a biopsy done so we can see exactly what we're dealing with." Jo sat mutely across from the young registrar, silently screaming that 'we' weren't dealing with anything, that this was Jo's battle, Jo's body, Jo's problem alone. "I think we do have to be prepared that there is a strong likelihood of malignancy though given the texture of the tumour and your family history. Best case scenario, we've caught it good and early and it's Stage I, which means it is limited just to this one site with no invasion into the surrounding tissue." She could have been reading a text book for all the compassion and empathy that she felt coming from the medic.

She heard herself ask, "and worst case scenario?" The brunette steeled herself for the answer, a growing sense of detachment from her body.

"Worst case would be a stage IV metastatic tumour, one which has spread to other organs." Jo nodded her understanding, her skin crawling as she wondered how much of this she had inside her. "It's good that you came straight in, as soon as you discovered the lump. We can start diagnosing and treating it straight away now. The prognosis really is a lot better than you might think, the majority of women diagnosed with breast cancer do survive." Jo knew the young woman was trying to be supportive and encouraging but simply found her words glib.

"When? When do I get the tests done?" Jo's voice was hoarse from the strain of trying to contain her tears. She refused to crumble in front of a stranger, needing to remain aloof and detached until she was safely back at home.

"I'll fax a referral across to the hospital today. Ordinarily an appointment comes through within two weeks." Jo balked at the thought of having to live with the uncertainty for a whole fortnight, her horror must have been evident on her face. "I suspect once they consider your circumstances though, you will hear from them within a couple of days. I'll include a contact telephone number if you'll allow me to and then in the event of a cancellation, you can be seen as soon as possible." Panic was beginning to set in as she thought about receiving the phone call whilst at work, knowing she would not be able to duck out without sufficient explanation and really not wanting to have that conversation. She knew she would have to do some serious thinking, maybe it was time to take some leave, give herself the time and space she asked Lucy for in which to come to terms with and investigate her affliction.


	3. Chapter 3

Jo stood in the cold, sterile room trying to remain detached as her breast was hauled around like a slab of meat by the overworked technician. She felt the woman adjust her position again, moving her arm just a little higher, her feet just a little closer. The top plate was brought down onto her breast and pressure applied until the technician was satisfied it was sufficient for a clear x-ray to be taken. She did have the grace to smile apologetically as she assured Jo that it would only take a few moments but that she would need to take a couple of views since there was rather a lot of tissue to x-ray. Jo gritted her teeth, feeling exposed and vulnerable, naked from the waist up being man-handled by complete strangers who did their best to be sympathetic but it was little comfort to her. The discomfort from all this though was chased into the shade as the weight of the plates pressed into her tender flesh. She had been warned that it was not a pleasant experience but she now understood what her mother had meant when she stated that only a man could have come up with the concept for the mammogram. Of course, Jo understood the benefits of the device but damn it was not an experience she would care to repeat, though given what she was facing, she knew she would have to relatively frequently until such a time when she got the all clear. The technician was back by her side loosening off the plate and rearranging Jo's breast so that the part which had been neglected was now squashed between the two frigid metal paddles. The whole thing seemed to take an eternity as two shots of each breast were deemed necessary, her right breast being screened purely as a precaution she was assured. Left alone to redress, Jo then returned to her bed on the Day Unit to await the core biopsy, a procedure to take a chunk out of the tumour so that a pathologist could examine it and determine if it was cancer that Jo had and, if so, what stage and whether it had spread to the surrounding tissue. Her doctor was a very soft spoken Indian man, who had done his best to put Jo at ease as he listened to her chest and examined her breast and surrounding lymph nodes. Exhibiting some of her usual dry wit, Jo had assured him he was very privileged being the only man who had ever got up close and personal with her bosom. He had smiled genially at her remark, probing with knowing digits, searching out any secrets her body might wish to hang on to. She sat on her bed, flicking idly through a magazine, as she waited for his return, wishing that they would just get on with it so she could go home and hide under the duvet.

* * *

"Lucy, hi, it's Sam. You don't know where Jo is do you? I've tried ringing her but there's no answer at home and her mobile's switched off. I need to talk to her about a court case that's coming up; the trial dates been changed and I need her to be prepared to give evidence next week." Sam rattled off her dilemma, knowing it was an imposition asking to speak to Jo on her week off but not wanting her to be ambushed when she returned to work. Truth be told, she was more than a little concerned about her good friend too, not having seen her since she was assaulted by Peter Edwards and Sam had ordered her home. They had spoken a few times on the phone but Jo had been distant and reluctant to pin down a time that they could get together.

"I don't know I'm afraid, I haven't seen her in a few days." Sam heard the hurt and resignation in Lucy's voice.

"Everything ok with you two?" The feisty blonde was genuinely concerned, having seen how happy they had been together the Sunday before.

"Jo's not spoken with you?" Lucy was surprised figuring that Sam was the one person Jo would lean on. It broke her heart to realise that she must be trying to get through it alone.

"No, why?" The hairs on the back of Sam's neck were standing on end, her senses screaming at her that something was very not right.

"We had a… I don't know what you'd call it really… she asked me to leave last Monday morning, said she needed some time and space to sort her head out. I haven't heard from her since." The pain Lucy felt at the rejection was evident in her voice, her tone raw as she insisted, "I didn't do anything but love her." The line went dead in Sam's ear before she could press for more information or comfort the distraught young woman. She stood from her desk looking out into the CID office, her gaze automatically drifting to Jo's usually cluttered desk. Making a decision, she slipped on her jacket and grabbed her car keys, searching out DCI Meadows.

"Guv, I need to nip out for a short while and chase up Jo for this court appearance next week. I'm on my mobile if anyone needs me." Jack nodded, trusting Sam implicitly. Sam practically ran from the station, desperate to get to Jo's house and make sure she was ok.

* * *

"Miss Masters, we've got the results of your mammograms back." Hours after she had arrived on the Day Unit, Jo had been ushered into a side ward where she was being shown the extent of her predicament in stark form. "As you can see, the tumour is larger than we hoped it would be. To this end, with your agreement, I'd like to do an open biopsy. This will necessitate an overnight stay but we will remove the entire tumour for the pathologists to study, rather than just a sample. Depending on what the histology shows, there is a possibility we wouldn't need to perform any further operation beyond the biopsy but it does depend on the tissue surrounding the tumour and whether there are any signs of cancerous cells present." Jo swallowed hard, the small, irregular lump she had felt was only the tip of a much larger iceberg. The whole tumour was approximately the size of a small orange, making Jo wonder how she had not felt it before, a query which she voiced to the doctor. "It will have been a very gradual growth, one which obviously remained fairly deep-seated until this recent extension." He indicated the tell-tale protrusion which had been discovered by Lucy only five days earlier. "The biopsy is a fairly invasive procedure, is there anyone we can contact for you to be with you and to bring in some things from home for you?" Jo weighed up her options, knowing that she would need at least the bare essentials if she were facing an overnight stay. She finally settled on giving them Lucy's name and number, hoping that the young woman would forgive her for shutting her out over the past few days. A nurse headed off to make the call as the doctor described the procedure to Jo in greater detail, checking with her if she had any allergies or had had a reaction in the past to any form of anaesthetic.

* * *

Lucy ended the call with the nurse, sitting down heavily on her sofa. Her emotions were swinging like a pendulum from ecstasy that Jo had reached out for her to dread at what would greet her when she went to the hospital. Snapping out of her self-indulgent thoughts, the young beauty grabbed her car keys, checking that she had enough change to pay the astronomical car parking fees, and headed out to Jo's house, thankful that the brunette had trusted her enough to let her know where there was a spare key.

* * *

Sam peered in through Jo's front window frustrated when she saw no sign of the brunette being home. She hammered on the door once more, just to make sure, calling through the letterbox to try and rouse her friend if she were indoors. With a sigh, Sam returned to her car, resigned to returning to Sun Hill without any further clue as to the whereabouts or wellbeing of her friend.

* * *

Lucy parked outside Jo's modest house, watching a car's tail-lights disappear round the corner, thinking it looked remarkably like Sam's car. She wondered if the hospital had contacted Sam too and that the blonde had already collected belongings to facilitate Jo's overnight stay but as she entered the house and found post behind the door, she dismissed that idea. She took the stairs two at a time, searching through cupboards and wardrobes until she found a holdall which would fit enough items in to last Jo's stay. Into it, she piled a change of clothes, some pyjama's, all manner of toiletries and the book that Jo was currently wading her way through when she got the chance. Lucy raced back down the stairs locking the door behind her but keeping hold of the key in case she should need it, hoping Jo wouldn't mind her presumptuousness.

* * *

Jo felt her eyelids growing heavy as the pre-med started to work, a lightness coming over her body which she had not experienced since the Sunday before. As she began to succumb to the haze enveloping her, the brunette's thoughts returned to that night, to how content she had felt as the three of them had laughed, joked and generally enjoyed one another's company. What a difference a day makes, she mentally rejoined, feeling cast adrift from that time, from that life where happiness had been within her grasp. As her eyes slid closed, weighted down by drugs and despair, a solitary tear escaped, tracing a path over the smooth alabaster contours of her cheek and settling in her hair.

* * *

The clerk minding the desk looked up in alarm as a whirling dervish hurtled through the door of the Day Unit.

"Can you tell me where I can find Jo Masters please? I received a call earlier to say she was here but was going to theatre shortly." Lucy panted having sprinted from the car, not wanting to miss seeing Jo before her operation.

"Just a moment please." The clerk punched something into the computer in front of her. "Miss Masters is due to go down to the operating theatre any time now. She's in cubicle 7 which is through this door and on your left."

"Is it ok if I go in for a moment?" Lucy asked, her desperation clearly evident on her face.

"Of course. She'll have had her pre-med by now so don't be shocked if she's a little drowsy." The woman answered compassionately, a gentle smile adorning her motherly face. Lucy thanked her and moved through as directed to Jo's cubicle. She hovered momentarily just out of sight before rounding the corner and preparing to see the woman she had lost her heart to.

* * *

Jack spied Sam as she re-entered CID. "How'd it go with Jo? Are you confident she's ready for next week?"

"She wasn't in, I'll try and get hold of her again later." Sam answered distractedly.

"Have you tried her mobile? Maybe she's gone away for a few days." Jack tried reasoning.

"Her mobile's switched off. You know Jo, she'd never turn her mobile off unless she absolutely had to." Something was still niggling at Sam's conscience despite Jack's words being an entirely reasonable explanation for Jo's disappearance.

"Maybe she had a follow up appointment at the hospital, they have fracture clinics don't they? I'm sure she'll be ready whenever she's needed in court next week, Jo's nothing if not meticulous." Jack had every faith in the committed DC wondering why his DI did not seem to share his conviction.

"Possibly yeah." Sam decided that she would test that theory and contact the hospital to ask if she was in fact at a clinic there. Jo had not mentioned having to go back for a check up but then she had been pretty reticent with any details about how she was spending her time off. Sam had thought it was because she was spending time with Lucy and didn't want to embarrass Sam by sharing intimate details with her but following Lucy's earlier call, that theory had been blown out of the water.

* * *

Lucy took Jo's limp hand in her own, gently brushing her thumb across her knuckles and reaching out with her other hand to coax a stray lock of hair away from the sleeping beauty's face. A gentle smile touched Jo's lips as she leaned into the touch. With great effort, Jo forced her eyes to open. Despite her vision swimming from the drugs she had been given, Jo recognised the face of her angel.

"You came," she stated dreamily, turning her hand so that she could hold onto Lucy's own.

"Of course I did, I always will. You don't have to do this alone baby, I want to be here for you, to help you through this, no matter what this turns out to be or how long it takes to get you free of it."

"I don't deserve you." Jo mumbled, her words slurring slightly as she battled not to succumb to sleep once again.

"Sshhh sweetheart, you just rest up now and concentrate on getting better soon. I love you Jo." Lucy felt an immense relief at the angelic expression her new lover wore as she drifted off into a cloud of drug-induced oblivion once again, satisfied that no matter what lay ahead, Jo knew she was in it for the long haul. She sat for a while longer, watching the slumbering goddess who had chosen to share her life with her. Knowing it was doubtful that Jo could hear her any longer, Lucy assured her, "it's me who doesn't deserve you darling. You're everything I ever dreamed of in a partner, I only hope I don't disappoint you." A ward orderly arrived along with a flurry of activity as Jo was whisked off to theatre to have the growth removed from her breast. Lucy was shown through to a waiting room attached to the ward on which Jo would spend the night, the brunette lucky a bed had become available.

Lucy did not think it possible for her to look pale with her Mediterranean colouring but as she caught sight of herself in the glass window overlooking the car park she was proven wrong. "Please come back to me safe and sound Jo, I love you so much it scares me." She murmured to her own reflection. As she settled herself in for a long wait, another concern butted its way into her subconscious – whether to let Sam know Jo was in hospital. She remembered Sam calling looking for the brunette detective earlier, before the hospital had phoned and wanted to put the DI out of the misery Lucy was sure she must be feeling, knowing nothing about Jo's problems. But surely this was dangerous ground. If Jo had wanted Sam to know, wouldn't she have told her? Wouldn't it have been Sam that Jo had the hospital call? Would Jo think Lucy was jealous if she didn't call and Sam wasn't there when she woke up? Would she be hurt by her not informing her best friend? Or would she be angry that she had betrayed her confidence if she did? Erring on the side of caution and hoping it would not dent Sam's opinion of her, Lucy opted to wait until Jo regained consciousness after the surgery so that she could ask the brunette herself whether she would like Sam to be told.

* * *

"I've rung around all the hospitals in the area, no one has any record of an appointment for Jo in any fracture clinic." Sam was beginning to panic, wondering where Jo was and why she hadn't been in touch. Surely the DC knew that Sam would be going out of her mind with worry if she couldn't contact her? She thought she had made it plain to her friend that she was concerned, that she knew there was something else going on but wasn't going to pressure Jo to talk until she was ready to. Had she felt cornered and run? Had Sam pushed her too hard inadvertently? She didn't think so but it was hard to listen to a rational train of thought in her panic at all the worst case scenarios running through her mind. "I'm going to phone Lucy again, see if she's heard from her. This is just not like Jo." Sam informed her bewildered boss, Jack wondering why Sam was so het up about the other woman's absence.

"She's a grown woman Sam, maybe she just wants some peace." Jack supplied, figuring that he would never work women out for as long as he was breathing.

"Have we had any reports of accidents in the area around where Jo lives? Maybe I should have been talking to the emergency departments." Sam was prowling around her office like a caged tiger, her agitation rolling off her in waves.

"Sam just try calling this Lucy person before you go jumping to any conclusions." Jack attempted to steer his DI back to calmer, more logical thinking. Sam dug out her mobile flicking through the menus until she found the number she had dialled earlier.

"It has not been possible to connect your call. Please try again later." Sam listened to the tone signalling the line had been dropped, her heart free-falling into her stomach along with it.

"Her phones switched off. Where is she? Where are they both?" Sam resumed her pacing, hoping for some sign that her closest friend was ok. Jack attempted to delicately point out a less unsavoury explanation for both phones being unobtainable.

"Didn't you say they'd had some sort of falling out earlier in the week? Maybe they're a err… bit busy… you know… making up?" Even as he spoke the words, the DCI blushed, struggling to remove a decidedly erotic image from his mind even as he harshly reprimanded himself for such thoughts.

Sam considered the possibility, piecing together her suspicion that she had seen Lucy's car pull up at Jo's as she herself drove away, her inability to reach either woman. She had to admit, it did seem a fairly plausible explanation given the besotted looks she had seen them both sharing the previous weekend. "Maybe," she conceded, slumping into her chair and hoping that the explanation proved to be accurate.


	4. Chapter 4

"Jo? Can you hear me Jo? Open your eyes for me hun. You need to wake up now." Jo groggily blinked into the blinding overhead light, grateful for the shadow that fell across her face blotting out some of the glare. "That's good. How are you feeling? Any nausea?" Jo rolled her head from side to side, indicating she was not about to lose the contents of her stomach.

"When do we get started?" She murmured, fighting the urge to go back to sleep.

"It's over love, you've been out for the count for a couple of hours. We'll get you moved to the ward shortly and once you're a bit more with it, the surgeon will come and have a word with you." Jo nodded, feeling darkness swooping over her once again.

* * *

"Ms Sorella?" Lucy rose from the hard plastic chair grimacing as she felt her muscles scream in protest. "I'm Mr Sharif, I operated on Miss Masters. Are you her next of kin?" Lucy's heart dropped into her stomach, fearing the worst, or else why would they need Jo's next of kin?

Dumbly she shook her head, not really sure if Jo had any family. It wasn't something they had got around to discussing. "I'm her partner, I don't know about relatives we've not been together that long." The young woman explained.

"I can't discuss her treatment with you but she is out of theatre and has regained consciousness following the surgery. If you wish to, you can sit with her but be aware she will still be very sleepy for a while yet." Relief flooded through Lucy's veins as she heard Jo had come through the operation.

"I'd very much like to sit with her," she informed the surgeon, a lump forming in her throat. As she was guided into the ward on which Jo was recuperating, Lucy murmured her thanks to the staff. She pulled a chair close to her lover's bed and sat down, reaching for a listless hand and clasping it between her own.

Jo stirred slightly, feeling the pressure on her hand, not quite able to move thanks to the blanket of fog which seemed to be surrounding her brain. Words drifted into her mind, soothing quiet words which lulled her back into her cocoon of slumber.

"I'm here Jo, I'm right here with you. Everything's going to be ok baby, we're going to be ok." Lucy cooed softly, sweeping a hand across Jo's luscious shiny locks, her other still holding the brunette's tenderly.

* * *

Sam slumped onto her sofa, still concerned over her lack of contact with Jo. It just wasn't like the detective to disappear. She started as the phone rang, interrupting the silence in her otherwise unoccupied house.

"Hello?" She knew it was ludicrous, but she couldn't help but be disappointed when Abi's voice floated to greet her through the receiver and not the blunt Northern accent she had come to love.

"Hi Mum, how's things?" Abi bubbled into the phone, not having spoken to her mother in some time and finding that she had missed her more than she thought she would.

"Hi Abi, everything's good. How are you and Jared?" Sam sunk back into the plush cushions of the sofa, hoping talk of her grandson could distract her troubled mind for a while.

"He's adorable, as ever, except that he's teething so he's a bit cranky at the minute. Listen Mum, it's been ages since I saw you. Are you busy this weekend? And would you like some company?" Abi asked, keen to show how much Jared had grown since his granny last saw him.

"That would be brilliant love, I'd like your company very much. As luck would have it, you've picked my weekend off so I'm free whenever you care to descend." Sam felt her spirits lifted at the thought of spending time with her only grandchild.

* * *

"If you make an appointment with your GP for Monday, they should have received a copy of the biopsy results by then and can discuss them with you, make arrangements for any further appointments as necessary. Is there anything else you'd like to ask me?" The softly spoken surgeon asked.

Jo sat on the edge of the bed, gripping Lucy's hand fiercely having insisted the dark-haired young woman be allowed to stay as they discussed Jo's operation. "I don't know, I can't think…" Jo stammered, her usual poise not in evidence.

"What would be the best case scenario do you think, given what you've seen?" Lucy asked, returning Jo's vice-like grip but determined to keep a positive outlook for her lover's sake.

"I can't give you any kind of prognosis at this stage, we really do need to wait for the test results to come back. Anything else would be purely speculation and that would not be fair to Miss Masters." The doctor's eyes were warm and empathic, imploring Lucy to understand that he wished he could deliver some miracle salve to ease the waiting, knowing that the weekend would be the longest both women had possibly ever experienced. As he left to attend to his other patients, both women remained seated in silence.

Lucy was the first to break it, keen to get away from the smell that was so unmistakably hospital and to make the weekend as easy as it possibly could be for her partner. "Come on, let's get you home. You'll feel better once you're in your own bed."

Jo bit back a sharp retort, knowing she would only be lashing out in her fear and anger at the one person she really did not want to lose. Her stubbornness had already risked chasing her amazing lover away, she was determined that she would not make the same mistake twice.

Lucy pulled to a halt outside Jo's modest house, unbuckling her seat belt and rounding the car to grab the overnight bag and assist Jo. The brunette could not believe how tiring it was sitting in a car but she had no resistance left in her to shuck off the hand supporting her arm as she tried to lever herself out of the car. Once inside, Lucy angled after Jo heading straight upstairs.

"Please, just let me sit down for a while. I don't know what they gave me to keep me under last night but it takes some shifting from your system I can tell you!" Jo sunk gingerly onto her plush couch, groaning in relief as she felt its softness envelope her.

"Some of it's probably this stuff they've given you for the pain, it sounds pretty hefty!" Lucy informed her as she busied herself emptying the contents of the overnight bag, shovelling all clothing into the washing machine as she did so. "Can I get you a drink?" the younger woman called from the kitchen.

"Coffee, black and strong would be good." Reaching over gingerly, Jo pressed the button on her answering machine to see if she had any messages that needed replies.

"Jo, it's Sam, I need to speak to you about the Braxton case – the trial date's been brought forward to the 14th. If you can give me a call when you pick this up, we can go through the finer details, refresh your memory that sort of thing. Hope you're ok and enjoying your time off. Speak to you soon. OK bye." Sam rung off and the machine flicked onto the next message.

"Hi Jo, it's me again. Pick up if you're there, please?" There was a pause as Sam had obviously waited to see if Jo would comply. "Hope nothing's wrong, I tried your mobile but it's switched off. Ermm, I don't want to pry but I spoke to Lucy and she sounded quiet upset. If you want to talk about it, you know where I am ok. Talk to me any time, doesn't matter when. Ring me ok?" Sam hung up once again, a definite edge to her voice that Jo thought was bordering on panicked.

"You have no more messages." The machine stated mechanically as Lucy walked into the room with a steaming mug of black coffee.

"What did you tell Sam?" Jo asked, her voice more harsh than she intended.

"Nothing, I didn't know what you'd want me to tell her." Lucy perched beside the buxom brunette, a wary expression on her beautiful face.

"She said she spoke to you and you were upset. Said that I could talk to her about it anytime. What does she mean by 'it' Luce?" Jo struggled to sit forward to put her cup on the coffee table. Instinctively, Lucy reached out and took it from her. "I can do it myself." Jo snapped, hating feeling so helpless in her own body.

"I know you can sweetheart, I just don't want you popping any of your stitches or hurting yourself, that's all." Jo had the good grace to look contrite, offering a murmured apology as she sank back into the sofa, still clearly awaiting an answer to her previous question.

"I told her that we'd had a run in on Monday morning, nothing more than that. I told her she'd have to talk to you." Lucy's voice caught as she remembered the conversation, her fear that she had lost the best thing in her life. "She cares about you Jo, why won't you let her be there for you?"

"I'm tired, I don't want to talk about it." Jo manoeuvred herself off the sofa with great effort, needing to put some space between herself and the turn of the current conversation. She shuffled up the stairs and closed the bedroom door behind her, indicating her wish to be alone.

* * *

Abi ran into the hall and grabbed up the receiver just before it rang off. "Hello?" she panted breathlessly.

"Sam? It's Jo." The brunette was unsure this was such a good idea, but didn't want Sam worrying about her. It would only make her more determined to seek her out if she didn't make contact.

"Oh hi Jo, it's Abi. Hang on a minute, I'll just get her for you." Jo heard a muffled squeal in the background followed by "Mum, it's for you surprisingly since it's your house. It's Jo."

Sam sprang up from the floor where she had been rolling around with Jared, playing with farmyard toys. She practically sprinted the short distance to the phone.

"Jo? Hi, thank God, I've been worried sick. Are you ok? Did you get my messages? Where've you been?" The dynamic blonde knew she was firing off questions rapidly but her mind was awhirl and would not be quieted until she had some answers.

"I'm sorry Sam, I've had this flu bug for the last few days, been laid up in bed. My phone battery must have died and I'd turned the ringer down on the landline. I picked your messages up late last night when I finally emerged." Jo felt awful lying to her best friend, but there was no way she was ready to share her bombshell not yet, maybe not ever if she could avoid it.

"Oh I'm sorry Jo. You must have been pretty out of it, I was hammering on your door for about ten minutes the other day!" Sam felt the relief infuse her system, figuring that Jo sounded weary and down but that that could just be the after effects of the illness she'd had. "So much for enjoying a few days off then. Are you up to coming back into work or would you rather take some more time out?" Sam asked, more out of friendly concern than as the DC's supervisor.

"I've got a doctor's appointment on Monday morning but I'll be in as soon as I can. Can we set some time aside Monday afternoon to go through the Braxton case?" Sam agreed that it would be a good time to discuss the case going to court the following Wednesday.

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can bring over for you? Save you having to go out." Lucy quietly knocked on the bedroom door, entering with a mug of hot coffee for Jo, hoping that she wouldn't mind the intrusion.

"No I'm fine thanks Sam, I've got Lucy here acting as a very good nursemaid for me, she's been a real trouper." Jo gazed directly at her lover, willing her to believe the words despite her own earlier harshness towards the woman who was just trying to care for her. She was pleased to see a gentle smile touch the corners of the raven-haired beauty's lips.

"Good to hear you two sorted out whatever it was that got her so upset. She's a keeper Jo, you're both very lucky to have each other." Jo felt a lump form in her throat as Sam's words hit home, making her realise just how lucky she was after all she had put Lucy through in the past week.

"I'm the lucky one Sam having two incredible women looking out for me." Sensing that her dam was about to spring a serious leak, Jo concluded, "I'll let you get back to Abi and Jared, since I presume that's him in the background and you've not taken to torturing the neighbourhood pets! Enjoy the rest of your weekend and I'll see you on Monday." They hung up, Jo reaching out to Lucy. Thinking that she was accepting the drink, the younger woman went to pass it over but stopped as Jo shook her head. Placing the mug on the bedside table, Lucy moved into the circle of her lover's arms, tentatively embracing her mindful not to hurt her.

"Did you tell her?" Lucy broached the sore subject, feeling Jo shake her head against her stomach where it rested.

"I can't, not yet. I need to know what I'm up against before I worry her like that. Please Luce, can you respect my wishes?" Jo looked up, her eyes pleading the other woman to do as she asked.

"She'd want to be there for you Jo, no matter what it is or how long it takes. She's your best friend, don't shut her out because you're scared of getting hurt." Lucy spoke tenderly, brushing the brunette's hair away from her face as she did so.

"I'm not telling her, I'm not ready for that. Telling her… it would make it… then it would be real. If you love me at all, you won't say anything to her. I guess if you tell her, we'd have nothing left to say to each other." Lucy's heart clenched at the thought Jo could walk away from her if she followed her heart and spoke to Sam.

"Ok, I'll respect that for now but you have to acknowledge that whether you tell Sam or not, this is still real baby." Lucy held Jo as the stricken woman sobbed for all she was worth; her fears, her anger, her sense of injustice all mingling and soaking the soft cotton top covering Lucy's exquisite body.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Just a short update since it's been a while and I've not had much chance to write. As always, I don't own the characters, that would be Talkback Thames lucky privilege. Any and all feedback is great, I really appreciate all those lovely people who've taken the time to read and review this. Thank you to you all, this chapters dedicated to you._**

**_I have some free time tomorrow so I'm hoping to hammer out some more then and with any luck, it won't be so long before I update again next time! So watch this space as they say and keep the reviews coming whether you think I rock, suck or you just don't right royally care either way!!!_**

* * *

Jo snapped her phone shut after finishing her brief conversation with Lucy. It had taken most of Jo's energy that morning to insist she should attend the doctor's appointment alone, preferring that Lucy not be there to hear the results. Part of her was still terrified, despite her lover's insistence to the contrary, that if the news was not positive, Lucy would run away from their fledgling relationship. Sitting outside the surgery though and having just spoken to the young woman who had captured her heart, Jo was seriously reconsidering her insistence, not sure that she could go through with walking through the door and hearing what the immediate future held for her. With shaky hands, Jo turned the tiny mobile off and rose on even shakier legs, knowing that she could not afford to put off hearing the results of the tests she'd had done.

The door closed behind her with a dull thud, every scrap of air being drawn from her lungs along with it as though a vacuum had been created in the poky examination room.

"Take a seat Jo," instructed the young registrar Jo had originally been seen by. Jo did as she was bid, trying to concentrate on her breathing and avoid a full on panic attack – something she thought she had overcome at seventeen. If the registrar was surprised to see no one accompanying the obviously fraught woman, she did not show it. "I won't prolong the agony for you, I have the results of your biopsy and I'm sure you must be anxious to hear the news." Jo nodded mutely, dimly aware that it was all she seemed to do around the surgery at the moment. "I'm afraid it's not the best news we could have hoped for. The tumour removed did contain quite significant malignant cells and there is some evidence that it has spread to the surrounding tissue. The pathology report states that the cells taken during your biopsy exhibit characteristics of a Stage 3 Grade II tumour. You'll be getting an appointment through from the hospital to attend the Oncology clinic, a specialist will be able to explain to you what exactly this means and what the next step will be in treating the tumour. You'll need to have more tests done so the oncologists can determine if the disease has spread already or if it's contained within the breast and lymph nodes. I've been in touch with the hospital this morning. There's been a cancellation on Thursday morning so I'd really like you to attend for an MRI scan." Jo was struggling to keep up, her concentration threatening to zone out completely as she fought to comprehend just what this would mean. One thing that struck her like a sledgehammer was that the doctor was being careful to avoid speaking of curing the disease.

"Is it…" Jo's voice stuck in her throat, lodged behind a tight band which was slowly squeezing her airway. She cleared her throat and tried again, "is it terminal?"

The young GP paused, seemingly fighting an internal battle of her own over just how honest she should be with her patient. "At this stage, I can't give you a definite answer either way, I'm sorry. Aside from this, you're in good health, you're young and you're in a good position to fight it. Until further tests are done and it's clear whether this is the only tumour or whether there are others, we can't know what the prognosis is likely to be."

"But it could be right? If it has spread to other parts of my body?" Jo persisted, feeling a numbness wash over her, as though she were on the outside looking in, watching someone else receive the devastating news.

"There's a possibility, yes." The registrar conceded grudgingly. Jo simply nodded.

"When do I have to be there on Thursday? I'll have to see if I can get the time off work." Her voice had taken on a dull, almost lifeless tone, matching the emptiness in her eyes.

"There's a free appointment at 9.30am. I strongly advise that you speak to your boss and fill them in on this Jo. Regardless of the outcome of these tests, it's clear you will need some form of treatment and that's bound to have an impact on your job." The registrar consulted the computer screen on her desk. "It says here you're a police officer."

"I'll manage at work, I don't want my superiors knowing unless they have to. They'll only overreact and try to confine me to my desk for the duration of… whatever." Jo muttered, fearing that she would not be able to keep it from Sam once she saw her, the diminutive blonde having an uncanny knack for reading Jo like a book even when others had no clue that anything was wrong.

"All I'm asking is that you don't rule out asking them for support. You never know, they might surprise you." The registrar prompted gently. When Jo said nothing further, she asked, "is there anything else you' like to ask? Anything you're not clear on or want to talk about?"

Jo shook her head, feeling tears threatening to spill over and swallowing reflexively to keep them at bay. "I'd better get going, don't want you running late cos of me."

"Take all the time you need Jo. You've had some very difficult news this morning, take as long as you need to let it sink it before you go out there. Let me worry about my surgery times." The young doctor slid a selection of pamphlets across the desk towards her patient, "I think it might help you to read these before you see the oncologist. They might answer some questions you already have and raise others that you haven't thought of yet. There are also some useful phone numbers on there, support groups, information lines that sort of thing." Jo took the proffered leaflets slipping them silently into her bag before rising from the chair. "Before you go, I'd like to take a look at your stitches, make sure it's healing ok." Both women knew the registrar was playing for time, trying anything to stall Jo's departure, fearing that she was not ready to face the outside world just yet.

With a solemn smile, Jo nodded her assent, slipping her arms out of her jacket and unbuttoning the cotton blouse she was wearing. She pulled the vest top beneath it up out of the way, wincing a little as the scar pulled against her raised arm. The GP unhooked Jo's simple cotton bra, sliding one cup away from her breast to allow her unguarded access to the biopsy site. She gently peeled back the dressing, softly, deftly examining the wound below until she was satisfied she could find no evidence of infection. As she redressed, Jo felt grateful to the woman for allowing her a few more moments to collect herself before exiting the room, feeling a little better able to cope than she had ten minutes earlier. Thanking the registrar one last time, Jo took a deep breath as she left the small consultation room, striding with head down determinedly towards the exit and her car.

* * *

"Jo? God that seemed like the longest half hour in history. What did she say?" Lucy had practically been pacing up and down the small office she shared with her co-workers the entire time Jo had been in the surgery.

"It's not good news Luce." Jo was sat behind the steering wheel of her car, feeling her lips beginning to tremble and the white hot burn of tears brimming in her eyes as she heard her lover's concerned voice. "It is… this lump, it's…" The brunette could hear the word over and over in her head but no matter how she tried to voice it, it just refused to pass her lips.

"How bad?" Lucy interjected, not needing to hear it to know what they were now definitely dealing with.

"I've got to have more tests. It might be in other places too." Jo's voice was beginning to tell the strain of trying to remain stoic. Lucy could hear shaky breaths being drawn on the other end of the line and realised that her own breathing was far from smooth.

"Go home Jo, I'll be there as soon as I can and we can talk about this properly."

"I can't, I've got to get to work. You'll come over later though right?" Jo wasn't used to needing anyone but as hard as she found it to accept, she realised that she needed Lucy, heart, body and soul right now.

"Of course, but you really shouldn't be going in to work sweetheart, not after this. Sam will understand." The younger woman attempted to persuade the stricken detective to think of herself, of her own needs and what was best for her alone.

"Sam can't know. You promised you wouldn't tell her. I swear Luce, I love you but if you can't back me on who I tell and when I tell them, I can't be with you."

* * *

"Sam? Hi it's erm… it's Lucy," the blonde DI heard the trepidation in Jo's lover's voice.

"Lucy, what is it? What's the matter?" Sam crossed to her door, closing it quietly so she could talk to the younger woman in private. She caught sight of Jo just arriving at her desk, looking subdued and shockingly pale, her heart sinking as she considered that fact in conjunction with Lucy's call.

"Is Jo there?"

"She's just arrived yeah. Do you want a word with her? I can fetch her." Sam remained standing, mobile clamped in her hand.

"No, I spoke with her when she came out of the doctors. I figured she'd come straight to work. Will you keep an eye on her for me?" Lucy wanted badly to tell Sam, to talk to someone who knew Jo and also to make Sam aware of what was going on. She felt Sam deserved that at least as Jo's best friend but she was also very aware of Jo's threat if she did fill Sam in. Part of her knew it was up to Jo who she told and when but more than anything she would need support around her over the coming months.

"Is she ok?" Sam sensed the internal battle raging at the other end of the phone. "You don't have to tell me details if you can't." The diminutive blonde sought to make it as easy as she could for the woman whom she had grown to consider a friend in her own right, not just Jo's partner.

"She's had some bad news but you know what she's like, puts a brave face on all the time even when she's hurting like hell inside. She can't know I've told you anything, Sam, she said she'd leave me if I betrayed that trust." Lucy's voice cracked at the prospect of losing the best thing in her life.

"You have my word. I won't let her know a thing but I will keep an eye on her, discretely, and make sure she's ok. Hopefully, in her own time, she'll feel able to talk to me herself about whatever it is." Sam's brain was running through the possibilities, wondering what news had been delivered to Jo that morning, hundreds of worst case scenarios springing to mind as a churning sensation grew in the pit of her stomach. "If you ever need anyone to talk to, pick up the phone and call me, OK?" Sam heard sniffling on the other end of the line, fear making her own eyes sting at the possibilities her mind was conjuring up.

"Thanks Sam, that means a lot. I've got to get back to work." The women ended their conversation, the revelation that something serious was up with Jo hanging in the air as though it were a living breathing entity. Her desk phone ringing startled the DI from her reverie.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam was brought back to her current surroundings by a soft knock on her office door. With the blinds drawn she couldn't see who was standing on the other side. "Come in," she invited, her voice husky through her fears for what Jo might be struggling to get through.

"Hi Sam, is this a bad time? I can come back later to go through the Braxton case if now's not a good time?" The object of Sam's concern edged back towards the door she had just entered through, a dagger piercing her as she took in her drawn, solemn expression fearing that Lucy had gone against her wishes after all.

"No Jo, come in and take a seat. I think now is the perfect time to discuss the case." Jo offered Sam a quizzical look, silently asking for an explanation to that statement. "Can I get you a coffee before we start? It might take a while to thrash out the details and I want us to be absolutely clear on everything before the CPS arrive." Now Jo was even more confused.

"But why are the CPS going to arrive? What's going on Sam?" The brunette knew she wasn't at her sharpest but felt increasingly as though she had drifted out of sync with her colleague.

"I had a phone call from Inspector Gold a few moments ago. A colleague of hers from a station in Leeds phoned to let her know Susanne Lord was found hanged by her mother this morning. She'd gone up there to try and avoid the press, was staying with her family and as far as we knew planning to return Wednesday morning in time for the trial." Sam explained, perching on the front of her desk close to her friend, shocked by just how pale and tired she looked at close quarters.

"How did he get to her? He must have done right? So the CPS are coming over to bust our balls about finding out how he managed to intimidate her this time? Let's do some digging then, I'll call the prison see who he's phoned in the last few days." Jo went to stand but was ushered back into her seat by the petite blonde, who did not fail to notice the wince her friend could not disguise as the contact was made.

"It's worse than losing our key witness, Jo. Susanne left a note, blaming this department for pressurising her into testifying against Andrew Braxton. She's retracted her complaint of abuse against him which means unless we can clear our own names and prove that he got to her within the next twenty four hours, he will walk away and we won't be able to touch him." Sam clarified, knowing she would have to inform Jo that it was her name mentioned specifically in the apparent suicide note. Doubtless the vultures would be swarming, looking for a scapegoat to pin it on if the case was thrown out of court. Sam was determined that it would not be Jo's head on the block.

"Sam, he beat that woman senseless for three years. There's a record that could wallpaper this entire station of how many domestic incidents uniform have been called to attend at their address. Everyone has their breaking point and when she saw him turn that belt on his own daughter, Susanne could not tell us fast enough what he had done to her. She was adamant in her wishes to see him behind bars. Terry and I took her statement, it's all on tape, we never needed to push her." Jo stood and prowled to the window, wondering if her day could get any worse.

"Inspector Gold is getting them to fax a copy of the note across, we should get it in the next ten minutes or so hopefully. Jo, you need to be prepared for what it might say. All I know at this point is that you are mentioned in it by name." Jo spun around to face Sam who was careful to keep her face impassive. Apparently her day could get worse, much worse.

"So now I'm going to be under investigation? I'm going to have some snot-nosed little prick prying into my conduct on every case I've worked looking for any abuse of my position?" Jo fumed, stalking back towards the desk and leaning on the back of the chair she had been sat in.

"We both know they won't find any, don't we Jo? But we need concrete evidence that you did not coerce Susanne into making that complaint and that somehow Braxton sent a real enough threat that she felt she was better off dead." Sam implored Jo to see that she had her full backing, not just as a friend but as her senior officer who knew that whilst the brunette may stretch the boundaries occasionally, she would never jeopardise the conviction of anyone in such a manner.

"That coffee sounds like a good idea. Any chance of you slipping something stronger into it?" Jo's attempt at a smile failed to reach her eyes which flickered to Sam's for the first time since entering the room. Sam sucked in a breath at what she saw in her close friend's ordinarily expressive eyes. Jo had the gaze of a traumatised victim, a look which spoke of suffering and resignation.

"We will get through this with your job and your reputation intact." Sam reached out and squeezed her friend's arm lightly.

"That's a tall order, Sam. Don't make promises you can't keep, we both know that mud sticks and the majority of people still reckon there's no smoke without fire." Jo returned to the chair, running a hand through her auburn locks as she sat down, her mind racing in fresh turmoil. As Sam left the room to fetch the hot drinks, the brunette detective offered up a silent plea to any higher power who might be listening to cut her a break, wondering what she did and to whom to deserve everything that was suddenly being thrown at her.

* * *

Gina entered CID, her face grim. She spied her friend and colleague by the coffee pot, fortuitously alone.

"The fax arrived. If it weren't so damning it would be laughable." Gina barked quietly having strode over to where Sam stood. The tiny blonde jumped, having been lost in her own thoughts and not heard the Inspector's approach. The older woman made no comment if she noticed the nervy reaction.

"What's the damage?" Sam asked holding a hand out for the manila folder her colleague was brandishing.

"Paints DC Masters as a bit of a harlot really, claims she seduced the complainant in order to persuade her to testify against her boyfriend. Spouts some rubbish about promising them a future together only for Jo to dump her once she got her agreement and her statement to put Mr Braxton behind bars. Says she went to Leeds to escape Jo and not the Press, that Jo has been relentlessly stalking her and badgering her not to back out of testifying. Ms Lord suggests that she felt her 'relationship' with Jo was even more abusive than Braxton had ever been, that the psychological torment she suffered at DC Masters' hands drove her to end her life, that it was the 'only option left open to her to end the bullying'." Gina recounted the contents of the note left by the hanged victim unsurprised when Sam swore softly under her breath. "Where is DC Masters?"

"In my office already. I was just getting coffee to fortify us both before we tackle her version of events. His defence are going to have a field day with this aren't they?" Sam's shoulder's slumped at the thought of another violent waste of DNA being released without paying for his crimes.

"From what I hear, they are already drawing up the papers to have the case thrown out." Gina knew to tread lightly, knowing Sam and Jo were close, but feeling the need to express her concerns all the same. "Make sure you know for certain which side you should be on before they turn up to grill DC Masters." Sam levelled a cool glare at her fellow officer.

"We both know that Jo is a damn good officer who would never think of abusing her trust or power that way."

"Knowing and proving are two different things. As a police officer you should know that Sam. Can you account for Jo's whereabouts at all times? Can you prove she had no contact with the victim she is alleged to have stalked and psychologically abused? Concentrate on getting these details ironed out with Jo, I'll get some of my officers to do some discrete digging into Mr Braxton's recent activities." Gina rejoined turning on her heel and walking from the office.

* * *

"I was beginning to think you'd gone grinding the coffee beans yourself." Jo joked as Sam returned to the office, a steaming mug in each hand and a folder tucked under her left arm.

"Inspector Gold brought me the faxed suicide note." Sam's heart was pounding, hating that she had to ask Jo the questions she would have to in order to satisfy her obligations as the younger woman's superior officer. "I need you to be honest with me about your relationship with Susanne Lord. Did you at any time have anything more than a professional relationship with her?"

"In what way? I mean, I was friendly to her, offered her my support and told her she could call me anytime she needed to talk. I gave her my work's mobile number since I always have that on." Jo answered a little cagily. "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" she asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Her note suggests that you were… interested in getting to know her on a more personal level. That you may have used your sexuality to convince her to testify against Braxton." Sam answered, watching Jo for her reaction as much as listening to her answers.

"So what? I'm supposed to be some sort of rapist now? I prey on victims and make them sleep with me in return for putting away their bastard boyfriends?" The brunette fired back angrily, feeling tears of hurt and frustration spring unbidden to her eyes. "I thought we were friends Sam. Do you really think I'm capable of something like that?" Jo held up a hand, forestalling any answer the other woman would try to give. "Don't answer that, I don't think I want to hear it." Jo stormed out of the office heading straight out of CID and finding the nearest available bathroom. She had just managed to lock herself into a cubicle and kneel before losing the meagre contents of her stomach.

* * *

The door opened quietly, the soft sucking of the frame and door parting company sounding loud in the silent bathroom. She had no idea how long she had been sitting on the floor, a numbness having settled over her as she battled to cope with all the blows raining down on her.

"Jo?" Sam's voice was hushed, her concern evident. "Please Jo, we need to finish this discussion. You know I have to do this as your superior. It has nothing to do with my own personal feelings about you." The DI was cautious not to say too much in case she was mistaken and it wasn't Jo in the locked cubicle.

Grudgingly the brunette reached up and slid the bolt back from it's nesting place in the catch, letting the door swing inwards as was its want when not fastened in place. Sam crouched beside her, worried that it was too much that, if Jo was seriously ill as she feared she might be, this would be one battle too many for the ordinarily vibrant young woman.

"Tell me honestly Sam, do you think that's what I did? As DI, do you think a member of your team could stoop to those kinds of levels?" Jo refused to look at Sam, feeling exposed and vulnerable, knowing that the flimsy walls she had erected would come tumbling down if she allowed her friend to see into her eyes.

"Not for a minute. But as I've just had pointed out to me, knowing and proving are two very different things." Sam offered Jo her hand to help her up off the floor, slightly hurt when Jo refused to take it, preferring to lever herself up alone.

"So what now?" Jo steadied herself against a wave of dizziness and nausea, reminding her that she had not eaten despite taking strong painkillers.

"Are you sure you're well enough to be here? If you're still not over that flu-bug, you can take some more time off. Heaven knows you're owed enough time for the extra hours you put in last month." Sam prepared herself to catch Jo, who looked for all the world as though she were heading straight back to the floor.

"I'm fine. Besides, that would just look like I was trying to stay out of the way, make me look guilty and make you look like you were giving me preferential treatment cos of our friendship. We both promised when we became friends that there'd be no expectation or offer of that. As far as I'm concerned, that still stands." Jo managed to remain on her feet, her stomach lurching again but the contents, or at least the tiny amount still remaining, stayed put.

Sam gave Jo a look which told her she did not believe she was fine but she had to concede Jo had a point about how it would look. "Come on then, back to my office and we'll get you a glass of water. You look as though you could use one. I think your coffee will be beyond redemption by now I'm afraid."

* * *

"Jo, when you were off, where did you go? Were you really in bed with the flu? Only Lucy didn't seem to know where you were either and yet you told me that she had been with you, playing nursemaid." Sam had to give voice to the question which had been nagging her since she had read the note left by Susanne Lord. "If you tell me you were nowhere near Susanne, I'll believe you, but I need you to be honest with me."

"I can honestly, 100 percent truthfully say that I was nowhere near Susanne Lord whilst I was off work." Jo answered, failing to elaborate on just where it was she had been, fearing that it would become harder to keep the truth from Sam as the investigation drew on. Sam considered Jo for a few moments, weighing up the statement she had made before deciding not to push any further.

"That's good enough for me. Go through your paperwork on the case just to be on the safe side. Make sure all the i's are dotted and the t's crossed. You'll get all the backing I can give you on this Jo, both as your friend and as your senior officer." Jo made to leave the DI's office, hand on the door handle before pausing.

"I need a couple of hours off on Thursday morning if possible."

"It's a bit short notice, what's it for?" Sam asked wondering if Jo was finally going to talk to her about whatever had been eating away at her since her arrival.

"I've got a hospital appointment, nothing serious, just routine checks." Jo told her, unable once again to meet the intuitive blonde's eyes.

"What sort of checks? Jo, are you sure everything's ok?" Sam gave her a cast iron opening to talk to her.

"I don't see that that's any of your business DI Nixon. Now can I have the time off or do I need to phone the hospital and cancel?" Jo bristled, not liking the feeling of being backed into a corner, having dreaded asking for that very reason.

"As your DI, yes you can have the time off. But I wasn't asking as DI Nixon, I was asking as your friend. Jo I'm worried about you. You look tired and pale and something is obviously on your mind. And then you tell me you have to go to the hospital for 'routine checks'. Well I'm sorry for caring but you're the only person I know who has to go for any such checks. Talk to me Jo, please?" Sam rounded the desk, imploring Jo to meet her gaze. She reached out a hand only for Jo to pull away sharply.

"The appointment's at half nine, I'll be in as soon as I can after that." With that, Jo left the office and a stung Sam in her wake.


	7. Chapter 7

"DC Masters, is it true that you gave the defendant's partner your telephone number, inviting her to call you for a chat?" The oily solicitor representing Andrew Braxton asked, his client sitting beside him attempting to keep the smug grin off his face and failing miserably.

"No, it is not. I gave Ms Lord my business card with my contact numbers on and told her that she could call me any time if she needed to discuss the case." Jo stated plainly, her eyes firmly fixed on the solicitor questioning her, refusing to be intimidated.

"Is that normal procedure? Would it not normally be the solicitor in charge of prosecuting the case to which any such enquiries would be directed?"

"In most cases that is correct yes…" Jo began only to be cut off.

"So what was different in this case? Why did you invite contact after the arrest was made on this occasion?"

"I knew that Susanne… Ms Lord… was struggling with her decision to press charges against Mr Braxton. I wanted to make sure she had the support she needed to see that decision through to its natural conclusion." Jo articulated, feeling as though she were under a microscope.

"What did you do when Ms Lord failed to contact you?" The question caught Jo off-guard, her frown indicating that she was unclear what was being asked of her.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand the question," she stated simply.

"Did you make any attempt to reinitiate contact with Ms Lord when she did not telephone you?" The solicitor enquired sharply, as though suspecting Jo of knowing exactly what he had meant.

"In response to a missed call on my mobile, I did telephone Ms Lord to see if she was ok."

"Where did this missed call originate from? Was it a number you recognised as being Ms Lord's?"

"No, it was a withheld number. I had a hunch it was Ms Lord trying to get in touch with me." Jo attempted to remain calm in the face of being painted as the one who had pursued prolonged contact with the victim.

"Do you regularly follow your hunches DC Masters? Even when there is no concrete evidence to back up your theories?" Jo's eyes flickered to the person representing the prosecution, half expecting them to intervene. She saw a distinct disinterest in return though and realised she was very much on her own.

"No, I wouldn't say regularly."

"Did Ms Lord discuss with you at any point what her occupation was?" The change in line of questioning threw Jo momentarily.

"I seem to recall her telling me on one occasion that she was a nurse." She answered carefully, not wishing to unwittingly offer any ammunition which could be fired back at her.

"And did you discuss her place of work?"

"Yes, she reported Mr Braxton arriving there and threatening her on a few occasions."

"Allegedly threatening her. Where did Ms Lord work DC Masters?"

Heart beginning to hammer in her chest, Jo's eyes flickered into the room once more, this time settling on Sam who had insisted on attending the hearing, to decide whether their case could proceed, to offer morale support to Jo. "She told me she worked at St Hugh's Hospital."

"And how often have you yourself visited St Hugh's in the last two weeks?" The judge seemed to grow tired of the seemingly random questioning, warning the solicitor that he had better prove that this was relevant or change his line of questioning. After a brief assurance that the relevance would become clear very soon, the judge invited Jo to answer the question posed to her.

"I don't really recall, a few times I suppose."

"We have collected CCTV footage which suggests you were in attendance at the hospital no less than ten times during this period of time. Would you say you were on official police business during all those visits, DC Masters?" Jo squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, wishing for all the world that Sam was not in the room.

"Not every visit no."

"Indeed not. On Friday 9th November 2007, you were at the hospital for a number of hours. Is it mere coincidence that it was following the end of her shift that day that Ms Lord decided to return to her parents' house in Leeds? What was your business at the hospital that day DC Masters?" Jo felt her chest constrict. So that was it. Whilst she was being put through the most degrading and distressing experience of her life, they thought she had been badgering their key witness? If it wasn't so pathetic, it would have been laughable, she thought to herself.

"I was there on a personal matter, one which I don't wish to discuss here today." Jo stated with more conviction than she felt.

"Did you go to the hospital that day to speak with Ms Lord and persuade her to continue with the prosecution, even though she had expressed doubts to you during a conversation a few days previously?"

"No…"

"Was this not just another in a string of visits you had made to the hospital with the sole intent of ensuring your conviction would not be ruined by your only witness failing to testify?"

"No!" Once again Jo was cut off from saying anything further by another question being fired at her.

"If you insist that you were not in the hospital to intimidate my client's partner into testifying against him, then why will you not tell us why you _were_ there DC Masters? If necessary, I can request a subpoena for your medical records to prove you were not there as a patient." The solicitor looked so smug with himself, so self-assured that his interpretation of Jo's behaviour was correct that part of Jo wanted to tell him to do just that. The satisfaction of seeing that smarmy half-grin wiped off his face would have been almost worth it. She willed herself not to show the extent of her distress, swallowed down the hurt and hate she felt for the toad-like man standing before her, badgering her to answer his question and knowing that whatever she gave as her answer would devastate someone; if she lied, she would be left devastated for perjuring herself, if she told the truth, Sam would be beyond hurt that she had heard in such a manner about Jo's condition. As it was, the DI would already realise that Jo had lied to her about being in bed with flu on that day.

"DC Masters, if you cannot provide us with a satisfactory explanation for your attendance at hospital that day, this court will have to assume you were participating in the intimidation of a key witness and issue sanctions accordingly." The judge stated, leaving Jo with even less room for manoeuvre.

"I'll ask you again DC Masters, what exactly was the nature of your business at the hospital on Friday November the 9th 2007?" The solicitor paced before her. Watching him and his sanctimonious self-satisfied smirk made Jo sick.

Finally, through gritted teeth, she admitted, "I was attending an appointment at the Oncology department. I was there so long because I had to have numerous tests and a biopsy done on a tumour I recently discovered." Throughout her speech, Jo had locked her eyes on Sam's, imploring her to understand why she had chosen not to tell her. Truth be told, the brunette couldn't really understand why herself. The hurt in Sam's eyes was unbearable. It was the diminutive blonde who severed eye contact first, suddenly finding something in her lap intensely fascinating.

"If that's true, why so coy about your reasons for being at the hospital? That would seem to be a cast iron alibi, why would you not want to shout it from the rooftops?" Jo turned back to her tormentor, venom in her eyes and a steely determination in her voice.

"Because, you self-absorbed pathetic excuse for a human being, I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I hadn't told my colleagues or my best friend, who happens to be sitting in this room right now. I didn't want her to find out this way." The judge called for order, issuing a reprimand to Jo for her disrespectful attitude but taking it no further, informing her that her ordeal was over and she could step down.

"Does the prosecution have any further evidence to present to support its case against Mr Braxton?" The judge invited as Jo hurried from the room.

* * *

"Jo!" Sam called as she rushed after her friend, needing to speak to her, to hold her, to throttle her for not talking to her. "Jo, wait please! Don't shut me out again!" The plaintive tone in Sam's voice cut through Jo's internal mental war, slicing straight through to her core with the efficiency of a laser. She slowed her steps but still could not bring herself to turn around, to face the woman she had grown to love as a sister and whom she had hurt so very badly. "I thought we were friends." Sam stated, standing behind Jo, no more than ten yards from her back.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Jo's head was bowed, both women oblivious to the world around them. She willed her feet to move, to carry her far away from everything and everyone. She had never felt so exposed, so naked in her entire life. She was terrified of looking into Sam's eyes and seeing beyond the hurt, of seeing what she had become not just to Sam but to the world now: a victim to be pitied. Though she had lived with labels for the majority of her life, accepting a new one was never easy or comfortable and this was one she was determined that she would not succumb to. Her shoulders begun to shake as she faced the enormity of how her life was about to change, feeling surprisingly unselfconscious despite being in the middle of a busy London street as the tears coursed down her cheeks.

Sam folded her arms around Jo, enveloping her, wishing she could take away every ounce of pain and distress from the amazing woman she had been lucky enough to befriend. As she had listened to Jo's strained confession, Sam had fully understood the anguish Lucy must have been going through. She had obviously known what the diagnosis was and had been sworn to secrecy. She was unsurprised when her own tears sprung forth from her eyes, tracing similar paths down her cheeks to Jo's own.

* * *

Sam pulled up outside the station, looking across at Jo who had been silent during the short journey back Sun Hill.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you home? You've had a hell of a few days." The blonde DI reached across and squeezed one of Jo's hands where they lay listlessly in her lap.

"As much as I appreciate the offer Sam, I need to keep going. I need things to be as normal as they can be. I am a Taurus after all, I don't do change well!" Jo attempted to inject a little levity into the atmosphere, an emptiness having settled deep inside her, a void she feared would never be completely healed.

"Can we talk once the shift is over? You can come to me for dinner if you like?" Sam was determined to reach out every bit as far as Jo retreated, wanting nothing more than to help her friend through what was bound to be a difficult immediate future.

"I promised Lucy she could come over tonight." Seeing Sam's disappointment, Jo offered, "why don't you join us? I'm sure Lucy could use an ally against my stubbornness!" She conceded that she needed Sam's support every bit as much as her lover's. They had sat in Sam's car for a long while following their joint breakdown in the street, talking through the events of the last week. When Jo had finally plucked up the courage to look Sam in the eye, she had found none of the pity she expected. Instead she was almost overwhelmed by the immense love she saw reflected in her friend's gaze.

"I wouldn't want to intrude. I'm sure you two have a lot to discuss." Sam answered in response to the brunette's invitation.

"Nonsense, you'd never be intruding Sam, you know my door is always open for you." Jo insisted.

"This is slightly different though. I mean, this is something that you're both going to have to come to terms with, to explore what it means for you both. I don't want to end up being in the way of you figuring that out." Sam retrieved her hand, worrying at a tiny thread on the steering wheel cover. She felt a warm palm envelope her own as Jo pulled it back towards her.

"I'm going to need you both in on the plan of action if I'm going to beat this. Whilst I probably could do it alone, I'm realising that I'm lucky enough not to have to. I have two amazing women by my side helping me fight my corner." Both women exchanged a tender smile as Jo pulled Sam's hand towards her mouth and kissed the knuckles affectionately.

* * *

"DI Nixon, a word?" Inspector Gold motioned for Sam to follow her into her office as the DI and DC entered the station. Obediently, Sam trotted along in her wake leaving Jo to climb the stairs into the offices housing CID.

"What can I do for you Inspector?" Sam suspected that the grapevine had been busy as soon as she and Jo had fled the court.

"A little birdie told me that DC Masters gave quite the performance in court this morning. Thought you'd want to know the judge threw out the application for the charges against Braxton to be abandoned. I believe his exact words were 'your client will be exceedingly lucky if he sees the outside world again in his lifetime. Not only has he shown little regard for the justice system but he has shown contempt for the value of human life in his intimidation of the key witness in this case. Since his strong arm tactics directly resulted in her death, I strongly suggest the prosecution look to charge your client with murder on top of the existing charges brought against him. He might as well have tied that noose around Ms Lord's neck himself.'" Gina finished reading the notes she had scribbled on the notepad beside her phone. "Apparently, he was less than impressed with the defendant's solicitor too, sends his apologies to DC Masters and threatened him with contempt if he attempted such bullying again!"

"It didn't stop him from letting him badger Jo on the stand though did it?" Sam spat, recalling how excruciating it had been to watch Jo have her privacy destroyed as she was questioned.

"Can you let Jo know from me, if she ever needs to talk to someone who's been there, my door is always open?" Gina asked, knowing only too well how difficult it could be to juggle a career with treatment and trying to keep it under wraps.

"I'm sure she'll appreciate that offer, I'll let her know."


	8. Chapter 8

Jo walked into the CID office, acutely aware of the numerous sets of eyes focusing on her. The quiet conversations which were ever present seemed to cease, an oppressive hush descending and threatening to chase the brunette from the room. This was precisely why she had wanted to keep her news under wraps, the one reason she could see for not making her colleagues aware of her diagnosis. Always proud, Jo was distraught to think that she had now been reduced in the eyes of those around her to a walking tumour, that all her previous triumphs and achievements were for naught. She wondered how long it would be before any of them had the guts to approach her, how long the strained silence would remain and if her nerves would hold out or if she would find herself too reluctant to face this day after day throughout the battle ahead. She sunk into her chair, looking around at the papers, reports and documents strewn haphazardly across her desk, wanting nothing more than to sweep them all to the floor.

* * *

Sam climbed the stairs, a weariness having settled over her as she fought to digest Jo's revelation.

"Guv, we were just on our way to see you." PC's Green and Fletcher called after Sam's retreating back. She waited for them to join her at the top, an expectant expression on her face.

"There's been a report of a missing boy, Dawid Podowski, 3 years old, from a flat on the Canley Estate. He's been gone for six hours, the mother thought he was with his sister but she left him at home to go out with mates. He could have been in the house on his own for anything up to four hours. Tony and Reg are canvassing the neighbours now but, as ever, so far no one heard or saw anything." Will handed over the information they had collated so far to the DI.

"Thanks, I'll get someone on to it straight away." Sam flicked through the folder, her mind already racing with the possibilities. Will turned to leave, heading off back down the stairs but Sam became aware that Beth had remained. She looked up, one eyebrow raised in question.

"I think there's more that the mother's not saying, she seemed more cagey than distraught and her responses were a bit off when we were asking about Dawid. And she wouldn't let us near the daughter despite her being the last one to see him." Sam nodded as she listened, feeling as though the extra information wasn't the real reasoning behind the young PC's reluctance to leave. Beth's eyes kept flickering towards the door of the CID office as though something was on her mind.

"Thank you PC Green, I'll pass the information on and my officers will talk to the family." Sam brooked no further conversation, suspecting that the tiny girl's mind was buzzing with thoughts of Jo's news, which was spreading through the station like a wild-fire out of control.

* * *

Jo heard the doors swing open and Sam's distinctive footsteps stride into the room. She picked up on a slight falter in her step as though the eerie quietness had suddenly pricked the DI's subconscious.

"Jo, Mickey, Grace, I need you in the briefing room in five minutes." Sam's voice rang loud and clear in the silent office, resulting in a few murmured affirmations. Those few words seemed to temporarily break the spell, with hushed conversations resuming around the room. Sam strode forward, stopping beside the DC's work-laden desk, leaning close and speaking much more softly than previously. "Jo, can I have a word in my office first?" Jo looked up and nodded, rising from her chair and following her friend and boss.

Sam closed the door, indicating to the brunette that she should take a seat. Waiting until Jo had settled herself, Sam perched on the corner of her desk, facing the troubled woman.

"Is this going to be too difficult for you?" The blonde DI was genuinely concerned about the effect the entire station knowing her predicament would have on the vibrant woman seated before her.

"Which part; the cruel and unusual silence or everyone staring at me like I've suddenly grown a second head?" Jo grumbled, only partially in jest. "The more I run and hide, the longer it'll take to become yesterday's news. If I can show everyone that I'm carrying on as normal, that it's no big deal, hopefully they'll all soon tire and go back to treating me as they've always done." The brunette glanced over her shoulder at her colleagues in the main office. Without turning back to face her friend, she added, "thanks for checking though. Knowing you have my back means a lot and makes it that little bit more bearable."

"As long as you're sure. You know you won't get any preferential treatment from me because of it and if at any time you do feel like you're struggling, I expect you to speak to either me or DI Manson, or even DCI Meadows and let us know. No one will thank you for trying to be a hero and running yourself into the ground, you won't achieve results that way." Jo returned her gaze to her superior, eternally grateful to Sam for making it clear that as far as she was concerned, it was business as usual. "Inspector Gold asked me to inform you that if you ever want to talk to anyone, her door is always open. Bear it in mind Jo, she's had first hand experience of what you're going through and may well prove to be a valuable avenue of support. All I ask is that you think about it and don't dismiss it out of hand, you're exceptionally well thought of amongst you're colleagues and I'm sure they'll all want to do their bit to help you fight this."

"I know," the brunette conceded, "and you have my word that if I'm struggling, you'll be the first to know."

"Good. Well, that said, I'd like you to take the lead on this new case that I'm about to brief you on. I think you're best placed to handle it diplomatically." Sam slid the folder she had been handed towards the DC. "Dawid Podowski has been reported missing from his home on the Canley Estate by his mother, Miss Zofia Podowska. His 15 year old sister, Izabella, was meant to be looking after him but left him at home alone."

"She left a 3 year old boy on his own? What was she thinking?" Jo blurted out, wondering who in their right mind would do such a thing.

"Apparently, she was more interested in meeting her friends and getting drunk than in being a babysitter for her brother. The mother was out at work and wasn't too concerned when she found the house empty on her return. It was only when her daughter got home without Dawid that she realised he was missing. There were no signs of forced entry so we're looking for someone with access to a key. So far none of the neighbours have come forward with any information of seeing anyone enter the flat between the daughter leaving and the mother returning."

"On that estate, why does that not surprise me?" Jo griped, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Shall we continue this in the briefing room while you fill the others in too?" She suggested, happy to sit with Sam in her office but feeling it unnecessary for the DI to go through the details twice. Sam agreed, rising from her perch and crossing to the door, holding it open for the tall brunette and following her as Grace and Mickey also rose from their desks to join them for the briefing.

* * *

Sam passed photocopies of the young boy's description round to each of the detectives, outlining the case and the facts as they were known thus far.

"Podowski, what's that then? Russian, Bulgarian, Romanian?" Mickey asked, wondering what minefield they were going to be dealing with.

"It's Polish, not that that means it has any bearing on the case." Jo commented.

"I didn't say it did, just wondered that's all." Mickey snapped back.

"Jo, Grace, I'd like you to talk to the mother, see if she can tell you anything else. Beth seemed to think she was holding something back. See if she'll let you talk to Izabella too, she wouldn't let uniform anywhere near her but we need to know what she knows, even if it's nothing at all." Sam steered the conversation back onto the case at hand, mentally chastising Mickey for showing his discomfort around Jo in such an obvious and brutal manner.

"What about the boy's father? Do we know where he is? Who he is?" Grace spoke up, wondering if this information was floating around somewhere but had not made it into the paperwork.

"Nothing's been mentioned as far as I'm aware. Obviously, if he is still on the scene but not living with the family, we need to pay him a visit, make sure this isn't a father snatching his child from what he deems an unsuitable home." Sam responded, grateful for the DC's usual business-like manner. "Mickey, I want you to do some digging, discretely, with Immigration. We need to know if these people are here legitimately or if there's someone they paid to bring them here who might be holding the son hostage as collateral. Find out as much about them as you can, phone records, talk to teachers at Izabella's school. I'll go and speak to Miss Podowska's colleagues, see what they can tell us about her and the family." Sam watched Mickey's eyes flicker to Jo, his doubt shining there for anyone to see if they took the trouble to return his gaze.

"Guv, why don't you let me and Grace handle the family? Don't you think Jo would be better doing the desk work? You know, not over exerting herself." Mickey realised he had spoken out of turn as soon as Sam heard the question, her face turning to stone and her stare cold and hard.

"Thanks for thinking of me Mickey, but really, I'm fine. I'd rather just get on with it as normal." Jo stepped in, swallowing down the humiliation at having her ability questioned so openly in front of Grace.

"No offence Jo, but none of us know how this is going to hit you. There's a little boy missing out there who's life may depend on us doing our job to the best of our ability. Now isn't the time to be gambling on the hope that you'll be ok or 100 focused on the investigation." Mickey pled his case further, willing them to understand that he was only arguing out of concern for both Jo's and Dawid's welfare.

"DC Webb, last time I checked it was my decision as to who ran a case, not yours. I have every confidence in Jo's abilities and in her decision making. If you have such a problem with taking her lead, maybe I should replace you with an officer who does not hold such reservations." Sam's tone was icy as she addressed Mickey, knowing she should have done so alone and technically not in front of his colleagues, but felt justified since he had shown no such compassion for Jo. "DC Masters is the officer in charge of this investigation and until such a time that she informs me she no longer feels able to run the case, she will remain in charge. Is that going to be a problem for you DC Webb?"

"No Guv," Mickey thought about trying to re-state his concerns but thought better of it.

"Then I expect you to do as you are asked, by myself or by DC Masters, at all times, without question, and you are to report your findings to Jo direct. DC Masters has the backing of myself and the rest of the management team, we have every faith in her so I expect her colleagues to trust our judgement. Do I make myself clear?" Sam pressed, sensing that unless she left no room for negotiation, Mickey would be running straight to DCI Meadows office. Mickey nodded sullenly as Grace and Jo shifted uncomfortably in their seats, neither woman at ease with being privy to the blonde man's dressing down. "Good, then I believe you all have places to be and people to be talking to. I'll be on the mobile if you find anything out and I'll be in touch to let you know what I can get out of Miss Podowska's colleagues."

* * *

 "Miss Podowska, I'm Detective Constable Jo Masters, this is DC Grace Dasari from Sun Hill. We'd like to ask you and your daughter a few questions about Dawid." Jo flashed her badge at the timid young woman who answered the door to the flat. Looking at her, Jo surmised that she could only be in her late twenties herself, which would mean that either the older child was not hers or that she was conceived very young.

"You are not what I expect from a detective." The woman murmured as she let the two officers in through the door into a tiny dingy flat, strewn with children's toys and clothing. "I thought you would be man."

"Would you prefer a man to talk to you?" Jo asked wanting to put the distressed mother at ease, knowing it would make it easier to get information from her.

"No!" The answer was immediate and emphatic. "I prefer talk to you." Zofia cleared a space on the sofa large enough for the two detectives to take a seat.

"We need to ask some more questions about Dawid, any information you can give us might help to find him, no matter how insignificant it might seem." Grace explained, speaking for the first time since entering the home. Zofia looked to be struggling to understand, her face contorted with confusion and grief.

"Anything you can tell us about Dawid could help us find him, Miss Podowska, anything at all, even little things like where he likes going out, what he likes to eat." Jo reiterated in slightly plainer terms, not wanting to patronise the woman but needing her to understand what was being asked of her.

"He likes the park, with the birds, he give them bread sometimes." Zofia stated, wracking her brain to think of everything she could tell the police about her son.

"Does he know how to get to the park from here?" Jo asked, wondering if he could have somehow let himself out of the flat.

"I don't know, he is so small, he always go with me or Izzy." Zofia replied. Jo nodded at Grace who stepped outside into the hallway to call the station.

"My colleague is going to ask some officers to take a look at the park, make sure Dawid isn't there with the ducks." Jo paused checking that Zofia was following her before asking, "is Dawid's father here? Could he have picked Dawid up?"

"Niko, my husband, was killed in Poland. He worked there for the government, seeking evil men and women who steal children. There was an explosion at a house Niko was sent to watch. He tried to help the people inside. His body was found when the fire was out, in a bedroom holding a small child." Zofia crossed to a battered old dresser, picking up a framed photograph of a handsome young man holding a squirming toddler in his arms. "This was taken many years ago, when Izzy was Dawid's age now."

"Do you know anything about the people Niko was watching? Did he talk to you about his work?" Jo asked studying the photograph, wondering if it was possible it was just a coincidence that Niko's line of work pertained to missing children.

"He never spoke of details, just little of what he did. The men who brought us here know of his work, they are high in government in Poland." Zofia informed the detective, taking the picture back and replacing it tenderly on the cabinet.

"How long have you been in England Miss Podowska?" Grace asked re-entering the room, having overheard much of what had been discussed.

"Call me Zofia please. We came here six months ago, it was all legal by my country's government." The young mother bristled, obviously used to people assuming she had entered the country illegally.

"No one is suggesting you're hear illegally Zofia. We're just trying to get a picture of how long someone could have known you were here for, how long ago someone might have seen Dawid." Jo attempted to placate the woman, steering her towards another seat, the constant pacing making her a little nauseous.

"You think someone watched us? Is it the men Niko was watching?" Zofia voiced fears which had obviously been in her head since her son had gone missing.

"At this stage, we don't know. Dawid might just have got scared in the house on his own and got out to try and find you or Izabella. We will need to speak to your daughter too. We need to know if she saw anyone when she left the house, if she told anyone that Dawid was on his own." Grace informed the woman, watching as Jo fished her ringing mobile out of her pocket. Excusing herself from the room, Jo left the flat to answer the call.

"Jo, it's Sam. Have you found anything out from the mother yet?" Jo filled Sam in on the conversation they had had so far with Zofia. "Can you prepare her to take a look at something uniform found in the park? It's a young boy's trainer, found by the pond. Jo, there's blood on it."


	9. Chapter 9

**_Many thanks to those of you who continually take the time to read and those of you who are kind enough to review. I'm finding free time is a very limited commodity at the minute but am very much trying to balance work and writing so I'll do my damnedest to keep updating fairly regularly. But if it does lapse a bit, fear not, I've not been abducted by aliens or anything, I'm just working my butt off (I hate financial year end!). _**

**_As always, however you feel about what you read below, please do drop me a review and let me know, I always enjoy getting the feedback. Thanks in advance!_**

**_And no, I don't own them, apart from the likes of the Podowski family and Lucy. Everyone else is just on loan from Talkback Thames and Fremantle Media Ltd. I make no profit, I just give the characters something to do in between episodes of The Bill airing!_**

* * *

Jo watched as Crime Scene Examiner Lorna Hart went through the flat collecting samples and anything that might prove useful in

Jo watched as Crime Scene Examiner Lorna Hart went through the flat collecting samples and anything that might prove useful in locating the whereabouts of the young missing boy. Zofia and Izabella had been moved to a new house by attaché's with the Polish Embassy. They suspected that Dawid's disappearance could very well be linked with Niko's investigation which was still ongoing despite the man's death.

"I hope we've got enough here to do a comparison with the blood found on the trainer in the park, I've got a hairbrush and his toothbrush." The lithe Scot informed the detective. "There's nothing more you can do here for the time being Jo, why don't you get yourself back to the station and see what's what there?" Lorna attempted to steer the younger woman out of the flat.

"So you've heard too have you? News sure does travel fast." Jo snapped, tired from the day's exertions, her nerves raw and on edge.

"Heard what?" The CSE replied, confused by Jo's defensive attitude. They had always got on so well with any previous investigation, she was unsure what she had done to provoke the outburst.

"You mean you really don't know? Does gossip not reach you lot in the labs then?" Jo thought if that were true, she might be inclined to ask Sam for a transfer!

"Jo, I have no idea what you're talking about but I sincerely hope you're going to clue me in so I know if it's safe to put my head back on my shoulders!" Lorna admonished gently, leading Jo to a quiet corner of the flat, away from prying ears and eyes.

"Don't be surprised if you hear things about me when you come to the station. They all found out this morning that I've…" Jo faltered, her tongue tripping over the words.

"You've been promoted? Applied for a transfer? Resigned? Been abducted by aliens?" Lorna was gratified to see a small smile raised by her last suggestion. "What is it Jo? What's eating you?"

"Cancer. I've got cancer." As those three words left her mouth, it was as though the realisation of what it meant hit home full force for the first time. She felt her knees threaten to buckle and was mentally screaming at herself for being weak.

Lorna watched the colour drain from Jo's face, feeling her own follow suit. Her expression registered her shock but it was soon replaced by sincere concern as she watched Jo sway unsteadily. The CSE grabbed a nearby chair and steered Jo into it, fearing she would end up on the floor in a heap if she didn't sit down immediately. "Jo, I'm so sorry, I honestly had no idea. When did you find out?"

"For certain? Monday. I found a lump last week, had tests done and the rest as they say is history."

"And you told everyone today? That was very brave." The Scot assumed it had been Jo's choice to let everyone know.

"I had no choice. I testified in a case this morning and the defence was badgering me about why I'd been at the hospital. He gave me no option. Once the words were out, they took on a life of their own and it's now common knowledge at the station." Jo looked up at Lorna, her eyes imploring the CSE to accept her apology, "I'm sorry I snapped at you but since they found out most people are treating me like I'm incapable of doing my job. I didn't want that from you or anyone else."

"And you won't get it. If your bosses think you're fit to do your job, that's good enough for me. But if you need anyone to talk to, someone who is a little less directly involved, feel free to give me a call any time." Lorna reached for a pen and scribbled her telephone numbers down on a spare scrap of paper from her kit bag before handing them to the stricken brunette. Jo thanked her colleague before excusing herself and heading back to the station to report what little they had found to Sam.

* * *

"Jo you've been here for hours, why don't you get yourself off home? I'm sure Lucy would love to spend some time with you, you did promise her dinner tonight after all." Sam murmured quietly to her friend who was beginning to look as pale as a ghost, her eyes slowly sinking into her head with fatigue. The brunette's head shot up, thinking it was another insinuation that her condition meant she couldn't last the distance, until she spied the clock on the wall behind Sam's head.

"Is it really that time?" Her voice betrayed her incredulity. "Sam, I can't go home whilst that little boy is out there with heaven knows who. Tired as I am and as much as I would love to just curl up in Lucy's arms, I wouldn't be able to, not until I find something to go on with finding Dawid."

"You know as well as I do that the key to good leadership is delegation and maintaining your sharpness so you don't overlook the small seemingly insignificant things. If you're out on your feet, you'll be no good to Dawid or anyone else. Let the night shift take a look over everything you've got, maybe one of them will be able to come up with something by the time you get back. Go on, get yourself off home and I don't want to see you back here before 9am." Seeing the sceptical look on the DC's face, Sam reiterated, "I mean it Jo, you've been here for sixteen hours solid today. Even on a normal day, that's far too long but with the stress of testifying earlier on top of that, I don't know how you're still upright."

"Says you! You've been here just as long as I have." Jo retorted, still slightly aggrieved at Sam's insistence she should leave.

"I have and I've just called a taxi to take me home because I can't see straight any more let alone think about driving. I still want to talk to you about what your diagnosis means and what I can do to help and support you but tonight I'm afraid I have a crushing need to sleep the sleep of the dead! Can we take a raincheque and as soon as Dawid is found and this case wrapped up, we'll get together?" Jo looked more closely at her friend, realising just how shattered she appeared to be.

"You know you're welcome to come round any time you want to, you don't have to ask. You don't have to get a taxi either Sam, I'll drive you home." Jo began to pack away what she could, shuffling the contents of the folder she had been scouring back into its sleeve.

"No you won't but you're welcome to share my taxi. We're both too tired to be behind the wheel. Come on, let's go brief the DS."

* * *

"Hey you, I've run you a nice hot bath. I thought it might help you switch off a bit." Lucy stood on tiptoes to place a tender peck on Jo's cheek as she walked into the lounge stifling a yawn.

Jo pulled the smaller woman into a warm embrace, relishing the feel of her in her arms. "You're too good to me, you know that?" The brunette caressed her lover's body affectionately, feel some of the day's tensions drain out of her. "Join me in that bath?" It was the first time Jo had invited Lucy to see her body since coming out of hospital, having preferred to stay hidden beneath clothes, changing in the privacy of the bathroom whenever the young woman had spent the night at her humble home.

"I'd love to." Lucy took Jo's hand and led her towards the stairs.

Jo allowed herself to be guided into the bathroom, feeling a giddiness wash over her as she caught sight of her lovers efforts to create a serene and calming environment. Candles flickered benignly in glass votives, casting a soft light over the room; a small heater hummed quietly keeping the room at a comfortable temperature. "This is amazing sweetheart! What did I ever do to deserve you?" Lucy's only answer was to pull the brunette close for a smouldering kiss. With Jo pleasantly distracted, the younger woman let her fingers dance across the buttons of Jo's shirt, popping each one deftly from its hole. As the marginally cooler air whispered over the newly exposed skin of her stomach, Jo tensed almost imperceptibly.

"Trust me Jo. Trust me not to hurt you, not to turn away from you and not to push you farther or faster than you're ready to go." Lucy breathed as she pulled back to hold her lover's gaze, chocolate eyes imploring Jo to let her close. With a tiny nod, the tall brunette shrugged out of the cotton blouse, letting it fall to the floor. Lucy's breathing hitched and tears sprung unbidden to her eyes as she caught a glimpse of the bruising and discolouration spreading from the site of the other woman's biopsy. She tentatively reached around her lover, who was frozen to the spot by her fear of rejection, unclasping the simple plain cotton bra. Jo closed her eyes, unwilling to witness the disgust she was sure she'd see all over Lucy's face. She flinched ever so slightly as warm soft hands brushed the bra down her arms and away from her body. Without pause, supple lips were tenderly pressed against the very top of Jo's massacred breast, and the brunette found herself unable to prevent a single tear trickle from her tightly shut eyes. She sucked in a surprised breath, making Lucy hurriedly apologise, fearing she had inadvertently hurt the woman she cared for so deeply in her efforts to prove to her that she was still beautiful and desirable.

"You didn't hurt me baby, I just couldn't imagine you wanting to… do anything." Jo tearfully explained, the fatigue and tension dragging her into the doldrums.

"Look at me, Jo." Lucy waited patiently, mentally imploring the auburn-haired beauty to do as she was bid. Seeing that her lover was reluctant to oblige, Lucy gently guided her face to her own with one fingertip, ducking her head determined to find and hold Jo's gaze. "Please sweetheart, look into my eyes so you can see for yourself the truth in what I'm about to tell you." There was a pause again as Jo finally raised her gaze, settling it on her partner's expressive brown orbs. "I don't love you for the packaging you come in, I love you for what's inside your heart and your head. I can't say that I'm not scared; I worry all the time that I'll hurt you or do something you don't like but that's nothing to do with your illness. You mean so much to me Jo that I'd be devastated if I did anything to cause your harm or distress. No matter what happens from hereon in, in my eyes you will never be any less beautiful than you were the first time I met you." Tears coursed down both their cheeks as they stood with foreheads touching and hands clasped beside them, locked into a continued wordless exchange of love. A few moments later, Lucy raised her head, inviting Jo to finish undressing and climb into the bath before it went cold.

"Sweetheart, the water's not very warm any more so why don't we move this to a more comfortable place, like bed?" Lucy murmured, in some ways reluctant to dispel the serene cocoon surrounding their bathroom idyll.

"Hmmm, sounds like a good idea to me." Jo mumbled, her head still resting against Lucy's shoulder where they lay entwined in the tub. The younger woman prodded her waking Jo fully from her funk, pointing out that to do so would mean the brunette actually having to move. Both women laughed a little at Jo's grumbling agreement as she grudgingly stirred herself into action. The younger woman rose from her prone position where she had been immersed beneath both the bath water and her lover, having been cradling Jo in her arms for the better part of an hour. Stepping from the bath, she felt Jo wrap her in a warm fluffy towel, gently assisting her with drying off. Still wrapped only in the towels, both women padded through to the generously sized bedroom, pausing only briefly to let the bath water out and extinguish the candles. Jo spied the freshly made bed, clean crisp cotton sheets not the same ones she remembered crawling out of so many hours earlier. With a contented sigh, she turned to the woman who was making her nightmarish day recede rapidly and placed a tender kiss on her temple.

"What was that in aid of?" Lucy asked, not minding in the least as she reached out to embrace her partner.

"For being my salvation." Jo answered sincerely, relaxing into the circle of the more petite woman's arms. "They all found out today, at work, about my results and everything. This was just what I needed, even if I didn't realise it until you gave it to me. Thank you for tonight darling." The reality of all that had happened during the long day threatened to crowd in on Jo once more, so much seeming to unfold in such a relatively short space of time.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? What happened? Were they ok with you?" Lucy questioned, studying Jo's face intently. Then a thought struck her, "I didn't tell anyone I swear, not even Sam. I'm not doing all this out of some guilt trip for letting it slip…" Jo silenced her desperate insistence with a heated kiss.

"I know you didn't, I did." Those few words took the remaining wind out of Lucy's sails, her stunned expression would have been amusing had they not been discussing something so serious. Subconsciously, she shivered slightly as the night air cooled on her exposed flesh. Seeing the tiny involuntary movement, Jo guided her towards the bed, swiftly tossing the covers aside and detaching the towel from its resting place around Lucy's body. She took a breath before shedding her own towel, still hyperaware of her less than perfect appearance, before sliding beneath the covers to join her awaiting lover who was finally coming round from the silence she had been stunned into.

"That was… you must have… wow, why?" Lucy seemed to be struggling with the concept of Jo announcing her problems to the whole of Sun Hill, that much evident from her stuttered speech.

"It wasn't exactly by choice love." As the two women settled in a comfortable embrace, fitting together as though divined by fate to be at one another's side, Jo began to fill Lucy in on the events of the day and how it had come to be common knowledge about her diagnosis.

"Are you ok with them knowing? I mean in some ways it might be a good thing but it sounds like it might take some of them a while to come round. I can't believe Mickey would question you like that in front of Sam and Grace, who does he think he is?" Lucy felt herself growing angry at the slight on the woman she adored.

"It doesn't matter, Sam didn't let him get away with it and Grace has been brilliant. She's not treated me any different than she normally does. I have Sam's backing and I've also had offers from Inspector Gold and Lorna, the Crime Scene Examiner, of people to talk to if I need to. In some ways, it's actually made me realise there are more people I can rely on than I expected. Don't get me wrong, if I could change it I would, I'd be the one to tell Sam, face to face properly, not in a crowded court room surrounded by the world and his dog. But then if I could change the past, I'd go back and change the diagnosis and there's no point in dwelling on things I can't alter." Jo snuggled closer to her girlfriend, laying her head in the crook of her shoulder and draping a protective arm across her midriff.

"I'm sorry you couldn't be the one to choose how and when people found out sweetheart but at least it's out there now and not hanging over you as something to be faced, to be dealt with." Lucy turned her head and placed a sweet kiss into Jo's auburn locks, hearing the older woman stifle another yawn. "Now, off to club duvet with you, Miss Masters and no arguments." Lucy heard a soft murmur as she lay beside her lover, softly stroking her silky hair, lulling the woman into a deep sleep. Only then did she let her own tears come, her fears for the future unfold in her mind and her terror at the battle ahead consume her. Silently, she wept, praying to any divine being that cared to listen that she would not lose the most precious thing in her life because of this cruel disease.

* * *

"Morning Jo, you're looking better than when you crawled out of here last night!" Sam greeted her friend and colleague warmly with a steaming mug of coffee.

"Lucy was incredible, had a bath ready for me and then ordered me straight to sleep!" Jo grinned seeing a slight blush starting to develop on Sam's cheeks as she spoke, gently teasing the tiny blonde for having a dirty mind. "When you've finished grovelling in that gutter DI Nixon…"

"Oh come on Jo, surely you remember what it's like when those around you are in love and you're not getting any!!" Sam responded good-naturedly taking the ribbing on the chin.

"What you need is a damn good night out, you'll soon see the heads turning and all eyes focusing on you." Jo was used to complimenting Sam and thought nothing of it, even as Sam's blush grew more vivid.

"I think you're mistaking me for someone else. Besides, I don't want a one night stand, I want something that's going to last the distance, like you and Lucy seem to have." Sam uttered wistfully.

"In that case, get down to your nearest travel agents since that's where I pulled Luce! Went in to book a holiday for one and came out with a phone number and a dinner reservation." Jo grinned recalling the first time she had met the young exotic looking woman who had captivated and mesmerised her with her brooding good looks and enthusiasm for the more unexplored rural regions of Italy.

"Ok, that's it, who are you and what have you done with the real DC Masters? The Jo I know is never this perky at just gone 9 in the morning. It usually takes you until at least 11 o'clock and four cups of coffee before you even vaguely resembling human!" Sam teased back, grateful to see the spark back in Jo's eyes, a vibrancy which had been understandably dulled during recent times.

"Let's just say I had a very pleasant alarm call this morning." It was Jo's turn to blush as she mentally reminisced about her antics with Lucy a few hours earlier.

"And on that note, I'm going before I need a cold shower and start considering ravishing Stuart again!" Sam laughed, adding as she turned to leave, "it's good to see you smile again Jo, I was beginning to worry you'd forgotten how." She winked and headed into her office, leaving Jo to pick up from the night shift, sifting through all the information surrounding the missing young boy. She flicked through a few notes which had been left for her, tossing a couple aside for attention later, before her eyes settled on one written all in capitals, demanding her immediate attention. She sat down at her computer, logging on and tapping her pen impatiently whilst waiting for it to load up her profile. Once the machine was ready, she navigated to the internet, following the link laid out on the note she had found, her blood freezing in her veins at the images which filled the screen.

"Guv, you really need to see this," she hollered, heedless of the numerous murderous looks she received from colleagues who were not yet fully awake and alert.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Well, it took me longer to hammer this one out than I had hoped - I can only hope it's worth the wait! This chapter is a bit more case-centred and with that comes a slight warning. It does contain some non-graphic references to child abuse so if that offends you or disturbs you, I apologise and promise that it is all handled in the most responsible fashion and necessary to where I see this story going._**

**_As always, many thanks to all of you who have taken the time to leave feedback. It's always good to know if you're hitting the mark or need to improve on anything. So however you feel about this chapter, please feel free to let me know, I'd love to hear from you._**

**_Oh and I've made references to CRB checks in this chapter - for anyone who doesn't know what they are, it stands for Criminal Records Bureau and they are applied as pre-employment tools for anyone working with vulnerable people or where a criminal record may preclude employment. It's supposed to stop people who shouldn't be in certain jobs from being able to get into them!_**

**_I'm going to go write some more now so I really do hope it won't be quite so long in between updates next time! Thanks for sticking with it._**

* * *

"Grace get over to CEOPS, see if they've got anything on this website already. If not, encourage them to make full use of their resources to find out what you can. You've worked with them before, you should get their full cooperation I hope. Call me as soon as you know anything." Sam instructed urgently. "Jo, I need you to get the guys to pull off a screen print of that guys face, you can just about make out his reflection, see if they can enhance it and make the image clearer. Show it, as gently as you can to the mother, see if she recognises him at all. The Polish embassy should be able to tell you where she is. I'll distribute any picture we can get to uniform too, get them to do a sweep of the neighbours and see if anyone recalls seeing him hanging around the flat."

"I should have stayed. I shouldn't have left when I did last night, we could already have done the leg work by now and could be that much closer to finding where Dawid is. We need to stop them before they do any more broadcasts, _I _need to. Look at the time stamp on these pictures, Sam. Eight hours ago, this little boy was being treated like a cheap sex toy. No one should have to go through that, not a single living person." Jo berated herself as the other officers moved off to begin their day's work.

"You weren't to know that this would turn up, none of us were Jo. And there's no guarantee you'd have come across it the state you were in by the time you left. There's no point beating yourself up over what might and might not have been. Let's concentrate on putting 110 into finding Dawid today rather than dwelling on the past. The sooner we can find him, the sooner his ordeal will end, but running yourself into the ground isn't going to make that happen any quicker." Sam coaxed gently, urging the detective towards the door. Jo grabbed her jacket, slinging it casually over her shoulder as she strode out of the door purposefully without another word.

* * *

"Miss Podowska, I'm DC Masters, we met yesterday." Jo introduced herself as the missing boy's mother looked up from the sofa in the lounge of their new 'safe' house.

"I remember, you were kind. Have you found my Dawid?" The hope in the woman's eyes broke Jo's heart, even more so knowing that with every passing hour, that light, that hope would fade along with the child's chances of survival.

"I'm afraid we haven't, not yet. But I do have a photograph of someone we believe knows where Dawid is. I'd like to show it to you, see if you recognise him. Would that be ok?" Jo spoke clearly, wanting the distraught woman to understand her, not wishing to make the ordeal any more taxing for her.

"Of course I will look. I want to help find my son in any way if I can." Jo brought out the picture from the manilla folder she had tucked under her arm, holding it out to Zofia.

"Do you think you've seen this man before?" Jo asked as Zofia studied the grainy photograph intently.

"Yes, I know him. Where did I see him?" The pause as Dawid's mother wracked her brain seemed to stretch on for an eternity. "I think he is at Izzy's school. He copies pages from books for classes. Why would he have Dawid? He has his own family. We met them at a sports day last year, two little girls, I think they were four at the time." Izzy wandered into the lounge, her eyes bearing the same haunted sleepless look as her mother's, a look which Jo knew would take many years to leave her along with the guilt at having left Dawid alone.

"Izzy, do you recognise this man?" Jo watched the girl's reaction closely as she glanced at the picture brandished by her mother.

"That's Mr Kirk, he works in the reprographics department at my school. Has something happened to him too?"

"We just want to talk to him, he might be able to give us some idea of where Dawid is." Jo explained.

"He's a nice man, always talks to me and asks after Mama and Dawid, ever since last year at sports day. His little girl has been sick recently, she had to go away to a hospital in another part of the country. Mr Kirk was very sad because he couldn't see her." Izzy supplied. After getting some more details about the school, Jo thanked them both and prepared to leave. She pulled her mobile phone out of her pocket as she climbed back into her car and dialled the station.

"DI Nixon."

"Sam, it's me. I've just left Miss Podowska's house. The guy in the room with Dawid works at Izzy's school. I'm going to head over there and see if I can get an address for him. His name's Mr Kirk, don't have a first name as yet, but I'll see what the Head Teacher can tell me about him. Can you let Mickey know he needn't go to the school?"

"Ok, let me know if you need anything or if you get any further information. And Jo, call before you go round to his house, you'll need backup." Sam asserted, hoping that for once, her DC would listen to reason and obey her authority.

"I know my job Sam, trust me to do it." Jo replied, not reassuring Sam in the slightest as to her intentions once the brunette knew the home address of her chief suspect.

"Don't give me a reason not to and I'll trust you to do your job." Sam responded making it perfectly clear to the detective that she meant business, that this was not one of those occasions where her superior would let it slide.

"I know Sam, we have to play it by the book to get the result everyone wants to see." The pair disconnected their call, both anxious in their own heads about the course of events which could easily transpire. Sam was concerned that Jo, in her eagerness to prove she was capable, would overstretch herself and misjudge the situation. Jo was apprehensive that she would get so caught up in wanting to find the missing boy that she would resort to any means necessary to get the information about his whereabouts.

* * *

"DI Nixon, Beth here has been talking to some of the neighbours about this photograph." Gina turned to WPC Green as Sam halted in front of them, "tell DI Nixon what you just told me."

"There's quite a few people who remember seeing this man coming to the house over the last couple of months, always when the mother's at work apparently. Whenever he arrives, there's always loud music playing for a couple of hours and then it stops and he leaves again. Some of them thought it strange that a man of his age should be alone in a house with a 15 year old, none of them thought about Dawid being the one at risk from him." Beth reeled off the details which had been grudgingly imparted to her during her trawl around the estate. Not many people had been keen to talk to her at first but once she found the local busy body, she had more than enough information about the goings-on on the estate to keep her head spinning for days.

"Thank you, Beth, good work. I think it's time I had a little chat with Izzy, without her mum present, see if she will be more forthcoming about Mr Kirk's visitations." Sam moved off towards CID, slipping her mobile from her pocket and hitting the speed dial she had assigned Jo's number to.

* * *

"I appreciate that you're loathe to give out any confidential information about employees or students without a warrant but time really is of the essence here, Mr James. A young boy is missing, the brother of one of your students, and the only lead we have so far is this picture which has been identified as being a Mr Kirk who works here. Right now, we need to speak to him to find out what involvement, if any, he has had in this child's disappearance." Jo spoke passionately, appealing to the man's compassion.

"We screen our staff very carefully. Every person who sets foot through those doors and has any contact with our students, no matter how minimal, is subject to an Enhanced CRB check. I can assure you that no one who works here would do anything to endanger the welfare of any child." Mr James insisted, attempting to steer Jo out of the office and away from the ears of his administrative staff.

"All a CRB check shows is convictions, not behaviour, not predilections, nothing that has not been prosecuted. And whilst it is the best we can hope for at present, it is unfortunately not infallible, as I'm sure you are aware. Nobody will think that it is any reflection on you, your school or your screening policy if Mr Kirk is found to have any involvement in this case." Jo pleaded.

"You might believe that DC Masters but unfortunately, I don't. History has taught me to be sceptical I'm afraid so if you wish to view the records of my staff, you will have to come back with something to compel me to show them to you. I am sorry I can't help you at this time but I would have an outcry on my hands from my entire staff body if I showed their personal files off to any Tom, Dick or Harry who came in requesting to see them." Mr James spoke with an air of finality which left Jo in no doubt that she would not be getting any assistance from this quarter.

"I'll be seeing you very shortly then, Mr James." Jo made to leave and was surprised when the head teacher extended his hand to shake hers. She took the proffered hand and was even more astonished to find a crumpled slip of paper sliding into her palm.

As she walked out of the school building, Jo reached for her mobile as it buzzed against her side.

"DC Masters," she answered absently, not having bothered to check the caller display.

"Jo, it's Sam. How did you get on at the school?"

"I've just left there now, Mr James wouldn't let me look at the file without a warrant but he did slip me something on a piece of paper as I was leaving." Jo unravelled the scrap of paper as she spoke, looking at the digits written on it. "I think he gave me Kirk's CRB reference number. He made a big song and dance about getting everyone CRB checked just before I left." Jo read the reference out to Sam over the phone so that staff back at the station could be chasing it up before she made her way back.

"That's something at least. I'll get on to DCI Meadows about the warrant for Kirk's personnel file. Before you head back, could you go and pick Izzy Podowska up and bring her back to the station? We've reason to believe that she's not telling us everything about her relationship with Kirk. Witnesses have seen him visiting the house regularly over the past few months when the mother's out." Sam informed her officer of the latest developments.

"I'll bring her in. What should I tell the mother?" Jo asked, wondering how to separate the two, Zofia having become increasingly protective of her daughter in the past 24 hours.

"Tell her that because he worked at her school, she might know more than she realises that could help us find where he is."

* * *

"DC Masters, back already. You have news?" Zofia rose from the sofa, wringing her hands in front of her, face a mask of hope and concern once again.

"I'm afraid not, we are getting the address for Mr Kirk as we speak. I just need to ask Izzy to come to the station with me for a little while, my boss wants to ask her some more questions about Mr Kirk. There might be things she can tell us that will help us to find him, things that they've talked about and she doesn't think are important." Jo did her best to reassure the mother, without revealing the real reasons for the need for her questioning, or the importance of it.

"I will get my coat. We will come with you now, yes?" Zofia strode into the hallway of the house, calling for her daughter to come downstairs.

"Miss Podowska, we would like to talk to Izzy on her own. There might be things she has to tell us that she can't talk about in front of you, things that she might be uncomfortable telling us if you're in the room." Jo broached the subject as carefully as she could.

"I will be at the police station for Izzy, she is not used to being there, it will frighten her. You ask your questions without me, but I need to be there for my girl." Zofia adopted a defiant glare as she wrapped her daughter in her arms.

"What is it Mama? What questions?" Izzy asked, her face losing it's colour.

"My boss would just like to ask you some more questions about Mr Kirk, if that's alright with you? Anything you can tell us about him might help us to find Dawid." After a few moments of deliberation, the teenager nodded apprehensively and Jo was able to usher them out of the door.

* * *

"DC Masters, a word?" Gina Gold called from the doorway of her office as Jo bustled through the station on her way from leaving Sam to interview Izzy, the strain of the case plainly showing on her attractive face.

"Ma'am?" Jo hovered in the corridor.

"Come in, shut the door," the Inspector ordered. The brunette obediently obliged, a slight frown creasing her smooth brow. "Don't look so scared, I'm not about to eat you!" Gina wisecracked, secretly loving how her reputation made even the most robust officer tremble in her presence.

"What can I do for you Inspector Gold?" Jo questioned.

"You can take a seat for a start, you look like you're fit to drop. And don't give me any of that macho bull about being fine, you're talking to an expert bullshit detector." Jo couldn't help but let a wry grin spread across her face as she sank gratefully into the chair on the opposite side of the desk from her superior officer. "Now, I'm sure DI Nixon has already told you but I'm telling you myself. My door is always open, no matter what, no matter when. Don't make the same mistakes I did Jo and try to soldier on by yourself. There's a lot of good people in this station who will do anything to help you, if you only dare let them know you'll accept it."

"Thank you Ma'am, I was hoping to get chance to say thanks in person but I've been caught up with this missing child case…" Gina cut Jo off with a nod, not being one for mushy sentimental conversations.

"So long as you know. And don't take any notice of the cretins who treat you differently. You get any problems for them, just tell them from me I've got an available post in uniform for them if they'd care to take it! Right, now that I've convinced myself you know where my office is, I'll be getting on. Off you trot, go find that missing kiddie and bring him home to his mother." Gina brusquely but warmly dismissed her colleague, the twinkle in her eye softening the tough words.

* * *

"Izzy… is it alright that I call you Izzy?" Sam begun, trying to break down the walls the young girl had built up and establish some sort of rapport with her. At the tentative nod, the DI continued, "how well would you say you knew Mr Kirk?"

"Well enough I guess. We always say hi in the corridor, if I take anything for photocopying, he'll chat to me for a little while about Mama and Dawid." Izzy responded, her eyes flicking around the room.

"Have you ever spent time with Mr Kirk outside school?" Sam pushed, knowing the answer but wanting to see how open the teenager would be about her involvement with the man suspected of abducting her younger brother.

"Once or twice I saw him in the street when I was shopping with Mama."

"So Mr Kirk never came to your house?" Sam pressed.

Izzy shook her head, though the movement of her eyes became more erratic as she twisted a lock of her hair around her finger constantly.

"How can you explain your neighbours seeing him come to your house on a number of occasions when your mum was at work?" Sam asked gently, careful to keep her tone interested rather than accusatory.

"I can't. They must be confused." Izzy insisted, tears forming in her eyes.

"Do you have a boyfriend Izzy? Could they have thought your boyfriend looked like Mr Kirk?" Sam suggested, seeing if Izzy would latch on to the explanation.

"No, I'm not allowed boyfriends. Mama says I'm too young."

Sam thought for a moment before trying a different line of questioning. "Is this the first time you've left Dawid alone in the house?"

Izzy nodded miserably.

"And you want to do anything to help find him don't you?" Again the young girl nodded, a single tear escaping from her eyes and trickling slowly down her cheek. "Then I need you to tell me the truth about Mr Kirk coming to your house, Izzy. How many times did he come to see you at home?"

"I don't know. Please!" Izzy's tears were flowing more freely now.

"Did he hurt you? If you tell me, I can make sure he never hurts you or anyone else again."

"No you can't. Papa said he would make sure no one ever hurt me but he died. No one can keep promises like that, you should never make promises you cannot keep." Sam suspended the interview to give Izzy chance to regroup, wondering if it would be wise to bring someone in to talk to the distraught young girl who was used to dealing with abuse victims. She left the room to get fresh drinks for everyone, seeking out Jo to get her advice.

* * *

"How's it going in there?" Jo asked as she helped Sam carry the drinks she was juggling.

"I think I need someone more suitable to talk to Izzy. I get the impression from her that whatever was going on with Kirk was not consensual." Jo nodded gravely, sighing at man's ability to inflict pain and suffering on one another.

"Well we just found an address for Andrew Kirk from his CRB check, I was just about to head over there but I can always ask Mickey and Kezia to check it out for me, if you want me to have a word with Izzy?" Sam looked at Jo, weighing up the options.

"Give it a go, tread gently and if you don't get her to open up to you, we get someone else in who's used to dealing with these cases. Deal?" Sam suggested, willing to give anything a chance and knowing how good Jo could be at coaxing information out of people without them realising that they were sharing it.

"Deal. I'll just go and pass this address on to Mickey and then I'll be right with you." Jo said as she walked into the CID office. Just as she was about to head into the interview room containing Sam and Izzy, Jo's mobile buzzed against her hip. "DC Masters," she answered in her usual abrupt style.

"Babe, you really oughta check which mobile you're answering before you pick up!" Lucy giggled at the other end of the line.

"Sweetie, is everything ok?" Jo knew that Lucy never called her at work unless it was something important.

"I'm fine, don't panic. I was just ringing to say don't worry if I'm late in tonight. We've been having major computer problems all day so we're going to have to stay back and catch up on inputting details, updating property information, etcetera. I didn't want you worrying that something had happened to me." Jo's partner explained, knowing how the older woman fretted.

"Ok, thanks for letting me know. I'll probably be here 'til late though so you may well still beat me home. You've got your key, just make yourself at home if you want to stay over tonight." Jo was anxious to clear the line, as much as she loved talking to her lover.

"Sorry if it's a bad time to call you love, I just didn't know when I'd get chance again. I'll let you get on and I'll see you later at your place." Just before they hung up, Lucy called, "don't wear yourself out Jo, you still have four more days before you get any time off. Don't pretend to be the Bionic Woman, ok?"

"I love you, Luce," was all Jo would say in response, knowing full well that she would be exhausted and fit to drop by the time her days off rolled around. Another call came through on her mobile as soon as she had disconnected the last one, a private number flashing on the small screen. Deciding that Izzy and finding Dawid were more important than someone trying to sell her whatever they were trying to sell her, she hit the reject button and let her answer-phone pick it up.

"_This is a message for Miss Joanne Masters. I'm calling from St Hughes Hospital regarding the appointment you were due to attend today. If you could call me back as soon as you get this so we can reschedule another appointment at your earliest convenience."_


	11. Chapter 11

"Izzy, whatever Mr Kirk said to you or did to you when he came to your house, you do know it's not your fault don't you? None of this, not what happened to you and certainly not Dawid's disappearance are your fault." Jo spoke quietly and gently to the teenager sitting on the sofa across from herself and Sam.

"But I left him there. I knew he was coming and I didn't want to do it again so I ran off to meet my friends." Izzy cried, covering her face with both her hands, her whole body wracked with her desperate sobs.

"Didn't want to do what again? What did he make you do?" Jo pressed, knowing they needed Izzy to share with them exactly what had been happening to her at Kirk's hands.

"He came to the house, at first we just talked and watched DVD's. I thought he liked me as a friend. Then one day, he put some music on, really loud and said we were going to have some fun. He put a DVD on that he'd brought with him, it showed lots of people taking it in turns to have sex with a young girl. She looked scared, she was only my age I think. I told him to turn it off, I asked him to leave, said I wasn't like that. He put his hands round my throat and told me if I ever told anyone, he'd get me killed just like my Papa." Izzy gulped a mouthful of her drink down as she recounted her tale of woe for the first time.

"You're doing really well, Izzy. You can tell me as much as you want to, no matter how long it takes ok? We do this on your terms. When you've had enough, you tell me and I'll get your Mama in here to take you home." Jo reassured the young girl soothingly, knowing that her mother was watching the video feed in another part of the station, with Izzy's consent, and so would know exactly what had been happening to her daughter under their own roof.

Jo and Sam listened intently for a further hour as details about the abuse and degradation came to light, at which point the DC gently advised Izzy that she had given them enough for one day.

* * *

"How the hell did he get a job working with kids?" Mickey stormed as Jo finished relaying the details of Kirk's months of abuse of Izzy and Dawid. "And when she left, why didn't she take Dawid with her? Why leave him there to that animal's mercy?"

"She's fifteen years old Mickey, she was scared, she was ashamed and she thought if she wasn't there that Dawid wouldn't open the door, that he'd be safe." Jo implored Mickey to understand what had driven the young girl to act as she did, to realise that no amount of finger-pointing would undo the damage caused to her or her brother.

"She had good reason to be scared." Grace crossed to the board at the front of the incident room, tapping a copy of the grainy picture of their main suspect. "Andrew Kirk, real name Andrei Kruk, convicted in Poland of paedophilia and murder of a five year old girl in 1989. He is suspected of being involved in the disappearance of no less than twenty other children who were reporting missing in the same province during his time working at a local school but there's never been enough evidence to link him to the disappearances. There was a moratorium on executions imposed on 1988 so Mr Kruk had what he might class as a lucky escape. If he had been caught and convicted before that, undoubtedly he would not still be roaming the streets today." Grace recited from the printout she had had faxed over from Interpol. "This guy's a serious player, suspected of being one of the main men in the operation being investigated by the Polish authorities, the same investigation which cost Niko Podowski his life. So why did he get sloppy enough to post pictures on the internet with his face showing?"

"Maybe he's arrogant enough to think that we can't touch him," Jo suggested.

"Or dangerous enough to know he has unlimited resources to make those who challenge him disappear," Sam rejoined. "How did he get out of prison in Poland? And when?"

"According to Interpol, there's some mystery surrounding that. There was a riot at the prison he was being held in, chaos broke out and in the confusion Kruk somehow managed to escape. There's a strong suggestion he had help on the inside, there was no sign of him, it was like he just vanished completely. He'd served only three years of his fifteen year sentence and he's been on the loose ever since. It doesn't sound like there's been too much of a concerted effort to find him. Interpol have had reports of him popping up in Portugal, France, Belgium and, most recently, back in Poland but he's changed appearance a lot in the last nineteen years, no one recognised him until it was too late. By the time they did realise that he was within their grasp again, he'd skipped town and vanished." Grace filled them in on all she had found out, having received a lot of assistance from their colleagues at CEOPs. They were still tracing the origin of the website on which the photographs were posted, the route a long, complex and tortuous maze of servers and dead ends.

"Or maybe he's got friends on the inside, people who don't necessarily want him to be recaptured. A lot can happen in nearly twenty years, people can move on to jobs where any suggestion of being involved with a fugitive could have tremendous consequences." Mickey suggested, sensing that this case was much larger than one missing child.

"Let's not jump to any conclusions until we have some proof. The last thing we want to do is create diplomatic tensions with unfounded accusations." Sam warned. Though whilst she suspected the DC could have a point, with nothing to corroborate those suspicions it was best not to tempt fate and start bandying about such statements. As all the officers returned to their duties, each following up leads and chasing down any information they could gather about the movements of Andrei Kruk, Sam noticed Jo slipping back into the squad room, having left a few moments before, a troubled expression on her face. With a tilt of her head as their eyes met, Sam invited the brunette into her office.

"I had a message on my voicemail from the hospital, I completely forgot about my appointment with them this morning." Jo volunteered, her mind reeling from how much the case had taken over her conscious mind.

"Oh Jo, I totally forgot you were due there too. Did Lucy not remember either?" Sam was shocked that it had been so easy to put thoughts of Jo being ill from her mind.

"I wondered why she wished me luck this morning but thought she was hoping I'd find Dawid. Even when she asked me to let her know how I got on, I thought of nothing except finding this little boy. What does that say about me, Sam?" Jo sounded so desperately confused that all Sam wanted to do was hold her and make all the pain and suffering go away. Unfortunately, she knew that no embrace in the world would achieve that for her friend.

"I would think it says you need to take more time for yourself and not let your job overtake your life." The diminutive blonde answered honestly. "Have you rung the hospital back? Explained why you didn't attend?" Jo shook her head in response.

"I didn't know what to say. How do I tell them I forgot I had cancer? Cos I did Sam, all day today, it's been almost like nothing's wrong, like it's all a horrible dream that I've woken up from and it's not true." Tears sparkled in Jo's eyes as she struggled to express how she had felt, the lightness and relief that came with a true belief that the diagnosis had been someone else's and not hers. This time Sam did give in to her urge and took the younger woman in her arms.

"You don't have to tell them that, love. Just tell them that you're a police officer and became caught up in a case, apologise for not telling them you had to cancel but you weren't able to get to a phone in time and ask them to book you in for the earliest available appointment they have."

"I am sorry for not talking to you about it, about how you found out. I never meant to hurt you." Jo felt all her fears threatening to surface and tensed against the onslaught, knowing she would never be able to hold her head up in Sun Hill again if she broke down in Sam's arms in the middle of CID.

"I know that Jo. I've done a lot of thinking about what I would have done in your situation and I can't say with any certainty I wouldn't have done exactly the same thing. Besides, I know how stubborn you Taureans can be!" Sam laughed, grateful to feel Jo let out a giggle too. "Now phone the hospital and get that appointment booked. I'll give you a few minutes to get it done, then we can book the time off in the diary. And I expect nothing – and I mean nothing – to come between you and this next appointment!" Sam gave Jo one last squeeze before releasing her and exiting the office.

* * *

"Guv, Andrew Kirk has a car registered to him, a black Honda CRV, licence plate DF51 KPD. I've asked Inspector Gold to get uniform to keep an eye out for it." Mickey informed Sam, his gaze surreptitiously flicking into her office where Jo sat head bowed talking on the phone. "Is Jo alright? I know I was out of order yesterday but Jo's my mate, I'm worried about her." Sam had been about to snap at Mickey for intruding but could see his concern was genuine.

"Right now Mickey, she needs our support, 100 per cent, not our judgement. If you want to be a friend to her, just do as she asks and treat her normally. Her diagnosis doesn't change the fact that she's still the same Jo she's always been and she's going to have enough battles to fight without us giving her any extra ones." Sam explained, imploring him to take heed of her words.

"She will get through it though, won't she?" He asked, now openly watching his colleague.

"None of us know that for sure yet, not even Jo. So let's just hope for the best ok?" Sam felt a lump threatening to close off her throat as she seriously considered that fact for the first time. Mickey gave a brief nod and returned to his work, a pensive expression on his face.

* * *

"Hi sweetheart, how long have you been home?" Jo wrapped her arms around Lucy's waist as she sidled up behind her in the kitchen.

"Not long." Glancing at the clock, Lucy amended, "probably around an hour I guess." The olive-skinned beauty loved the way Jo referred to her place as home for the both of them, it gave Lucy a real sense of belonging, something she hoped would last for life. She sighed contentedly as she felt her lover place tender kisses along the side of her neck, her pulse rate quickening at the simple yet erotic touch.

"Did you get caught up with your computer stuff?" Jo asked, loving to hear about what Lucy considered to be really mundane, boring work days, the normalcy of it often providing stark and much needed contrast to Jo's own shifts.

"Yeah pretty much. Anything else I decided could wait until morning when my eyes crossed and I started seeing things that weren't there!" Lucy turned in her girlfriend's arms so that they were facing one another, her hands travelling to the sides of Jo's face when she saw how ashen and tired she was. "Anyway, enough about my boring day, how did you get on this morning at the hospital?"

A sheepish look spread slowly across Jo's expressive face, "I missed the appointment." Before Lucy could say a word, although her expression must have given the brunette a fair idea of what was coming, Jo continued in a babble, "I didn't do it intentionally, I promise. I was just so wrapped up in finding this missing boy that I literally forgot about it. And for a while, it was nice to feel normal again; to only have my job to worry about; to be a hundred percent focussed on catching the bad guys."

"Baby, you are normal, no matter what. You might have an illness but that doesn't make you abnormal, not by any stretch of the imagination. People who are convinced they've been abducted by aliens are abnormal; people who wear socks with sandals are abnormal; cheese sandwiches without pickle are abnormal! Hell, people who think the shower running this country are the greatest thing since sliced bread are abnormal! You on the other hand may be stubborn, you may be so committed to your damn job it's almost difficult to see where DC Masters ends and my Jo begin and you may also be going a little senile with your Swiss-cheese memory but I can assure you, you are definitely _not_ abnormal." Jo had to laugh in spite of herself at the things Lucy considered to be abnormal.

"Well if you can put up with sharing a meal with this senile old workaholic, how about we order a Chinese? I don't know about you but I am starving!" As if to emphasise the point, Jo's stomach rumbled loudly, protesting its need for food.

"That sounds good but are you sure you can remember where you put the menu, dear?" Jo stuck her tongue out at Lucy's continued ribbing, crossing over to the noticeboard beside the fridge which contained all manner of useful leaflets and menus. After only a few moments of looking, she picked out the one she was looking for and returned with a very smug expression on her face to her awaiting lover.

"Let me guess, you don't need to look at the menu, you already know what you're going to have; Szechuan chicken with Singapore fried rice." Jo teased, her lover having developed a taste for the spicy dish from their local Chinese and rarely straying from her tried and tested favourite.

"So sue me for liking what I know and knowing what I like! Which weird concoction are you sampling tonight? Chicken with tomatoes and special fried rice? Or are you feeling in the mood for chicken curry, rice and chips instead?"

"It wasn't all that weird and it tasted good!" Jo defended her own choice of delicacy. "I think I'll stick to mixed vegetable curry with fried rice and chips tonight."

"Well how about, you put the kettle on and make us a brew, then go and put your feet up while I order? You look about fit to drop." Lucy patted Jo's behind affectionately as she shooed her in the direction of the kettle. "And don't, in all your senile older years, put the milk in the kettle will you darling?!" Once both had recovered from the indignant look on Jo's face and the subsequent laughing fit, both women set about making arrangements to begin their evening.

* * *

"Urgh, I don't think I can move, I'm so full." Jo groaned from her slouched position on the sofa, the remains of her curry on the coffee table in front of them.

"No one said you had to eat _all_ the chips!" Lucy fired back jokingly.

"I seem to recall I had a fair amount of help in that department young lady. You weren't too shy about helping yourself, do I take it the curry was to your liking too?" Jo asked, loving this easy camaraderie that flowed between them; such simple moments like this giving her more pleasure than any elaborately planned evening.

"Hmmm, I think you may have converted me." Lucy made a move to clear their plates, hoping to talk to Jo more about her missed appointment and the need to put herself first once the washing up was done. Jo caught the subtle change from flirty to distracted in her lover's mood.

Following her partner into the kitchen, Jo once again wrapped her arms around her waist from behind, whispering in her ear, "where did your mind just take a detour to? You got that look in your eye again."

"What look's that then?" Lucy asked, genuinely interested in Jo's ability to read her so well that even the tiniest change in mood was like a neon sign.

"The one where your eyes go a stormy dull colour rather than the sparkling bright hazel that they usually are." Jo murmured, gently massaging the shorter woman's shoulders, feeling the tension ebb from the supple muscles beneath her ministrations.

"I was thinking about your hospital appointment." Lucy stated simply.

"I made another one, they have a cancellation for Monday." Jo informed her, hands never ceasing their tender caresses. "Will you come with me?"

Lucy spun around to face Jo, her expression registering her surprise at the turnaround in her partner wanting her company at the hospital. "Of course I will sweetheart."

"Good cos, you know, my Swiss cheese memory might forget it again and I'm on a promise that I'll be kicked into next week if I miss another one, care of Sam!" Jo grinned, the smile not illuminating her eyes as she tried to make light of the situation.

"We'll get through this baby, you're going to be ok." Lucy assured the taller brunette, pulling her in close for a long, lingering kiss filled with every ounce of love she could muster.


	12. Chapter 12

"The crime scene examiners have been through Kirk's house with a fine-toothed comb, we're waiting on results of some tests but all evidence so far suggests he hasn't been back there in weeks, possibly even a couple of months. Uniform are out canvassing the area to see if any of the neighbours have anything of value to share with us. The tech guys at CEOPs are scouring every inch of the video link footage to see if we can get any clue about their whereabouts from the room. There's been no new broadcast as yet but that in itself isn't altogether encouraging. We've no way of knowing if Dawid is still alive or if Kirk now considers he has exceeded his usefulness." Grace reported back to the gathered team, her face matching their grim expressions as doubts crept in unbidden.

"Jo, see if you can talk to Izzy again. Ask her about the videos he made her watch, see if she knows where he got them from. See if there's anywhere he might have mentioned in passing, even if it's just some old relative's place. We need something to go on and quickly. Time is running out for that little boy and we are not going to fail him." Sam's vehement determination spurred the team into action, all of them whirling into frenzied activity with renewed vigour.

"Sam, do you have a minute?" Jack approached his DI and beckoned her into the office she shared with Neil.

"Guv?" Sam queried. Jack was not known for his penchant for meaningless chats.

"How's Jo holding up? She coping ok?" The DCI got straight to the point, as was his prerogative.

"Considering all things, she's doing remarkably well, why do you ask?" Sam rounded the desk, taking a seat as she watched her superior officer cautiously.

"This is an important case Sam, we need everyone firing on all cylinders if we're going to get the result we all really want."

"And you think Jo isn't? You think she's not 100 per cent committed to reuniting that little boy with his family and putting Kirk behind bars?" Sam felt her anger rising as her friend's competence was questioned.

"Ordinarily, I'd not think twice about DC Masters being in charge of any case, no matter how high profile or crucial it might be but…" Jack found himself cut off mid-sentence as the blonde DI had heard enough.

"Who's been talking to you? Was it Mickey? Jo has done absolutely everything you would expect of her and more besides. There's nothing she's overlooked, if anything she's more hyperaware because she is so conscious of _this_; of having her abilities doubted and her commitment questioned. DC Masters is the only person right now who I would want in charge of this investigation. For all her external concerns, she is more committed to solving this case than she is about her own health. For God's sakes Jack, she forgot to attend a crucial hospital appointment yesterday morning because she is so wrapped up in finding Dawid!" By the time the diminutive blonde had completed her tirade, she had risen from her chair and was leaning over the desk menacingly at Jack. The DCI visibly flinched, knowing that an angry Sam could be a formidable opponent but needing to press on all the same.

"There have been a few concerns raised by persons who wish to remain anonymous. Whilst it is commendable that Jo is so focused on finding Dawid, if she does so at the expense of her health then in the long-run that will help no one, least of all Jo herself. I know that she is a good friend of yours but I think you need to take a step back and look at this as her supervisor. If it was anyone else, would you be so quick to leap to their defence?"

"And just what do I have to defend her from DCI Meadows? Allegations from a coward too afraid to say to her face that she is doing her job too well? I am detached from being her friend at work. Once we come through those station doors, Jo is just another of my officers, no different from Mickey or Grace or Stuart or Kezia. How come this was never an issue when Stuart and I were involved? Or when I was with Phil? Be honest with yourself as well as me Jack, is this because Jo is ill or because she's a lesbian?" Sam threw caution to the wind, irate at the slight not only on Jo's ability to separate work and social life but on her own as well. "And to answer your question, yes I would be just as quick to leap to the defence of any member of my team whom I felt was being slighted unjustly. I can't believe that you think me so shallow that I would care less about another person than I do about Jo."

"It has nothing to do with Jo's sexuality, or directly her illness and it's not a question of you caring less about other members of the team Sam, that's not it at all. There are just concerns that you are finding it difficult to deal with separating your colleague Jo from your friend Jo now that you know she is ill and that that is leading you to allow her more leniency than you would ordinarily allow anyone." Jack tried to reiterate his position in the most diplomatic way.

"OK, enough beating around the bush. What is it that Jo is supposed to have done that I've missed? Please Jack, clue me in because right now, I don't have the faintest idea what you're on about."

"DNA results came back from samples taken from Andrew Kirk's house – they match control samples taken from Izzy Podowska. There is evidence to suggest that Izzy got a key cut to their house for Kirk to use when he visited them."

"And Jo figures into this how? People lie in interviews all the time Jack. When we questioned her, there was no evidence that Izzy was anything other than a victim and quite frankly I'm still not convinced that a key with her DNA on it is damning enough to warrant this kind of interrogation into Jo's conduct. I was present at that interview also, I saw nothing amiss nor anything to suggest that Izzy wasn't being totally honest about her involvement with Kirk. Everything was recorded, I'm sure if you review the tapes for yourself, you will come to the same conclusion. Is that all or was there something else that this kind member of the _team_ felt necessary to share with you rather than discussing it at the briefing we have just had?" Sam asked, still not clear where the connection was between this new evidence and Jo's apparent failings.

"Sam, we've looked into it, Izzy did get the key cut, we have her on CCTV."

"Have you interviewed her as well? Did you give her chance to explain how it might have ended up in Kirk's possession? Would you like Jo and I to step down and leave you and your informant to run the show? This is pathetic Jack and not how I expect us to run this department. What happened to trust in your colleagues? What happened to sharing information to ensure a full and open investigation? This smacks of the old boys network and I don't like it one bit. I can't work with a team who are not committed to pulling in the same direction and quite frankly I'm surprised that you have given this as much credence as you have. Jo is on her way to interview Izzy again now, I will contact her and ask her to make enquiries about this key. I hope that you will make it known to whoever your informant is that Jo will be remaining in charge of this investigation with my full backing and that any further evidence which comes to light will be discussed at the briefings, with the entire team." Sam stalked towards the door, opening it and effectively dismissing her superior officer, still fuming on Jo's behalf.

"Sam, please don't make this personal. I have to investigate any allegation of favouritism, you know that." Jack implored the younger woman to understand his position.

"Bullshit Jack. If you had any idea of who I really am or how this team operates, you'd have sent whoever it was making the allegation packing with a stinging ear from your roasting. I operate totally above board in my job and in my dealings with colleagues. If you suspect differently, go ahead and do what you have to do. I have nothing to hide. Now if you don't mind, we are wasting precious time which could be better spent looking for a missing 3 year old child."

* * *

"Hi Izzy, how are you feeling today?" Jo asked gently, sitting next to the young girl.

"Not great. Any news on Dawid yet?" Two sets of eyes fixed on the DC hopefully who sadly shook her head.

"I need to check a few things with you if that's ok? Same as before, if it gets too hard or you want me to stop, just say the word and we'll stop. You're in control ok?" Izzy took a deep breath and nodded.

"I want to help you find him, I'll do whatever I have to do."

"You're a very strong and brave young woman Izzy, your father would be proud of you." Jo told the teenager, seeing tears spring into her mother's eyes at the statement. "Yesterday, you told us about some films Mr Kirk made you watch with him, can you remember anything about where the films took place? Anything about the rooms they were filmed in? I know it must be horrible to have to think about what you saw on that screen but if you can give us anything at all, it might help track down where Dawid is. Did Mr Kirk ever say anything about how he got the movies?"

"You think Dawid's at the same place? That Mr Kirk has taken him there?" Izzy said, her face stricken with the knowledge of what that might mean for her little brother.

"We don't know but it's one possibility and gives us another place to look for him." Jo replied honestly, not wanting to share with the family that movies of the boy had already been broadcast.

"Mr Kirk never told me where the films came from, just that they were his special films and only special people could know about them. I know the room well, I spent more time watching it than what they were doing to the girls. I didn't like seeing their faces. The walls were covered in flowers, big pictures of strange looking plants – I could draw them for you if it would help?" Izzy suddenly looked more alive, as though she truly believed she could help for the first time since her brother's disappearance.

"That would be great. What else did you notice about the room?"

"The furniture looked very old, the bed was rusty but looked like it had been shiny at one time. There was a door on the back wall, a wooden door with two windows in the top part which had been covered up by more pictures of flowers. You could tell there were windows behind them because there was a bit of light shining through the paper."

"Were there any shadows on the paper over the windows? Anything that might help us find where it was filmed?" Jo watched Izzy's brow crease as she concentrated on capturing an illusive memory.

"I think so… yes there was a slight outline of a building, it looked like a church. It had a big dome on the top with a cross sticking out of it." The young girl looked to Jo, her expression asking the officer to offer her approval.

"You're doing great Izzy, really brilliant. Now, I know this is really difficult but did you see any of the men in the room? Anything at all that you might be able to tell me? Did Mr Kirk ever talk to you about friends or family he visited?" Jo pressed, scribbling down what Izzy had mentioned so far.

"There was a cousin he kept talking about, he lives in London also but I don't know where. It must be quite close, Mr Kirk would go there from school on his lunch breaks sometimes. He said maybe Dawid and I could go there with him one day and play with his cousin's children. One of the men in the films was very tall, I remember, and wore leather trousers. I remember thinking they were too tight for him and too short. He had a thing round his ankle, something black and bulky with a little tiny light on it, I could see it when his trousers pulled up his legs. He seemed to be in charge of holding the girls down. He was in all the films we had to watch, always in the same trousers." Jo's heart was pounding as she suspected that the man in question may have been wearing a tag – another possible lead to chase which might lead them another step closer to tracking the men holding Dawid. Between that and the knowledge that Kirk had visited someone near the school, she was more hopeful that they could begin to close the net around him.

"That's brilliant love. Did Mr Kirk ever let himself in to the house when he came round here?" Jo asked, watching Izzy's reaction to the question carefully.

The young girl vehemently shook her head. "I always had to open the door to him. I didn't do it once and he kept banging and shouting he was coming in one way or another until I was so scared he would knock the door down. He really hurt me that day so I always answered quickly after that."

"I think that is done for today." Zofia interrupted, suddenly seeming anxious about the questions being asked.

"Just one more thing, then I'll leave you in peace. Have either of you lost any keys recently?"

"No, we have our keys." As if to illustrate her point, Zofia brandished hers with a flourish.

"Those are your old keys Mum, where's the one you asked me to get cut for you last week? When you put those ones down and couldn't find them?" Izzy asked her mother, a confused expression on her face.

"I thought you have it, where did you put it Izzy? What have you done with it? Did you give it to that monster so he could hurt Dawid?" Zofia rounded on the young girl causing Jo to consider stepping in.

"I'd never do that Mama, I love Dawid and hated what Mr Kirk did to us. I gave that key to you the day I had it cut. You probably threw it in the drawer like the last one when you found those." Izzy pointed at the keys in her mother's hand to illustrate her point. Tensions between the two seemed to be simmering rapidly, suggestions that the situation was taking it's toll becoming more evident.

"Yes, maybe that is it." Zofia concurred, turning to Jo and proclaiming, "you see we have all our keys. Why is it your question to ask that? Izzy already says Mr Kirk did not enter himself, she let him in."

"There's some suggestion that Mr Kirk may have a key to the flat, we're trying to track how he got hold of it." Jo answered carefully, something about the woman's behaviour jarring her senses.

"So he is a thief as well as a monster then." Zofia concurred with an air of finality, leaving Jo in no uncertain terms that she would get nothing further from mother or daughter that day.

* * *

"Sam it's me," Jo stated as Sam answered the phone on her desk.

"Hi Jo, how did you get on?" The DI leaned back in her chair, thoughts of her earlier confrontation with Jack still fresh in her mind.

"I've got us a couple of things to chase up but I'm concerned we're looking in the wrong direction. Have we done any digging into Zofia? Who is she? Where she comes from? Whether she herself has any connection to Kirk? My guts telling me something's off, her reaction to my question about the key was all wrong. Up until then, she sat back calmly listening to her daughter describe what she'd seen in those movies but as soon as I asked about the key, she got jumpy and defensive."

"I'll get Kezia to look into her background and her movements over the last few weeks, see if we can track something down. You think she gave Kirk a key to her house? How does that explain Izzy's DNA being on it?" Jo filled her friend and colleague in on the conversation which had taken place just prior to her leaving the Podowski's new home. "Leave it with us Jo, we'll look into it. Where are you off to now?"

"I thought I'd do some searching for buildings with domes and crosses on their roofs, try and narrow our search area a bit. Once I've got a general area, I'm going to ask Probation for their cooperation in tracking down the guy in the leather pants and an ankle tag, hopefully there won't be too many people fitting his description wearing one in the area! While Kezia is looking into Zofia, can you ask her to check who lives closest to the school and if there are any connections with Kirk. Izzy mentioned him visiting a cousin in his lunch break, could be an accomplice or someone who may know if Kirk has a different address."

"Will do. Good work Jo. Keep me posted and let me know if you need anything else doing from here. I'll call you if we find anything that can't wait 'til your back in the office." The women hung up and both went about their next steps in the investigation, each wondering just what was the involvement of each person they were looking into.

* * *

Sam walked out of CID just as she spied a familiar figure exiting the DCI's office, head bowed as though wishing to seem inconspicuous. Without another thought, the diminutive blonde strode purposefully towards the office, ready to ask Jack if that was his informant. She raised her hand to hammer on the flimsy wooden barrier when voices beyond it stopped her in her tracks.

"…I can find no evidence whatsoever to support your theory Sir, she is perfectly capable of running the investigation and I'm surprised we're still having this conversation. Jo has done an exceptional job of building up a rapport with the girl and that is proving invaluable to getting the information we need."

"Maybe that rapport is just a little too good?" Superintendent Heaton inferred causing Sam to need to bite her lip to prevent her temper from boiling over once again.

"With all due respect Sir, that is out of line. We both know that DC Master's would never allow herself to become too involved with anyone attached to a case."

"Really? What about that business last week then? You know as well as I do that 'no smoke without fire' is often true. And how about her involvement with Seth? Can you honestly say her attachment to him was strictly professional?" Heaton spouted pompously.

"Jo was cleared of any wrong-doing in that case last week and she has a perfectly plausible and valid explanation for her presence at the hospital. Or do you suspect that she is in fact not really ill? If Jo was more personally attached to Seth than she should have been, who can blame her? She'd known him for years and had spent six months working very closely with him on her undercover assignment. I defy anyone to remain emotionless after practically living with someone for six months. His death hit her hard, yes, but it did not cause her for one second to become sloppy or unable to complete her duties to the best of her abilities. She is one of the best officers on this force Sir and I will not allow anyone to hound her out of it." Jack stood firm, his belief in his officer seemingly unswayable. Sam felt a little churlish for her earlier display, realising that Jack was doing what was necessary to be able to stand his ground during this confrontation.

"And what of her relationship with DI Nixon? Do you think it is appropriate that two women who are so close work together as they do? Surely it must make the position untenable, you cannot supervise someone with whom you have a relationship."

"Jo and Sam have a purely platonic relationship which compliments their work rather than detracts from it. Prior to their friendship being cemented, they had a somewhat rocky relationship which was neither good for the team nor for the smooth running of this force. I, for one, would rather have them pulling together in the same direction than back to how they were. We cannot afford to lose either one of them and I am satisfied that their friendship does not have any detrimental effect on the hierarchy that is in place. Indeed, I think they both handle the situation admirably, with neither party accepting or offering preferential treatment. If anything Sir, I would say that Sam is harder on Jo than other members of CID in a conscious effort to avoid such accusations being levelled at her. Which is why I find all this a little difficult to accept."

"I'll leave it with you for now Jack, but I expect you to take these accusations very seriously and monitor the situation closely. I will expect regular reports from you on what you are doing to appease the complainant and to ensure equality for all members of the CID squad. To that end, I want you to ensure that all DC Master's appraisals and performance monitoring is done by DI Manson. If that involves altering rotas to accommodate it then so be it. I want everyone to be clear I do not condone any form of close relationship between cross-ranking staff which might affect the smooth running of this unit." Sam heard footsteps approaching the door and scooted back down the corridor a short way, her mind in turmoil over the revelation that an accusation had been made against both herself and Jo. She could only assume it had been the toe-rag she had witnessed leaving the DCI's office a few moments earlier who was responsible for the accusation but whilst she dearly wished she could tear them limb from limb, she knew she had to act very carefully. Her first thought was to phone Jo and forewarn her of what was likely to happen but knew that would be ill-advised. Still, she would not be content to sit idly by and allow one person's twisted imagination to jeopardise the career of someone for whom she cared deeply.

* * *

**_A/N: Know what would really make my muse happy? If you click that little button and left us a review! lol. Any and all feedback gratefully received, if you feel so inclined to comment._**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Since you asked so nicely... next chapter for your perusal. Thanks to those who have left feedback, it really does give my muse something to work with. Apologies for the intermittent service, I'm in the process of changing jobs so am working 7 days a week just now. The end is nigh though so hopefully more regular updates can ensue before too long. Thanks for sticking with this story and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Let me know what you think then I know if it's working!_**

**_As usual, I don't own any characters from The Bill, I'm just stretching their legs to see where they feel like going. I'll return them before the next show airs, I promise!_**Sam scoured the pages of transactions in front of her, looking at all the payments which had been made and received by Andrew Kirk in the previous few months. She had taken to circling all those which stood out to her as being unusual, marking them up for further investigation. Her mobile buzzed on the desk beside her signalling an incoming call. Glancing at the caller display, she flicked the tiny machine open and greeted her caller.

* * *

"Hi Lorna, to what do I owe this pleasure so late on a Tuesday evening? I'd have thought you'd have been at your salsa class by now."

"Hi Sam, ordinarily I would be but I think you and I need to talk. There's something you need to know." The DI could tell from Lorna Hart's hushed tones that it was difficult to talk wherever she was.

"Name the place, I'll be there." Sam stated simply, feeling like something out of a Hollywood movie with all the dramatics surrounding her at present.

"What time are you finishing?" The feisty blonde glanced at her watch and then back at the papers in front of her, deciding that she could take them with her for further analysis.

"Give me ten minutes and I'm packing up. Want to come over to my place?"

"Possibly better at mine, the babysitter's only booked 'til half ten. You know the address?" Lorna's voice inferred a question which Sam answered readily.

"I'll find my way. See you there in about forty minutes then?" They agreed the time and hung up, Sam wondering why the meeting had to be so clandestine and Lorna glancing around her to make sure that in this instance, the walls did not have ears. She felt she had every right to be suspicious given what she had uncovered at Kirk's house, a discovery she was prepared to share with only one person.

* * *

"Come on in Sam, can I get you a drink?" Lorna took the blonde woman's coat from her as she shrugged out of it, grateful to get into a warm house after her freezing journey.

"A coffee would be like nectar right about now!" Sam joked, trying to ease some of the palpable tension in the air.

"I'll slip a tot of whiskey in it for you, that should chase away the chills." Lorna offered, ushering her guest through into the lounge where a roaring open fire waited to welcome her. "Take a seat, I'll be right back." Sam perched on the plush sofa, glancing around the room and admiring the CSE's taste in décor. Her eyes alighted on a photograph of a young clone of Lorna, whom Sam presumed was the daughter she spoke of so fondly. There was another photograph of Lorna with a handsome man, arms around each other as they gazed into each other's eyes, their love plain for anyone to see. The DI felt herself growing wistful as she observed, through these pictures, the family life Lorna was lucky enough to have. A subtle cough brought Sam's attention away from her less than discrete perusal to find Lorna standing beside her, a steaming mug of whiskey-laced coffee held out towards the guest.

"Sorry I was just admiring your photos. You look very happy together." Sam mentioned, accepting the proffered mug gratefully and wrapping her hands around it with a blissful sigh as she felt the warmth seep into her frozen limbs.

"We were, that was taken six years ago, about a month before James was stabbed to death by one of his patients, back when knife crime was still relatively rare." Instantly, the frost returned to Sam's core as she glanced back at the photo before focusing on this woman whom she had considered a friend but realised she knew very little about.

"Lorna, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

"Don't be. I made my peace with what happened a long time ago. It's just me and Katie now and I have to be strong for her. She's really what helped pull me through the darkest times after it happened."

"How old was she when it happened?" Sam queried, following Lorna's cue to sit back on the sofa, feeling the soft cushions envelope her cosily.

"Six, old enough to remember her dad being taken from her but too young to really remember what he was like now." For a few moments, both women were silent, sipping their drinks and content to meander through their own thoughts.

"I'm sure you didn't just invite me over here so I could pry into your personal life. It sounded quite important on the phone." Sam was first to break the silence, conscious of the time and not wanting to outstay her welcome.

"When it's between friends Sam, it's never prying. But you're right, this wasn't technically a social invitation – although I hope you know you are welcome here any time." Lorna seemed to be struggling with where to begin but Sam waited patiently knowing that she would find the correct place in her own time. "When I was searching Andrew Kirk's house yesterday, I came across something that disturbed me, far more than the images we found hiding under his floorboards and in the backs of cupboards. I spent all last night mulling over what I should do with the information I'd found. I finally decided at around 4am this morning that I would bring the evidence to you and let you draw your own conclusions. Towards the end of my shift today, I went to retrieve the evidence only to find it missing. I checked, double checked and triple checked but it's gone, not signed out even though it was definitely signed in. I don't think whoever has it knows that I took photographs of it in situ before I alerted anyone to it's presence, or at least I hope they don't. I brought the memory card home with me just in case but to preserve the evidence chain, I had to sign that out. If they do find out and go back for it, they'll know where to come looking for it." Lorna's voice had taken on a slight tremor as she had recounted her tale, leading Sam to suspect she feared for the consequences if someone did decide to look for the aforementioned memory card.

"Lorna, what did you find? What is so important to someone that they need to make it disappear?" The DI in Sam came storming to the fore, driven by the knowledge that someone was deliberately hampering their investigation and wondering if it had anything to do with the questions arising surrounding Jo's ability to do her job.

"Take a look for yourself." Lorna crossed to a sleek looking printer into which she had previously inserted the memory card she had taken from the evidence locker. She collected a couple of high quality printouts of images and handed them to her guest, watching her face intently as she ingested the implications of the pictures in her hand.

"That's… but that's… oh my… no wonder he's so keen to discredit Jo!" Sam felt her stomach churning at the content of the images in her hand. At the same time, her mind was whirling with consequences and implications and strategies. She looked down again at the vision of the Superintendent in a very compromising position with a young girl no older than 10. Juxtaposed to the image was a list of subscribers names to a very provocatively titled website.

"You see why I'm a little nervous about who I could talk to? I still wasn't entirely convinced until I saw you listening at DCI Meadows door this afternoon."

"You saw that?" Sam's face was ashen as she feared who else may have seen her eavesdropping on the senior officers conversation.

"Relax Sam, there was no one else around. From the expression on your face when you left just before Heaton walked out of DCI Meadow's office, I guessed that whatever you had heard did not sit well with you. How is he discrediting Jo?"

"You could say I was fuming after hearing him in there. He basically told Jack to stop Jo and I from working together, that our friendship prevents me from supervising her properly and he went as far as to imply that she is using her sexuality to influence witnesses to talk to her!"

"But that's just ridiculous! How does he come to that conclusion?" Lorna huffed her disgust, her fear receding as her anger flared.

"Opportunity. He cited that court case last week as an example, actually said that 'no smoke without fire' is often true! Even if Jo wasn't so sickeningly in love with Lucy, she would never in a million years dream of taking advantage of anyone in that way." Sam uttered, letting the photographs fall back into the printer tray, then thinking better of it and picking them up again. "Would you mind if I take these? I'd like to send them to a friend of mine with instructions that if anything happens to either you, your daughter or anyone who knows of their existence, I will contact them and ask them to send the photos to a suitably high profile newspaper. That at least ought to offer you some security from repercussions. Besides which, I'm sure you'd rather not have these lying around where Katie might find them."

* * *

"DC Dasari, can I have a word please?" Sam beckoned Grace into her office and closed the door behind them.

"What can I do for you?" Grace asked, taking the seat Sam ushered her towards, not used to having cosy chats behind closed doors with DI Nixon.

"How are things going over at CEOPs? Are they having any joy tracking the website the video of Dawid appeared on?" Sam perched on the edge of the desk, not wanting to make the meeting formal.

"Not brilliant at the minute, they're getting through one set of firewalls and server re-routings only to find another being created as fast as they can break through. Whoever's running this thing knows their stuff, CEOPs have got their best people working on it day and night." Sam nodded, her fears confirmed that this was indeed much bigger than just one missing child.

"I need you to use your contacts there to trace another website but it has to be done in the strictest of confidence. I've had an anonymous tip off, one which I am one hundred percent convinced is accurate, that this is linked to this website somehow." The DI handed Grace a slip of paper with the web address of the site Lorna had stumbled upon when searching Kirk's house. "This could involve a lot of influential people, people who would rather we didn't open this particular can of worms because of what it might do to their careers and their public images. I'm counting on you to exercise complete discretion and to choose who you employ to trace the website very carefully. It will be safer tracking it from CEOPs, less likelihood of someone involved realising that we are looking into them. If possible, try and get a list of subscribers to the site and a host address. There's a very strong possibility that Kirk is involved in this setup and we can't afford for anyone to tip him off." Grace nodded her understanding, the expression on her superior's face the only confirmation she needed of the gravity of the situation.

"How high are we talking?" Grace queried as she stood to leave.

"Possibly as high as you can go." Sam admitted, thanking Grace and asking her to contact her on her personal mobile for security purposes if she needed to report anything. The blonde DI had waited a further 24 hours after speaking with Lorna, confirming that the photos had arrived safely with her friend, before she involved anyone else in investigating the newly discovered website. Her mind was split between worrying about how to tackle the enquiry without Heaton discovering what was going on and wondering how Jo was getting on at the hospital. She had been infinitely grateful to learn that Lucy would be accompanying her lover to the appointment for her MRI scan but still could not help but wish she was there too.

* * *

"Miss Masters?" Jo looked up at the sound of her name being called, her heart dropping into the pit of her stomach. She stood shakily, reaching for Lucy's hand and receiving a reassuring squeeze as her partner rose with her, silently accepting the unspoken invitation to join her. "If you'd like to come through please, we'll get you ready for your scan." The volunteer whose job it was to get Jo to where she needed to be seemed content to chat idly as they walked down the narrow corridor, past people waiting for x-rays for a vast array of ailments. "It's a bit busy this morning, must be all that ice around, lots of people slipping and tripping. Luckily there's not as much call for the MRI scanner so we should have you sorted in good time. Are you heading to work after this or have they given you the day off?" The tiny woman enquired good naturedly, her eyes kindly and without pity which Jo was grateful for.

"I've got the morning off but I'm expected in this afternoon." Jo answered, her voice a little husky from her fear. She hated hospitals with a passion but knew that she would have to resign herself to attending them regularly until she had beaten the cancer… or until it had beaten her.

"Well, here you are if you'd just like to get changed into this very attractive gown, we'll try and get you done quickly so you can make the most of the morning before having to go to work." The woman bustled off to inform the radiographer that Jo was available for her scan, leaving Lucy to assist Jo out of her clothes.

"I can think of nicer times I've undressed you!" The young olive-skinned brunette mentioned, winking at her lover as she tried to ease the tension in them both slightly.

"Yeah," Jo murmured distractedly, her mind consumed with thoughts of what the scan could show. "Listen sweetheart, I need to say this so please just let me get it out without stopping me ok?" Jo waited for the other woman to nod her assent before continuing, "if the scan shows more tumours, if it's spread, I don't want you to feel like you have to stay with me out of duty. I could end up needing a lot of help and I don't want you to feel burdened by me ok? So I want you to know that you have my permission to get the hell out of dodge any time it gets too much for you. You have your whole life ahead of you, I don't want you wasting it on a lost cause." Jo found herself unable to speak any more, the words refusing to pass the lump which had formed in her throat. She felt Lucy clasp her hands tightly in her own, urging her quietly to look at her.

"No matter what happens, no matter what this scan reveals or what the outcome might be, I love you with all my heart and there's no way I could live with myself if I left you to get through it alone. So whilst you may have squared it away in your own head, I can't. I won't leave you Jo, not unless you tell me that's what you want in your heart of hearts and not because you think you're a burden to me. You'll never be a lost cause to me, no matter what." Both women had tears coursing down their cheeks as the radiographer arrived to take Jo for her scan. "I'll be right here waiting for you to get back love." Lucy told her as she was wheeled from the room.

* * *

Jo felt panic begin to seize her as she began her journey into the huge metal tunnel in which she would be incarcerated for the next hour or so. She was sure that never would forty minutes feel so long in her entire life. No amount of warning or explanation could prepare her for the reality of being surrounded by whirring machinery and magnets which fired ….. into her body disrupting it at an atomic level simply to build up a picture of her. The room was frigid and smelled strongly of that unexplainable but unique hospital stench. Loud clanking noises startled her and a stern voice reminded her of the need to lie still at all times. She chuckled in her mind as visions of her body disintegrating if she moved sprung into her head, memories of watching Star Trek with Tessa and the transporter accidents which had befallen some crew members coming to mind. She sobered as she thought of what she might do if the scan revealed more tumours, of how she would tell Lucy and Sam, of what it might mean to her personally. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly as the machine clanked and whirred and banged around her, her mind desperately trying to transport her to a happier place and time. Lucy's face hovered before her in her mind's eye and she focused on every tiny detail, studying it as though her life depended on knowing every slight crease and pore.

* * *

Sam glanced for the hundredth time at her phone, willing it to ring and for Jo to be on the other end telling her that she was ok. The fear of not knowing whether the cancer had spread was worse than dealing with the reality if it had, Sam decided. She had never been one for fighting what she was ignorant of and found that this was no different. She had taken the time to trawl the internet looking for all the information she could find on the type of tumour Jo had been diagnosed as having so she knew there was a reasonably good chance other organs or areas of her body would have been infected, especially given the size of the initial tumour. She had also investigated what an MRI scan was like and wondered how Jo was coping with it, knowing that she was not fond of enclosed spaces at the best of times. She didn't even have much in the way of new information for the investigation to distract her from her musings, everything seemed to be taking twice as long as usual. She was sure that it was simply an illusion, that time in fact was passing as it always had and it just seemed like it was dragging because of her preoccupation. The knock on her door had never sounded so much like music to her ears; right then, Sam did not care who was interrupting her reverie, it signalled a much needed distraction to smooth the passage of time.

"Come in," she called to her visitor.

Grace opened the door and slipped in, closing it behind her awkwardly as she juggled a large file containing numerous sheets of paper. "I thought you might want to take a look at this. I mentioned that website to Alec and he copied me the entire contents of a file which has been running on that website for a few years. Every time they get close to one of the players, something happens to put the investigation on a backburner again. He's doing what he can, discretely, but he warned me that it might be impossible to get that list you're after."

Sam took the file gratefully, thanking Grace and assuring her that she had suspected they would not be allowed to dig indiscriminately. "I'll keep this with me and look over it tonight. I trust Alec won't mention his involvement to anyone else?"

"I can guarantee that, apparently some of those who have shown an interest in the origins of that particular website have met with unfortunate accidents. I don't think Alec is in a hurry to take a tumble off his motorbike!" Before Sam could ask her to keep it to herself, Grace continued, "and neither do I Guv, as far as I'm concerned I never saw any of that. Truth be told, I didn't read it. The less I know about it the better all round I suspect."

"Thank you Grace, I owe you so call me on it any time." Sam stood along with the sergeant, ready to see her out of the office.

"I'll bear that in mind next time I want a last minute day off!" Grace smiled slyly leaving Sam to her thoughts once again. She picked up her phone and dialled, waiting for someone to answer.

"Hi, this is Lorna's phone. Sorry I can't take your call right now but if you leave me a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks." Sam waited for the requisite beep before leaving an invitation on the voicemail, enquiring if Lorna was up for joining her that evening. To anyone else, she hoped it would sound like a casual arrangement between friends, hoped that Lorna would read between the lines and realise that Sam had news.

* * *

"Miss Masters, come in, come in, take a seat and let's see what we can do for you." Jo practically dragged Lucy with her into the consultation room, her ordeal in the tunnel over but her turmoil far from receding as she awaited the results. The doctor waited for both women to be as settled as they were likely to get before he addressed Jo again. "I've taken a look at the results of your scan."


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N: Apologies once again for the delay - been a mad time with changing jobs and then not changing jobs after all. Anywho, enough excuses and on with the story. If you enjoy it, or even if you don't and you want to tell me to give it up, please feel free to review. And my thanks as always to those lovely people who do take the time to let me know what they think of the chapters, it sure does give my muse food for thought. Now all I need is a gadget to slow down the passage of time and we could all be happy bunnies!!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from The Bill, only my own do I claim to have any ownership of and I do not intend to profit from their creation in any way, shape or form. We're just here to have a fun time, some trials and tribulations but I promise they'll be reporting for duty at their next shift._**

* * *

The few seconds it took for the doctor to breathe seemed to last an eternity for Jo and Lucy, both of whom were holding their own breath. "I'm very pleased to have some good news for you. From what we can see, the tumour is an isolated occurrence. There appears to be minimal involvement of the surrounding tissue and lymph nodes and no evidence at all of further tumours developing elsewhere at this present time." He allowed a few moments for the news to sink in. Jo felt tears spring into her eyes and allowed them to fall freely onto her cheeks, having spent the time in the scanner preparing herself for the worst.

"What happens now?" Her voice sounded scratchy and hoarse even to her own ears as Jo addressed her consultant.

"Now, we decide how to tackle the tumour which is present. There are a few different options open to you; a lumpectomy where we remove the lump and enough of the surrounding tissue to be sure the area is clear or you could opt for a full mastectomy, which would involve removing the entire breast. With either option, I would strongly recommend a course of radio- and chemotherapy to ensure that all the malignant cells are destroyed and to minimise the chances of it returning. The length of these treatments will be dependent on what you choose to do." The doctor paused once more giving both women chance to digest the information thrust at them. "Have you given any thought as to what you would prefer?"

Jo nodded, she and Lucy had discussed it at length the previous evening, weighing up all the pros and cons of each option. "I'd rather have the mastectomy, I want to know it's all completely removed."

"And what about reconstructive surgery? We can arrange for this to be performed at the time of excision which would mean just one operation rather than returning for reconstruction at a later date." The consultant explained.

Jo had assumed that she would have to wait until the area had settled down before any sort of implant could be installed. It was a prospect she had been dreading, waking from the operation to find herself significantly and noticeably lop-sided. Strangely, the thought of an uneven chest bothered her more, although only marginally, than the possibility of losing her hair. Hair, she concluded, could grow back of it's own accord once treatment was completed and there were more accessible ways to disguise the temporary baldness than there were to distract others from the lack of a breast, especially when she was so naturally buxom. "If that's possible, I'd like to go ahead with it at the same time." She felt Lucy squeeze her hand tightly in support and she glanced across at her lover touched by the warmth and love emanating from her eyes.

* * *

Jo allowed the door of the bathroom to swing shut behind her, relief gusting out of in her one breath, forced out from between clenched teeth. She had made her excuses to Lucy, needing a few moments to collect her thoughts after leaving the consultation room. Tears fell unchecked from her eyes as the enormity of the news she had just received set in. Even if she had managed to maintain a reasonably calm and positive exterior for the sake of those around her, in her own mind and heart, Jo had convinced herself that the scan would reveal further inoperable tumours. Increasingly over the last few nights, she had lain awake long after Lucy had silently cried herself to sleep, her heart breaking at the thought of leaving the young beauty alone and in pain. She mentally offered up a prayer to any Deity caring to listen, thanking Them for her good fortune and asking that it might continue into her treatment.

"Sam? It's Lorna, I got your message." Lorna paused as someone walked by, too close to earshot for her liking.

"Hi Lorna, thanks for calling me back. So what do you think? Can you stand another evening in my company?" Sam attempted to continue the guise of asking her colleague to meet up for a social drink, just in case the phoneline had extra ears.

"I think I could cope with that. What time can I expect you?" Lorna made clear the meeting would once again take place at her home without having to verbalise her thoughts.

"I'll be there at 8pm if that's ok with you?" Sam questioned.

"See you then. Bring your appetite with you, I'll cook." As soon as Sam hung up, her phone vibrated in her palm. When she saw the name displayed on the tiny screen, she almost dropped the mobile in her haste to answer the call.

"Jo! How did you get on? What's the verdict?"

Jo felt a lump rise in her throat once more as she listened to Sam's anticipation on the other end of the line. It shouldn't be so hard to pass on good news, she mused, but then it wasn't like she had much experience in this department. The longer the pause went on, the more anxious Sam became, thinking the worst and figuring that Jo was having a hard time putting the diagnosis into words.

"It's good news Sam," Jo managed eventually. "There are no other tumours that they can find at the minute and there's not much evidence that it's spread to the area around the tumour I do have. There's a cancellation in surgery tomorrow morning, my doctor wants me to take it." Both women's hearts were pounding so hard they were each sure the other would be able to hear the unmistakable thudding.

"Wow, they don't hang around do they? That's good though right? The sooner you have the operation, the sooner you can begin treatment. I assume there will be some form of treatment as well?" Sam blathered, her mind racing into overdrive about the implications. The news on the surface seemed to be positive, no metastases of the cancer, but then there was the urgency with which the hospital seemed to want Jo in which contradicted the relief that the worst was over.

"I've got to have radiotherapy and chemo too for the next few months. It might take time to find the right one but hopefully this will kill it off for good and make sure it doesn't reappear a few months or years down the line.

"How soon would you start the… treatment?" Sam faltered, finding herself unable to refer to the procedure by name and make it all the more real in her own mind.

"Chemo Sam, it's ok to say it. I have cancer but it's treatable and with any luck curable. If I have anything to do with, I will damn well beat it. There are too many things left that I need to do before I'm ready to pick out my harp and wings." Jo heard a soft snicker on the other end of the line.

"Getting ideas above your station there Jo? Who says you're headed heavenwards?" Sam teased gently, grateful to Jo for understanding her reticence and taking it in her usual stride.

"Only every woman I've ever been with! According to them, I'm already a Goddess!" Jo cracked back, at which point Sam was mightily grateful she had not been drinking or eating or else her desk and everything on it would have been liberally decorated. Lucy slugged Jo playfully on her shoulder, grinning from ear to ear and fully anticipating what Sam's reaction would be.

"Oh God Jo!" Sam groaned.

"Yep that was pretty much how it was with them too, see I'm a shoe-in at the pearly gates!" Jo continued to joke, knowing that by now Sam's cheeks were almost undoubtedly crimson. It felt good to joke with her close friend, laughter being something sadly lacking in their encounters of recent times. Sobering, she continued, "I don't intend on going anywhere for a long while yet Sam, I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

"I'm very glad to hear that Jo, I really am." Both women fell silent, content to listen to one another's breathing for a moment and just share their deep connection.

"So how's your day going? Are there any developments on the case? Anything you want me to do on my way in?" Jo asked after a few moments.

"You're not still coming in are you? Don't you want to spend the rest of the day with Lucy? I mean, you're going into hospital tomorrow morning, you'll be out of commission for a while…" Sam was incredulous, all the more so because of recent accusations levelled at Jo. If only they knew the real Jo Masters, she thought, no one would ever question her unwavering loyalty to her job and the people she was tasked with protecting.

"And I'll have all the time in the world to spend with Lucy when I get out of hospital and I'm a whiny miserable arse! For today, I need to know I've done all I can to help you find Dawid before I go off radar." Jo pointed out logically. Lucy rolled her eyes, making clear she was overjoyed at the prospect of looking after Jo the invalid.

"Are you sure you're feeling up to it? No one would blame you if you didn't come in today."

"Sam, I'm on my way ok? Now what needs doing?" Jo strolled out to her car, taking her lover's hand in her own and feeling strangely weightless despite what was facing her just one day away.

"There are a couple of people who we're still trying to get hold of from the houses around the school." Sam gave Jo the details of which households they had been unsuccessful in reaching and received assurances that she would call after dropping Lucy off. The women hung up both feeling much more focused on their respective tasks at hand than previously.

"Listen Jo, I was thinking, maybe it would be nice to invite Sam over for dinner tonight. It might be the last time you feel really up to entertaining for a while and you and she still need to have that talk you promised her." Lucy broached a subject she had been considering for a few hours with her partner as they parked in front of Sam's workplace.

"I think that's a lovely idea. I can but ask. I'll run it by Sam as soon as I get to the station and let you know. What did you have in mind since my cupboards are pretty much bare!" Jo reached over and tenderly stroked a palm across the younger woman's face, always amazed with how mature and wise she was for her tender years.

"I had noticed! I can pick us up some pasta and chicken and bits on my way home if you like? I'll do my special." As if on cue, Jo's stomach grumbled loudly protesting at the lack of sustenance it had received so far that day.

"I'd say me and the beast in my belly think that is a marvellous idea. I know Sam will love it." Jo leaned across the car to where her gorgeous lover was preparing to disembark and placed a soft, reverent kiss on her lips.

"Not that I'm complaining but what was that in aid of?" Lucy murmured, trying desperately to resist the urge to devour Jo's lips hovering tantalisingly close to her own still.

"It was a thank you; for coming with me this morning, for standing by me, for caring enough about my friends to want to cook for them even though this might be the last night we get to spend alone for a while, for so many things that you've promised to do and that you have already done just by being you. I just wanted you to know that I do appreciate you and I love you with all that I am." At Jo's heartfelt words, Lucy lost all pretence of self restraint and plundered Jo's mouth greedily, heedless of their passing audience.

"I love you too sweetheart and no matter what the next few days, weeks, months, hell even years may hold, I will be right here by your side for as long as you'll have me." Lucy leaned in for another passionate kiss before tearing herself away reluctantly before she lost any sense of decorum she still possessed. "I've gotta go and get some work done or else you and I will be spending the night in one of your finest cells for gross indecency!" Lucy's eyes smouldered with a promise that Jo would be treated to an explosive night once the doors were shut and they were alone. Every fibre of her being sang with the knowledge that such a fantastic woman wanted her so badly, she felt quite light-headed from the thrill.

* * *

Jo waltzed into the station, feeling quite proud of herself despite only being able to speak to one of the outstanding neighbours they wished to question regarding Andrew Kirk. The information she had managed to garner from her quest should give another batch of possibilities for the team to look into, leaving her feeling satisfied that she was doing all she possibly could to help catch the evil paedophile who had snatched Dawid.

"Working part time are we now DC Masters?" Superintendent Heaton glowered from the doorway to his office as he watched the detective cockily climb the stairs.

"Not at all Sir, I've been out interviewing potential witnesses in the Podowski case." Jo felt her bubble burst immediately, wondering who had got his knickers in a twist for him to berate her as soon as she arrived.

"Really? So you've found someone willing to say they know where the boy is then have you?"

"No Sir…"

"I think the swagger in your step is a little unjustified then don't you?" With that he turned on his heel and slammed his office door behind me.

"Pardon me for breathing." Jo muttered to herself as she stomped the rest of the distance into CID.

"Jo, what have you got for us?" Sam asked as Jo seated herself at her desk.

"Nothing apparently." Jo griped still smarting from her unwarranted dressing down. At Sam's quizzical glance, she outlined the information she had managed to sweet talk out of an elderly couple living a few doors down from the school. At first they had been reluctant to talk, for fear of reprisals Jo surmised, but once Jo assured them their name would be kept out of any enquiry, they were a lot more forthcoming. They gave her details of times when they had witnessed a man fitting Kirk's description entering a property just across the road from them, often with young children in tow. To begin with, they thought nothing of it, knowing that there was a school just up the road and the youngsters seemed in no distress but then they realised that although the children went in with this man, they rarely ever left with him – often remaining in the house until much later, long after school lunch hour had finished and always with different men. "The house is registered to a Mr Graham Jenkins though the couple I spoke to seemed to think he was out of the country and renting the property out through a local estate agent." Jo supplied, feeling some of her confidence returning as she watched the faces of her colleagues.

"Brilliant, well done Jo. Mickey, you see what you can find out on this Jenkins character, see if he really is abroad and if so where, what doing and how long is he out of the country for. Grace, do some asking around the estate agents, see if this property is being let through one of them – if it is we might be able to compel them to give us the name of the current tenant. I'm sure they would want to know if the terms of the lease were being broken." Jo watched the other scurry off on their quest as Sam gave them their duties, an odd feeling of detachment settling across her as she worked to step back from the case, knowing that after today she would not be involved. "Jo, can I have a word in my office?" Sam asked gently, wondering what the detective's initial comment had meant.

"Sure." Jo followed Sam, thinking that this would provide the perfect opportunity to invite the petite woman round for dinner that evening. The dynamic blonde DI closed the door behind them, leaning against it as she regarded Jo carefully.

"What's up?" Sam locked her eyes onto Jo's own intently. Jo was used to being guarded but had learned quite some time before that there was no hiding anything from the astute woman whose gaze was currently boring into her like a laser.

"Heaton." Jo replied, wracking her brains for how to explain to Sam the Superintendent's attitude and remarks.

"What did he say to you?" Sam asked trying carefully to disguise the fact she already knew there was an issue brewing where Jo and John Heaton were concerned.

"It was more that he was on my case as soon as I walked up the stairs. You said yourself we got some good information from that couple, I was pleased with that but he dismissed it out of hand because I hadn't found out where Dawid is. I know it's not concrete that anything will come of it, I'm not that naïve but it's more than we had yesterday." Jo ranted, her shoulders slumping as she realised that no matter how hard she tried, she would not be able to just walk away from this investigation. Her conscience and her sense of duty refused to allow her to leave it unfinished.

"You did a brilliant job to get that information Jo and you know that we will all do everything we can to follow up every lead that it creates. Now though, you have to think about yourself." Sam crossed the room to stand in front of the taller woman, wrapping her arms loosely around her waist and resting her head against her shoulder, heedless of the prospect of them being seen despite her dispute with the brass over her ability to manage Jo. "I can't even begin to tell you how glad I was when you called. It's the best news we could have hoped for. Promise me you'll tell me if there's anything I can do for you? I know you have Lucy but I don't want either of you struggling through this alone."

Jo returned Sam's embrace gratefully, briefly thinking about how well they fit together and that in another life, had things been different, that they would have made an incredible partnership. "Come over for dinner tonight?" Jo whispered into Sam's hair, feeling an overwhelming urge to surround herself with the people she loved that night.

Sam faltered, her head and heart torn between duty and her deep desire to spend the evening with her closest friend. Jo sensed the hesitation and thought that Sam was about to claim she'd be intruding again. "I already have a date, of sorts." Sam told her quietly. Jo pulled her head back, staring at Sam appraisingly.

"Who is he?" There was no hint of the disappointment she felt in Jo's tone, just glee at her friend prospectively finding someone to share her life with.

"She, not he. And it's not really that kind of date." Sam muttered, feeling the beginnings of a blush creeping up from her neck as she thought of sharing a date with Lorna. She felt herself squirming under Jo's intense scrutiny and understood how she could so easily get suspects to confess.

"Explain Ms Nixon. Who is she? And if it's not a 'date' date then how come you're as red as a beetroot?" Jo enjoyed turning the tables on her friend, her disappointment forgotten as she pumped for more information.

"It's to do with work. I'd put it off but it really is important. Please Jo, I can't talk about it, not here and not yet but trust me to say that when I can tell you I will." Sam looked away from the woman still holding her in a loose embrace, fearful that her resolve would break if she continued the eye contact.

"Ok I'll let that slide, for now, but you do like this woman, whoever she is? Come on Sam, there's more to this than work and we both know it. You never blush like that about our working dates!" As if on cue, the colour spread back across her cheeks illustrating Jo's point perfectly.

"I don't know, I really don't. Part of me thinks I just want to be a good friend to her, she's in a difficult situation at the minute, but another part of me would love to just spend time with her, work be damned." Sam and Jo had talked a few times about Jo's sexuality and how the brunette had known her preferences lay with other women but Sam had never openly questioned her own proclivities. "How do I know what kind of relationship I want from her? And what the hell do I do about it if I'm falling for a straight woman?" Sam broke out from Jo's arms, turning to face the window as her inner torment threatened to overwhelm her. She wrapped her own arms around her tiny frame, hugging herself as if to protect against a cold which was not tangible to anyone else.

"Welcome to the world of grey areas Sam." Jo murmured close to her friend's ear. Placing a supportive hand against the small of her back, she continued, "you'll know what to do if you listen to your heart. You're excellent at reading people so I'm certain you'll be able to tell if this woman would be receptive to the idea of more than a friendship with you. And if she's not, if she really is 100 straight, I'm afraid you'll just have to learn to live with unrequited love until someone more available comes along and you find another outlet for you emotions."

"But what if I cock it up Jo? What if I make a complete idiot out of myself? Or worse, I do something to let her know how I feel, she responds and then I find that I don't feel that way about her after all? Argh, why is it so complicated? Why can't love just be love and have done with it?" The taller brunette guided her fractious friend around to face her, needing to look her in the eye as she spoke.

"Sam, listen to me. I know you and I know your penchant for analyzing things to death before you make any kind of move so I don't reckon that you'll jump in with both feet before you've had chance to examine this from every angle. Take your time, see how the idea of being in a relationship with another woman sits with you before you even think about getting involved with someone else. If she's the one, she'll still be there when you know in your own mind what it is that you want and need. This doesn't mean that you'll necessarily spend the rest of your life with a woman, this one or any other; it doesn't make you gay; it doesn't even make you bisexual. All it means is that you've found someone who has struck a chord with you and with whom you might be able to see yourself being happy. Promise me you won't do anything before I get out of hospital and we can have a proper chance to talk?" Sam's face registered her horror as she realised how selfish she must be sounding.

"Oh God Jo, listen to me blathering on about something as trivial as this when you're facing what you're facing." Sam's apology was forestalled by gentle fingers on her lips.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry for treating me normally Samantha Nixon, I'd never forgive you. I'm glad you feel able to talk to me about this and I hope you know that no matter what is going on, I will always, always, be available for you to talk to. Come and see me in a couple of days, when I'm back home? We can chat the night away and you can tell me all about this lovely lady. After all, fairs fair; you had to vet my girlfriends so the least I can do is assess this one as your potential partner!" Jo suggested, noticing a wry smile tug at the corner of her friend's mouth.

"Let's see how you're feeling after the surgery and everything but I like the sound of that."

With a wink, Jo turned and headed for the door, "I'll go chase down some more leads before the end of shift. Can't have you all slacking while I'm lounging around being waited on hand and foot!" Both women sniggered at the thought of that, despite the seriousness of the reason for Jo's enforced rest.

* * *

"Sir, a moment of your time?" A disembodied head slipped around the corner of the door into Superintendent Heaton's office, followed by the rest of the person as they were waved in.

"What's the news?" John Heaton asked of the young man standing before him.

"Thought these might interest you." A mobile phone displaying photographs of two CID officers in an intimate embrace landed on his desk in front of him. "They were in her office for around half an hour, mostly like that, very touchy feely."

"Thank you Stuart, very interesting. Do me a favour and email them to this address. Make sure they come from an address outside of this building, don't want you being compromised." At the thinly veiled dismissal, DS Turner retraced his steps out of the office after retrieving his phone and slipping it back into his pocket. As he let the office, his face took on the appearance of someone who had just received a right royal bollocking from their officer in charge, knowing that few people would find that a stretch to believe.

* * *

**_And that's all for today folks. I'm working on the next chapter so hopefully it won't be as long until I can get that up online. Let me know what you think by reviewing and I'll be eternally grateful. Thanks for reading._**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sincere apologies for this having taken so many months to update. Real life sure does suck sometimes. And in reference to that, I would like to dedicate this chapter to a dear friend of mine who has unfortunately fallen victim to the very disease this story deals with.**_

_**As always, I do not claim to own any characters from The Bill, that privilege belongs to Freemantle Media and Talkback Thames.**_

_**If you'd care to leave a review, I'd love to hear from you, no matter what you have to say about the writing, the content or the amount of time it's taken to update. (I will endeavour to update sooner this time, real life permitting.)**_

* * *

"Sam! Come in, come in, it's freezing out there." Lorna ushered Sam through to the lounge where she was once again greeted by a roaring fire that made the welcoming room seem all the more homely and comfortable.

"Thanks, I brought us a bottle of something to share over our reading matter for the evening." Sam produced a large bottle of Scotch whiskey with a flourish as she propped her carrier bag against the sofa.

"Wow, is it that bad?" Lorna joked with a rueful smile retrieving the aforementioned bottle from her guest. "Shall I crack this open now then or would you prefer to start with a glass of wine?"

"Whichever you'd like is fine with me. If you have wine open that would be wonderful but don't open one especially for me." Sam demurred. Lorna left the room with assurances that she would be back momentarily. Sam took the time to glance around once again at the comfortable décor and personal mementoes.

"Katie's at a friend's house tonight, they're having a sleepover so no doubt I'll get a cranky daughter back for my sins tomorrow when I pick her up!" Lorna mentioned as she returned carrying two crystal glasses filled with a wonderfully rich-coloured red wine. She handed Sam one of the drinks before placing her own on the coffee table and crossing to the music centre. Switching it on and lowering the volume to a comfortable background level, Lorna picked something suitably soothing, having a feeling that they might be in need of it once Sam produced whatever was in her carrier bag.

Sam surreptitiously watched the woman move around her space, noticing how confident she seemed outwardly but that there were small signs of nervousness also; in the tiny tremor of her hands as she replaced a surplus CD into its case; in the fidgeting until she found what she deemed to be the perfect volume.

"Let's just chat for a while, ok? We can face the horrors in there after we've eaten." The DI suggested.

"That sounds like a good plan to me." Lorna concurred. "Speaking of eating, let me just check the oven and then I should be all yours for a little while."

"Is there anything I can help with?" Sam enquired, keen to follow the woman into her kitchen but needing a viable excuse to do so.

"No, you're alright, really. Everything's ready really, just waiting for the casserole to finish cooking. I thought since it's so cold outside I'd stoke our inner furnaces with a chicken casserole. Hope that's ok with you? You're not vegetarian or anything are you?" The thought struck the CSE with sudden horror.

"It sounds absolutely wonderful but you really shouldn't have gone to so much trouble. I'd have been happy with a sandwich!" Sam reassured the now panicking woman.

"Nonsense, you've been slaving all day and if I know you at all, I'm guessing that you failed to find time to eat during your shift." The red-haired crime scene examiner chided her friend gently before leaving the room.

* * *

Jo sat on the couch, watching the music file synchronising with the tiny player, tears cascading over her cheeks as she gave into the fear that tonight could be the last time she was able to cuddle up to her lover. She knew that she should be in bed beside her at that very moment but found her mind too restless and in need of preparing a message to show Lucy how she felt. She had come across the song whilst surfing the internet and could not believe how well the words fitted with what she wanted her lover to know. And so a plan was hatched, to leave this with Lucy as Jo herself was being wheeled into theatre, allowing her to know in her heart she had done whatever she could to express her heartfelt love and conviction that their souls were destined to be together.

* * *

Lorna cleared away the dishes, ignoring Sam's protests that she should be the one to do it, announcing that the dishwasher would take care of it all. When she returned, she invited Sam to rejoin her on the sofa, holding up the bottle of whiskey Sam had brought over and a pair of tumblers. "Ready for the hard stuff?"

"Oh yeah, make it a generous one eh?" Sam muttered as she eyed the bag sitting untouched at her feet.

"So what's in there? Something I need to be worried about or are you just working up to telling me I'm overreacting?" The Scots woman asked as she reclined, draping one arm delicately along the back of the seat.

"This is a dossier that various different people have compiled on that website you found the address for with Heaton's photo. It makes for very disturbing reading. There are suggestions of people involved in there who could make life very difficult for us both. Apparently, many of the people who have contributed to investigating the website have met with 'accidents' before they can put together any concrete evidence tying any of the names to the site or to subscriptions." Sam continued to outline the contents of the folder Grace had acquired for her, watching Lorna's face lose more and more colour as she heard more details.

"So Dawid really doesn't stand much of a chance? I mean, we're talking an organised, connected network of paedophiles here, not just an amateur child snatch. He could already be dead or he could be half way around the world by now." Lorna responded, resignation in her tone.

"Or he could still be in London somewhere waiting for us to rescue him from his nightmare." Sam insisted, needing to believe that there was hope.

"How can we proceed with the case if we know any evidence we gather is likely to disappear? At least we have a sort of blue print of who we can trust now and who we definitely can't but that can't be exhaustive – there must be others who are turning a blind eye to the theft of evidence at the very least." Lorna reached for the whiskey, topping up both Sam's and her own glass with a generous measure before settling back against the sofa, fractionally closer than before Sam noticed.

"With extreme care and caution I would suggest. We keep our cards close to our chest and only discuss the bare basics of the case at Sun Hill. If you can put up with meeting me when we're off duty, I'd like to thrash out the rest of it with you? I'd understand if you don't want to though, if it's too risky, what with Katie and everything." Sam sipped her whiskey, feeling the glow of the alcohol burn its way down her throat as she swallowed.

"And leave you to face these bastards alone? I don't think so Sam, my conscience would never allow it. We'll be discrete and careful, both of us and you've given us an insurance policy of sorts with the photos you sent to your friend." The flame-haired woman beside Sam stated, her face a picture of determination. "If there's one thing above all others I cannot standby and allow to happen, it's children being used, abused and traumatised."

"I would say it must be the mother in us but I know Jo feels the same way." Sam commented abstractly. Her thoughts turned to her closest friend, wondering how she was coping and whether she should have accepted her invitation to dinner that evening, hoping that she would get another chance to share a meal with the brunette.

"How are you holding up with what's happening to Jo?" Her companion asked quietly, having noticed the sadness and concern which passed across the beautiful blonde's face as she thought of the detective.

"Ok I guess. Worried, feeling helpless and hoping like hell that I'm strong enough to help her get through it." Sam allowed herself to discuss her own fears for the first time, having been so caught up in the investigation and being there for Jo and Lucy that she had never found the time.

"You're an exceptionally strong woman Sam and you will be the tower of strength that Jo needs you to be for as long as she needs you, I'm sure. But don't neglect yourself in the meantime. Any time you want to talk or if it's getting too much for you, you have my number and I want you to know you can use it, day or night. You be there for Jo and I'll be there for you." Lorna reached along the back of the sofa and casually tucked a stray strand of blonde hair back behind Sam's ear away from her face, tenderly brushing her knuckles across Sam's alabaster cheek before withdrawing her hand again.

The blonde woman smiled shyly at her companion, her stomach rolling pleasantly at the affectionate display. "Thank you, that's sweet." Sam stifled a yawn, the exertions of the week catching up with her. "I should make a move and let you get to bed."

"I'd rather you stayed here tonight, Sam. With the wine and whiskey, plus the contents of that bag, I'd only worry about you if I let you go home alone." Lorna explained, stretching kinks out of her muscles which allowed Sam a tantalising glimpse of the creamy white flesh beneath her top.

"I couldn't impose on you like that…" Sam began.

"You wouldn't be. I really enjoy your company and I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you on your way home. Please? Put an old lady's mind at ease? You can take your pick; there's Katie's bed or mine – I really wouldn't recommend the couch, it's a bit on the short side, even for you!" Lorna grinned as she teased the vertically challenged detective inspector.

"Cheeky!" Sam retorted, nudging the giggling woman with her shoulder. "Katie's bed will be fine so long as you're sure she won't mind."

"Katie probably won't even notice – prepare yourself for an ascent into chaos!" Lorna laughed as she showed Sam towards the stairs. "I'll find you something to wear, I'm sure I can find a nightshirt you can borrow." The two women climbed the steps, Sam following behind Lorna and taking the opportunity to admire the curves of the other woman's body. After settling Sam into the room and showing her which was the bathroom, which toothbrush she could borrow and which towels to use, Lorna excused herself, descending to the ground floor once again in order to secure the house for the night, which included locking the folder Sam had arrived with into a secure cabinet. The women met on the landing as Sam exited the bathroom wearing the loaned nightshirt, which skimmed her mid-calf – a little longer than designed to be worn but giving Lorna an adorable impression of a child whose clothing had been bought to be grown into. On seeing that she had gained an audience, Sam stood with her arms out to her sides, and effected a twirl on the spot. The alcohol coursing through her veins had awakened her mischievous spirit.

"Like what you see?" Sam grinned as Lorna blushed.

"Erm… yeah… suits you," her host stammered approaching the blonde with every intention of entering the bathroom herself.

Sam caught hold of her as she made to pass her, pulling the startled woman into a loose embrace. "I want to thank you properly for helping me with the case and Jo and everything. You're a good friend Lorna." The slightly inebriated blonde placed a kiss against the cheek beside her own, inhaling the scent that was the very essence of Lorna and feeling it ignite fires throughout her body. "Good night." Sam murmured into the other woman's ear, knowing she needed to put some distance between them before she made a move she lived to regret.

"Good night Sam, sleep well." Lorna replied, placing a kiss of her own on Sam's smooth cheek.

* * *

"Morning sweetheart," Jo murmured as Lucy stirred beside her.

"Hmmm, morning." Lucy's eyes opened groggily, her heart clenching as she saw Jo's bloodshot orbs gazing back at her. "You don't look like you slept a wink, why didn't you wake me?"

Jo leaned down and kissed her lover tenderly. "Because I wanted you to sleep love. No point in us both being awake and besides, I'll need you refreshed for later after my surgery when I'll have you running around after me non-stop!" The brunette's attempts at levity fell between them, the spark of laughter not reaching her eyes nor coming from the heart.

"You're going to be ok Jo. Do you hear me? I'm not ready to let you go so there's no way you're not coming through this. And if it means I have to be your skivvy for a while, 'til you're back on your feet, then so be it. But be warned lady, my memory is long and don't think you won't be making it up to me as soon as your able!"

This time, Jo's smile appeared more genuine, though still tinged with more than a small amount of sadness. "I hope so baby, I really hope so."

"Shower with me?" Lucy enquired, wanting to keep Jo as close as possible before they were forced apart by scrubs and surgeons. Rising from the bed, the svelte brunette held out a hand, pulling Lucy to her feet also and leading her into the bathroom.

They took their time, washing, massaging and lavishing love upon one another. Jo reached her peak for a final time, tears cascading over her cheeks and mingling with the soapy water. She clung to Lucy desperately, the reality hitting her full force.

"I can't do this, I'm not strong enough, I can't…" Jo sobbed into the tiny shoulder, Lucy struggling to keep Jo's deadweight upright.

"Yes you are, you can do this. Jo, baby look at me." Lucy commanded as she pulled back from the embrace. "You're not alone Jo, I'm going to be with you right up until they take you into theatre and when you wake up, I'll be right by your side then too. We will beat this cancer together. When you feel your fight draining from you, draw on mine or Sam's or any of your friends, we're all going to get you through this. I'm not going to lose you, Jo. I'm not!"

"There's a letter for you in a drawer downstairs, one for Sam too. If something goes wrong today…" Jo began before being cut off by her lover.

"It won't."

"But just in case, please, promise me you'll read it if I don't come back? And pass on Sam's? Please?" Jo swallowed with difficulty, the lump in her throat feeling the size of a grapefruit.

"Ok Jo, I promise." Lucy conceded, knowing Jo needed the reassurance that her wishes would be followed, "but I'm not going to need to because you can tell me yourself what it says once your surgery is over."

* * *

Lucy watched as the gurney was whisked out of the tiny cubicle, her partner heading into the operating theatre for crucial and highly invasive surgery. Her mind turned back to Jo's last words to her ("please, listen to it, just in case") and diligently, she slipped the ear phones on and hit the play button as instructed. A chord filled her ears and then:

"_Bravely you let go of my hand,_

_I can't speak yet you understand,_

_Where I go now I go alone,_

_This path I walk, these days of stone._

_And the angels are calling…_

_I must go away_

_Wait for me here, silently stay_

_And don't ask me why_

_Only believe, this is not goodbye_

_All of my strength, all my desire_

_Still cannot melt this breath of fire_

_I go to meet some kind of test_

_Bury the truth that scars my chest_

_And the angels are calling and calling…_

_I must go away_

_Wait for me here, silently stay_

_And don't ask me why_

_Only believe, this is not goodbye_

_I gathered all my courage_

_I shaved off all my fear_

_With this banner on my shoulder_

_I hold your essence… near_

_And the angels are calling and calling and calling…_

_I must go away_

_Wait for me here, silently stay_

_And don't ask me why_

_Only believe, this is not goodbye_

_Only believe this is not goodbye._

(Lyrics by Melissa Etheridge, This Is Not Goodbye)

Lucy felt hot tears streak across her cheeks as she listened to the final refrain of the song Jo had chosen to leave her with. She realised that Jo had spent her restless hours tying up loose ends and making sure that those left behind if the unthinkable were to happen would know exactly what she wanted them to know. At a time when she could be forgiven for thinking only of herself, Jo had instead chosen to put the feelings of those she loved first. That realisation was enough to break Lucy's heart as her love for the brunette was consolidated more than she could ever have imagined. She sat in the unforgiving plastic chair, gazing out with unseeing eyes at the passing foot traffic, her mind and soul searching for the woman who completed her.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Sincere apologies for this having taken so many months to update. Real life is a killer for time and muses! However, the realisation that in just 2 short weeks The Bill will be disappearing from our screens for good spurred me on to keep it alive, even if it is just through fanfic!**_

_**As always, I do not claim to own any characters from The Bill, that privilege belongs to Freemantle Media and Talkback Thames. If I owned them, I'd be making full use of it now being a post-watershed programme ;o) Lol.**_

_**If anyone remembers this story and you'd care to leave a review, I'd love to hear from you, no matter what you have to say about the writing, the content or the amount of time it's taken to update. (I will endeavour to update as soon as I am able to and have a few more chapters already prepared in the hope that I can keep updating and finally finish this beast. Once that's done, I'll crack on with Honeymoon in Vegas as well.)**_

* * *

"Sam? Sam, come on, wake up honey. It's ok, it's just a dream." Lorna soothed the platinum blonde hair away from the fretful woman lying in her daughter's bed. The murmurs had woken Lorna a few moments earlier, gradually increasing in volume and anxiety as whatever demons haunted Sam gripped her more forcefully. As Lorna continued to coo softly words of comfort and reassurance, she continued to stroke her hand across the alabaster skin of Sam's face, marvelling at the softness of its contours. Wakefulness crept into Sam's demeanour, muscles subtly tensing as she prepared herself to face whatever had woken her. "It's ok Sam, it's just me." Lorna again reassured the woman, removing her hand but remaining perched on the edge of the bed, far enough away to allow Sam room but close enough should she wish to reach out to her.

"Lorna?" Sam queried, recognising the voice. "Lorna, what if Jo doesn't make it through her surgery? What if it's more advanced than they think and there's nothing they can do for her?" The fears which had been haunting her slumber spilled out of the diminutive blonde before she could censor herself.

"Oh Sam," Lorna opened her arms, inviting the smaller woman into a warm hug, wrapping her up and wishing she could shelter her from any harm or hurt. "I'm sure Jo will be ok, she's a very strong woman and she has the support of Lucy and you and all her friends and colleagues. And if it is worse news than we could hope for, then we will help Jo to cross that bridge when we come to it, in anyway we can. I know it's pointless telling you to not worry but all we can do now is trust in the doctors to do their job and trust that Jo knows how much she has to live for to fight her way through this." All the while that she spoke, Lorna gently rocked Sam back and forth feeling her sobs gradually subsiding into the occasional sniffle. Both women were reluctant to withdraw from the embrace, content to remain in the circle of each other's arms. Finally, Lorna glanced at the clock and realised that she would need to make a move or run the risk of being late for work and whilst she would have loved to have spent the day with Sam, supporting her and trying to take her mind off Jo, they both knew it was impossible. "Shall I make us a cup of something hot? Which do you prefer to kick start your morning, tea or coffee?"

Sam reluctantly lifted her head from it's resting place against Lorna's shoulder, sitting back on the bed and instantly feeling bereft. Her mind was in turmoil as she mulled over her body's response to the embrace; the tiny thrills that had run up and down her spine as she realised Lorna was not about to instantly release her once her tears subsided, the tumbling and churning of butterflies in her stomach and the distinct clenching of muscles lower down in her abdomen, the miniscule increase in her heart rate as she nestled close to the other woman, inhaling her scent and letting it overwhelm her sadness.

"Sam? You ok?" Lorna shuffled closer, peering into Sam's vacant blue eyes and trying to coax her back into the here and now.

"Hmm sorry, just thinking." Sam admitted, ducking her head as she thought about where her mind had been leading her and hoping the crime scene technician would not press for more information. A blush crept across her cheeks as she processed her reactions and she fought to remain focussed on Lorna's current question. "Black coffee would be good, thanks. Hopefully some caffeine might wake my brain up a bit."

"Sugar?" Lorna enquired rising from the bed and stretching out the kinks in her muscles, allowing Sam a tantalising glimpse of the smooth pale flesh of her stomach as the top of her pyjamas rose up and separated from the trousers.

"Ummm just a little dash please. Only first thing in the morning but I just need it to ease my taste buds in gradually to the day." Sam ran a dry tongue over parched lips, eyes occasionally flicking to the area where Lorna's pyjamas had separated hoping for another sneak view of the flesh beneath them.

"Coming right up. Do you want it up here or are you joining me downstairs?" Lorna asked, noticing Sam still seemed distracted and wondered if she might prefer some time to herself.

"No, I'll join you downstairs if that's ok?" Sam responded, watching with fascinated eyes as Lorna's own crinkled in warm affection as she nodded that it was ok. Sam sat for a few moments, listening to Lorna moving around the house, mulling over her own reactions to the physical and emotional closeness she felt towards the red-haired woman. "Oh Jo, please get through this, I could really use your experience right now," the blonde muttered under her breath as she rose and headed to the bathroom to freshen up before dressing and descending the stairs in search of her host.

Lorna heard Sam enter the bathroom, leaning heavily against the worktop and blowing a shaky breath out from between pursed lips. It had felt so good to hold Sam in her arms, too good. Lorna had no problem with anyone developing feelings for whomever they felt drawn to – as long as it was within the law – but she had never so much as looked twice at another woman. All of a sudden, Lorna was not sure that pursuing a close friendship was a wise thing to do. She feared that it would not be enough and that scared her. The thought of needing someone - anyone - that much again petrified her. The idea of that someone being a woman, well Lorna's mind stalled when even trying to decide how that made her feel. It was too much, especially on top of everything else. But there was no denying that she had liked holding Sam, that having her wrapped up in her arms, having the gentle tickle of her breath against Lorna's neck and the weight of her arms around her waist had re-awakened many long-dormant stirrings within her. Mentally, she vowed to herself that she would try to retain some distance between them, not wishing to make Sam uncomfortable while she worked out what these confusing new feelings meant, if indeed they meant anything at all. A stupid passing crush was not worth ruining a perfectly good friendship or working relationship for.

* * *

Lucy swiped angrily at a lone tear trickling across her cheek. Tears were not welcome, they served no purpose and achieved nothing. She needed to harden her resolve, to be fully prepared for the battle ahead. No one had ever made her feel the way Jo made her feel. She had had lovers previously but none who looked at her as though she were the only person on earth worth looking at, no one who gave the impression that they breathed only for her. But that was how she felt with Jo, as though the older woman could never quite believe her luck whenever she saw her in their bed or in her arms, as though constantly mentally pinching herself to persuade her it wasn't just a fantasy. She only hoped that she made Jo feel as special and loved and wanted as the brunette always made Lucy feel and part of her knew that despite the graveness of their current situation, it would also give her a chance to prove the depth and breadth of her love through her actions. Butterflies danced in her stomach as she wished to every immortal being that she could do what was necessary to support her lover through the coming weeks, months and years until such a time as Jo was given the all clear. Deciding that she needed some fresh air, Lucy made her way into the hospital grounds, dodging the lurking smokers huddled together in the designated areas and heading instead for a more isolated bench. She retrieved her mobile phone from the pocket of her baggy jeans and turned it on, checking to see if anyone had left any messages for her. It wasn't that she was expecting anything important, more that her mind needed some kind of distraction from the images flashing through it of her lover's body being sliced open and mutilated. Shortly after the tiny phone had completed booting up, it's shrill ringtone sounded indicating an incoming text message.

"_Hi Lucy, wish I could be with you in person to keep you occupied while Jo's in surgery. Am thinking of you both and wishing for the best. Call if you need anything, anything at all. Love Sam xx_"

Reading and re-reading the message warmed Lucy's heart. When she and Jo had first become involved with each other, Lucy's jealousy had been sparked by the effusive and plentiful way in which Jo spoke about her Detective Inspector. Lucy had been convinced that there was a hankering for more than friendship on both women's behalves even if they did not act on it. It had taken meeting Sam and seeing their casual affection with her own eyes to convince her once and for all that they shared an incredibly strong bond of friendship but that there was nothing to fear from that. In spite of her reservations, Lucy found herself liking Sam's company and the fire she managed to bring out in Jo. She only hoped that it was a quality Sam could coax out even at the brunette's lowest ebb, suspecting that it might be called upon before she was given the all clear. Lucy checked her watch, wondering how Sam's day was going, opting to call rather than reply with another text message.

"DI Nixon," Sam answered automatically, so caught up in the paperwork in front of her that she neglected to check the caller-ID display.

"Hi Sam, it's Lucy." Now that she had the other woman on the phone, Lucy found herself at a loss as to what she wanted to say to her.

"Hiya love, how are you holding up?" Sam instinctively moved into motherly mode, her protective, nurturing instincts roaring to the fore.

"I'm ok, Jo's still in the operating theatre. I just feel so useless." Lucy admitted, her throat beginning to close up and tears pricking at her eyes as she addressed her fears out loud.

"You're not useless. You have been an immense source of strength and support for Jo. She told me that she had no idea why you were standing so firmly beside her but that it was making all the difference to her that you were so don't ever doubt that you help. Just by being there for her, loving her and showing her she's not alone, you are giving her the strength to fight and belief that she will come through this." Sam implored the younger woman to take heed of her words.

"I just wish today was over. I hate the thought of her being cut open; I hate that she has to spend tonight in a hospital bed instead of lying in my arms; I hate that she will bear the scars from this for the rest of her life. How can something like this happen to Jo? She's always so healthy and fit and strong. Why her? Why not me? I could handle being ill myself better than I can deal with watching her go through this. I'm not convinced I'll be strong enough to be there for her, to guarantee giving her all the support she needs every single day for the foreseeable future until she gets the all-clear. What if I fail her? What if I let her down because I can't handle it? What if my not being strong enough makes her give up? Sam, what if I can't save her?" Words spilled from Lucy's mouth unchecked, almost as though a valve in her had blown and nothing could censor her thoughts before they were verbalised.

"It's perfectly normal and natural to feel that way, Lucy. Don't be so hard on yourself. No one expects you to be there for Jo alone. You have me and there are a lot of Jo's friends and colleagues who will gladly help you share the load, with visiting, taking care of Jo, taking her to appointments, running errands, picking up shopping, anything at all. So please, don't feel like you're on your own. And don't stress yourself out so much worrying about your own expectations of yourself that you run yourself into the ground. Nobody expects you to save Jo, only medical science and her own willpower can do that. What you can do is be yourself, be the woman she loves and who loves her in return. Be a shoulder to lean on, arms to comfort her, someone to talk to and a friend and companion to distract her from her pain, her discomfort and her fears. And through all that, you can pick up the phone anytime, day or night, and I will be there for you both. You're very important to Jo and Jo is important to me therefore so are you, ok? We will all pull together to get her through this." Sam reassured, hearing the fear and confusion in the passionate woman's voice.

"I'm so glad Jo has friends like you – I doubt any of mine or my colleagues would rally round if it were me," Lucy stated sincerely.

"Then your friends are not true friends and don't deserve you. I can't imagine not caring enough about any of the people I call friends to not want to help them in any way I could given this kind of situation. Lucy, you're a good person and I can tell that you adore Jo. I have every faith you will find the strength within yourself and from the support around you to be whatever Jo needs you to be to help her." They chatted for a short while longer, Sam happy to be able to keep the younger woman company and distracted. Eventually, duty called as a soft knock on her door signalled that Sam was required to focus back on work. The two women said their brief goodbyes, promising to speak again later.

* * *

"Ms Sorella?" Lucy's bowed head snapped up at the sound of her name being called. She rose on shaky legs from the uncomfortable plastic chair to greet the young swarthy skinned man in surgical scrubs, an expectant expression on her face. "Ms Masters has been taken through to the recovery suite now and will be being moved to a bed in the intensive care unit shortly." Lucy's face fell, immediately concerned that there had been complications. The doctor correctly interpreted her expression and hastened to reassure her, "it's just a precaution until we can be sure there will be no residual reactions to the procedure or the sedation given to her during surgery. The operation went well, there's good cause to be optimistic."


	17. Chapter 17

_**A huge thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read and to review this – nice to know there are still readers out there despite my neglect! Hope you enjoy this chapter too and as always, I own nothing but the original characters and the plot in this thing, I'm just playing with the rest of them so they don't get scared in the storage boxes they've now been stuck in following the end of filming on The Bill **__**.**_

_**Feel free to leave as frank reviews as you like, all feedback is gratefully accepted. For those readers who'd like to see a Sam/Jo relationship, usually I'm with you completely, but just for this story I'm exploring their dynamic as friends instead. (Shameless plug alert) If you want some Jam loving, take a look at some of my other stories, plenty of Jam there (end shameless plug)**_

* * *

"Can I see her?" The words tumbled from Lucy's lips in an emphatic rush, her need to see for herself that Jo had indeed survived the operation and was at least on the first tentative few steps towards recovery evident in her tone.

"As soon as she is settled into ICU, a nurse will be along to fetch you. You will only be able to stay with Ms Masters for a short while but you will be able to see her, yes. Don't be alarmed if Ms Masters is unresponsive, we have her on strong pain medication which will make her very drowsy." The young surgeon turned to leave, having passed on all the information he currently could regarding the patient's condition and progress.

"Thank you and please, thank the rest of the staff who have taken such good care of Jo today. We really are very grateful to you all," Lucy called after his retreating back, earning her a genuine smile over his shoulder and a gentle nod.

* * *

Sam sat behind her desk, staring out of the blind-shuttered window without seeing anything of the world beyond the glass. The morning had passed her by in a blur. The few reports she had signed and the brief interactions with her colleagues had all happened on autopilot as her brain struggled to deal with the varying implications of recent revelations. Between the missing child case, her confusion around her burgeoning feelings for Lorna and Jo's operation, Sam's mind was in turmoil and the constant motion of it left her disoriented and nauseous. She didn't know who to turn to, whom she could trust except the one person she currently couldn't talk to about it – Jo. For the umpteenth time, Sam checked her mobile in case by some miracle she had missed Lucy contacting her with news. She slammed the device down on the desk in disgust when she saw there was nothing there; no text message, no missed call, nothing but her screensaver gazing back at her tauntingly. Suddenly her office door was opened even as the intruder was knocking.

"DC Webb, to what do I owe this dubious pleasure? I do believe it is customary to knock and then await permission before entering someone's office!" Sam's tone was sharp, brooking immediate grovelling apology.

"Sorry Guv but I think you will want to see this as soon as possible. A new video of Dawid's just gone up on that website." Sam was out of her chair before Mickey had finished his sentence, striding behind him to where the video was being played in the incident room, away from prying eyes.

"What do we know?" Sam demanded as she entered the room.

"The new video went live on the website a couple of minutes ago. I've been in touch with my contact at CEOPs and they are trying to get a trace on the location of the computer that was used to upload it. He said he'd get back to me as soon as he found anything. The room in the video looks identical though to the last one so assuming it wasn't filmed at the same time, it's hopeful Dawid hasn't been moved – which means whoever has him either doesn't know we're looking for him or feels confident enough that we have no idea where he might be not to need to move him to a new location. The tech guys are going over the video now, looking at the background, trying to identify any landmarks that might be visible in this one that weren't in the other." Grace spoke rapidly eyes averted from the screen and grateful, as were all the rooms occupants, when Mickey paused the playback and shrunk the images of abuse from view. Sam was inordinately grateful to Grace for her quick action, knowing that all that could be done to analyse the video was already being done.

"Mickey, how far have you got with those possible locations Jo identified based on Izzy's statement and sketches?" Sam turned her attention to the sandy-haired man who had fetched her from her office.

"It's slow going Guv, the details Izzy could give us were great but still vague enough to throw up loads of possible locations. Without something else, we're searching for a needle in a haystack." Mickey's voice held a note of regret as he admitted they were still no closer to narrowing down where Dawid could possibly be being held and abused.

"Well let's look again at what we do know; we're looking at some kind of building that is either remote or soundproofed enough to allow this to go on undetected, that building is within the line of sight of a construction that is topped by a dome bearing a cross, given the timeframe between Dawid disappearing and the first video being uploaded to the website, it is highly likely that he is still within the London boroughs somewhere. Have we got anything at all off any of the CCTV cameras in the neighbourhood? Any cars which haven't been tracked down and identified yet? Where are we with finding out about Graham Jenkins?" Sam paced along the front of the conference-style table firing questions at her team, willing them to find something, anything, to enable them to stop the young boy's suffering.

"Jenkins is definitely abroad, I spoke to him at his office in Germany yesterday. He confirmed that he listed his house for rental originally through an agency but then took it away when he caught them taking a larger percentage of the rent than he had agreed with them. He let it privately to a couple, Sandra and Adam Moss and as far as he knows, they still live there – he faxed me copies of the rental agreement he had signed with them and is willing to provide us with proof that he receives payments from Mr Moss of £650 per month in rent. Mr Jenkins claims they're model tenants, never give him any cause for concern and his brother, Michael, checks on the property regularly to make sure they're not trashing it – so I think it's safe to assume that Dawid isn't being held at Jenkins place. I ran a background check on him just to be certain though – no convictions, a couple of traffic violations but nothing that would be a red flag. Michael Jenkins, Graham's brother, is a similar story. A couple of petty theft charges when he was in his early twenties but he's been completely clean for the past 20 years or so." Mickey placed a couple of new photographs up on the board containing details of the Podowski case before continuing, "Sandra Moss, 26 years old, works as a nursery nurse at St Edward's, no prior convictions although her record did show that she was investigated for an allegation of cruelty against a patient in her care when she worked at a nursing home as a cleaner. No formal charges were brought against her due to lack of evidence but she stopped working there just after the allegation. Adam Moss is 34 years old, a self employed electrician. Now he does have a record stretching over the last sixteen years; a couple of theft charges, ABH for which he got a community order, public disorder, disturbing the peace, aggravated burglary and the latest is a wounding with intent charge which earned him a suspended sentence – due to expire in three months time."

"Grace, you and Terry pay a visit to Mr and Mrs Moss, see if they can shed any light on why so many children visit the house and what their connection is to Andrew Kirk. Mickey, see if you can do some more digging from this end on the Moss's; contact Sandra's past employers at the nursing home see if you can get a more candid description of what went on there, something that wasn't recorded in the official files, check Michael Jenkins out thoroughly before we dismiss him being involved. I want details of anyone who has any connection or access to that house. If needs be, I'll talk to DCI Meadows about authorising an obbo to keep the place under surveillance. Mickey, can you also have a word with the tech guys and see if there's any way they can search online maps of the area for landmarks matching those Izzy gave us?" Heads around the room bobbed up and down before the officers attached to them dashed off with renewed vigour. Sam took one final look at the incident board before returning to the quiet sanctuary of her office and sinking into her chair as she let her fears surface that there was nothing to be done to save Dawid. She wondered how far they would be allowed to run with the investigation before they started experiencing interference to prevent them from discovering uncomfortable truths.

* * *

Lucy re-entered the waiting room, in some ways grateful that Sam had been unavailable to answer her phone. The olive-skinned brunette didn't want to be outside for any longer than strictly necessary for fear the nurse might come looking for her whilst she wasn't there and she would miss her chance to see her girlfriend. She had left Sam a brief voicemail message letting her know that Jo was out of surgery and that it had gone as smoothly as they could have hoped to have done. She had barely had chance to sit down again before her name was called and she was escorted in to the intensive care unit, with reassurances that it looked a lot more dramatic than it really was. Jo was surrounded by machinery, all whirring and bleeping and measuring her vital signs. Her eyes were closed and her hair fanned out around her head in stark contrast to the blandly coloured pillow. A thin plastic tube fed oxygen through her nostrils – 'just a little extra assistance is all', the nurse had informed her. A canula was attached to the back of one hand into which a drip delivered a concoction of fluids. Despite all that and despite the grey pallor of Jo's ordinarily vibrant skin, Lucy could not help but think how beautiful she was and silently thanked whoever was listening for returning the brave woman to her side. Lucy took a seat on the opposite side to Jo's IV line and grasped her hand tenderly between both of her own, placing a gentle kiss against her knuckles.

"Hey you, you did it. You got through the operation. You're so strong, Jo, so strong and so brave. I love you so very, very much baby." Tears pricked Lucy's eyes as she observed the comatose woman before her. "I don't know if you can hear me, sweetheart, but I want you to know that I listened to the song just like you instructed. I know that you and only you will be physically going through this and there are a lot of things that I can't share with you but you will never be truly alone. This is not goodbye, it will _never_ be goodbye. For as long as you can stand to have me around, I will be here beside you and I will do everything within my power to help you get through whatever lies ahead. Not just the cancer but whatever lies beyond that too and everything in between; bad days at work, tough cases that get to you, disagreements with colleagues or friends, I'll be here for you." Lucy brought Jo's hand up to her lips once again, caressing her knuckles gently with her thumb before brushing her lips across them in a feather-light touch. "You're my heart, Jo Masters so don't you go getting ideas about going anywhere without me." The fingers of the hand trapped between Lucy's own fluttered slightly before giving a more obvious squeeze as Jo fought to let her lover know that she had heard her. With a beaming smile, Lucy whispered, "that's my girl," before leaning over the bed to place a chaste kiss against the brunette's lips.

* * *

"Hi Sam, it's Lorna." A soft Scottish lilt floated from the tiny earpiece Sam had clasped to her head.

"Hiya Lorna, how's your day going?" Sam was genuinely pleased to hear from the crime scene technician, despite her ongoing confusion regarding the depth of her feelings for the redhead.

"Oh you know, the usual; burglaries, break ins and the like. I was just wondering if you'd heard how Jo's getting on?" In truth, Lorna had been itching to call Sam simply to check that the other woman was alright. She had looked tired and strained that morning when they parted company, crumbling Lorna's resolve to maintain some distance from the diminutive blonde.

"Lucy left me a message earlier to say Jo came through surgery ok and the doctors are tentatively optimistic that they got all the affected tissue. Apparently, she's on ITU at the minute so only immediate family and Lucy are allowed to visit but they think she'll be back on a ward within 24 hours." Sam felt as though one portion of the weight had been lifted from her shoulders as soon as she had heard the message. She had immediately called Lucy back and left her a message asking her to pass on her love and best wishes to Jo and to let her know that she would visit as soon as Jo was feeling up to seeing people. She had ended the message by inviting Lucy over for dinner, knowing that the young woman had had an exceptionally stressful day and would undoubtedly neglect to feed herself if left to her own devices.

"Ah that's excellent news, Sam. How are you holding up? I know today must have been difficult for you as well." The gentle affection in Lorna's voice touched Sam deeply. She found she needed to swallow the lump in her throat before she could respond and even then, her voice was still a little thicker than usual.

"I'm better now I know she's ok but I won't deny that has seemed like one of the longest mornings of my life. Listen, how would you and Katie like to join me for dinner this evening? I invited Lucy over, I think the company would do us both good and I owe you for putting up with me last night." Sam's stomach fluttered in anticipation at the thought of spending a third consecutive evening in Lorna's company, albeit purely social on this occasion.

"Nonsense, you don't owe me anything. That's what friends are for after all; if you can't let yourself be free to be who you are with your friends, then who can you?" Lorna chuckled before asking, "are you sure you want to entertain an overtired twelve year old after the day you've had?"

"Of course I am and I'm sure, between the three of us, we can keep Katie suitably entertained. If she gets too tired, she can always lie down and get some sleep in Jared's room, you're both more than welcome to stay at my place tonight," Sam was quick to assure her friend, not wanting her to feel as though she could not come simply because Katie might tire quickly.

"Oh I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble. I'd love for us to join you for the meal but please don't feel like you have to accommodate us for the night as well." Lorna was caught in two minds, part of her longing to spend the entire night in Sam's company once again but a significant part of her also fearful of how much that thought enticed her.

"It's no trouble at all, the beds are freshly made up from after the last time Abi and Jared were here. How about you bring some overnight things with you and then you can decide once you're here? If you choose to go home, I promise I won't be offended but if you do find you'd be comfortable staying, you'll be perfectly prepared."

"That sounds like a very reasonable compromise, D I Nixon. Alright then, I gladly accept your invitation. What time should we join you?" Lorna conceded, grateful that Sam had offered her a compromise.

"How does 7.30 sound? I can't promise gourmet cooking but I can rustle up something edible at least. Is there anything that you and Katie like in particular that I can cook for you?" Sam wanted to make the evening special, to celebrate Jo's survival with those who cared about her.

"7.30's perfect. If you throw any kind of pizza down in front of Katie, she might very well decide she's moving in with you! I tend to limit her junk food intake but since it is a special occasion, I think we might be able to bend that rule this evening and it is something quick you can chuck in the oven when you get in from work," Lorna advised with a smile, not wanting Sam to have to do a lot of preparation as soon as she arrived home in order to be able to feed her guests.

"Pizza is do-able, will that be ok for you too or I have home-made lasagne in the freezer that I could do for us?" Sam knew she was spinning the conversation out longer than really necessary but the sound of Lorna's voice was soothing her troubled soul.

A throaty laugh sounded on the line. "Sam, if you feed me lasagne, especially home-made lasagne, it won't be Katie who's moving in, it'll be me!"

"Well that's settled that then; pizza for Katie and lasagne for us." Sam's statement earned her another hearty chuckle, a sound she realised she could very easily become addicted to.

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you find the two of us camped out on your sofa." There was a brief pause and then Lorna's tone of voice changed perceptibly, "I'd better go and let you get on with some work and I'll go and see if my tests have finished running yet. I'll see you later, Sam." Reading between the lines, Sam surmised that the Scot was no longer alone and needed to wrap up the call.

"Yes you will, I'll look forward to it. Don't work too hard!" Sam disconnected the call feeling distinctly better than she had all day.

* * *

Lucy reluctantly rose from her place beside Jo. The hospital staff had been exceptionally kind in letting her sit with the slumbering woman as long as she had but she knew that it was time to make a move. Leaning over her lover, she placed a series of gentle kisses across her brow and soothed her silky soft brown hair from her face. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. Behave yourself now, I don't want to come in tomorrow and hear you've been chasing and flirting with the nurses all night, ok? I want you to save all your energy for when I get you home." Jo issued a heavy sigh in her sleep which Lucy opted to take as confirmation that she would behave. "Glad you know what's good for you babe. Sleep well. I'll miss you." Lucy tore herself away, trudging through the corridors and out into the bitter evening air. She pulled her mobile from her pocket and switched it on almost as soon as she left the hospital building. It fired up and nearly instantly the bell tone sounded signalling she had a message waiting for her. Reading it, she discovered that someone had left her a voicemail. She hit the button to call her message box and listened to Sam's voice declaring her delight that Jo was doing ok and asking if Lucy would join her for dinner. Despite how weary she felt, the thought of company appealed to her far more than the idea of going home to her own flat or indeed going straight to Jo's house which would simply serve to remind her of the woman she had had to leave behind in that sterile hospital bed. Glancing at her watch, Lucy was surprised to find it was a little after 7pm. She dialled Sam's number and waited for the older woman to pick up.

"Hi Lucy, everything ok?" Sam knew that the young woman would not take the question literally – not everything could be ok, not until Jo was well and happy once again.

"Hiya Sam, yeah everything's as well as can be. Jo's spent the entire afternoon sleeping, just the occasional moment where she stirred and let me know she knew I was there but she's stable and will be moved back on to the ward tomorrow as long as she remains the same overnight. They're going to scale back the morphine a little tomorrow too so she will probably be a bit more responsive, still groggy and undoubtedly uncomfortable but awake at least some of the time." The blonde woman listened to Jo's girlfriend, hearing the fatigue in her voice after their trying day.

"That's great news, love. How do you feel about having dinner with me tonight? I'll completely understand if you're too tired and just want to have some time to yourself but you are more than welcome to come over. Lorna, a colleague from work, and her daughter will be here, it'll just be lasagne…or pizza if Katie will share with you."

"As tired as I am Sam, I'd just really like to not be alone tonight. If it's not too late to say yes, would you mind if I joined you?"

"Of course not! Your timing is perfect. Lorna is due here at 7.30 so come on over whenever you're ready." Sam rattled off her address, knowing it wouldn't take Lucy many minutes to reach her home from St Hugh's.

"I'm just leaving the hospital now so I guess I'll see you shortly. Want me to pick up anything on the way? A bottle of wine or anything? Some juice or something for Katie?" Lucy felt awkward about the prospect of arriving empty handed.

"Just yourself and your appetite will be fine. Drive carefully and I'll see you soon." The women hung up, each pausing for a moment before rousing themselves to action; Lucy heading to retrieve her car and Sam sliding Katie's ham and pineapple pizza into the oven on the shelf below the lasagne which had already been baking for ten minutes.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Many, many thanks for the wonderful reviews. I don't usually dedicated stories or chapters but I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all the actors and crew who have brought The Bill to our screens over the years without whom, I'd never have met these characters who inspire my muse so. On a more personal note, I'd also like to dedicate this to a wonderful lady whose funeral I attended today following her brave battle against cancer. The sooner a cure for all cancers is found, the better.**_

_**As always, I do not claim to own any characters from The Bill, that privilege belongs to Freemantle Media and Talkback Thames. If I owned them, I'd have taken the show to the web if needs be and continued it as a web-series to make sure it lived on!**_

_**Read, review and enjoy. Whatever you think about the chapter & this story, all feedback, be it good bad or indifferent, will be gratefully received. **_

_**

* * *

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The doorbell rang as Sam was sliding the garlic bread into the already aromatic oven. Quickly closing the door and wiping her hands on a nearby dishcloth, Sam moved to greet her guests, whichever of them had arrived first. Opening the front door, the pocket-sized blonde woman saw an exhausted-looking Lucy leaning heavily against the doorjamb. She reached out to her and beckoned her into the warmth of Sam's house, peeling away her jacket and hanging it behind the door before finding herself enveloped in a crushing hug.

"It's ok love, it's alright." Sam continued to hold Lucy, murmuring heartfelt reassurances to the distraught young woman in her arms as she steered her towards the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Sam, I didn't mean to…" Lucy began but was interrupted by Sam shaking her head.

"Don't you apologise for doing exactly what I asked you to do. You've had a hell of a day, it's been long, it's been fraught and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. This is the very least that I can do for you right now."

"Are your other guests here already?" Lucy felt guilty for monopolising the older woman's time.

"No, not yet, they should be here any time now. Would you like to go and freshen up?" Sam still held a gentle hand on Jo's lover's shoulder.

Lucy nodded with a rueful watery smile, "I must look a complete mess."

"Not at all. Bathroom's first door on the left at the top of the stairs, take all the time you need, ok?" The doorbell rang again as Lucy left the kitchen. Sam waited for her to be a good way up the stairs before opening the door once again and admitting their remaining two dinner companions.

"Hi Sam, the food smells wonderful." Lorna greeted her friend warmly with a brief hug before turning to make formal introductions. "Sam, this is my daughter, Katie. Katie, this is Sam, my good friend and colleague from work."

"Nice to meet you, Katie." Sam smiled gently.

"Hello, nice to meet you too." Katie replied, eyes darting around the entrance hall nervously.

"Why don't you both go through to the lounge, I'll bring us something to drink. What would you like to drink, Katie? I've got Coke, lemonade, orange juice, blackcurrant cordial, apple juice."

"Orange juice, please." The miniature version of Lorna did manage to offer a tentative smile to their blonde host as she replied.

Sam nodded and turned to the girl's mother, "Lorna, how about you? Would you like a glass of wine or I can get you a soft drink or a tea or coffee?"

"Orange juice would be lovely for me too, thanks Sam. Can I give you a hand with anything?" Lorna guided her daughter towards the room Sam had indicated was the lounge.

"No, everything's pretty much ready. Lucy will be down in a few moments and then we can eat. I hope you're both hungry, there's plenty. I'll be through with the drinks in a minute. Make yourselves at home."

Sam fussed about in the kitchen, tweaking the side salad she had prepared to go with the lasagne and fetching the coleslaw she had bought to go with Katie's pizza from the fridge and placing that on the table in the adjoining dining area. When she returned to the kitchen, she spied Lucy hovering in the doorway.

"Hey, want to give me a hand dishing up and serving while I take these orange juices through to Lorna and Katie?" A look of relief crossed Lucy's face at being given something to do, something to focus on. The young brunette nodded and entered the kitchen more fully. "You'll find a pizza slice in the top drawer by the sink and anything else you might need is either in that pot on the side there or hanging up behind the kettle." Sam issued instructions as she filled two tall tumblers with rich citrus juice.

* * *

The evening passed with easy conversation ranging over a wide variety of topics. Katie had taken a while to relax in the company of her mother and two strangers but once she had, the young girl had proven to be insightful and knowledgeable, more than capable of holding her own. Lucy too had begun the evening quietly but had been coaxed out of her shell by Lorna and Sam's combined efforts to engage her in conversation and distract her from her lover's absence. By general consensus, the quartet retired to the lounge after clearing up, opting to continue the evening with a few competitive rounds on the Wii that Sam had invested in to help keep Abi and Jared entertained whenever they visited. Katie had fallen asleep where she had sunk into an armchair to watch as her mother and Sam grow more competitive as they challenged each other to a game of virtual table tennis, each woman trying to put the other off her game in order to win. Lucy observed with amusement, wondering if they realised quite how their easy banter and frequent physical contact appeared to an independent observer. The olive-skinned brunette stifled her own yawn behind a grin as Sam emerged victorious from the latest battle.

"Well played, Sam. Although I still think it's an unfair you had given that it's your game in the first place so you'll have had chance to practice. Lorna, that was an admirable performance for a first timer. Another few games and I think you could have Sam!" Lucy deliberately phrased her praise ambiguously, fairly certain her eyes were not deceiving her.

"All the more reason for a re-match some time soon then," Lorna rejoined with a wry smile.

"Don't think I'll give up my crown that easily!" Sam laughed, nudging the redhead playfully with her shoulder.

"I think all this excitement has worn my daughter out," Lorna mentioned softly as she spied Katie curled up in the generous armchair.

"The bed in Jared's room is made up, why don't you get her settled in there? It'd be better than having to drag her out into the cold and run the risk of waking her up properly." Sam's voice was sincere and warm as she offered accommodation for the night to her guest.

"If you're sure it wouldn't be any trouble?" Lorna found that she really didn't want to leave the smaller woman's company, despite her intentions earlier that day to keep her distance.

"Of course not. It's the second room on the right as you go up the stairs. The bathroom's the door at the end of the corridor, straight ahead of you as you get to the top of the stairs. There are spare towels on the bed, I took the liberty of getting some out for you both in the hopes you'd stay. There's plenty of space, you're welcome to stay as well Lucy – there's a bed in Abi's room and one of you can take my bed."

"I'm not kicking you out of your bed, Sam, the sofa will do me just fine," Lucy exclaimed, aghast that the diminutive blonde would even consider giving up her own bed for her guests.

"Nonsense, I can't invite you to stay and let you sleep on the couch. I've a double bed in my room, if you can put up with sharing and so long as you don't snore like a jet engine, there'll be more than enough space for us all," Sam stated, knowing that she was safer offering to share a bed with Lucy than with Lorna, with whom sleep would be the furthest thing from Sam's mind.

"If you're sure…I'd actually really appreciate not being on my own tonight," Lucy confessed softly, her eyes watering a little as the reality of why she was not with her lover encroached on her conscious mind once again. Sam went to embrace the young brunette tenderly as Lorna roused Katie and led her from the room to get her settled in Jared's bedroom.

Once they were alone, Sam brushed dark bangs back from Lucy's weary face before placing a motherly kiss against her forehead. "Come on you, I think it's time you got into bed as well."

* * *

"I don't care how you do it, just make sure that this latest investigation is stopped before it gets and further." The man's voice was stern and clipped, a sure sign of his fury at the impudence of the latest batch of officers to investigate their enterprise.

"Sir, with all due respect, I cannot order my officers to abandon a missing child investigation without good cause. It would arouse suspicions, not just in those officers but in higher ranks too." Heaton's colour rose in direct correlation with his nervousness in the face of the irate man before him.

"As I said, I don't care how you make it happen, but it must happen or you will be directly responsible for the fate of those asking awkward questions, whomever they might be. We have come too far to allow our secrets to be exposed, we will not stand for it. You have 24 hours to make this go away or we shall be forced to take matters into our own hands." The man dismissed Heaton with a derogatory wave of his hand. Even in his flushed state, there was a sickly pallor to Heaton's face as he considered the implications of the coming hours and what that might mean for his own future. Striding as confidently as he could on shaking legs from the imposing looking room, he rifled through his pocket in search of his mobile phone as soon as he was outside, dialling a number he had used only scant few times before.

"I need to speak to you," he said as soon as the call was connected.

"Good evening to you to. I thought we agreed you wouldn't call unless it was a dire emergency." The voice on the other end of the phone didn't sound at all amused to have her evening interrupted.

"It is a bloody emergency. I need something taken care of; I need a warm body who knows how to keep their mouth shut." The Chief Inspector unlocked his car and climbed inside, sheltering from the bitter evening air.

"How soon?" The woman knew not to ask any questions, knew that the less she knew, the less she would be implicated in should anything go wrong.

"As soon as possible. Within the next 12 hours preferably, 18 hours maximum." Heaton wanted to give himself a few hours leeway in case of any last minute catastrophes.

"I'll contact you soon with a name and a place for you to meet the willing person, make sure you have all the information you need to give them. My terms are the same as always." Without waiting for a response, the woman ended the call and got to work finding a suitable candidate as Heaton blew out a shaky breath and started his car, pulling out into the light late night traffic and heading back to the station to review what was known about the missing child case so far.

* * *

Having made sure Lucy was settled, Sam made her way back downstairs, aiming to clear up from the evening and have a quiet cup of tea before turning in herself. On entering the lounge, she was greeted by the sight of Lorna collecting up dirty glasses and mugs and making to take them through to the kitchen.

"Hey, you're a guest, you shouldn't be the one doing that!" Sam called softly.

Lorna started a little, not having heard Sam enter the room behind her. "Nonsense, I helped make the mess, I wouldn't feel at all right leaving you to clear it up by yourself." Sam grabbed the bowl which earlier had held the popcorn they'd all shared and a stray tumbler before following Lorna through to the kitchen.

"Just throw them in the dishwasher, I'll set it going in the morning after we've all had breakfast. I'm going to have a cuppa before bed, care to join me?" Sam asked her guest as the Scots woman leant over to place her cargo in the dishwasher, affording Sam a clear view of her cleavage. The slim blonde felt her face flush as her abdominal muscles clenched in reaction to the sight and she tore her attention away, concentrating on thoroughly checking the water level in the kettle.

"Oh, that sounds wonderful." In truth, Lorna wanted to check Sam was alright before they turned in for the night, not having had chance to catch her on her own during the evening. "How's Lucy doing? She seems like a lovely young lady."

"She is, she's perfect for Jo, absolutely what she needs to help her through this and to build a life with. They're adorable together, so natural and affectionate. It's hitting Lucy hard, the waiting and the feeling helpless. I just keep trying to assure her that she's doing plenty for Jo just by being there for her, by supporting her and standing by her." Sam reached down more mugs as she spoke, tossing teabags carelessly into them and pulling the milk from the fridge. She held up the sugar pot, silently asking if Lorna took sugar and receiving a shake of the head in response.

"That sounds like the kind of connection we all hope we'll find one day," Lorna commented wistfully.

"Is that the kind of connection you and your husband had?" Sam enquired, genuinely interested to discover more about the older woman. The kettle clicked off and Sam turned her attention to pouring the boiling water into the two mugs she had prepared, letting the teabags steep for a few moments before she added the milk.

Lorna took her time to consider her answer, choosing to wander back through to the lounge and make herself comfortable on the sofa before she spoke. "To some extent, James was my ideal partner but can I say with certainty that if I had been in Jo's position he would have stood by me like Lucy is standing by Jo? No, I don't think I can. James was very stoic, never one to wear his heart on his sleeve. Heck it took me ages to work out that he even liked me! We had a solid, respectful relationship and I did love him and I will always be grateful to him for giving me Katie. Was I in love with him? I've thought about it a lot and the more I think of it, the more I realise that I was in love with the idea of being loved by him. He made me feel wanted, he made me feel safe and I was happy to share my life and my home with him but I never got that butterflies-in-my-stomach type feeling when he touched me or when he simply looked at me, not like I have with… other people since." Lorna was careful to keep her statement gender-neutral whilst censoring herself from admitting she felt stirrings whenever Sam looked at or touched her.

"I know what you mean; obviously you'll have heard about my history with Phil and Stuart, amongst others and whilst it was fun and nice to feel attractive to them, there was just something that always told me I'd be on my own if I found myself in a tough spot. Perhaps it's a man thing, maybe it's because Lucy and Jo are both women that they intuitively know exactly what support they need to give," Sam pondered from her own seat next to Lorna.

"Maybe that's where we're going wrong," Lorna grinned, her tone teasing and jaunty, her eyebrows raised suggestively. Sam blushed and hid her grin behind her mug as she took a sip of her still scalding tea, eyes watering as the liquid burned a path down her throat. The combination of that and the sudden bolt of arousal which had flooded through her at Lorna's words, rendered her voice deeper than normal.

"Oh that it was that easy!" she quipped, voice shaking a little nervously.

"Have you ever thought about another woman that way? About sharing your life with a woman rather than a man, sharing your bed with one?" Lorna pressed gently, leaning towards her companion, head tilted to one side as she awaited the response intently.

"I hadn't, not apart from fleetingly when Jo and I first became close," Sam admitted shyly.

"Hadn't? As in past tense? Meaning that you have now? Or just a turn of phrase and it's something you might consider now the idea has been planted in your mind?" Lorna wondered where her bravery had come from. The thought of Sam declaring she would consider a relationship with a woman both excited her beyond belief and terrified her. If the notion that Sam was unequivocally straight was removed from the equation, it gave Lorna one less defence against acting on her current crush for the diminutive DI.

"Hadn't…until recently, until I met a woman who has made me consider all those things." Sam's eyes darted around the lounge, focusing on anything other than the woman sat beside her.

"Oh." The note of disappointment was evident in Lorna's tone as she heard Sam admitting that there was a woman for whom she had developed some kind of romantic feelings.

Emboldened by their frank discussion and hopeful that the tone was disappointment and not distaste, Sam asked, "have you ever looked at another woman and thought about being with her?"

"Once, but she's unavailable so it doesn't really count for much," Lorna confessed sadly, idly playing with the rim of her mug.

"How do you know she's unavailable? Have you asked her?" Sam suddenly wondered if she had read Lorna wrong, if it was Jo in whom she was interested and not herself but their casual and affectionate banter throughout the earlier part of the evening had led her to at least strongly suspect she was not the only one feeling something.

"Not directly, no," Lorna sighed, wishing she had never started this particular conversation. "It's late, we should get to bed…umm I mean…I should let you get some rest."

"Ask her, Lorna." Sam reached out and caught Lorna gently by the wrist, preventing her from fleeing as she was wanting to do.

"Sam, I… I can't," Lorna cried, trying desperately to wrest her hands from Sam's grip before the tears which were threatening began to fall.

"Yes you can, you can ask me and I will tell you that I recently acknowledged that I have feelings for you; feelings which leave me breathless and excited and petrified all at the same time. And I know that now is not the ideal time to be exploring anything and if you don't want to, we don't need to act on this at all but if Jo's illness has reminded me of one thing, it's that life is too short and we should all take our chances at every tiny shred of happiness which comes our way." Sam took a gamble and laid her heart on the line, caressing Lorna's, now still, hands with her thumbs as she spoke.

"Me? Sam, you… I… me?" Lorna was genuinely shocked to hear Sam's heartfelt admission. Her heart began to thud in her chest as primal instinct overtook her self-restraint. She pulled Sam into her, freeing her hands long enough to wrap them around the shorter woman's frame, holding her to her tightly. She peppered gentle kisses along Sam's head and jaw before she reached full, inviting lips. Looking deeply into Sam's eyes, she drew closer still, their breath mingling and the most feather-light of touches applied. Each woman lost herself in the explosion of sensations, mutually, by silent agreement, deepening the kiss. A tiny groan of pure pleasure escaped from Sam's throat as her hands caressed Lorna's back and sides. Lorna stroked the sensitive skin on the back of Sam's neck with soft fingers, her other palm resting against Sam's hip, holding her close as their tongues duelled for supremacy.

When the need for oxygen forced the women to part, they were both panting and breathless, skin flushed and pupils dilated in tandem arousal. Their eyes locked, each weighing the other up warily, assessing if there was going to be a sudden flood of regrets, recriminations and rejection. Sam leant her head forward, resting her forehead against Lorna's own.

"Wow," she murmured softly. "If I'd known one kiss could feel like that, I'd have kissed a woman a damn sight sooner!" She was keen to break the uneasy tension hovering in the air around them, taking Jo's preferred route and hiding behind humour.

"I don't think just any woman could make a kiss feel like that, Sam. I think that was because it was you and it wouldn't have mattered if you were man, woman or beast." Lorna's words were whispered reverently, her breath tickling the fine hairs at Sam's temple.

"Is it something you want to do again?" Sam's voice held an uncharacteristically uncertain tone as doubts began to seep into her own mind; was Lorna simply curious about what it was to be with a woman? Was she just lonely? Did Sam want to run the risk of opening herself up to be hurt again? What would it mean for them both career-wise if they pursued a relationship?

Rather than answering immediately, Lorna cupped Sam's cheek with an open palm, seeking out her lips once again in a sweet, tender, almost chaste kiss. "Very much so," she replied at length, "but I want us to be able to talk things properly through before we leap into anything." Seeing a faint crease still troubling Sam's brow, Lorna pressed her full lips against it wishing to soothe the other woman's fears and worries. She felt Sam's body relax against her, revelling in the sensation and sense of belonging it brought.

"I'd like that too," Sam murmured, her lips brushing against the sensitive skin of Lorna's neck as she spoke causing a bolt of fire to course through the red-head's body which threatened to test her resolve to the limit.

"But talking is for another time, when neither of us is exhausted or overwrought. For tonight, could I just hold you for a bit, while we drink our tea?" Lorna wanted to cool things down a little for fear of moving too fast and ruining their chance at a lasting, meaningful connection with her impatience.

"That'd be nice, yeah." Sam leant forward, picking up her discarded mug before settling back against the cushions of the couch. Lorna retrieved her own cup from the side table beside her, leaning back against the plush sofa close to where Sam rested. She draped her arm over the back of the settee, making a space which Sam needed no invitation to fill, moving instantly to cuddle against Lorna's warm body, tucking her legs up beside her. The contented blonde felt Lorna drop a sweet kiss against her hair and sighed happily. "Mmm, this I could definitely get used to."

"Me too," Lorna agreed. "I think I've missed this more than I realised, just having someone to be close to." She struggled to put into words how she felt, how wonderful and fulfilling it felt to simply hold Sam against her, to have a warm body in her arms. Sam seemed to understand the sentiment however and snuggled slightly closer still, mumbling her assent. They remained that way, quietly content to just sit with one another, until the last dregs of their drinks had been drunk, neither feeling the need to rush anything or to make pointless small talk.

"I suppose we ought to get some sleep." Suddenly, Sam wished that Lucy wasn't in her bed and she could remain in Lorna's arms all night, despite knowing that would not be conducive to taking things slowly. As soon as the thoughts flitted through her mind, she felt selfish and uncharitable, knowing that Lucy was struggling with not having Jo beside her.

"Yeah, as much as I'm enjoying this, I'd hate for you to be too tired to concentrate on finding that little boy tomorrow." Lorna rubbed her hand across Sam's back tenderly before settling to play with tendrils of her fine, blonde hair.

"Could I be so bold as to request a goodnight kiss?" Sam asked hopefully, her expression sparkling with just the tiniest hint of mischief.

Lorna offered a blinding smile in return. "I'd be offended if you didn't." She leant down and covered Sam's lips with her own, offering a gentle yet passionate kiss to the woman who had unwittingly captured her heart.


	19. Chapter 19

_**I don't own any characters you recognise from The Bill - if I did own the show, I'd still have it on air somewhere, somehow!**_

**_As always, let me know what you think be it good, bad, indifferent or downright ugly. And thank you to all of you still reading this, especially those who take the time to drop in a review._**

**_Enjoy :)_**Sam crawled into bed in the dark room, moving stealthily to avoid waking Lucy up. Her lips still tingled from where Lorna had spent the previous quarter of an hour kissing her goodnight, thoroughly and wonderfully. As she settled back against her pillow and pulled the duvet up around her to ward off the night's chill, her mind wandered back over the evening and its subsequent turn of events. She catalogued the easy tactile nature which had blossomed between herself and Lorna and how natural it had felt to be curled up in her arms. Despite the rational part of her brain threatening to cast doubts on the budding liaison, her heart was singing at the comfort she had found and the level of passion she had felt from a simple kiss. Throughout all of her many relationships, Sam had never been so aroused from just a kiss. Usually, it took much more before she considered herself ready for further physical intimacy but at the first touch of Lorna's lips, Sam had been ready to devour her whole. The ferocity of it scared her more than a little, she feared that she might become so consumed by her desire that she would lose all focus for anything or anyone else. It also crossed her mind that her body was simply reacting to a serious case of lust and, once that had been sated, there would be nothing left to maintain a relationship with the older woman. She hoped against hope that that wasn't the case, the thought of Lorna not being around brought tears to Sam's eyes.

* * *

"You ok?" The soft voice in the dark startled Sam.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," Sam turned her head towards where Lucy was lying on her back.

"You didn't, my brain keeps waking me up," Lucy admitted as she rolled onto her side to face her lover's closest friend. "You seem restless, want to talk about what's on your mind?"

"I don't know, I don't know where to start or what to…" Sam sighed in frustration at her own inability to articulate.

"Is it Lorna?" Lucy asked gently.

Sam's eyes widened in the night time gloom, her eyebrows crawling towards her hairline. "What? How do you know about Lorna?" For a moment, Sam considered the possibility that Lucy, unable to sleep, had come back downstairs and seen herself and the Scot kissing.

"I watched the two of you all evening. For someone who knows the signs, it was pretty clear there was an intense connection between the two of you. Are you and she together?" Resigning herself to staying awake for a while, Sam rolled over to face her inquisitor, propping herself up on one elbow and resting her head on her hand.

"No… yes… maybe, sort of… it's complicated," she babbled earning a soft laugh from her bed companion.

"Well I'm glad we cleared _that_ up!" Lucy giggled.

"Oh shut up, it's alright for you, you know how you feel about Jo and how she feels about you. It's not something new for you," Sam grumbled good naturedly, but the slight tremor in her voice betrayed the truth in her words.

"Falling in love and being attracted to someone, anyone, isn't new to you either Sam. Sure, the fact that this time, you've developed feelings for a woman, might be something new and I'm guessing that acting on those feelings is definitely something new but it's really just part of the same beast. It's all about following your instincts and listening to what your heart and mind are trying to tell you in between the fear and the doubts and the second guessing yourself. Trust yourself, trust Lorna. And talk to one another or to me if you want to work through something, don't dwell on things alone and turn yourself inside out worrying over something that might not need worrying about. And I'm sure that when Jo is back home, she will be more than happy to talk to you about any doubts or concerns you're having, in fact I'm sure she will demand to speak to you and hear all the details for herself!" Lucy found herself once more wondering how her lover was doing.

"You must think I'm so selfish, worrying about my love life when you and Jo are going through something so awful." Sam reached out to Lucy, finding her hand under the covers and holding it in a gesture of support.

"Not at all. In truth, I'm glad you're grabbing a chance of happiness and not wasting time out of some misguided sense of needing to put your life on hold for Jo. Her illness just proves that we all have to live our lives to the full, every chance we get." Lucy squeezed Sam's hand briefly, content to maintain the connection.

"Still, I should be the one supporting you, not the other way around. Want to talk about what's going on in your head that keeps on waking you up?" Sam shifted a little, changing the position of her arm as she felt pins and needles begin to tingle in her fingers from lack of blood.

"I'm just missing Jo. I can't help wondering how she's doing at the hospital; whether she's getting enough rest, whether she's behaving herself for the nurses and doing as she's told. And then I get to thinking about what's facing her, facing us, as she battles to beat this cancer. I'm scared Sam; scared for Jo, scared I'm going to lose her, scared I'll do or say the wrong thing and end up hurting her when it's the last thing I want to do, scared that the disease will win and I'll have to watch her slip away from me a little more every day." Lucy let her fears pour out, feeling safe enough with Sam to let down her guard.

"You're human Lucy, you're bound to feel that way – if it's any consolation, I share many of your same fears. Only time will tell if Jo can get through this but we're never going to give up hope, not until there's none, not one tiny shred of it, left to cling on to and we'll do that by helping each other through it. You can count on me to be there and I'm sure Lorna as well, she cares for Jo a great deal too. And there are many people at work who have a lot of time and respect for her too who will be there if you need anything at all. Like you just told me, talk to people – be it Jo or myself or someone you trust and you're close to – whenever you feel your fears are getting the better of you."

"What am I going to do if I lose her, Sam?" Lucy broke down in tears again as she considered the possibility her girlfriend would not survive the battle.

Sam shuffled closer, gathering the distraught young woman into her arms and holding her close, glad that she had insisted on her staying the night. "You'd survive; you'd go on and live your life in a way that would make Jo proud. Just like you're going to do when she does win the battle and you have her by your side for the next however many years you can put up with her bad jokes and unfathomable love of all things football related." Sam attempted to inject some levity into the conversation, to calm the brunette in order for them to both be able to wind down enough to get some sleep at least. She contented herself with holding Lucy close, allowing her to vent all her tears in Sam's embrace before growing still and quiet, her steady, even breathing signalling that she had succumbed to the need to rest. As Sam too allowed her eyes to drift shut, her last conscious thought was of Lorna kissing her soundly.

* * *

"There'll be a man in a maroon hooded sweatshirt in the alleyway behind the Dog & Partridge pub in Canley at 6.30 tomorrow morning. Tell him what you need him to know, he will do the rest." Strains of classical music drifted through the earpiece, accompanying the woman's smooth voice and soothing Heaton's frayed nerves.

"Good. I presume he's reliable." The police inspector knew he was treading dangerous ground questioning her choice but he needed to be sure that this would happen in order to appease those putting pressure on him to make the investigation go away.

"Of course. This… 'assignment'… is preferable to the alternative on offer to him," he was assured, shortly.

"Excellent. Your fee will be arranged and delivered to you by close of business tomorrow." Heaton gave no further indication of what that fee entailed, nor how it would be delivered. He knew it was neither necessary, nor wise, to discuss such things on an unsecured line. He disconnected the call and poured himself a generous glass of Scotch whiskey, swilling the amber liquid around the tumbler and watching it wash over the ice cubes in its path. He pondered his options, choosing to hold off on confirming the situation could be taken care of until he had actually spoken to the man with whom a meeting had been arranged, not wishing to jump the gun and risk having to face the ire of the Order. He doubted that they would be keen to let one of their prized acquisitions go but assured himself that he could make them see the wisdom of such a course of action. He glanced at the clock, knowing it was late into the night and there was little more he could do but felt the restlessness for which he had found only one cure gnawing away at him. He grabbed his second mobile, the one he kept purely for this reason alone and always paid cash for when he topped it up, not wanting a contract or any paper record in his name associated with it. Hitting the speed dial he had assigned the telephone number to, he listened to the dialling tone and waited for the call to connect.

"Good evening, London Leisure Services, how may I help you?" The voice sounded slightly bored, as though it was a slow and dreary night to be working the phones.

"Mr Adams here, customer number H3870N. Are there any appointments available tonight, say in the next half hour or so?" Heaton's palms sweated in anticipation, the thought of securing a service causing a thrill of anticipation to flow through him.

"Let me just check the diary for you, sir." He heard the clicking of keys as the telephonist entered his reference into her computer. Moments later, "is it your normal leisure package you're interested in this evening, sir?" Heaton knew his past history and preferences were stored in the company's database, a thought which made him slightly nervous as he thought of the possibility of that information ending up in the wrong hands.

"Yes please, if possible," he answered, taking another sip of his whiskey.

"And will you be requiring a commemorative DVD? There's a special offer on this month which includes a feature length DVD of your experience for half the normal price."

Heaton thought about that for a moment, weighing up if the risk of owning a DVD was worth it in case he was unable to secure their services for a period. "Yes, I think I will take advantage of that offer."

"Excellent, sir, I'm sure you will be satisfied with all aspects of your experience. I've booked you in at the usual place, your appointment begins in twenty minutes and will be charged to your account in the usual way. Enjoy your night Mr Adams." Heaton disconnected the call and drained the rest of his whiskey, hoping that no overzealous traffic officer would stop him en route to his destination. He swiftly changed into something more suitable for the impending activities before he made his way to the garage to retrieve the unobtrusive car he had registered in the name of Michael Adams. Anonymity on evenings such as this was very important to him. The stakes were too high to consider anything less.

* * *

Sam awoke as a body beside her stirred. At some point during the night, she had ended up being spooned by the young brunette with whom she was temporarily sharing her bed and whilst she did wish for it to be an alternative companion, the feeling of waking up in someone's arms was not an unwelcome one. She squinted at the clock, allowing her head to flop back down onto the pillow while her senses accepted that it was in fact morning. Lucy had woken another couple of times, clinging to Sam as though she were her only lifeline and sobbing her heart out. Sam herself had joined her on one occasion, giving in to the fears she too held for Jo's welfare, which combined with the stress of the Podowski case and her confusion around her feelings for Lorna left her spent and weary. She slowly moved to disentangle herself from Lucy's arms, her sense of obligation driving her to be the first one up so that she could cater for her overnight guests.

"What time is it?" Lucy's voice was still sleep-laden and reminded Sam of her daughter when she first awoke.

Sam turned around to look at the drowsy young woman, a gentle smile gracing her own tired face at the sight of the dark unruly hair framing a creased brow and tiny pout. "It's a little after seven, why don't you go back to sleep? You must still be shattered. I'm just going to put some coffee on but it'll keep for whenever you want to get up so stay as long as you want to."

"Thanks Sam, for everything. I really appreciate your support, especially since you hardly know me and…" The enigmatic blonde cut off any further words with her fingertips as she pressed them to Lucy's lips.

"I know all I need to know about you to know that I'd be letting Jo down badly if I didn't help you to help her. I'd have to be blind not to see that you're the best thing to happen to her in a long, long time. Now sleep. I'll come and wake you for breakfast in a while if you're not up." Lucy nodded as she stifled a yawn, closing her eyes and sinking back beneath the bedcovers, her body succumbing to the overwhelming need for more sleep. Sam watched her for a moment or two longer before making her way to the bathroom to freshen up. She pulled on a well worn fluffy robe and soothed a hand through her short blonde hair to try and tame the worst of it before venturing down the stairs and into the kitchen. She busied herself setting the dishwasher going and preparing a pot of filter coffee, paying no attention to her surroundings.

"That coffee smells wonderful. Are you really trying to make me want to never leave?" Lorna's voice sounded close to Sam's ear, making her jump slightly, not having been aware of the other woman's approach.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that when they have pots of hot liquid in their hand, it could lead to a nasty accident!" Sam warned lightly, feeling a little awkward as she wondered what the current correct protocol was for the morning after making out like a teenager. "Did you sleep ok?" Sam resorted to falling back on being a gracious hostess, making small talk and pouring Lorna a mug of the freshly brewed coffee along with her own.

"I did, thank you. How about you?" Lorna noticed that Sam was having difficulties making eye contact, her heart falling at the prospect of being told that the previous evening had been a mistake. In truth, she had spent quite some considerable time lying awake, replaying the night's events in her mind before sleep had found her. Even in slumber, dreams of Sam had followed, leaving Lorna with a craving to hold her close once again.

"I've had more restful night's, I'll admit but Lucy needed someone and I think I did too. Do you take milk or sugar in your coffee?" Sam still focused on her beverage-making duties rather than looking at her guest.

"Just a dash of milk, thanks." Lorna gratefully accepted the steaming mug containing her aromatic morning brew, inhaling its scent deeply and releasing a contented sigh. "Are we going to talk about last night or would you rather chalk it up to experience and forget it ever happened?" Lorna asked at length when the silence became too stifling to bear.

"Lorna…I'm sorry…I…" Sam stuttered, struggling to put her confusion into words. A large part of her simply wanted to sink into the tall, willowy Scots body but she had nagging fears which prevented her from giving in to her yearning. "I don't know what I do want but I know I don't want to lose you," she admitted shyly.

"That won't happen, no matter what we decide this is between us. First and foremost, Sam, you're a good friend." Lorna deliberately placed her mug on the worktop and moved closer to her blonde host. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy what happened last night. I can't deny that kissing you was incredibly sensual. That said, I'm not about to push you into doing anything you don't want to do. If you tell me that you want us to just be friends, I'll respect that but I will always be here for you in whatever way you need me to be regardless of what you decide." As she finished speaking, Lorna noticed Sam was shaking. Her heart was torn between reaching out to the smaller woman or holding back, not sure if physical contact would be welcomed or if it would be too much for Sam to deal with.

"I'm scared, Lorna. How pathetic is that?" Sam confessed, her face downcast.

"It's not pathetic at all and if it helps at all, I'm petrified!" Lorna angled her body slightly further towards Sam but was still sure to give her plenty of space to escape if she so chose.

Sam's questioning gaze swung up to meet Lorna's slate grey eyes, "you are?"

"I am. This is a big thing for me, Sam, I haven't even considered a relationship of any kind with anyone since James…and never before have I been attracted to a woman. I'm in completely foreign territory here," Lorna confirmed sincerely.

"But you would be interested to see where this could go between us?" Sam couldn't keep the faint note of hope out of her voice.

"I would, if you're agreeable to that but if you'd rather forget the whole thing, I'll understand."

"Can we take it slowly and see how things develop? I do want to give whatever this is a chance. Life's too short not to take a few risks," Sam stated determinedly, edging closer to Lorna even as her heart hammered at the thought of what they were proposing to begin. The redhead tentatively opened her arms, reaching out to envelope Sam in a warm, tender embrace, breathing a sigh of relief and contentment when the petite blonde slid into the space she had created.

"We can take it as slow as you like, slow is good with me." The two women cuddled closer, relishing the feeling of being in one another's arms again and each silently hoping they could make something work between them.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Ok so next part is up. As always, any characters you recognise from The Bill are not mine, I'm just pulling them out of storage, dusting them off and giving them an airing for a little while. Promise I'll put them back, still as poor as I am now, when I've finished putting them through the proverbial ringer._**

**_Please do let me know what you think, if you're still hanging in there reading this fic. And thanks to all those who have reviewed/read. Enjoy :)_**

"There's no other option, the boy must be released, alive, or there is no way that I will be able to convince any of my officers to drop his case." Heaton implored his contact to understand that his proposal was the only logical course of action given the circumstances and the awkward questions that were beginning to be asked. His meeting that morning had been tense as he sought assurances that there would be no chance of any comebacks, nothing which could jeopardise the existence of the Order.

"Our clients will not be pleased to loose such an asset so soon after acquiring him," the man persisted tetchily.

"I understand that but I'm sure it will be preferable to them than a visit from the officers in charge of this investigation would be. You knew it was a risk when the boy was taken, it should never have been allowed to become personal. By keeping it anonymous and non-traceable the Order has survived many previous close encounters. With this one infraction, it has opened the whole Order to the risk of discovery. If you want to be annoyed with someone, I suggest you look to the one who arranged for the boy's capture." Heaton barked, letting his own frustration show at being dragged into the centre of the mess. "Now, the boy will be delivered to that address along with the paraphernalia to make it look like he has been kept there the whole time. Once the scene is set up, a 'neighbour' will anonymously telephone the police and report their suspicions that they know where the boy is being held. Nothing will be traced back to us so long as you make sure the payment terms are met by close of business today. I suggest we stop wasting time and get to work putting an end to this. And I strongly suggest refraining from posting any further new videos for a day or two until we can be sure that all monitoring of the website has been closed down."

"A wise suggestion, I will certainly put it to the Order and impress upon them the wisdom of such action. Keep me informed of any complications at your end and we shall see to it that the rest is taken care of." The two men ended their call, each of their minds racing with the implications and the consequences of the plan they were to execute. Both knew that it was for the best but couldn't avoid the frisson of disappointment that coursed through their veins at having to backtrack. Heaton straightened his uniform jacket, taking one last look in the mirror to assure himself there was no trace of the guilt he felt to be seen and left his home ready to face a new day at Sun Hill station.

* * *

"Good morning, I was calling to see how Jo Masters is doing? I'm her partner, Lucia Sorella." Lucy toyed nervously with a loose thread on the cushion she was slumped against as she waited for news of her lover.

"Miss Masters had a comfortable night; she slept well and has had some toast for breakfast this morning. The doctor will be doing rounds shortly so we'll know more later today but it's looking likely that Miss Masters will be moved onto one of the oncology wards to continue her treatment." The nurse sounded busy but patient for which Lucy was grateful. It had taken all of her willpower to hold off on calling the hospital until after breakfast, at Sam's insistence that she eat something.

"Would it be possible for me to visit Jo briefly this morning before I go to work?" Lucy asked hopefully, almost overwhelmed by her need to see the brunette for herself, to see with her own eyes that Jo was indeed pulling through after her operation.

"I'm afraid that's not possible. If you call back later in the day, someone should be able to advise you of which ward Miss Masters is being moved to and what time visiting hours are. Would you like me to pass a message on to Miss Masters for you?" The nurse was apologetic but knew that no visitors would be admitted to the ICU unless the patient they were visiting was in a critical condition.

"Could you just let her know that I phoned and I'll see her later?" Lucy tried to mask the distress in her voice, tears threatening to fall, knowing that the nurse was simply doing her job and not trying to be obstructive but hating the enforced separation all the same. The young sounding woman assured Lucy that her message would be delivered before hanging up to attend to her patients. Lucy curled into a tighter ball in the arm chair in which she sat, wrapping her arms tightly around her knees and pulling them as close as she could to her chest, trying to fight off the sudden shiver of cold that washed over her. The tears she had been trying to stem trickled down her smooth olive cheeks leading her to bury her face in the gap between her knees and her chest.

Sam trailed after Lorna and Katie as they made their way to the front door. Lorna glanced into the lounge, intending to say a brief goodbye to Lucy but the sight of the young woman's distress had her veering off course and crouching down beside her, all thoughts of leaving fleeing her mind only to be replaced by fears that Jo had taken a turn for the worse overnight. Seeing Lucy herself moments after Lorna, Sam joined the two women, her own face reflecting Lorna's worries back at her. Katie hung back awkwardly, not knowing what was going on or why the young woman she had enjoyed chatting with the previous evening was so upset.

"Lucy, honey, what did the hospital say? Is Jo ok?" Sam spoke softly, not wanting to startle the younger woman. She rubbed a hand across the back of her shoulders soothingly, exchanging concerned glances with Lorna when Lucy simply released a quiet sob. "Lucy, please, talk to us." Lorna could hear a hint of desperation creeping into Sam's voice and reached for the blonde's free hand, squeezing it supportively.

"I can't visit her… they won't let me see her until she's moved to a ward later," Lucy finally replied at length, misery lacing her voice. Sam felt relief wash through her to hear that Lucy's distress was not caused by a deterioration in Jo's condition.

"We'll find a way to make the time pass and you'll be able to see her before you know it," Sam hastened to assure the younger woman that she wouldn't be alone, that if she wanted company, Sam was willing to offer it to her for as long as she needed.

"I just miss her so much Sam and I really wanted to see her, just for a few minutes so I can see for myself that she really is ok. I've got to work this morning but I've no idea how I'm going to concentrate to get anything done." Lucy fixed a watery gaze on the two older women looking her with such compassion it made a few more tears trickle over her smooth cheeks. She watched Sam nod in understanding, surprised when it was Lorna who answered.

"You might find it easier than you think to throw yourself into your work, to lose yourself in it and use it to block everything else out. And when you do that, time passes in the blink of an eye. That tricky problem you've been trying to tie down that you were telling us about last night, why don't you give that another go and see if you can't get to the root cause of it? I'll bet you'll be surprised at how quickly time will go and then it'll be time for you to ring the hospital back, see which ward Jo's on and visit with her." Sam couldn't help but wonder if that had been how Lorna had dealt with James' death, by throwing herself wholeheartedly into her work, into mothering Katie, into anything and everything in order to avoid dealing with the realisation that her husband would never be coming home again. She was suddenly very grateful to the Scot for being there and for speaking up. "And you have Sam's number, I'll gladly leave you mine so any time it threatens to get to you, pick up the phone to one of us and we'll be there to talk to for as long as it takes. I know Sam has to head to work shortly, but I'm not in work until this afternoon so don't not call just because you think we're busy, ok?"

"Thank you," Lucy gushed as she awkwardly semi-unfolded herself and reached out to wrap Lorna in a swift hug. "You are so different to my friends, they'd be telling me to get my shit together and stop whining!" Lucy attempted to joke as she pulled Sam too into a tight embrace.

"Well I could do that too if it would make you feel better?" Lorna quipped wryly, earning a genuine chuckle from Lucy.

"I think I like your own brand of comfort better," the brunette admitted a little shyly.

"Good, because I don't think I could pull off the heartless bitch act very well." Lorna watched both Sam and Lucy's eyebrows shoot up and she cast a glance in the direction of her daughter smiling before she told Katie, "you didn't just hear me say that although I'm sure there are occasions when you'd disagree with the sentiment!"

"Mum! I never… I know you're not heartless, no matter if we fall out sometimes." Katie looked genuinely distressed that Lorna would think her worthy of such thoughts until she saw the older version of herself winking at her. "A slave driver sometimes and totally out of touch," she continued with a dramatic roll of her eyes. Peels of laughter rang around the room from the three older women at the pouting pre-teen's words.

When they had calmed, Sam turned the conversation back to Lucy, "seriously Luce, if your friends won't support you through something like this without expecting you to be able to switch off your feelings, they're not very good friends to have. I know we all need someone sometimes to just tell us bluntly to get a grip but this is not one of those occasions. Now we won't let you drown in a sea of self-pity, but Lorna and I will never be as callous as to expect you to just shrug off your feelings about Jo or her illness."

"And any time you get fed up of the oldies, I'll be more than happy to whoop you're ass on the Wii again," Katie piped up, earning a stern glare from her mother which was completely undermined by the adoring grin accompanying it at the young girl's attempt to offer what support she could too.

"You're all amazing," Lucy told them, feeling far more put together and capable of facing the day without falling apart.

"Why don't you run upstairs and finish getting ready for work?" Sam was aware of time marching on and knew that both herself and Lucy needed to be making a move shortly if they were to stand any hope of arriving on time. Lucy excused herself and Lorna rose to her feet again, making another attempt to leave Sam's house only to find herself pulled into a warm hug. "Thank you for that, Lucy's right you are amazing," the blonde whispered into Lorna's ear as she held the Scottish woman close. Their embrace was chaste and over too soon for either of their liking but both were conscious of Katie standing only a short distance away.

"Thank you for dinner last night, Sam and for letting us stay over. It was nice meeting you." The young girl tentatively approached the diminutive blonde her mother seemed close to, not sure if she should also hug her or not.

"You're welcome. It was lovely meeting you too, Katie." Sam too felt unsure of how tactile she should be with the young girl, who knew nothing of the blossoming relationship between Sam and her mother. She settled for smiling warmly and gently squeezing her slim shoulder. Lorna draped her arm around her daughter's shoulders as Sam let go and manoeuvred her towards the front door, not wishing to be the reason Sam was late to work.

"I'll give you a call later, see how Jo's doing," Lorna informed Sam as she opened the door and ushered Katie through it. The two older woman shared a charged look before Sam nodded and closed the door behind them.

"She adores you, you know that right? Tell me you guys did actually talk about that thing between you this morning?" Lucy had slipped back down the stairs as Sam was letting Lorna and Katie out and had witnessed the silent exchange between them.

"We did and we're going to take it slowly but we both want to see what there is between us and where it might lead," Sam admitted with a soft smile, feeling her cheeks burning slightly.

"I'm really pleased for you both. She seems like a wonderful woman and Katie is adorable." Lucy offered Sam a genuine smile as she gathered her bag and belongings together in readiness to leave.

* * *

"Mum, are Lucy and Jo in love?" Katie posed a question which had been at the back of her mind since she had seen how upset Lucy was about Jo being in hospital.

"They are, very much so, yes," Lorna answered, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Does it bother you that they're both women?" Katie kept firing her questions out, never having really discussed relationships of any kind with her mother.

"Not at all. Love is love and anyone to find it is very lucky." Lorna paused for a moment before asking, "does the thought of two women being in a relationship bother you?"

"I'd never really thought about it, I just assumed that everyone was like you and Dad were. How come some people are attracted to their own gender?" There was no disparaging note in the girl's voice, just a pure desire to know what drew some people to enter relationships that were not considered 'the norm'.

"Attraction is something very personal to each person – what might be attractive to me, you might not find attractive. No one knows for certain what causes us to feel the way we do about certain people or why what we find attractive in a person might change over the course of our lives."

"Do you think anyone can develop feelings for anyone then? That any of us might be capable of having feelings for someone else regardless of their gender?" Had they been having this conversation a few weeks previously, Lorna would have denied it but her own recent experiences had led her to reconsider the fluidity of sexual preference.

"I think that it would be a shame for anyone to close themselves off to any chance of knowing a happy, loving relationship because they were too scared to consider acting on an attraction to someone of the same gender if it happened. But again I think it all depends on the individual person; some people go through life knowing who they want to have relationships with and never have that challenged, others are open to trying anything and then there are some who think they know what they want until someone comes along and changes their mind." Lorna coasted to a stop at a set of traffic lights, glancing across at her pensive daughter. "This is a very deep conversation for this early in a morning, what's brought this on?"

Katie shrugged, turning to look out of the window as her cheeks grew warm. "Lucy and Jo's relationship just got me thinking is all."

Suspecting that there was a great deal more to the young girl's inquisitive questioning, Lorna opted to back off a little but made sure to leave the door open in case Katie wanted to discuss it further, "whoever you develop feelings for, whenever you do, you will know if it feels right to act on those feelings and no matter who you do care for, you can always talk to me about it. I promise I will never judge you, no matter who you want to share your life with."

Katie was silent for a while but as the lights changed, she asked, "don't you ever get lonely, Mum? You've been on your own since Dad died, don't you ever wish you had someone to love you again?"

Lorna had to wonder if her daughter was perceptive enough to have picked up on the underlying attraction between herself and Sam. "A little sometimes and perhaps one day it will happen but I've never been alone because I have you and the love that you give me."

"But that's not the same as loving someone your own age. I do love you Mum but sometimes, I just want you to find someone to make you happy, someone you can share adult things with so you don't have to do it all on your own. Does that mean I'm being unfair to Dad?"

"No, no sweetheart it doesn't mean anything of the sort. I'm sure your dad would be very proud of how grown up and caring his little girl is getting to be. I know that I am." Lorna felt a lump in her throat as she listened to her daughter expressing her concerns regarding Lorna's own happiness.

"I don't think he'd want you to spend the rest of your life without love just because of what happened to him, not if he loved you at all. If I loved someone and I knew I wasn't going to be around for them, I'd want them to find someone else to make them happy. Promise me, Mum, that you'll stop being closed off to the idea of letting someone love you?" Katie turned in her seat so that she was partially facing Lorna, eyes imploring her to make the promise sincerely and not simply pay lip-service to her request.

"Baby, I promise you that I am open to the idea of being loved and loving someone in return," Lorna assured her daughter.

"Good, 'cause I like Sam, she's cool." Katie dropped the comment casually as she reached for the door handle and exited the car which had pulled up outside of her school. "See you later, Mum. Have a good day. Love you," she called with a grin as she bolted, slamming the door shut behind her and leaving a shell-shocked Lorna in her wake.

* * *

**_Until next time, don't resist too hard the urge to press that button and leave a few thoughts ;)_**


	21. Chapter 21

**_Another new chapter. As always, I own very little from this story - the plot I'll tentatively lay claim to and a few characters such as Lucy, Dawid & family etc, anyone you recognise from the telly, well obviously they're not mine. But they were getting lonely in storage so I reached them out to have a bit of exercise. I promise to put them back when I'm through and can guarantee I'll be every bit a pauper as I am right now! So you could try suing me but I really wouldn't recommend it unless you like the challenge of getting blood from a stone._**

**_Thank to those who have read and special thanks to those who have taken the time to review as well, you have no idea how much it warms my heart and feeds my muse. Feel free to drop me a line with your thoughts about this one too. Next chapter will be up once I've had chance to review it and get rid of any glaring errors, plot snags etc. _**

**_Enjoy and thanks for sticking with this._**

* * *

"Guv, we've had a call from Crimestoppers. Apparently they got an anonymous tip off a little while ago about a possible location for where Dawid's being kept." Mickey breathlessly burst in through Sam's door without knocking, daring to hope that they were about to catch a break in their case finally.

"Where?" Sam asked immediately, turning a blind eye to Mickey's ignorance of proper protocol in her haste to investigate.

"37 Marlborough Avenue; it's a detached house on the new development at the back of the Canley estate, owned by Craig Fenton, an investment banker who's recently run into hard times, lost his job with Phillips Providential a month ago. He's a registered sex offender - his ex-girlfriend caught him molesting her 8 year old son from a previous relationship. The caller said he'd seen a boy matching Dawid's description through one of the windows when he was walking his dog this morning. The very fact that a child has been seen in the house of a known sexual predator is red flag enough to warrant a visit, isn't it?" Mickey filled Sam in as thoroughly as he could while they walked briskly through to the incident room.

"It is. Find Grace and Kezia, I'll speak to Inspector Gold and see if we can borrow some uniformed officers." Sam was unwilling to get her hopes up that they would find the child alive and relatively unharmed. It all seemed too easy, too neat, almost as if someone or something was trying to divert them from the course the investigation had been taking. Their enquiries into the Moss's and into Jenkins had drawn very little of any use beyond Adam Moss admitting that he ran an unauthorised youth drop-in centre for kids from the school. Sam strongly felt that it was simply a convenient lie, admitting a small misdemeanour to avoid further questioning and then suddenly a sighting of Dawid leading them in a completely different direction. At no time had the name Craig Fenton cropped up, he had no obvious connection to the Podowski's nor the Moss's or Jenkins from what Mickey had told her. The pictures of Heaton with the young child nagged at the back of Sam's mind, leading her to be ultra suspicious of anything illogical. She was a great believer in the old adage that if something seemed too good to be true, it generally was. Right at that moment though, all she could be concerned about was getting to Dawid, or whoever the child sighted was, before any further harm came to them.

* * *

"Good morning Jo, how are you feeling today?" Mr Dendryck stood beside the brunette's hospital bed, her open chart in his hands.

"Peachy," Jo snarled grouchily, not feeling in the mood to answer questions or to be poked and prodded. She was in pain from the operation and had a raging headache from the almost stifling heat of the hospital ward. "When do I get to bust out of this joint?"

"All in good time, all in good time. I need to take a look at your surgery site, make sure it's settling down as it should and then we're going to review your pain relief, see if we can't lower the dosage for you, stop you feeling so groggy all the time." The surgeon was used to his patients struggling with depression following the operations he performed and dealt with it by being direct in his explanations, encouraging them to separate the facts from their emotions for as long as it took to be examined.

"Do whatever you need to," Jo sighed, resigned to having no control over a body that no longer even felt like it was hers. As a nurse drew the curtains around the bed to afford them a little privacy while the surgeon examined Jo's wound, the brunette turned her face away, unwilling and unable to bring herself to look upon her mutilated chest. She felt the flimsy gown she wore being peeled back followed by the pull of the adhesive reluctantly separating from her skin as the man carefully removed the dressing.

"Excellent, that's looking exactly like we would hope for it to look at this stage in your recovery. Just a little swelling, some discolouration and redness but nothing that's not to be expected. How is the pain this morning? How would you describe it?"

Jo knew that the surgeon was simply doing his job but still had to bite back a snappish retort about feeling like she had been sliced open, had the contents of her breast removed with a spoon and then crammed back in by some ham-fisted moron. Instead, she settled on a sullen, "it's bearable," keeping her head resolutely turned away.

"Well, the good news is that we can get you moved onto a ward where your family and friends can visit you and I'll let the oncologists know you're ready to look at beginning the chemotherapy and radiotherapy regime they've decided on." The surgeon indicated that the nurse should exchange the dressing for a new one and turned his attention back to his patient's chart.

"I don't want visitors." Jo's tone was determined but weary, a single tear trickling onto the pillow from her now closed eyes.

"Let's get you settled on the ward first, you might feel differently once you've had time to get your bearings." Mr Dendryck made a note on Jo's chart for her mood to be monitored closely and suggesting the possibility of MacMillan nurse or psychiatric intervention if necessary.

* * *

Lorna sat on her couch in the silent house cradling a steaming hot mug of coffee and mulling over the changes that had occurred in the last few days; the revelations regarding Heaton and his involvement in some kind of child pornography ring, Jo's operation and the implications of her cancer, the swift change in her relationship with Sam. As soon as her thoughts turned to the petite blonde detective, Lorna's heart started to pound, recalling Katie's casual parting shot. Katie knew about her feelings for Sam. The thought startled the redhead and filled her with a sense of uncontrollable panic. She had hoped to shield her daughter from her new 'relationship', if it could even be called that, until such a time as she was sure of where it was heading and if it was safe to let Katie form any kind of attachment to Sam. The last thing she wanted was for Katie and Sam to grow close only for Sam to then disappear from their lives if the connection between herself and the other woman didn't last the distance. Katie had already known too well the pain of loss in her short life and Lorna would do anything she could to spare her from having to go through that again. The Scot cursed herself for letting her emotions run away with her, for forgetting, however briefly, her responsibilities and the effect a relationship with a woman might have on her daughter. While Katie had seemed flippantly alright with the idea in theory, being faced with the reality could well prove to be a whole different thing. Lorna was close to Katie, they had only had one another for such a long time following James' death, and the mother was reluctant to let anything jeopardise their bond. She vowed to speak to Katie at length about the whole situation and if she caught so much as a hint of discomfort with the idea of her pursuing Sam, Lorna would suppress whatever feelings she might have and back away from Sam. It would be hard and it would be painful, especially with them having to work together – closely if they were to get to the bottom of the pornography ring – but her daughter's welfare and happiness came first and foremost. That, at least, was something she was sure Sam would understand, being a mother herself.

* * *

Everyone was in position and anxiously awaiting the order to proceed. Sam strode up to the front door of the innocuous-looking house and banged on it sharply. A groggy man who looked to be in his early 30's opened the door a short way, peering out with a scowl.

"Craig Fenton?" Sam enquired brusquely.

"Yeah, who wants to know?" The gravel in the man's voice suggested the officers had woken him up, which Sam hoped meant that he had not been tipped off and moved any child he had inside the house to another location.

"Detective Inspector Nixon, Sun Hill Police. Mr Fenton, we have a warrant to search your house." Sam handed over the copy of the warrant for their suspect to read, indicating that the uniformed officers could move forward and begin their search. The man meekly moved aside allowing the officers into his home without putting up any kind of resistance. Sam, once again, suspected something not to be right with his reaction, the lack of denial of wrongdoing or attempts to evade arrest seemed too passive for a suspected paedophile of this magnitude. Either that or the man was arrogantly deluded and thought they would find nothing with which he could be charged.

"DI Nixon?" The sound of a male voice drew Sam's attention and she hurried off in the direction from which it had come. Officers stood at the top of a narrow flight of stairs leading to a sub-basement, below ground level of the house. "No sign of the boy yet but I'd hazard a guess that down there is where he was filmed." Sam ventured down the sturdy steps into a room which had been transformed into some kind of dungeon-come-bedroom, complete with numerous sex toys and implements which brought tears to her eyes just looking at them. The room did bear many similarities to the one in which Dawid had been videoed being abused but Sam was not as convinced as her officers.

"Guv, they've found something upstairs." Another voice drew her back up the stairs into the hallway and on up another flight of stairs.

"Mickey, what have we got?" DC Webb spun around as he heard Sam addressing him and stepped aside to reveal a trembling Dawid on a bare mattress in a corner of a room whose door had been forcefully opened. The blonde detective took in the wide eyed, glassy expression of the young boy and stepped forward to approach him cautiously, not wishing to scare the child any further.

"Hi Dawid, my name's Sam and I'm a police officer." She kept her voice soft and gentle, keeping her distance until she was sure the boy was not threatened by her. "Your mum and sister sent me to find you, they've been very worried about you. Would you like me to take you to them?" Sam watched a weary resignation settle on the boy's features, an expression far too old for his age.

"But I was good, I did what I was told. I don't want to do it again, it hurts." Dawid started crying and wrapped his arms around his tiny body tightly, burying his face in the cocoon between his knees and chest. Sam thought she spied blood on his pyjama bottoms and knew she would have to work on getting him to trust her so that he could be checked medically.

"Is that what they told you before? The people who hurt you?" Sam queried, needing to know the levels of deception which had been used to dupe Dawid into co-operating. She watched as he nodded tearfully, expression still suspicious and wary of the blonde woman. "Well I'm going to make a telephone call and get your mum on the phone so you can speak to her and she can tell you herself, would that be ok?" Again she was greeted with a hesitant nod. Maintaining her distance, so as not to crowd Dawid, Sam pulled her mobile phone out of her pocket and dialled the number for Sun Hill station, asking to be put through to CID as soon as her call was connected.

"DS Turner, Sun Hill CID," the voice intoned on the other end of the line.

"Stuart, it's Sam. I need you to bring Mrs Podowska to the telephone, there's someone here who needs to speak with her." Sam bit back the string of things she would have liked to say to the man who had answered the phone but knew that must wait for a more appropriate time and place.

"Have you found the boy?" Stuart pressed for information, wanting to know if he could be the one to report back to Heaton that Dawid was no longer missing.

"I don't have time to waste, DS Turner, please just get Mrs Podowska to the phone, now." Sam had left instruction for Dawid's family to be brought to the station, in case the tip off led to Dawid being found. She listened as the phone hit the desk at the other end and could hear Stuart muttering about being frozen out and taken for granted, his words growing fainter as he retreated from his desk.

It was only short moments later that Sam heard a breathless voice in her ear, "Dawid?"

"Mrs Podowska, this is DI Nixon. I'm going to pass my phone over to Dawid now so you can let him know he's safe coming with me." Sam extended her arm holding the mobile phone towards Dawid who shuffled slightly closer in order to reach out for it. He kept a careful eye on Sam as he took the device, body taut in readiness to flee if she tried anything.

"Mama?" The next few minutes passed by in a blur of tears and the young boy rapidly talking in his native tongue with his mother, all the while watching Sam. She saw the distrust evaporating from his eyes as his mother assured him that he could trust the lady who had given him the phone and that they would see him very soon. The call ended and Dawid launched himself at his saviour, burrowing as close as he could into her side and wrapping his short arms as far as he could around her waist. "Thank you," Sam heard him murmur as fresh tears coursed down his cheeks. She felt her heart wrench at the sincerity in his voice and found herself gently holding him to her body. Knowing that it was cold outside, Sam took the flimsy sheet with which Dawid's makeshift bed had been covered and wrapped it around him before picking him up and cradling him to carry him down the stairs and out to the waiting ambulance. She left instructions with Grace and Mickey to arrest Craig Fenton, stating that she would be accompanying the traumatised child to the hospital. She asked that officers be arranged to bring Dawid's family to the hospital too so that they could be reunited as soon as possible. Despite her misgivings surrounding the circumstances of Dawid's return, she allowed herself to heave a sigh of relief that at least he would be back with his family before long.

* * *

Lucy walked purposefully through the hospital corridors, negotiating her way to the ward on to which she had been told Jo was moved. She stopped by the desk to introduce herself to the staff on duty and to ask where she could find her lover.

"Jo's in bay 5, just round the corner here. Before you see her, she did ask us to refuse admittance to any visitors so you might get a bit of a rough reception." The middle-aged nurse had a kindly face and an air of stoicism about her suggesting that she was a long-time employee on that particular ward.

"She's tried pushing me away before and I'm still here. I won't take no for an answer." Lucy swallowed past the lump in her throat. She had been so looking forward to seeing Jo again that it had never occurred to her that her lover would rather be alone.

"Be gentle with her, she's been through major surgery and is having some difficulties coming to terms with it just now," the nurse warned, making it clear that her only concern was her patient's wellbeing.

"I won't deliberately upset her, I just want her to know she's not alone," Lucy assured her, knowing that Jo didn't need any additional stress. The nurse nodded and indicated for Lucy to go on through to Jo's cubicle. The swarthy-skinned brunette needed no further invitation and scuttled off to find the woman who drove her to distraction and to newfound heights of pleasure in equal measure. She found Jo curled up on her side with her back to her. Not knowing if the brunette was awake, Lucy quietly retrieved a chair from the stacked store and cautiously placed it around the opposite side of Jo's bed, so that she was facing Jo's front.

"I told them I didn't want visitors." The deep, husky voice surprised Lucy, who had convinced herself that her lover was asleep.

"I know, they told me, but I really wanted to see you. I don't have to stay very long if you don't want me to but I'm here now, can you put up with me for a little while at least?" Lucy reached out for Jo's hand, stroking her thumb over the pronounced knuckles tenderly.

"You shouldn't have come, you should have got as far away from me as possible and not looked back. I can't be what you need me to be and you deserve better." Jo had spent the day mulling over what her oncologist had said about the treatment regime she faced and its likely side effects. There was no way she could expect Lucy to deal with that when she should be out living her life to the full.

"What do you think I need you to be, Jo? All I ever need is for you to be yourself, it's all I need now and it is all I will ever need you to be. There's only one place I want to be and that is by your side. You pushed me away once before and I left, like a total coward I left you to deal with finding the lump on your own. I'm not making that mistake again, I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd let you down that badly twice. So you can lie there in silence refusing to look at me or speak to me if you like but I am going to visit you every chance that I get. I love you, you big beautiful lummox." Lucy spoke from the heart, pulling her chair closer to the head of her girlfriend's bed and stroking the backs of her fingers across her cheek.

"How can you call me that? How can you even think it?" Jo croaked out beyond a barely suppressed sob.

"What? A lummox?" Lucy quipped, knowing exactly what Jo meant and not willing to feed into her self hatred.

"Beautiful. How… why… what…?" Jo couldn't form her question, eyes imploring Lucy to understand her struggle.

"Because you are. Jo, you're the most amazingly beautiful, gorgeous and adorable woman I've ever had the good fortune of knowing. Sure you have a great body…" Lucy saw her about to object and forestalled any interruption with fingertips pressed to Jo's luscious lips, "…yes you do, every bit of it, but your beauty radiates from inside of you, sweetheart. You have such a gentle, caring soul and you always want to protect everyone else from any kind of pain, even if that means you have to suffer alone. Noble sentiments but I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that on this occasion, you can't shelter us because me and all your friends fully intend on standing out in the rain and getting wet along with you."

"I don't deserve you," Jo cried, knowing she was making things even more difficult for her lover but she just couldn't understand how anyone would regard her butchered and mutilated form as anything other than grotesque. She hadn't expected to feel so strongly about the loss of her own breast and its replacement with a synthetic one, not having thought herself particularly attached to them and in truth finding them a darn nuisance on more than one occasion given their size and propensity for getting in the way.

"You deserve whatever will make you happy, Jo and if I can be a part of that then count me in because the only way I will walk away from you or from this fight is if my presence makes you miserable or hampers you in any way." Lucy looked over the hunched form of her partner, noticing that she was still in a hospital gown rather than the pyjamas that she had brought in for her to wear. "Are they not letting you wear your own clothes?"

"I never asked about it, I haven't felt like doing much today," Jo admitted quietly, not having given any thought to her attire or her comfort. Lucy stood up and announced that she was going to ask about the possibility of helping Jo change into her own pyjamas, hoping it might help her to feel better about herself.

"Feel up to slipping into something undoubtedly more comfortable?" The olive-skinned woman asked on her return with a soft smile.

"You don't have to, I can probably manage myself later." Jo stuttered, nervous at the thought of Lucy being confronted with the reality of what she now was, what the surgery had made her, and fearing that the younger woman would take back her words and flee at the cold, hard, truth before her eyes.

"I'm sure you could but perhaps I might just want to do this for you. Is everything going to be a battle with you? Only I'm quite sure there are better things you can be fighting than a wanton woman undressing you!" Lucy joked, although there was some truth in her words, reminding Jo that her energy was better served beating the cancer so that she could show Lucy just how grateful she was for her support every day for the rest of their lives.

"Wanton huh? I'm not sure I've got the stamina to do much other than sit up at the minute." Jo's humorous statement was punctuated by a wide yawn as she attempted to swing herself into a seated position on the edge of the bed.

"Jo! The thought hadn't even crossed my mind that you would!" Lucy squeaked, glad to see she was managing to coax Jo out of her shell at least a little. The brunette hurried to close the curtains around the cubicle in order to shield her lover from the rest of the ward before retrieving her pyjamas from the bedside locker. She helped Jo steady herself, the movement sending a wave of dizziness through the patient as her blood pressure struggled to right itself. Crouching at her feet, Lucy took great care in tenderly feeding the pyjama pants up her lovers legs, dropping a chaste kiss again one knee before it was covered in the soft jersey cloth. Once they were within Jo's own reach, Lucy simply supported her and allowed the older woman to take control, not wanting her to feel helpless. She sensed Jo's tension increasing as Lucy reached for the jacket which went with the set. "You let me know when you're ready to do this, ok?" Lucy stroked Jo's cheek and leant down to lovingly kiss her inviting lips. It was intended to be a brief, chaste show of affection but multiplied into a more amorous display of how much the enforced separation had affected each of them. When they surfaced for air, Lucy raised Jo's hand to her own chest, pressing it to her pounding heart. "See what you do to me with just a kiss? Don't ever doubt that I'm where I want to be, with the only person I want to be with."

"Lucy… I… I love you so much." Jo sighed as she leant her head forward, resting it against her lover's stomach and revelling in the feel of the young woman's fingers threading through her hair, teasing her scalp, over and over again.

"I love you too sweetheart."


	22. Chapter 22

**__**

**_As always, I own nothing, make no money from this & do no harm (well not much) to any characters of anyone else's creation (my own are fair game so better duck & cover!). Thanks for reading, especially those who take the time to review as well, and my muse would love you to drop me a review to let me know what you think, be it good, bad or indifferent._**

* * *

"Where is he? Where's my boy?" Zofia screeched as she entered the emergency department of St Hugh's hospital, eyes darting around looking for any familiar face.

"Can I help you?" The clerk at the reception desk looked unfazed, used to dealing with all manner of dramas during her shifts.

"My son was brought here by police. His name is Dawid… Dawid Podowski." Zofia informed her urgently, a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

The clerk tapped a few keys on her machine, asking Zofia to clarify the spelling, before signalling that she should take a seat and a nurse would fetch her just as soon as they had finished checking Dawid over. As Zofia and Izzy took seats, the clerk asked a porter to let the detective who had accompanied the young boy that his mother had arrived in the department. As soon as Sam was informed, she made her way to the waiting room from her post outside the side room where Dawid was being examined, indicating for a uniformed officer to take her place and make sure that no unauthorised personnel entered.

"Hi Zofia, Izzy. Dawid's a brave young man, he's been incredible. The doctors are just with him now, making sure he's physically well enough to come home with you." Sam was engulfed in a tight hug by a very grateful Zofia.

"I can't thank you enough, ever. We are so pleased to have my boy back, aren't we Izzy?"

"Yes Mama," Izzy agreed, tears causing her eyes to sparkle.

"We're very pleased to be able to bring him back to you as well. We will need to talk to Dawid at the police station but once he's discharged from here, I think it would be better for you all if you take him home and spend some time together as a family. He's been through a lot and he might act differently than you're used to. You have my numbers, if at any time you're worried about him at all, you can call me and I will do whatever I can." Sam advised after extricating herself from the mother's arms. "Let me go and see if the doctor has finished his examination."

* * *

"Ready to do this? You'll at least be a little more comfortable if we get this horrible gown off you." Lucy asked after an extended cuddle with her girlfriend.

"I am comfortable, right here." Jo murmured into Lucy's stomach where her head still rested, her eyes drifting closed again as she luxuriated in the warmth of the young woman's body and the feel of gentle arms around her.

"And as much as I love having you in my arms I really do think that you'd be better off lying down and getting some more rest," Lucy stated, once again running her fingers through Jo's hair.

"I don't want you to go," Jo admitted quietly.

"I won't, not until you're sleeping, I promise," came the heartfelt reply.

"You don't have to do this, you know. You can still walk away and I won't think any less of you." Despite how good it felt to have Lucy near, Jo was scared about what her reaction would be once the gown was removed and her ugliness was laid bare.

"No Jo, I can't. I need my heart to walk anywhere and my heart's right here with you. The sooner you get used to the idea of me sticking around, the better but I will tell you and show you as many times as it takes until you believe that I'm not going anywhere without you. Now, let's get this gown off you and your pyjama top on before the nurses come in to check I'm not shagging you senseless behind these curtains." Jo couldn't prevent the giggle that bubbled up from inside her at the idea of Lucy doing just that and them being interrupted by a disgruntled nurse. The sound of it warmed the young brunette's heart no end, igniting a glimmer of hope that Jo was not too depressed not to respond to humour. Lucy unfastened the ties which were keeping the garment closed and eased the flimsy material down Jo's arms. She was careful to keep her expression neutral as Jo's head turned away, her eyes clamped tightly closed. "Jo, sweetheart, open your eyes. You need to face it sometime, the sooner the better. I'm here, let me help you. Come on baby, it's not as bad as you might be imagining."

Jo took a shuddering breath, tensing as she felt her lover's hand running along her jaw, not forcing her to turn her head, simply gently caressing her encouragingly. "I can't."

"Then look at me. Look into my eyes and see for yourself that I don't pity you, I'm not repulsed by your body, that I love you with every fibre of my being," Lucy implored, applying a little more pressure to Jo's jaw in an effort to bring her face back towards her. When Jo still failed to open her eyes, Lucy dipped her head, kissing along the strong jawbone closest to her, trailing up to the older woman's ear, whispering words of love and devotion, distracting Jo from the movement of her hands. Before she knew it, the detective's pyjama jacket was being fastened up the front of her torso. Her expression telegraphed her surprise and earned her a teasing grin from her lover. "See , that wasn't so bad was it?" Jo could only shake her head in wonder as she allowed herself to be manoeuvred back into a prone position on the bed. Lucy re-covered the exhausted woman, watching her eyes battling to stay open, eyelids sluggish and heavy. "Sleep now, sweetheart and I'll be back before you know it." The young brunette kissed Jo's forehead and squeezed her hand before perching in the chair, planning on staying until she was sure the older woman was asleep.

* * *

Sam strode through St Hugh's labyrinthine corridors. She couldn't be so close to Jo and not make some attempt to find out how her friend was doing. The main reception had yielded the name of the ward to which Jo had been transferred and that was where Sam was heading, determined to know something more before she returned to the station. As she rounded the last corner, she almost bulldozed Lucy who was just exiting the ward.

"Sam," the brunette exclaimed. "Is everything ok? Are you here to see Jo?"

"I was here on a case but I couldn't leave without trying to see how she was. I was just planning on asking the staff, I didn't know if she'd be up to visitors." Sam explained, looking closely at the young woman.

"She's … you know, she's ok, I've just left her asleep. The pain medication she's on is still knocking her out a bit." Sam read between the lines, seeing the tension in Lucy's shoulders and around her eyes.

"Want to get a coffee and talk about it?" The raven-haired woman seemed to deflate at the suggestion, the reserves of strength and pride, which were keeping her tears from falling, threatening to crumble. She nodded as she gave Sam a watery smile. "Come on then, there's a Costa Coffee across the street, my treat." Once again, Lucy found herself thanking her lucky stars for Jo's friends as she trailed after the remarkable blonde.

* * *

Lorna busied herself sifting through the inordinate amount of detritus which served to make up her latest crime scene. The fire had been fierce and intense, that much was obvious from the level of damage to what had at one time been a respectable family home. The fire department were still hovering, raking over piles of debris and making sure all the embers were sufficiently doused to avoid any re-ignition. In truth, the Scot was inordinately grateful to have plenty of work to keep her mind occupied, knowing that sorting through the evidence from this incident would take her well beyond the end of her shift and give her little time to dwell on the talk she needed to have with her daughter over the weekend. Looking around her, Lorna's eyes alighted on an imposing building on the near horizon, standing proud above the rooftops of the terraced houses. The adornments on the roof tugged at the back of her mind, her memory grappling to recall the significance of the cross and dome. Figuring that the less she tried to recall it, the more likely it was that the memory would resurface, she moved on to another area of the devastated house which required her attention.

"Any evidence of what started the fire yet, Lorna?" DS Turner's smug voice rang out from behind a dust mask covering his mouth and nose in an effort to keep out the strong acrid smell which lingered in the air.

"Not yet, no but I've only just been given the go ahead to start processing the scene. Give me time and I might have some answers. How come CID are interested so soon?" Lorna placed one hand on her hip as she appraised the young sergeant with a cool stare.

"Houses don't tend to spontaneously combust. I thought it might be useful to take a look while the scene was fresh in case it turns out to have been started deliberately." Stuart felt his hackles beginning to rise at the indirect challenge on his presence from the red-headed woman. Lorna simply raised an eyebrow and returned her attention to her work, deciding the best course of action was to ignore him in the hopes that he would crawl back under whichever rock he had come out from. "Make sure you keep me informed of anything you find. If this does turn out to have been arson, I'll be heading up the investigation." Stuart told her, a supercilious smirk on his face which Lorna would have happily wiped off under different circumstances.

"Fine. Now if you don't mind, I've got a lot of rooms to process and I don't need you contaminating any evidence." Lorna made it clear that she was done with talking to the sleazy officer, not trusting him one iota and wanting him as far away from her as possible. Stuart watched her for a moment or two longer before turning and removing himself from her vicinity.

* * *

"So how was she really?" Sam asked once she and Lucy were settled in a corner of the coffee shop away from other patrons, each nursing a hot mug and sinking gratefully into the cosy leather arm chairs. She watched Lucy toy with the rim of her cup as she chose how to answer.

"Honestly? She was depressed and had told the staff she didn't want to see anyone, no visitors at all. Fortunately, they didn't take that too literally and still let me sit with her but she wasn't impressed too see me to begin with. She was telling me to leave, not just there and then but to walk away and not go back to her." Lucy paused to take a sip of her latté, her mind wandering back over the bleak expression on her lover's face when she had arrived.

"That's Jo's way of dealing with things. Pushing people away, she thinks she's protecting them and doing what's best. You might find yourself dealing with a lot of that and sometimes, you might have to honour her wishes, give her some space and trust that she will let you back in when she's ready to," Sam advised, sporting a troubled expression.

"I told her that I understood what she was doing and why but that she couldn't protect us this time from being hurt, that we are all hurting for her but I made it clear that I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving her no matter what she says. I couldn't survive if I walked away, I'd never forgive myself. Sam I… I undressed her, changed her into her own pyjamas rather than that grotty hospital gown they had her in. I couldn't react, she was so insecure about being ugly and grotesque she couldn't even open her eyes. God Sam, it was so hard to hide my shock – don't get me wrong, I don't… it hasn't changed how I feel about her or that I think she's beautiful but it was heartbreaking to see the stark evidence of her disease like that." A wave of nausea washed over the young brunette as she recalled the large dressing and faint discolouration peeking out beyond it. "All I could do was hold her close and tell her how much I loved her, everything that I love about her and hope that it was enough."

"Oh Lucy, that was a very brave thing that you did, facing the reality of her surgery straight away. I'm not sure I'd have been strong enough to do what you did, that took guts and even though you found it hard, you've got that first glimpse of it out of the way. You did exactly the right thing. You showed her at the best possible time that you adore her and want that physical contact. You didn't shy away despite seeing her at her most naked and vulnerable." Sam implored Lucy to believe her, to accept that she was doing the right things and not to over-think everything.

"I knew it'd be hard but I didn't think it would be this hard, this soon." Lucy was physically shaking, her strength giving way to overwhelming terror at the prospect of what lay ahead. Almost as though she was trying to persuade herself, she murmured over and over, "I can do this, I _can_ do this."

"_We_ can do this," Sam agreed, determinedly, reaching across the low table and squeezing the young woman's clammy palm.

* * *

"Sam, a word in my office?" DCI Meadows caught his DI as she strode back up the stairs towards CID.

"Of course, Sir." Sam followed, closing the door behind her and taking a seat in the chair opposite her superior officer, crossing her legs and resting her joined hands on top of her knee to disguise the fact that they were shaking.

"How did it go with Dawid at the hospital?" Jack asked, after settling himself in his own chair.

"As well as can be expected. There's extensive physical evidence of trauma from the abuse but nothing that warrants keeping him in hospital overnight. The family were overjoyed to be reunited. When I left them, a uniformed officer was just about to take them all home," Sam informed her boss.

"So you're confident you can close the case by the end of today?" Jack pressed.

"Well, we appear to have the man responsible for Dawid's abduction in custody but until he's been interviewed and the loose ends tied up, we can't be sure of anything. With all due respect sir, you know that." Sam sensed that Jack was under increasing pressure to make the Podowski investigation go away, which made her all the more suspicious about the neatness and convenience of the circumstances which had led them to find Dawid.

"Don't chase shadows on this one, Sam. We've got our man, let it go. The website is CEOPs responsibility, not ours. They have the manpower and the resources to dig into that whereas here, there are other investigations requiring your attention. Where did you go after you left the Podowski's at the hospital?" Jack asked, changing tack as he saw Sam's defences rising.

"I thought I'd check on Jo, see how she was doing and let her know Dawid had been found. I bumped into her partner, Lucy, as I got to the ward. Jo was asleep so I took Lucy for coffee." Sam felt under scrutiny, immediately deciding it was a sensation she could live without experiencing again in a hurry. Despite knowing she had done nothing wrong, there was an irrational pang of guilt which shot through her.

Jack's voice softened, the man behind the rank peeping through at the mention of his stricken officer. "How's Jo doing?"

"She made it through the operation ok. Now the uphill battle really begins though. Time will tell." Sam's heart held a now familiar ache as she thought of her close friend and the fight she faced.

"She's a strong one, Sam. If anyone can beat cancer, Jo can. She'll be back here before you know it, driving you mad and pushing the boundaries." Jack could only hope that was the case. Despite his gentle teasing, he considered Jo to be one of his best officers and would be devastated if she was no longer part of the team.

"I hope so," Sam admitted quietly. There was a brief pause where neither of them knew what to say before the DI sighed and asked, "was there anything else you needed me for, sir?"

"No, I don't think so," Jack replied, adding "Sam, please be careful and try to wrap this up quickly and quietly. I'm getting an unusual amount of pressure from above to make this go away and whilst, off the record, I'd like to know why, I can't afford to have you suspended."

"With all due respect, Sir, I appreciate your concern but we do still need to talk to Andrew Kirk regarding Izzy's allegations of abuse at his hands. We would be negligent in our duties if we ignored such an accusation, especially regarding someone who works in a school." Jack nodded resignedly, accepting Sam's logic and hoping he could persuade the powers that be that it was a separate investigation from the Dawid Podowksi case.

* * *

"What's that building across the road?" Lorna asked PC Green as she emerged from the scorched front door of the fire ravaged house.

Following the direction of the crime scene technician's outstretched finger, Beth answered, "St Barnabas School. It's an old workhouse though dating back to Victorian times but was converted into a school in the 1960's, first as a private boys school and now as a mixed private boarding school. Imposing structure isn't it?"

"It certainly is. Thanks PC Green, you're a font of information." It had come back to Lorna during her processing of the house what the importance of the cross and domed roof was, recalling Sam mentioning it during one of their conversations about the missing child case. There was sufficient evidence of accelerant patterns in the burn marks for Lorna to be confident of ruling the fire suspicious and she couldn't help but wonder if it was in some way connected. She resolved to speak to Sam about it the next time she could be sure there were no ears around to listen in, the thought of that necessitating being alone with the blonde woman making her pulse race with desire and fear in equal measure.

"Most of it useless, I know," Beth quipped self-deprecatingly.

"Not at all, I'm sure. And what one person might consider useless may be priceless to another," Lorna assured her warmly with a smile before hefting her case and trudging off towards her car, white coverall suit rustling as she walked. She stripped out of the unflattering overall at the back of her vehicle, pulling a disposal bag out of her boot and stuffing the garment inside, gloves and shoe protectors following suit.

"So what's the verdict on the cause of the fire?" Stuart's oily voice sounded close behind her sending shivers down her spine.

"My report will be on your desk as soon as I have finished examining all the trace evidence collected. So far, I'd have to say that there are sufficient markers to suggest that it is suspicious, beyond that I'm not prepared to commit yet."

"So you think it was set deliberately? For what purpose?" DS Turner pressed, fishing to see just what the technician had discovered.

"That wasn't what I said. The evidence I have found cannot rule out the possibility but nor does it conclusively prove arson was the cause, at least not as yet. I cannot tell you what further examination of that evidence will turn up and it is not in my nature, nor in my job description to speculate on motive. I believe, Sergeant, that that is where you come in." Lorna stowed her kit in the boot of her car, initiating the central locking to secure all doors before unlocking just the drivers door. She was overcome with a strong need to get away from the detective's shadow and back to the laboratory where she could lose herself in analysis and facts and figures. Stuart watched her drive away as he pulled out his phone and dialled Heaton's number.

"DS Turner, what can I do for you?"

"Lorna Hart, that red-haired Scottish crime scene technician, is nosing around into this fire on Dickens Avenue. She seems to suspect foul play. Could be something that needs keeping an eye on." Stuart informed his superior officer coolly.

"Keep me apprised." Heaton ended the call without any further exchange, slamming his hand down on his desk in frustration. "Damn careless idiots and nosey women."


	23. Chapter 23

**_So as always, thanks to those of you still reading this story and I hope that you're still finding something of interest in it. I own very little in life and what I do lay claim to certainly does not extend to the fabulous characters recognisable from The Bill. I'm just giving them a little exercise time out of the storage crates they now call home and promise to put them back none the worse for wear afterwards and with just as few pennies in my pocket as I have right now!_**

**_If you get the chance, drop me a review and let me know if this chapter rocks your world, cures your insomnia or just gives you an overwhelming sense of 'meh' - my muse does love feedback of all varieties and flavours :)_**

* * *

"Hi, it's me," Sam breathed into the receiver.

"Hiya you," Lorna replied with a gentle smile. "How are you doing?"

"I'm ok, how are you?" There was a shyness to their interaction that neither woman was quite used to.

"I'm fine. What's up? Why only ok? Is Jo alright?" Lorna encouraged the DI to open up and talk to her freely.

"I think so, as well as can be expected at least. I saw Lucy earlier at the hospital, she was a bit of a mess. Jo sounds like she's depressed, she was refusing to see anyone at first but Lucy persisted and got her to talk a bit." Sam fiddled mindlessly with the slats of the blind covering her office's windows.

A thought suddenly struck Lorna, "why were you at the hospital today? Did you go especially to see Jo?"

"No, I was there on a case. We found Dawid earlier today after a tip off, had to take him to get him checked over," Sam replied, a slight edge creeping into her voice as she recalled her earlier warning by DCI Meadows.

"That's great news. Is he alright? Except for the trauma he's suffered obviously." Lorna enquired, relieved that something had gone right for the detective at least.

"Yeah, he's got some physical injuries following his ordeal but mostly he was just happy to see his mum and sister. He was well enough to go home with them so hopefully he'll be resilient enough to bounce back from what happened to him with their help and the help of psychologists." Sam paused, not entirely sure why she had called the Scottish woman other than knowing the sound of her voice would soothe her frazzled nerves. "I've been warned to close the case without much further questioning or risk my career."

Realisation dawned on Lorna as she recognised that Sam had simply called because she needed a friendly voice. "Well, we knew that you wouldn't be allowed to dig too much further anyway and it isn't worth jeopardising your job over. That little boy is back with his family which is what matters most." She spoke the platitudes she felt obliged to, suspecting that Sam would still want to investigate the matter further given the pictures Lorna had shown her and knowing that until the people responsible were caught, there were other children at risk. "We can talk about it over coffee if you'd like?" Lorna made the suggestion knowing that it was a discussion which would need to take place away from potentially prying ears.

"I'd like that but I'm not sure when we can get together with us working different shifts for the next few days." Sam also thought that it might be an idea to give themselves a few days space from one another. The almost overwhelming urge to spend every available moment getting to know the redhead scared her slightly and she feared that being in Lorna's company too much would negate her conviction to take things slowly.

"What time are you finishing today?" Lorna asked, knowing that she needed to share her suspicions about her possible arson case with Sam as soon as possible. Sam swallowed thickly, hearing the urgency in the other woman's voice and mistaking it for keenness to get together.

"We agreed to take things slowly…" Sam began only to be interrupted.

"And we will, we are going to, but there's something I need to discuss with you relating to an ongoing active case. Purely shop talk, I promise," the CSE assured her could-be lover, deducing that Sam too was unsure still about the wisdom of entering into a relationship together.

Sam's interest was piqued by the other woman's cryptic remark. "Ok, well I have another couple of hours but I'll be finished by seven. You're on 'til ten aren't you?"

"I am but if you're amenable, I can fit in a break in about half an hour. What say we meet at Café Nero on Brannington Road?" Both women had their doubts about the wisdom of meeting up but professionalism overruled any discomfort and drove them to agree to the clandestine get together.

* * *

Jo felt the sharp scratch of a needle being inserted into her skin as the shunt through which she would receive her chemotherapy was inserted and taped into place.

"Ready to get started?" The kindly doctor looked at her patient while attaching the IV tube leading to a bag of clear, viscous liquid.

"As I'll ever be," Jo assured her, taking a deep breath as she attempted to prepare herself for the invasion of chemicals into her body. She knew the purpose was just but that didn't mean she had to like the thought of being slowly poisoned in the name of curing this insidious disease.

"I'm sure you've been forewarned of what to expect and that it might take a while to find a suitable combination of drugs to treat you with so I won't bore you with all that again. What I will ask is that you're completely honest with us about how you're feeling so that we can intervene if something doesn't feel right ok? Don't think you have to be stoic and put up with something if it is causing you a great deal of discomfort. Obviously, it's not going to be a pleasant sensation and you are likely to experience nausea and a general feeling of being under the weather but anything extreme, or anything you haven't heard listed as a normal side effect, let us know." Jo nodded her assent, bracing herself as the fluid began to make its way through the tube towards her arm. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she fought to regain control before a full-blown panic attack took hold of her.

"Come on, you can do this, you gotta get used to this, come on Jo, get a grip," she muttered over and over to herself as an cool sensation travelled up her vein until the liquid was heated to body temperature.

"First time huh?" A voice from beside her startled the brunette into re-opening her eyes, not realising at what point she'd closed them.

"That obvious huh?" Jo asked with a shaky smile towards her new companion.

"The hair gives you away, no wig ever looks that good!" The response was good humoured but tinged with a hint of longing. "It's ok to be nervous." The tall, skeletal woman with sallow skin sunk down into an easy chair beside the couch on which Jo was reclining. She extended a bony hand towards the brunette. "I'm Saira. As you can probably tell, it's not my first time. More like my hundred and first or that's what it feels like anyway."

"Jo. Uh… I'm Jo," the brunette stuttered, grateful to this woman for making an effort to put her at ease but not at all sure she could cope with trying to be sociable right at that moment.

"Hi Jo, so what's your caustic cocktail trying to kill?" Saira asked, fingering the bandana wrapped around her own barely tufted scalp, eyes still raking over Jo's luscious brown locks. "Mine started out for breast cancer two years ago and I really thought I'd beaten it but three months ago I found another lump so here I am, attending chemo parties on an all too regular basis again."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Jo intoned sincerely, wondering if that was what she too had to look forward to; having her hopes raised only to find them dashed against the rocks. "Mine's breast cancer too," she admitted quietly, still having trouble speaking the words out loud.

"Well don't let my recurrence scare you, I'm assured that I'm in the minority but then I always did have to go that extra mile to be different," Saira quipped with a self deprecating grin.

"How do you keep so… blasé about it?" Jo asked, genuinely perplexed given that she was filled with such a sense of injustice and anger herself.

"I don't always but I learned early on that a large part of the battle is won in your own mind. The body is a weird and wonderful thing and it reacts according to your state of mind. If you convince yourself that every shadow you see is the Grim Reaper coming to carry you off to pastures new, chances are sooner or later, that will come true. If, however, you look the cancer in the face and tell it to take a hike, that it won't drive you into a pine box six feet underground, don't ask me how but the treatment works far better. I still have days where I get angry and depressed and scared that I just don't have it in me to beat it a second time but I made myself a list of all the things I have to live for; things I own, people I love and who love me, places I want to go, things I want to do and see and I will myself to imagine a world without me in it, to see the pain my friends and family would go through. All that gives me the fire I need to make damn sure I hang around for a good while longer, to spare them as much hurt as I can even though it's hard for them to see me like this." Saira looked closely at the brunette, seeing the tightness around her eyes increase as the drugs began to infiltrate her system. "I won't say that it gets better, I'm afraid I'd be lying to you but it does become less of an alien sensation. Music helps some people to get through the treatments, others bring books or magazines to read, some play games on laptops, I've even seen one or two trying to work whilst receiving chemo. In time, you'll know what helps to take your mind off what's happening inside your body but for today, I just wanted to see if I could help in any way to distract you." Despite her initial reservations, Jo was immensely appreciative of the other woman's caring and showed her so with a bright, thankful smile.

"I guess it will give me a chance to catch up on all those books that have been gathering dust on the shelves in my bedroom." Jo closed her eyes as a wave of dizziness washed over her, her stomach churning in a highly unwelcome fashion. Saira was beside her in an instant, a disposable bowl held close to Jo's chin as the colour drained from her face.

"Breathe through it, Jo and don't fight it. Save your strength for the battles you can win. Trust me, this is one thing that you will unfortunately have to get used to." Saira rubbed a hand over the expanse between Jo's shoulder blades comfortingly as the other woman continued to try to swallow her gag reflex. "The anti-emetic they gave you should start kicking in soon." Even as Saira spoke, Jo could feel the queasiness subsiding a little. It was still there, she was still conscious of it, but at least it was bearable.

"Thanks," she muttered once she was convinced she wasn't going to actually be sick. "I can see this is going to be a really fun ride," she griped tetchily, never having been fond of vomiting.

"It'll be a rollercoaster, that I can assure you of. Fun? Not so much assurance on that score but it is relatively short lived. The symptoms, once your body gets into the regime, they only last a day or two after your treatment and then you get a period of something closer to normalcy until your next treatment." Saira sought to reassure the new patient, feeling as though her experience was something she could offer at least.

"Great, I'm having daily treatments to start with, guess that means I can look forward to feeling pretty lousy for a while," Jo groused. She had hoped that once she healed a little from her surgery, she could at least return to desk duties at work in order to pass the time but that was looking unlikely, at least for the moment.

Saira nodded her understanding. "They have to be aggressive to begin with in order to make sure the drugs get past your body's normal defences so that it can reach any cancerous cells and destroy them. What do you do for a living?" Saira asked, the enquiry seemingly non-sequitur but she wanted to try to make her point using the woman's own experiences.

"I'm a police officer," Jo replied, resting her head back against the cushion of the couch wondering if Saira was simply finding a tangent in order to distract her or if the conversation was actually going somewhere.

"Ok, so think of it like this; if you know that there's a ruthless armed criminal behind a door, you wouldn't knock politely and ask him to please behave, would you? You'd go in there with a planned and targeted apprehension team and make sure he was dealt with strongly and swiftly, right? It's the same with chemo, they've got to take the direct, swift approach to tackle the problem and then they can take their foot off the pedal once the initial danger has passed." Saira waited a beat, watching for Jo's recognition of her logic. "How many cycles have they got you down for?"

"Three, so I've been told." Jo's voice was growing weary, a need for sleep threatening to overtake her.

"Not as bad as it could be then. You'll be over the worst in a few months – I realise that probably seems like a lifetime away right now but the time will soon whiz by in a blur of treatments, scans, x-rays, appointments etcetera." Saira could tell that her companion was fading, surprised that she had lasted this long into her first treatment before succumbing to the need to escape into a world of sleep and dreams. "I'm going to give you some peace now but if you get lonely at any time, feel free to get one of the nurses to come fetch me and I'll sit with you again." Jo just nodded, stifling a yawn and allowing her eyes to drift shut, a welcoming darkness enveloping her.

* * *

"Thanks Lorna," Sam murmured gratefully as the redhead slid into the wooden chair on the opposite side of the table Sam had chosen for them, pushing a tall mug of spicy scented chai latte towards the blonde woman.

"You look tired," Lorna informed the DI, her tone intimate and concerned as she settled herself more comfortably on the hard seat.

"It's felt like a long day," the blonde admitted, quietly.

"A lot has happened," Lorna agreed, still feeling the shy awkwardness lingering between them despite her assurances to Sam earlier that this was simply a business meeting. "Listen Sam, I wanted to see you because of a fire I was called out to investigate this afternoon. I might be barking up entirely the wrong tree but there was a building over the road from it which tugged at my consciousness until I remembered that detail Izzy gave you from the videos she'd been made to watch by Kirk. Like I say, it might be nothing but the detached house that was burned down showed several signs of the fire being non-accidental, it was opposite a boarding school which has a dome and a cross on its roof and…" Lorna paused, unsure how to explain why DS Turner's attitude had disturbed her so much.

"What is it Lorna, what else about it makes you think it's related in some way to those videos?" Sam prompted, feeling her own fears about the real reason for Lorna requesting the meet up slipping from her mind as she fell into ultra professional mode.

"DS Turner attended the scene and was most insistent that I report to him directly any evidence I find. He seemed to be always watching me while I was collecting evidence and he was pressing me for information as soon as I finished processing the scene. It's nothing tangible really but something about the insistent way he kept asking what my initial thoughts were felt off." Normally, Sam wasn't too fond of relying on gut instincts, preferring solid irrefutable evidence to build her cases on, but she had to admit, in this instance, she would have been willing to make an exception even if she and Lorna had not been growing steadily closer. Something about Stuart's behaviour of late rankled with the detective and she had her own suspicions that he was involved in some way in whatever deception Heaton was orchestrating.

"Ok so say that the house which was razed to the ground by the fire is the same place that those videos were filmed and possibly even the same place that Dawid was held by the real abductor or abductors. It still gets us nowhere because last time I checked, fire damage mostly negates any hopes of finding evidence." Sam stated, her tone thoughtful.

"Ordinarily I'd agree with you, the extent of the fire did destroy practically every part of the building above ground, causing extensive damage to all the rooms which would at the very least taint if not obliterate any physical evidence of Dawid being held there or any other wrong doing." Lorna pulled some photographs out of her bag, copies of pictures taken at the crime scene earlier in the day. "I saw this trapdoor when I was tracking and measuring the accelerant patterns. I couldn't get to it because of the amount of debris and I suspect that the fire crew would have insisted on checking the structural integrity before they allowed me anywhere near it. I couldn't risk them tainting the evidence so I mentioned to the fire officer in charge that I wanted to be the first one to access that area of the house when the rest of the building was declared safe enough to venture down into any basement rooms. There could be a whole host of evidence down there Sam that hasn't been touched by the fire and depending on how well insulated it is, there may only be minimal water and smoke damage."

"Oh God Lorna, what if there are others down there? What if the fire wasn't set just to get rid of evidence but to get rid of witnesses, of victims too? We need to get into that basement and check what's down there." Sam's face reflected the horrific thoughts going through her mind; of young children locked in a sound-proofed basement, slowly choking on thick acrid smoke and being unable to escape.

"We don't even know it is in any way involved, not for sure. It might just be an insurance job by someone who's fallen on hard times or somebody who pissed off the wrong person. Let's not jump to conclusions and start worrying over things that are only remote possibilities before we know for definite we have reason to. I understand your fear and believe me, I share it wholeheartedly but I'm hoping that even if this is the place those videos were filmed, it is too much of a risk for the people responsible to suddenly have to find replacement children to star in their sick movies if they eliminate any they already have." The women were speaking in hushed tones, leaning their heads closer and closer together in an effort to avoid anyone overhearing their sensitive and disturbing conversation. Their gazes locked, both sets of eyes widening as they took in the closeness of their proximity to one another. Sam's eyes flickered almost imperceptibly downwards but Lorna still felt her gaze brush over her lips as though it were a physical touch. "Sam, we need to be careful," Lorna murmured, not pulling away even slightly, despite an almost overwhelming urge to lean just a little further forward and cover the blonde's lips with her own.

"We will be," Sam whispered in return, her breath ghosting across Lorna's mouth in a tantalising caress. "We need to get in that basement though, it might be the breakthrough needed to put a stop to this circle once and for all." Despite Sam's words, her dilated pupils assured Lorna that she was not alone in feeling the effects of their position.

"But you have no probable cause to insinuate yourself into this investigation and we don't want to raise any alarm bells with Stuart. Let me see what's in there and if it's something you need to know, I promise you will be the first person I share it with. If I find any kind of possible connection with your case, there's no way they can not let you take over the investigation." Lorna saw no way of Sam accompanying her into that basement which wouldn't alert the wrong people to their interest.

"What if someone decides you're too much of a threat by snooping around? I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you because I let you take all the risks." Sam allowed some of her personal feelings to creep in to the conversation, fearing slightly that the other woman would consider her to be clingy or overprotective.

"We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it and we do have the insurance policy lodged with your friend just in case. And I'll make sure to keep my phone with me at all times so even if I get locked in the basement, I can call you to come and rescue me, how does that sound?" Lorna teased her would-be, could-be lover gently, no hint of admonishment in her tone. She admitted to herself that it was endearing to hear Sam so concerned for her welfare.

"Promise me you'll be careful. Please Lorna, even if only to humour me." Sam's tone turned plaintive, her eyes boring into Lorna's sharp green orbs.

"I promise, sweetheart," the redhead assured, tenderly placing a palm against her companion's cheek. Sam smiled a little and leaned further into the gentle touch, relishing the warm, comforting contact.

"When you look at me that way, I feel like the luckiest woman alive," the DI admitted, keeping her gaze steadily locked with the Scots. She knew it wasn't an opportune moment to bring the conversation round to more personal matters and realised that soon both of them would be forced to go their separate ways and return to work but there was something intoxicating about the other woman which Sam was powerless to ignore.

"I'll be honest with you Sam, I panicked this morning when I dropped Katie at school. She made a remark as she was getting out of the car that made it clear she knows there's something between us and I convinced myself I would put the brakes on this, at least until I can be sure she's really ok with the prospect of a relationship between you and I." Sam moved to extract herself from Lorna's caress, from the hand still softly stroking her cheek but found herself unable to withdraw as Lorna wrapped long, slender fingers around the back of her neck, lightly holding her in place. "But seeing you again, sitting here with you so close, I realise what a fool I was to believe I could ever hope to stop this. Katie told me she likes you, she thinks you're cool which from my daughter is high praise indeed, and as long as this doesn't hurt her, I can't deny us. And when I don't let fear rule my heart, I don't want to stop this."

"Lorna… I…" Sam was lost for words, a rarity for her she acknowledged with self deprecating irony.

"Ssshhh, you don't have to say anything, don't have to commit to anything, I just wanted you to know that I want this and I will wait for you for as long as it takes for you to be confident and comfortable enough with the idea of us to pursue it, no matter how long that is." With one final gentle caress of Sam's leonine neck, Lorna retracted her arm and rose to leave. "I'll call you as soon as I find anything out you need to know. See you soon, Sam."

"Yes, you will," the diminutive blonde replied assuredly, knowing that it would take an almighty force of nature from seeing the redhead again very soon indeed. Her hormones were ablaze following Lorna's heartfelt statement and part of her wished they were somewhere far more intimate and private so that she could show the other woman just how comfortable she was with the idea of a relationship between them right at that very moment. A larger part appreciated Lorna's sentiment, that she would give her the space and time she needed to be sure that a physical and emotional entanglement was what she wanted and that she was not acting out of lust alone. She blew out a shaky breath, casting a glance around her to see if anyone had noticed their intimate exchange, shocked to see the retreating form of DS Turner swaggering back towards the station.

* * *

**_So that's another chapter done. What did Stuart see and what will he do now? What evidence will Lorna uncover from the fire? Watch this space to find out... Updates will come faster with reviews as encouragement ;) Lol_**


	24. Chapter 24

**An early Christmas gift for A for Antechinus for your constant and constructive reviews :) My muse enjoys your feedback greatly! Happy Holidays, hope it brings you everything you could wish for. Same goes for all readers of this story. I have a few more chapters already written so I'm hopeful that for the next little while at least, I'll be able to manage to update fairly regularly once I've edited them etc. If I get sufficient interest, I might even post Chapter 25 on December 25th! (hint hint, ;) lol)**

**I know we're all blah blah blah but just so I don't get sued for the 1p and few pebbles in my purse, here comes the disclaimer: I don't own the characters from The Bill, that honour belongs to Talkback Thames and Freemantle Media. But since they've grown out of playing with these particular toys, I'm just borrowing them for a little fun, a little exercise and absolutely no profit whatsoever!**

**Boring stuff done, on with the story. Read on & please, please make my Christmas by dropping me a review to tell me what you think :)**

* * *

"Jo, baby, wake up. It's ok, Jo, you're ok, it's ok, I'm here." Lucy stroked her hand across her lover's face tenderly, wiping away the sweat and tears resulting from the nightmare which was currently gripping her. The woman's skin was flushed and her breathing shallow, an unusual heat emanating from her which Lucy was not convinced was entirely down to the warmth of the hospital. The slender brunette wished that she didn't have to wear the protective clothing – the face mask, the disposable apron, the vinyl gloves – whilst in with Jo but realised that it was necessity to cut down the risk of infection. She was four days in to her first cycle of chemotherapy and her immune system was already weakened by the powerful concoction of drugs flooding her body. Jo's eyes opened groggily, her hands reaching out blindly to grip the young woman needing something tangible to convince herself she was not hallucinating. "I'm here sweetheart, I'm here. It's ok, you're going to be ok." Lucy watched the colour drain from her lover's face and reached for a nearby vomit bowl in what had become a well practiced move. She held the bowl while Jo retched and gagged, losing the meagre contents of her already depleted stomach, rubbing one hand in soothing circles at the top of her back before wiping around her mouth with a clean tissue.

"How sexy is this?" Jo wearily quipped, her voice raspy from the repeated vomiting.

"Oh definitely in my top ten list of all things sexy," Lucy replied with a wink, knowing her cheeky grin would be evident through her eyes even as Jo was unable to see her mouth. "Only one more day to go and then they'll give you a break," Lucy assured her lover sympathetically.

"A break from pumping me full of poison but it'll still be a while before I get to come home. I miss you so much at night. That's when my brain kicks in and starts to imagine all the things you could and should be doing, all the things I'm holding you back from and preventing you from doing." A single tear escaped Jo's eye and trickled down her skin. She wished that she could pull the younger woman on to the bed to just lie with her but knew that the nurses would go ballistic if they found them in bed together. They took infection control very seriously on the ward and she understood the necessity of it, having had it explained quite clearly that a simple viral infection or common cold could be fatal for many of the patients, herself included, due to the necessary destruction of their immune systems. That knowledge however did not prevent her from yearning to feel the press of another body against her providing her with the physical comfort she so craved. Just something as simple as a hug would suffice, being held in someone's arms. Realistically, she knew that the radiotherapy she was receiving effectively banished any hope of that since her skin was too sensitive to anything but the lightest of touches.

"I miss you too honey, so much, but once this cycle is out of the way and you've had your next set of tests, they'll have a better idea if the treatment is working and how to proceed. Then you'll be able to come home and hopefully, they say, receive treatment as an outpatient. You're doing so well getting through this, you have no idea how proud I am of you. One more day of treatment and then you can take a break for a couple of days." Jo had become increasingly grateful to Lucy's daily visits and her unending capacity to coax, cajole and encourage Jo to get through each session. Between her and Saira, with whom Jo had formed an easy friendship, the brunette discovered an inner strength she never knew she possessed and was focused firmly on doing whatever it took to get better. She listened intently to the doctor's advice, she took her treatment with the minimum of grumbling and she always at least tried to eat something at each meal when it was presented to her, no matter how nauseous or how soon she knew it would come back. It had been explained to Jo that following the positive news brought from histology after her surgery, they had opted to begin her treatment more aggressively than originally planned in the hopes that they could reduce the overall number of chemotherapy cycles she needed to just three. Her first cycle would consist of daily treatments for the first five days, then a three day break followed by another five daily treatments before a further three day break and a final three daily treatments. Then she would be treatment free for four weeks depending on the results of biopsies to be taken after her last treatment of the cycle. Those were four weeks that she was focusing on reaching, like a dying man in a desert crawls ever closer towards an oasis whether it be real or a mirage.

"I wish I could kiss you," Jo admitted, despondently adding, "I wouldn't blame you, you know, if you found someone else who could be there for you physically. It's not fair to ask you to go without for however long this takes."

"Hey, stop that. I don't want anyone else. Jo, baby, just the thought of someone else touching me turns my stomach. The only hands I want caressing me are yours. If I have an itch that needs scratching before you're feeling up to it, well that's what vibrators are for isn't it?" Lucy replied earnestly, with an adorably innocent look on her face.

Jo burst out laughing at her lover's miraculous ability to make something so personal sound like she was talking about picking up a pint of milk from the supermarket. "Oh Lucy, you are priceless!"

"Yes I am, because I'm not in the market. I'm taken, my heart is forever sold to one woman and one woman alone – you. There will be no one else tending to my needs in your absence because without you, I don't feel any of those needs. I love sex with you Jo – I think the fact that I could rarely get enough of you is testament to that – but I'm no nymphomaniac who has to be getting laid on a daily basis. I managed without before I met you and I'm damn sure that we can make up for lost time when you have your strength back. As long as you're not completely sick and tired of me by then that is."

"As if! That's not going to happen darling, not as long as there's breath in my body. I love you," Jo informed the younger woman firmly.

"I love you too, baby with all that I am and all that I have," Lucy replied.

"Careful, that almost sounded like a vow!" Jo quipped with a lazy smile, feeling the tug of sleep pulling at her once again and cursing her lack of stamina.

"A vow I'd be more than happy to make; for better or for worse, in sickness and in health," Lucy murmured as she stroked Jo's face as tenderly as she could with the clear vinyl glove on. "Marry me, Jo?"

"I… Luce… I can't make that kind of commitment without knowing I'm going to be around to celebrate a life with you. I'm sorry babe. It's not a no, it's more of an 'I can't right now but ask me again when I'm less likely to die on you right after the wedding'. Can you understand that?" Jo's gaze pinned Lucy to the spot, her expression desperate and imploring her to believe that it wasn't a rejection of her but rather a timing issue.

"Of course, it was stupid of me to ask." Lucy couldn't help but be stung by Jo's refusal to agree to marry her, knowing the rationale was legitimate but feeling the pinch of rejection all the same.

"No it wasn't. It was the sweetest and most beautiful thing you could have said to me and if I was at the end of my treatment with assurances that I was in remission at least, I would definitely have said yes. Right now, there are too many unknowns, too many risks involved and I don't want you saddled with a wife who needs constant round the clock care instead of one who can embrace a life spent together and share all the experiences it has to offer with you." Jo's calm words penetrated her lover's mind, conjuring images of walking hand in hand along a tropical beach at twilight somewhere on honeymoon, of kissing Jo deeply and passionately on the white sands as warm, frothy water lapped around their ankles. "Hold that thought. Wherever your mind just transported you to, keep that in your heart and one day, we will make it happen," Jo assured her young lover, not wishing to know the details but knowing that the intense desire and joy she had witnessed in the woman's deep hazel eyes was something she would strive to recreate any chance she got.

"I'll hold you to that," Lucy replied reverently.

"I'll count on it," Jo informed the beauty beside her.

"You should rest. I want you to conserve all the energy you can for kicking this cancer in the butt. I have plans for you when you're better!" Lucy's tone turned saucy in an instant, Jo's raised eyebrow sending shivers along the young brunette's spine in a thrill of desire. Even in her sick bed, Jo could ignite fires within her that no one else had ever come close to.

"Keep up with those kind of incentives and that third round of chemo might not be necessary. Sexual frustration might just pulverise any remaining cancerous cells into submission long before any chemical intervention can get near." Jo's fists clenched the thin sheets covering her hospital bed as her heart hammered in her chest. She felt herself swiftly slipping into darkness, a crushing need to close her eyes overcoming her desire to keep up the banter with her girlfriend. Lucy was used to the other woman falling asleep but something about the rapid loss of consciousness and Jo's increasingly flushed skin caused her to seek assurance from one of the medical staff. There followed a flurry of activity as nurses and doctors rushed to Jo's bedside, hooking her up to machinery to once again monitor her heartbeat and vital signs. Snippets of medical jargon drifted on the air to Lucy's ears as she was ushered out of the room; "tachycardic", "push IV fluids", "temperature 104", "FBC's , U's and E's". After what seemed like an age, Jo's main doctor stepped out of the room and approached Lucy, his expression grave.

"Ms Sorella, Jo seems to have contracted an infection despite our best efforts to keep her environment as sterile as possible. We're going to start her on a course of broad spectrum antibiotics until the results of her blood tests come back and show us what exactly we're dealing with. It does mean that her chemotherapy will have to be postponed until she's over the infection. As a precaution, we're going to have to request that Jo has no visitors for a while, to prevent any additional infections. She's extremely vulnerable and susceptible right now and any infection can be serious." Lucy's face registered her shock at the sudden deterioration in her partner and at the news that she would not be able to see her for the foreseeable future. Dr Walker understood the young woman's distress but his main concern was his patient and her wellbeing.

"Please tell her I love her and as soon as she's well enough, I will be back to visit her. No matter how ill she gets, please don't let her think I've abandoned her." Lucy turned to leave, not being able to bear being so near to Jo and yet unable to cross the short distance to be with her.

* * *

"How could you be so stupid? What on Earth were you thinking when you agreed to them torching the house? All that's done is draw more attention when we were about to be free and clear." Heaton was fuming. The CSE team, lead by the overly inquisitive Lorna Hart, had discovered a whole host of evidence of wrongdoing in the basement of the house which had remained largely untouched by the fire above thanks to the insulation and precautions taken when soundproofing the room. The cots on which their young captives had slept had all been seized and were undergoing rigorous forensic testing. He knew that any evidence linking the house to the Podowski inquiry would lead to even more awkward and dangerous questions being asked. As it was, he was struggling to justify allowing Stuart to continue as the lead detective when there were so many probable links to Sam's case but Heaton needed to retain some control over the flow of information and his only hope of that was through Stuart. He would have to demand that Stuart run it jointly with Sam if forensics came back unfavourably.

"I didn't exactly agree to it, they phoned me up once the place was already ablaze to tell me that they had 'taken care of it' and were moving the merchandise to a new location." The voice on the other end of the line was clipped, tension boiling in his words.

"Taken care of what exactly? There was nothing to take care of. There was no link to that property or to the people who own it at any point in the investigation in to the Podowski boy's disappearance and we were just hours away from being able to put the whole sorry mess behind us. Now, I'll be damned lucky if I can convince my superiors that the man we have in custody is responsible or dissuade them from trying to get him to exchange information in return for a reduced sentence." Heaton did not appreciate having to have this conversation. The less he spoke to this particular blot on society the better in his opinion but sometimes it was a necessary evil which simply could not be avoided.

"As I said, it was not ordered by us. It was an impulsive act by some rogue agents who will be dealt with in-house once the new warehouse is established. There are many who are willing to step into their shoes and whom I'm sure perform more satisfactorily. What of your informant? Does he have any news which may help us?"

"He followed DI Nixon to a coffee shop a few days ago where she met with the main crime scene examiner who processed both the Podowski house and the torched warehouse, he thought they might be discussing the case but it appears they were having a social drink...a very sociable social drink."

"Meaning what precisely?" Heaton took a breath before clarifying, not really wishing to throw anyone into the lion's den but his sense of self-preservation won out.

"Meaning, there is a very strong suggestion that these two ladies are engaging in more than a professional relationship. If it comes to it, perhaps their close connection could be used as leverage to get them to back off."

"Hmm interesting. I do find that the protection of a loved one is a powerful incentive for most people," Heaton's contact replied.

"Indeed. And they don't come much more protective than Sam Nixon," the Chief Superintendent agreed.

* * *

"Sam, listen I can't talk right now but I need to see you urgently." Lorna's voice was hushed, her words tumbling out in a rush as soon as Sam answered her desk phone.

"I'm just heading home, want to meet me there?" the DI asked as she continued to pile her paperwork back into files ready for stowing in their rightful cabinets.

"Ummm, yeah ok, that would work I think. I'll be there in about half an hour, I just need to finish this up." Lorna mentally ran through everything she already knew and what her discoveries had led her to believe, the thoughts giving rise to goose-bumps all over her body. The more the investigation turned up, the less sure she was of whom she could trust, except for Sam. After disconnecting the call, she downloaded the photos and reports to an encrypted USB memory stick, tucking it safely into the internal pocket of her black leather blazer-style jacket. With one last look around the lab to make sure everything looked in order, she strode out of the building, heading for her car and setting course to a local cybercafé. After paying in cash for an hour's usage, she logged on to an anonymous email account and attached the files to a new message. Typing a short curt note, explaining the contents, she hit the send button and logged off. Her heart was pounding and she hoped that she was simply overreacting and being ultra cautious but not willing to take a chance, she wandered into a nearby general store, checking to make sure no one was paying her undue attention before buying a bottle of rosé wine, again paying in cash, and taking a convoluted route back to where she had parked her car. She drove in circles for a while, again making sure that she was not being followed, before she headed to Sam's house to share with her the latest developments on the case, which appeared to be growing into a three-headed monster that she was wholly unsure they were capable of defeating. She hoped that Sam would understand why she had sent the email and support her decision to include someone who might have more success in bringing the matter to a close than they could hope to.

* * *

"Lucy, is everything ok?" Sam asked as she stepped out of her car and saw the brunette sitting hugging her knees to her chest on the doorstep.

"Not really. Jo's ill." The detective assumed that Lucy was referring to Jo's ongoing illness and that nothing would be ok until she got the all clear.

"I know, but apart from her being ill, is everything ok? Did we arrange to meet and I've forgotten?" Sam considered it to be quite possible after the day she had had.

"No, I mean she's ill, not the cancer, she's got an infection, I can't see her until she's better, stronger. I'm sorry Sam, I just didn't know where else to go." Lucy lifted her head as she struggled to stand, allowing the older woman to see her properly for the first time.

"How long have you been here? You're frozen. Let's get you inside, get you a hot drink and then you can tell me what's going on with Jo." Sam wracked her brain for the best course of action. She knew she couldn't turn Jo's lover away, especially not in her current state, but she knew that Lorna would be arriving any moment with a pressing need to discuss the case. She only hoped that Lorna would understand. Unlocking her front door, she ushered Lucy inside before the swarthy woman could object, directing her to sit on the sofa and wrapping her in the blanket Sam kept to hand for particularly cold evenings. Assuring her that she would be joining her in a moment, Sam entered the kitchen, filling the kettle with water and preparing three mugs with coffees of varying degrees of strength. She added an tot of brandy to each one, feeling that they each were going to need it for a variety of reasons. Just as she finished pouring the boiling water into the mugs, her doorbell rang. Sam swept up the drinks and carried them through to the lounge, depositing them on the closest table before letting Lorna in and bringing her into the room.

"Sam, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were expecting company. I'll get out of your way." Lucy was already on her feet when Sam returned, making a move towards the front door.

"No, it's ok Lucy, you stay. We can do this later or another time, Sam." Lorna too moved back towards the door she had only just entered through.

"Both of you are staying," Sam informed them firmly, her expression set and daring either woman to argue with her. Meekly, Lucy retook her seat on the couch, grateful for the warmth when Sam tucked the blanket back around her. "Stay there, we'll be back in a moment." Sam waited until she was sure the young woman wouldn't bolt as soon as she left the room before signalling for Lorna to join her in the kitchen. "I came home to find her sitting on the doorstep. Something's up with Jo, I can't turn her away." She spoke in hushed tones, standing close to Lorna and taking in her concerned expression and fatigued eyes.

"Nor would I expect you to. I meant it Sam, we can do this later if needs be, I can give you some time and come back once Lucy's sorted." Even as Lorna said the words, she was admitting to herself that it would probably be impossible, that once she left Sam's company that night, it might be the last time she saw her for a while. She had already made arrangements for her sister to take care of Katie, claiming that she had been booked onto a forensics course in Manchester at the last minute and would be gone for the remainder of the week.

"No we can't, this is obviously important. I want you to stay, I want you to be here so that when we get Lucy settled we can talk through whatever it is that has you so obviously rattled. Now, do you need to make arrangements to get Katie here or do you have to be home by a certain time?" Sam stepped even closer to the Scot, invading her personal space and eradicating all but the most narrow of gaps between their bodies.

"Katie's staying with her aunt for a few days," Lorna admitted, reluctant to leave this woman's company.

"Good, we have all night then." Despite the situation, Sam's words and the burr of her voice sent shivers of anticipation down Lorna's spine. The words washed over her like a physical caress, igniting fires and fanning their flames in a heady dance of desire. Subconsciously, her tongue darted out, trailing over her lower lip in a move which sparked Sam's own inferno. The petite blonde brought her own lips to Lorna's mouth, massaging gently, nipping impishly and soothing lovingly with her tongue. The kiss was brief, both mindful of Lucy's presence in the other room and not wishing to neglect her as they got carried away, but it was just enough to take the edge of both of their thirsts for contact for that moment, at least.


	25. Chapter 25

**_Many thanks to A for Antechinus & Sez01 for your reviews and since tomorrow is going to be an early start and a busy day, I thought I'd post this tonight instead. _****_Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas etc to anyone who reads this, hope it is a bright and happy time for you all._**

**_Yada yada yada, I don't own 'em, I don't make any profit from them, heck I don't make any money at all from this, just having some fun._**

**__**

**_Enjoy and as always, I humbly await any reviews/words of wisdom/constructive criticism you might want to launch my way!_**

* * *

"She's finally asleep," Sam stated as she returned to the lounge. It had taken herself and Lorna a couple of hours to persuade Lucy to stay and to hear the latest news of Jo's battle. Lorna could see that Sam too was worried for her friend and had been a tower of strength for both women, reassuring them that Jo was in the best possible place and that her temporary quarantine was simply a necessity to give her the best chance of fighting off the infection and not contracting any further viruses while she was so vulnerable. "Fancy another drink before we talk about what brought you here?"

"Yeah, but there's something else I'd like too if possible?" Lorna asked shyly.

"What's that then?" Rather than verbalising her answer, the Scottish woman opted to wrap her arms around Sam's slender waist and pull her close, leaning her head down to rest on top of Sam's blonde crown. She held her tightly, yet delicately, as though it would be the last time ever she would have the opportunity to do so – which, Lorna admitted to herself, it could quite possibly prove to be. She was overcome with a need to show Sam just how much she meant to her, despite their agreement that they would take things slowly. She lowered her head, trailing feather-light kisses along Sam's neck, nipping at the tendons which stood out prominently when she tilted her head to allow Lorna greater access. A gentle whimper of approval escaped Sam's lips as Lorna's hand drifted up to rest on her small, pert breast, her nipple hardening at the contact despite the layers of clothing in between. "Lorna…" The Scot was unsure whether the whispered word was a plea for more or a request to slow down. Leaving her hand where it was, she drew back to look into her lover's eyes to find the answer. The dark liquid pools of desire staring back at her stole the breath from her lungs. She lunged forward, pinning Sam between her own body and the edge of the sofa, capturing her lips in a searing kiss that spoke of her burning need to touch the other woman. They sank down onto the sofa still attached at the lips, with Lorna moving to straddle the now seated Sam. The detective allowed her hands to wander to the edge of the teal coloured jumper Lorna was wearing, teasing it up enough to let her fingers brush against the smooth, soft skin of her lower back, tracing the outline of each verterbra and causing a sharp intake of breath. The feel of Sam's hands on her bare skin broke the last shred of Lorna's resolve. Breaking their kiss, she took hold of the hem of her jumper and tore it off over her head, chest heaving as she watched Sam's eyes fix on her simple cotton bra encasing modest breasts. Seeing the flicker of uncertainty in the expressive blue eyes of her companion, Lorna reached down and peeled Sam's hands off her hips and placing them over Lorna's barely covered breasts. Her nipples reacted instantly and she hissed at the contact, arching into the touch which pressed her groin into Sam's own. "Oh God…" Sam groaned quietly, eyes rolling back into her head and her hands taking on a life of their own as they mapped the contours of Lorna's breasts, tracing ever hardening, straining nipples and revelling in the rocking motion of Lorna's hips.

"Touch me…" Lorna begged, her voice raw with her need. The realisation of what they were doing, in such an open setting with Lucy upstairs suddenly dawned on Sam.

"Lorna, wait… Lorna please, stop…" Sam's words penetrated the haze of arousal surrounding the redhead's brain. With difficulty, she stilled her hips but remained in her position straddling Sam's lap.

"Please Sam, I need you," Lorna pleaded, her eyes expressing how strong that need was.

"We agreed to go slowly," Sam reminded her, resting her hands back against the cushions of the sofa, not daring to touch Lorna in case her own resolve melted. Something about the situation was niggling at her though, something that didn't sit well with the Lorna she knew and was growing to love. "We have all the time in the world and I want it to be something special when it happens. I don't want either of us to wake up the next morning with regrets."

"We don't know how long we have. What if we only have tonight? What if this is it? Our one shot?" Lorna began peppering kisses along Sam's neck once again. Despite her best efforts to remain impassive, Sam wrapped her arms around Lorna's slim form. She felt the other woman trembling.

"What is it Lorna? Talk to me? What's brought this on?" Sam managed to rasp out, even as Lorna's lips did their utmost to distract her from rational thought. "Please Lorna, you're worrying me, this isn't like you. What's going on?" Lorna's mouth stopped its oral assault on Sam's neck and her head dropped against Sam's shoulder. The shaking intensified and after a moment, Sam realised that Lorna was actually sobbing. "Hey, sshhhh, it's ok, it's going to be ok. Whatever it is, we'll take care of it, together." Sam managed to manoeuvre them both so that they were lying face to face on the couch, legs entwined, arms wrapped around one another. "Come on sweetheart, talk to me. What's this all about?"

"Sam, I… This investigation; the fire, the children, the videos, it's bigger than either of us could have imagined. The DNA results came back today. Dawid was held in that room, which means the videos of him were almost undoubtedly shot in the second room that was in that basement. We can safely assume that there was at least one other room used for filming in the main part of the house, given that the angle and size of the dome and cross on St Barnabas' school are consistent with those seen in the videos Izzy was forced to watch by Kirk. Any physical evidence from rooms above ground though was destroyed in the fire or in the aftermath by the fire brigade when they doused the flames. There is more than enough evidence in that basement though to prove what was going on and a good number of examples of who was doing it too. Sam, the people involved… alone, we'll never manage to get a result on this. We're talking politicians, musicians, actors, high ranking police officers way above Heaton's pay grade, doctors, teachers and a chief executive of a local government all implicated in being in that basement. It's massive and very well connected. There's no wonder it hasn't been cracked before, or that these people will do whatever's necessary to make sure their secrets remain hidden." Lorna's voice was breathless, her expression having switched from dazed to petrified. "I emailed a copy of the DNA reports, photographs and transaction listings to the Independent Police Complaints Commission from an anonymous email account on my way over here but it wouldn't take someone long to piece together who sent it. Sam, I've asked to meet with someone from the IPCC tomorrow to discuss this, in a neutral location and after that, I've no idea what's going to happen. I've taken some time off work effective immediately – I told them I needed it urgently to look after my sick mother but honestly, I have no idea if or when I'll be able to go back. When it becomes common knowledge that someone has requested an independent investigation into the handling of investigations surrounding these videos – both this current one and ones in the past where those investigating have met with mysterious accidents – we both need to be aware that we're going to be in a lot of people's sights. There could very well be risks involved, significant risks. I need to lie low for a while and that means not seeing you – I won't be the one to put you in any more danger than you already are."

"Where will you go?" Sam clutched Lorna to her, suddenly understanding much more clearly what had led to their frenetic make-out session.

"I don't know and even if I did, I'm afraid I wouldn't tell you. I know it sounds overly dramatic but I can't rule out the possibility of them using what we feel for one another to get you to tell them where I am." Lorna saw Sam begin to object and placed her fingers against her lips to prevent it. "I know you wouldn't tell them voluntarily but these are not likely to be reasonable people we're dealing with. They all have a lot to lose and will do whatever they must to eliminate any threat to their circle. They can't get information out of you if you don't know it."

"You think that would stop them trying? You think that they would believe you hadn't told me anything? Come on Lorna, don't be so naive. We both know that they wouldn't believe for a moment that we hadn't shared at least some information about what was going on. I think it's fairly safe to assume that Heaton has had Stuart or some other lapdog keeping tabs on us which means he's going to know how much time we've spent together recently and no matter what they believe about the nature of our relationship, I'm sure they're going to assume that somewhere, in all that time, we've spent a while talking shop. They are ruthless and they are desperate and when they find themselves backed into a corner, they are going to be more dangerous than ever. You need to be close to home where you can be protected, where I know that you're ok so I don't take my eye off the ball and do something stupid because all I can think about is you. Damnit Lorna, please see the sense in what I'm saying. Don't make me lose you, please." Sam's eyes misted over at the thought of not being able to see the vibrant redhead. She had come to be such a natural part of Sam's life in recent weeks that the very idea of her not being there cut like a knife.

"I don't want to put you at risk," Lorna insisted quietly, her own voice thick with unshed tears.

"You're not. I put myself in the crosshairs the moment I took this case on and refused to let it go without getting to the bottom of it. You're not to blame for any of this and if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have any hope of ending the ongoing abuse of all these children who have been caught in their web. I want to be there with you when you speak to the IPCC. Let me support you, let me help you and let me do what I do and put this case to rest once and for all, for every person who has been affected by it. And once that's done and the matter is closed, let me take you out for dinner or to a movie or to the theatre, on a proper, official date." Sam snuggled closer to her lover, content to be held in the circle of her arms.

"I don't like the idea of you drawing any more attention to yourself…" Sam cut Lorna off with a stern look.

"Lorna, this is my job, it's what I do on a daily basis. If you can't deal with that then this is a non-starter between us." She pulled away as much as the space she was occupying between Lorna and the back of her sofa would allow, withdrawing from the embrace and levelling an intense stare at the other woman.

"This is an extreme situation, Sam. It's not every day in your job that you come across a child pornography ring which is so well connected they could kill you, dispose of your body and prevent anyone from asking awkward questions! I don't have an issue with your day to day work, hell I should understand it better than most given my own line of work, but this…this is something else. Tell me honestly that you're not worried about your own safety." Lorna implored the stubborn woman to listen to reason as she saw it.

"I can't do that, of course I'm concerned about what the implications of this investigation might be both for myself and more so for you but that doesn't mean to say I'm prepared to walk away from it and let them win, again, like they have so many times in the past because of their strong armed tactics and bullying behaviour. I don't care if the Prime Minister himself is implicated in your findings, it has to stop and we have the means to make that happen. Besides, look at it this way, if there are two of us to corroborate the information, they will have to consider looking into it more carefully than if it was just the say so of one person, no matter what evidence you've sent them. Files, photos can be faked – fair enough the DNA results should speak for themselves but the rest, you may need to convince them of their authenticity. We make a formidable team Lorna, let us do this together and let a whole lot of children live their lives freely without the risk of them falling into these predators hands." Sam tried to sit up, to give herself distance from her companion's body but was stalled by Lorna wrapping her arms around Sam's torso and tugging her closer once more.

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" Sam shook her head but remained silent. "I can see I'm going to have to pick my battles with you carefully if I want to stand any chance of winning, ever." Lorna smiled to show that she was teasing. A certain tension lingered between them as they lay face to face, each studying the other's features. Sam read the resigned acquiescence in Lorna's eyes and accompanying sigh, her own expression softening in response. "Please don't let me regret this."

* * *

Sam strode into DCI Meadows office as soon as he called out to grant her entrance.

"Sam, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Jack was fond of the DI, despite their run-ins and frequent disagreements over the handling of cases. He knew he could trust her to act in the best interests of whatever case she was investigating, even if some of her techniques did make him uncomfortable. He watched the blonde dynamo glance around his office, an air of nervousness about her he was unaccustomed to seeing. "Is everything ok? Is it Jo?"

"No, no, I mean Jo's not doing so well, she has an infection but that's not why I'm here. Jack… can I trust you? If I tell you something, something which could have a massive impact on all of us, can I trust you to keep my confidence?" Sam knew she was taking a big risk but she hoped that her instincts were correct and that the man who had seen so many years on the force would not prove to be intrinsically linked to the paedophile ring they had uncovered.

"Well it depends on what you tell me. If it condones breaking the law, you know I can't turn a blind eye and you should know better than to ask," Jack replied carefully, not liking where the conversation was going already.

"You wouldn't be complicit in anything illegal, in fact I'm hoping that you can be an ally in preventing further crimes from being committed." Sam watched her immediate boss carefully, keeping her tone as neutral as possible and her voice low. She was only too aware of how painfully thin the walls were and the last thing she needed was for Heaton to overhear their conversation from the office next door.

"What's going on, Sam?" Jack's tone demanded an immediate and full response. Taking a deep breath, the DI outlined all that Lorna had discovered and the actions which they had taken following the disappearance of critical evidence. A long moment of stunned silence followed before DCI Meadows asked, "who else knows about this?" Sam informed him of Jo and Grace's limited knowledge but assured him that beyond them, only herself and Lorna were aware of the full extent of the ring.

"Lorna and I are meeting with the IPCC this afternoon to discuss the information she emailed to them last night. It was the only way she could think of to try and force an investigation into this." Sam twisted her hands in her lap nervously, knowing that there was no going back. She had either gained an important ally or just signed her own and Lorna's death warrants and possibly those of Grace and Jo as well if Jack was implicated and it was deemed they were a risk.

"It's going to be a long and difficult fight, are you and Lorna sure you want to stir up this particular hornet's nest?" Jack held a hand up to forestall Sam's furious response, "I fully understand that they cannot be allowed to continue getting away with it but I want you both to be fully aware of the risks you're taking. It is highly possible that you won't get the outcome you hope for and depending on how it goes, it could mean you have to leave the force to protect yourself and your family. If you tell me you've considered all the possibilities and you still want to go ahead then I am willing to back you every step of the way. I will do whatever I can to protect you from Heaton and his henchmen and I will utilise every contact I know I can trust to dig for more information to nail them to the wall." Sam's fury dissipated as she listened to Jack's impassioned pledge of support, knowing that he too would be risking a lot to see justice done.

"Lorna and I talked a lot last night, about the risks, about our families and how it might affect them, about our careers but the thought of what is happening to too many children because no one has been able to stand up to the men responsible for their abuse… it cannot be allowed to continue. Fear is what they thrive on, fear and the power it allows them to exercise over others. We might not get them all and we might die trying but someone, somewhere at some point has to say enough is enough." Sam remembered how she and Lorna had lain in Sam's bed, wrapped in one another's arms, simply needing to hold each other close as they accepted their path lay on the treacherous road ahead.

"I'll cover for you this afternoon and I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything from any of my contacts." Jack effectively dismissed his detective as he turned his attention to the phone on his desk.

* * *

Jo yanked the buds out of her ears, losing patience with the tunes filtering through from her tiny mp3 player. She hadn't realised quite how welcome the distraction of having other people around was until she was placed in quarantine and received her treatments with no one else around. She let her head fall back on the pillow, willing the room to stop spinning so that she might stand some hope of reading or watching television to pass the time. The days were dragging without the promise of seeing Lucy to look forward to and Jo found herself missing her young lover more than she thought was possible. Reaching for her mobile phone, Jo squinted at the tiny screen, concentrating all her energy into focusing on the characters appearing as she tapped the keypad gently.

"_Hi babe, how r u? Miss u so much, wish I was home in r bed with u in my arms. Love u darling xox_"

Flicking through the messages already held in her phone's memory, she re-read a text which Sam had sent her the previous day.

"_Hey Jo, hope ur hanging in there & not giving the nurses 2 much grief. Dawid's safe, back w/family. Missing u & will b in as soon as ur allowed visitors again. Lots of news 2 share. Luv Sam x_"

Tears sprung to her eyes which she swiped away angrily as she felt renewed relief at the young boy's return. She was also more than a little intrigued by Sam's promise of there being news to share, wondering if it had something to do with the mystery woman she had hinted at having feelings for prior to Jo's admission to hospital. If truth be told, Jo was only mildly surprised to hear that Sam was considering pursuing a relationship with a woman. She and Sam had danced around a mutual attraction soon after her return from her undercover assignment in Nottingham, after growing closer following Seth's death and how Sam had helped her recover and deal with her grief and guilt for her part in his death. They had even gone as far as to go out together on a few 'dates' but it had never materialised into anything more than a close, strong friendship. The fact that Sam had considered it though made Jo more than aware that she was open to exploring any opportunity for a partner despite her having only openly dated men in the past. She missed her friend almost as much as she missed seeing Lucy each day. Jo tapped the keys to open up a new message, suddenly overcome with a need to touch base with her friend and colleague.

"_Hi Sam, how's things? U managing there w/out me? I'm behaving so well, I'm hoping 2 b let out early 4 good behaviour. Glad D's home. What news? U dating ur woman yet? ;o) Can't wait 2 c u. Miss u 2. Love Jo xox_"

She sank back into the pillow on the narrow hospital bed, eyes turning to the IV drip. She watched the noxious liquid ooze through the narrow tube and into her body as her thoughts meandered over past conversations with Sam and how their relationship had morphed from hostility and competition into the solid, unwavering friendship that they now enjoyed. It had been a long, drawn out process which Jo had to admit had been assisted by Jo's temporary relocation to Nottingham. The loss of Seth had proved to be a catalyst, driving the two women closer as well as bringing a realisation that life is too swift and too brief to waste on petty disagreements and pissing contests.

* * *

"This is quite some information you brought to us, Ms Hart." Eric Marshall settled his generous frame into the worn plastic bench seat across from the redhead and her blonde companion.

"All of it is genuine and all of it has been obtained legally during the course of an ongoing investigation into the disappearance of a young boy and subsequently a fire at a house believed to be the location for filming numerous pornographic movies involving minors." Lorna's voice remained low, calm, steady, despite the fact that Sam could feel her trembling beside her.

"I'm not doubting the veracity of your information. To be frank, we have had complaints regarding this group previously but have always been unable to find sufficient proof to force an investigation. You, ladies, have provided us with the golden key we need to proceed and no amount of peer pressure is going to make this go away this time." Marshall's eyes twinkled in anticipation of the furore which would result from the fallout from the investigation. He realised that there would be resistance along the way, that the force might prefer to conduct a low-key, in-house investigation and force those responsible out via the backdoor without the public ever being aware. But he was also aware of his responsibility, both morally and professionally, to see justice done for all those whose lives had been affected by the paedophile ring.

* * *

"Hi darling, how are you feeling?" Lucy slipped into the hospital room for the first time in a week, Jo's infection finally having cleared her system sufficiently for the doctors to allow her visitors once more.

"So very, very glad to see you," Jo murmured sleepily, feeling the effects of that morning's treatment but valiantly battling against her fatigue in order to visit with the woman she had missed so terribly.

"The feeling's mutual Jo. God, I've missed you." Lucy sank into the plastic chair beside the bed, reaching for her lover's hand and holding it between both her own. She wished she could kiss her, to show her how hard it had been to stay away from her. "You beat it Jo, you're so strong. I'm so, so proud of you."

"I had a hell of an incentive – you. I believe you promised to make an honest woman of me once I beat this cancer. Nothing will make me fight harder than the thought of spending the rest of my life waking up beside you." Jo smiled at the younger woman, feeling the need to pinch herself just like always. She wondered if her sense of awe would ever recede but hoped in some ways that it wouldn't, that she would never become complacent and take Lucy's presence for granted.

"I wasn't sure you'd remember that conversation, you were quite poorly at the time," Lucy admitted shyly, overjoyed that it had provided the impetus for Jo's latest fight.

"I was but I wasn't delusional. I've had a lot of time while I've been in isolation to think about what I want from life, where I want to be and whilst those things may change, the one constant is that I can't imagine my life without you in it. I want you by my side, always, through everything I do. I want you to see the same things I see, go the same place, share the same experiences. I want the world to know what a lucky woman I am because I have the most incredible, beautiful, amazing, caring person by my side. I'm yours babe, completely and utterly yours and whilst I can't promise to make that official right now, I need you to know that for as long as I'm still around, that will always be true."


	26. Chapter 26

**_Well I can guarantee that this is my last post... of 2010! Lol. Just 45mins until the clock strikes midnight and another year is gone. Hopefully, 2011 will see less upheaval although I'm not holding my breath on that one. The good news is though that I seem to have (currently at least) found a nice balance between work and play which means I actually get time to write while my muse is willing to play._**

**_Thanks to Sez01, A for Antechinus and iheartsergeantsmith for your reviews, very gratefully received and I'm glad you're enjoying the ride. I've got a few more chapters in the tank yet so even if I hit bumpier times, there's still 5 more chapters completed and ready to upload :) And never fear, there will be more Sam/Lorna interraction in the coming chapters - quite a bit more if my memory serves me correctly! Lol._**

**_Hope you enjoy this chapter too. As always, I don't own 'em, I make no profit and I promise to play nicely with them. Onwards ever onwards. Happy New Year to you all and may 2011 prove to be everything you could wish it to be. Thanks for keeping reading._**

* * *

"In what appear to have be co-ordinated raids which took place during the early hours of this morning, police have arrested a number of people in relation to an investigation into a child pornography and smuggling ring. Among those arrested were Shadow Education Secretary Phillip Hulme, soap actor Johnny Delphino, Solitary lead singer Tobias Muncastle, ex-Scotland international footballer Adam McKinley along with the Deputy Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police and other high ranking police officers. It is the largest and most high profile raid ever conducted by police and involved the cooperation of forces up and down the country. The Metropolitan Police declined to comment on the fact that a number of their own officers had been arrested, stating that they were unable to discuss the particulars of any individuals being questioned as part of an ongoing investigation." Sam listened to the news bulletin on the portable television in Lorna's kitchen as she sipped her morning coffee before getting dressed and ready for work. The past fortnight had been intense and hectic since Lorna and herself had met with the IPCC. The investigation had been taken out of their hands and it was only Eric Marshall's continuing assurances that wheels were in motion behind the scenes that persuaded her it had not been brushed under the carpet once again. Eric had advised both herself and Lorna of the need for discretion, that all hints of an investigation had to be handled off the radar to prevent anyone from being tipped off until such a time as they were ready to make arrests. As such, the information had been turned over to MI5, the organisation's technological and legal reach far outstretching that of the Sun Hill Police Force's.

"They finally nailed the bastards then?" Lorna murmured as she wandered into the kitchen, newspaper in hand displaying a suitably sensationalistic headline regarding the arrests.

"It's a start at least though whether any charges will stick against them remains to be seen. I suppose this is where we really have to start watching our backs though now. I mean this last two weeks, it must have appeared that we were letting it go with our investigation having been consigned to the back burner in favour of the stabbing on the Cockcroft Estate but this…" Sam trailed off with a worried, pensive look, chewing nervously on her lower lip as the news report filled her silence.

"…total of thirty arrests were made, in various parts of the country, but mainly centred around London's boroughs, in connection with this investigation. It is believed to be linked to the recent disappearance of Dawid Podowski, whom has since been reunited with his family. We'll have more on this breaking story as details become available." The screen switched to the woman's co-anchor as the next story began; a new death of another soldier in war-raddled Afghanistan.

"Hopefully, with it being so high profile, anyone involved will go to ground rather than risk further scrutiny. We have to hope that having the IPCC on our side and with Jack knowing about our involvement, we will be protected to some extent. Have you heard from the station whether Heaton was picked up in the raids this morning?" Lorna enquired, entering Sam's personal space and sliding her arms around the shorter woman, who leant into the embrace and rested her head against the Scot's chest.

"No, but I'm due on shift in an hour so no doubt I'll find out sooner rather than later." Sam sighed as she allowed herself to relax in the arms of the woman who was coming to mean so much to her. "This feels so nice, so right, can't we just stay here and hide from the world?"

"As much as I would like nothing better than to keep you in my arms all day Sam, there are still criminals out there who need stopping and there's no one better to do that than you," Lorna murmured, dropping a tender kiss into Sam's hair and giving her a final squeeze before letting go and moving towards the coffee Sam had left for her on the breakfast bar. Sam was surprised at how Lorna's departure left her feeling, having to stop herself from following and reattaching herself to the other woman.

"Morning Mum. Hiya Sam," Katie called as she entered the kitchen, stifling a yawn as she flopped into a chair at the table.

"Morning love, did you sleep ok?" Lorna asked her daughter tenderly receiving a nod in reply.

"Hi Katie," Sam responded quietly, still feeling a little shy about the young girl knowing that she had spent the night, following Lorna's revelation that Katie knew their feelings were less than platonic for one another.

"Isn't Jo coming home today?" Katie directed her question at the petite blonde, sensing her discomfort and focusing on a conversation topic which she would hopefully be comfortable discussing.

"All being well this morning, yes. I know she's really looking forward to getting out of the hospital for a while. She's still got to go back for daily chemo starting on Wednesday but only for three days and then if her test results are as they should be, she can have a four week break," Sam informed the young girl with a fond smile, excited and buoyed by the prospect of Jo making progress enough to spend time away from the hospital. In all the activity of the previous weeks, she had only managed to visit her once or twice but hoped that after she was settled at home and visiting hours were less restrictive, she would be able to spend a little more time with her friend.

"Excellent. I bet Lucy's excited isn't she?" Katie and Lucy had been texting one another ever since the night they had been playing computer games at Sam's and the two had developed a firm friendship already.

"She certainly is. She's a little worried too I think in case Jo becomes ill again and there are no medical staff around to intervene but mostly, she's just glad to be having the chance to bring Jo home, where she belongs." Lorna watched two of the most important women in her life chatting amiably, filled with a sense of home. She found she could easily imagine this becoming a regular morning routine, a prospect which warmed her heart.

Katie caught sight of her mother, leaning against the breakfast bar sporting a goofy grin as she gazed at Sam. "Earth to Mum, any chance of some breakfast? Or are you too busy admiring the scenery?" The young redhead giggled as Lorna blushed profusely, switching her gaze to Sam and finding an equally rosy hue adorning the blonde woman's cheeks too. "Oh for goodness sakes you two, what's to be embarrassed about?" Rising from her seat, mumbling good-naturedly about getting her own breakfast, she poked her mother in the ribs as she went past, "like lovesick teenagers the pair of you!" All three of them laughed at the gentle teasing before being interrupted by the phone ringing. Lorna excused herself to go and answer it, leaving an uncomfortable Sam in the kitchen alone with Katie. "Really Sam, you don't have to be coy around me. I know Mum likes you a lot and I can tell you like her too and I'm ok with it. So long as you don't hurt her and I don't have to see too much mushy stuff, I'm happy for you both." Katie smiled, sincerely this time to show Sam she meant what she said, that she was no longer teasing her.

"Thanks Katie, that means a lot. At the minute, we're just really good friends trying to navigate through some feelings but to know that we have your support is good. And I promise that if this turns into something more than it is right now, I'll try to get your Mum to keep the gross, embarrassing mushy stuff to a minimum!" Sam rejoined with a grin of her own.

"Would you like something for breakfast? I'm not exactly well versed in the use of a kitchen but I could manage to put some bread in the toaster for you or some cereal in a bowl I think." Sam was touched with how Katie was going out of her way to make her feel at ease, it being the first time Sam had stayed over whilst Katie was there. Though she and Lorna had shared a bed, they had done nothing more than held each other and shared a few, ok quite a few, passionate kisses, still not ready to push for anything more intimate until they had successfully shared a few official dates.

Sam laughed at the self-deprecating humour of the teenager. "Some toast would be great, thank you. I'm just going to go and grab my work stuff so I can dash off once we've had breakfast. I can give you a lift to school if you want? Save your Mum going out before she needs to."

"Sure, that'd be great, thanks," Katie responded enthusiastically as Lorna re-entered the kitchen.

"What would?" Lorna asked, looking between her daughter and her could-be lover.

"Sam's offered to drop me at school on her way to work," Katie supplied with a smile.

"Are you sure that's ok? I don't want to put you out or make you late or anything." Lorna was touched by the mere fact that the offer had been extended but wanted to make sure it wasn't out of some misplaced sense of obligation on Sam's part.

"Of course I'm sure, it makes sense since I'm going out anyway. It'll give you a bit more of a leisurely start to your day," Sam assured her companion with a tender smile.

"Thank you." Lorna's tone was intimate, reaching out to Sam like a physical caress. Sam simply nodded slightly in response, not trusting her own voice in case it betrayed the surge of desire which had coursed through her veins at the heartfelt display of gratitude.

"I'm doing toast for Sam, do you want some too Mum?" Katie broke in, effectively dismissing the tension between the two older women. Sam excused herself to gather her belongings, knowing that they would need to leave soon if she was to drop Katie at school and make it to work on time.

Once she was convinced Sam was out of earshot, Lorna focused her attention on her daughter, a proud gleam in her eye. "Thank you sweetheart, not just for making breakfast but for knowing that Sam was nervous and making this morning easier on her. How did you get to be such an amazing young lady?"

"Oh I don't know, I guess you might have had a little to do with that." Katie affected nonchalance but was inwardly glowing at her mother's praise. "I'll tell you the same as I told Sam. I'm good with the two of you being together in whatever way you want to be together. She's good for you, you look happier than I can remember you being since before Daddy died. But I have made her promise to make you keep the mushy stuff to a minimum when I'm around – there are some things a child does not wish to know or witness about their parent's love life!"

* * *

"Are you ready to break out of this joint then?" Lucy asked as she helped Jo to finish getting dressed, crouching down in front of her to lace up her boots.

"More than you would believe! I can't wait to spend the night in my own bed, surrounded by my own things, without that ever pervading smell of hospital in my nostrils. But most importantly, I am so ready to lie next to you, if you'll stay with me tonight?" There was an undercurrent of uncertainty in Jo's tone as she asked her lover to spend the night with her, a certain shyness which Lucy was not used to witnessing in the brunette.

"There's nothing in the world that could make me leave you, not tonight, not ever." Lucy rose from her haunches and cupped Jo's face between her own hands, tenderly stroking the smooth skin of her cheeks as she gazed at her adoringly. "Now, do you think you're going to be ok walking to the car or shall I fetch a wheelchair just in case?" Jo appreciated Lucy letting her make the decisions for herself, knowing the other woman wouldn't let her overdo it or push herself too hard but seeming to realise that she needed to feel like she had some control over some aspects of her life.

"Help me stand up so I can test my legs and I'll let you know," Jo requested holding a hand out, palm down, in invitation for Lucy to take it. Steadying herself against her girlfriend, Jo pulled herself upright, taking a moment to regain her equilibrium before making her decision. "So long as we take it steady, I reckon I'll make it on two feet." Lucy's steady gaze assessed the veracity of her lover's statement before she acquiesced with a tiny nod and swung the bag containing Jo's belongings over her shoulder and sliding the opposite arm around the taller woman's waist.

"Then let's quit this place and get you home." Slowly, the two women shuffled out of the ward towards the car park, thanking the nursing and medical staff on their way out for their care.

"Jo?" A familiar voice called as they stepped out into the cool late afternoon air. She turned her head in the direction of the voice, a broad smile appearing on her face as she spied her old work colleague and sparring partner, Phil Hunter.

"Phil, what you doing here?" Jo asked as the tall, brooding man approached the two women.

"I was in the A&E department interviewing someone, just heading back to the nick. How you doing? Sam mentioned to me you were in here last time I spoke to her." Despite his reputation (a well earned reputation) for being tactless and brash, Phil genuinely cared for the detective he had worked with.

"I'm doing ok, thanks. The nurses have finally had enough of me and kicked me out so I'm heading home. Unfortunately for Lucy here, she gets to be my nursemaid now." Turning to the woman standing silently beside her, she offered, "Phil and I used to work together when he was at Sun Hill."

"Nice to meet you," Lucy responded with a small smile as Phil looked to her.

"You too." Turning his attention back to Jo, he winked and told her in a stage whisper, "got yourself a good looking girl there, Jo. I'd be glad to take her off your hands if she ever gets bored with taking care of you. She can be my nurse any time she likes!" His leer was grossly exaggerated, to illustrate that he was just fooling around.

"In your dreams Hunter," Jo rejoined with a laugh, holding a hand up to forestall any further comment that might illicit regarding what precisely he would dream about. "Button it Detective Sergeant Hunter before I set Sam on you and let her whoop your ass into next week!" Knowing what was good for him, Phil simply smirked and offered to carry Jo's overnight bag to their car for them, leaving Lucy to concentrate on helping Jo remain upright.

"So how's the new job going? Anyone slapped you yet?" Jo quipped as they slowly meandered through the car park.

"Not quite, came close last week but my charm offensive worked in time to call the dogs off." Phil grinned his trademark cheeky smile as he recalled a particularly sparky conversation with one of his new colleagues. "It's good though, I'm getting used to it and working out who can take the banter and who can't." Phil stood by the back end of the car, waiting for Lucy to unlock it so he could deposit the bag in the boot.

"It still seems strange not having you around at Sun Hill, I can't quite get used to not having my daily dose of insults," the brunette detective teased, knowing Phil would understand that she missed him without her having to get all sentimental and say it outright.

"Well I've not dropped off the face of the earth you know. Let me give you my mobile number and any time you feel the need to be insulted or otherwise ragged on, give me a call, you know I'm always happy to oblige!" Phil pulled his notebook out of his pocket and scribbled his number on a blank sheet before tearing it off and handing it to Jo, who took it gratefully and stuffed it inside her jacket pocket with a promise to store it into her mobile as soon as she was home. Phil watched the two women climb into the car and drive away, waving them off and watching them until they were out of sight before he pulled his own mobile from his pocket. "They're on their way home from the hospital now. No sign of anyone hanging around paying them undue attention and no one followed them out of the car park either."

"Thanks Phil, I owe you a drink. I'm probably being paranoid but thank you for humouring me and putting my mind at rest. I'll talk to you soon and we can maybe see about getting together for that drink." Sam was immensely grateful at that moment for the friendship she and Phil had salvaged, knowing that he too cared a great deal for Jo and wouldn't want her to come to any harm.

"I'd like that, Sam. Anything else you need just give me a call and I'll do whatever I can. I know you can't talk to me about what it is that has you so rattled but do me a favour and stay safe ok? There's a lot of people who'd hurt if anything happened to you."

"I will Phil, I will. Thanks again."

* * *

"Who's in charge until they replace Heaton then? I mean, are we sharing with Barton Street or what?" Mickey asked, looking around the blank faces of his colleagues. With the exception of Sam, they had all been blindsided by the arrest of John Heaton and she was giving no indication that she knew any more than they did, not wanting to be put under scrutiny. Stuart had not spoken since he came on shift and discovered that Heaton had been caught up in the dawn raids on the paedophile ring, having always been assured that he was untouchable by the man. Sam had watched the colour drain from his olive-skinned face and fought to suppress the smirk as he folded in on himself, all previous bravado and brashness disappearing as he realised he was very likely in trouble too. He had to realise that the adage 'no honour among thieves' proved to be accurate all too often to work in his favour and she hoped it was only a matter of time before they could be rid of the insidious weasel of a man.

"At least for the immediate time it appears so, yes," Jack informed Mickey and the rest of the team, having heard the question posed as he entered CID.

"And longer term?" Terry asked, arms folded across his broad chest.

"I very much doubt anything's been decided yet given that the vacancy only arose a matter of hours ago. But as with any vacancy, should it come to it that the allegations against Superintendant Heaton are upheld, there will be an interview process and the most suitable candidate will be elected to fill the position. I think it's safe to say that in the meantime however we will all be under increased scrutiny to behave professionally and to prove to the public that they can trust us to uphold the law. None of this will make our lives any easier but in time, hopefully the public will see that it proves we shelter no one who commits a crime, no matter who they are, what position they hold or how far into the public eye they live their lives. Any cases that go to trial need to be watertight so make sure all your paperwork is completed thoroughly and diligently, make sure you keep your noses clean at work and in your personal lives and so long as you stay on the right side of the law, nothing can be used against you. Uniform are getting the same speech from Inspector Gold so don't let me down. We're all in the spotlight following this, let's make sure no more skeletons come out of the closet whilst the eyes of the nation are on us." Jack watched the majority of his officers nod their heads to acknowledge his words, the slight remaining colour draining from Stuart's face as he sat stationary, staring towards the floor. "Anyone who has anything they are concerned about – big or small, even if you think it's irrelevant – my door's always open." With a final glance around his team, Jack swept back out of the office, wondering if Stuart would voluntarily admit to his part in Heaton's persistent vendetta against Jo and Sam, which Jack had been filled in on by Sam during the previous week, or if he would wait for the wolves to come to his door.

* * *

Jo sighed in blissful relief as she sank down into the cushions of her sofa. "You have no idea how good this feels right now," she admitted to her lover, who hovered nearby watching with a concerned expression.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go straight upstairs? You look a little pale, should I fetch you a bowl just in case you're sick? And some water? How about something light to eat? Or a blanket, are you chilly? I can turn the heating up if you like," Lucy babbled, looking as though she would continue indefinitely unless Jo broke in and silenced her.

"Babe relax. I'm fine here, at least for the moment. Come and sit with me? Please?" Jo stretched out an arm, beckoning for the younger woman to join her. Lucy dropped down gingerly, keeping a slight distance from Jo lest she cause her pain. "I'm not so fragile you can't give me a cuddle, I promise. I mean, you don't have to… don't feel obliged to… but if you wanted to…" It was Jo's turn to ramble, allowing her uncertainty over her interpretation of Lucy's actions to show. Neither woman was used to feeling so tentative around one another, having always been comfortable in one another's space and company since they had first begun dating. As soon as Lucy leant back beside Jo, curling into her body and wrapping an arm around her trim waist, they felt the void being bridged. That same sense of coming home settled over them as they reclined in the casual, loose embrace, allowing each of them to release a deep sigh of contentment.

"God I've missed this," Lucy admitted, her lips brushing over the soft skin of Jo's slender neck, warm breath teasing the older woman and giving rise to goosebumps.

"Mmmmm, me too," Jo concurred dreamily, pulling Lucy more tightly against her and resting her cheek against the crown of the brunette's head. The two women sat in comfortable silence for many long minutes, simply drinking in one another company without interference from anyone else.

After a while, Lucy raised her head from its position in the crook of Jo's neck, fixing her girlfriend with a tender, sweet smile. "Hi," she murmured as Jo's blue brown eyes met her own.

Jo smiled back, leaning down and covering her lover's lips reverently with her own, offering a sensual, sensuous kiss by way of greeting, "hi yourself."

"I keep feeling like I should pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming this. It feels too good to be true to finally have you back here." Lucy confessed shyly, slapping the brunette's hand down when it went to do just that.

"It's real sweetheart, I'm here and I intend to stay here for a very long time so I reckon you've got a while to get used to it." Jo offered up another deep, loving kiss in an effort to assure her young companion she was not hallucinating.

"That's good because it might take me forever to get used to being kissed like that without my knees going to jelly!"

"Oh I don't want that to happen because if it does it either means you've gone off me or I'm losing my touch!" Jo replied in jest.

"I can assure you the former won't be happening. As for the latter, well, I guess we'll just have to make sure you get plenty of practice so that your technique never becomes rusty." For the next long while, the only sounds in the room were the quiet moans and whimpers generated as a result of the two women reacquainting themselves in the art of kissing one another.


	27. Chapter 27

**_First update of 2011 but by far from being the last I'm sure. Thanks to A for Antechinus and iheartsergeantsmith for taking the time to drop a review on the last chapter, your continued visible support is helping drive my muse on with continuing this tale. Hope this chapter lives up to its predecessors and as always, I warmly encourage anyone to review or if your of a more shy nature, drop me a PM and let me know what you think of the chapter/story as a whole. I always welcome feedback, be it good, bad or downright ugly so unleash on me by all means, my shoulders are broad, I can take it! Lol._**

**_As always, and after 26 previous chapters this should be plainly evident by now, I don't own any part of The Bill, its characters or settings. So please don't sue me, I'm not making a profit and I can divide nothing as many times as you like but we're all still going to come out with nothing! And now, onwards with the story..._**

* * *

"Has anyone seen DS Turner?" DCI Meadows asked striding into the centre of CID, eyes scanning every corner of the room as though he might find the errant officer lurking in the shadows.

"Not for a while guv, he said he had a meeting with an informant about a case he's working, left about two hours ago," Terry supplied helpfully, not trusting the oily sergeant.

"Do we know where this meeting was taking place?" There were ripples of headshaking around the office in response to Jack's question. "Well, if he comes back here before I have chance to speak to him, tell him I need to see him in my office please." Without waiting for a confirmation, Jack turned on his heel and returned to his office, closing the door firmly behind him. Sam waited a beat before rising from behind the desk in her own office and approaching the closed door. Knocking on it quietly, she waited to be invited in before stepping over the threshold.

"Everything ok guv?"

"Not really. I've got the IPCC wanting to speak to Stuart as a matter of urgency, they can't tell me why but I think we can both hazard a guess, and I've got to tell them that currently, he's nowhere to be found. He's not answering his phone or returning my calls and no one seems to have a definite location for where he was going to when he left here so we can't even begin to track him down." Jack ran a hand through his thinning hair, exasperation seeping from every pore.

"We could probably get the tech guys to locate his mobile phone – spin them some story about being concerned for his safety given today's media reports since he went off to meet an informant alone." Sam's mind was racing, wondering if Stuart had simply fled or if the people he was working for had removed him as a liability. There was every possibility that Turner had been lured out of the station in order for the loose end he posed to be dealt with.

"Get on it, at least then I can tell the IPCC that we're doing everything we can to bring him in so they can speak to him," Jack commanded, thankful that his DI was astute and rational.

"I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything. Don't worry Jack, we'll find him before any more muck can hit the fan." Sam could only hope her words would not prove to be wholly inaccurate, although a large part of her was ready for the snivelling weasel to be handed his comeuppance, whomever that came from.

* * *

"What do you feel like eating tonight? Shall I cook something or are we ordering in?" Lucy asked from where she lounged comfortably in Jo's arms on the bed, having joined her for a short nap after their make-out session on the sofa. Both women had remained fully clothed, Lucy recognising that Jo still had issues regarding her appearance to work through before they would be sharing a bed naked again and not wanting to cause her lover any unnecessary distress.

"Anything has to be better than hospital food. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure they do the best they can but 3 weeks of their menu was more than enough for me. What I'd really love is something simple, tasty and that takes little to no effort to eat. I know I need sustenance to beat this thing, I just don't know how long I can stay awake this evening so I don't want to still be trying to digest something when I flake out and wake up with indigestion." Jo carded her fingers through Lucy's luxuriant raven locks as she spoke, the action soothing her soul and lulling her into an even sleepier state despite having just woken up.

"Hmm ok, well I picked up some eggs and fresh wholemeal bread this morning so how does a boiled egg sandwich sound? Or I could do you scrambled egg on toast if you'd prefer?" Lucy knew she needed to move soon otherwise neither of them would be getting anything to eat until much, much later in the evening. The sensation of Jo's fingertips lightly grazing her scalp threatening to have her surrendering to slumber once more.

"Boiled egg buttie sounds perfect. You take care of that, I'll rustle us up a couple of hot drinks and what say we stick a DVD on while we eat? Something mindless and fun like Monsters Inc or one of the Toy Stories?" Jo was thinking kid's movie so that it was short and gave her at least some hope of staying awake throughout it.

"Sure thing, sounds like a fabulous way to spend an evening to me." Lucy climbed, reluctantly off the bed, straightening her t-shirt before turning and holding out a hand to help Jo up. After their initial awkwardness, they had found themselves reluctant to be parted from one another physically for anything more than a few moments.

Jo's mobile rang as they were pottering around the kitchen. She swiped it up from the counter, answering it deftly whilst pouring boiling water into two mugs, "hello?"

"Hi Jo, it's Sam. I don't want to intrude but just wanted to check you're settling in back at home ok? Is there anything you need?"

"You're not intruding at all, we're just fixing some sandwiches for dinner, well Luce is, I'm just cluttering up the kitchen so I can get my caffeine fix!" Jo laughed heartily as Lucy slapped her lightly on her bottom as she passed, capturing the young woman's wrist and bringing their bodies close together once more in a loose embrace. "Sam wants to know if there's anything we need?" Jo asked her lover quietly as the blonde woman awaited a response at the other end of the line.

"We've got plenty of food in and I've got everything I need right here in my arms so I think we're good for tonight. If Sam's free though, why don't you see about her coming to dinner tomorrow night? If you think you'll feel up to some company?" Lucy suggested giving her girlfriend a tender squeeze before squirming out of her arms to butter the bread for their sandwiches.

"Did you hear that, Sam?" Jo awaited confirmation before asking, "what do you think? Are you free to join us for dinner tomorrow evening?"

"I'd really like that, Jo. Let me know if there's anything I can bring with me – how about I provide dessert since I know wine is a no go?"

"You don't need to bring anything besides yourself, it's your company I'll be looking forward to. To be honest, I've not got that much of an appetite at the minute and just because I can't have a drink, doesn't mean you and Lucy have to miss out so feel free to bring some wine if you want to." Jo carried Lucy's drink through into the lounge, putting it down on the coffee table before returning to the kitchen to fetch her own.

"Well if you change your mind about dessert or if Lucy thinks of anything she needs me to pick up on my way over, give me a ring or text me. What time are you thinking? I'm off work tomorrow so I'm not tied to any particular schedule," Sam supplied helpfully.

"Would 5.30 be ok then? I know it's early but I'm a bit of a lightweight at the minute and keep falling asleep," Jo confessed with a self-deprecating chuckle.

"5.30 is fine with me, I won't keep you up late I promise. And if I do outstay my welcome, I want you to promise me you'll tell me you need to get to bed, ok?" Sam's voice was stern, indicating that she would brook no argument on the matter.

"No need, I'll just take myself off to bed when I need to. You and Luce will be fine by yourselves I'm sure," Jo stated, knowing that there had been many times two of the most important women in her life had spent time alone together recently and trusting that they had developed a sufficient friendship that they wouldn't miss her.

Sam ended the call with Jo and sat back in her chair, casting her mind forward to the following night and enjoying the anticipation of seeing her friend again. It surprised her just how much she had missed Jo's steady presence around the station and in her life. Although they did not socialise all that frequently, she always knew that the brunette was only ever a phone call away if she needed to talk and it was that accessibility that Sam had found lacking during her extended stay in hospital. She couldn't believe how much had happened in the previous three weeks, how far she had come in her understanding of her feelings for Lorna and her acceptance that moving forward into a relationship was the right thing to do. Considering how circumstances had thrown them together and sought to remind them of the fragility of life though, she supposed it was less surprising than it might have been. The telephone on her desk rang, bringing her out of her musings. Snatching it up, she listened to the brief report from the technician on the other end before returning it to its cradle and resting her head in her hands, rubbing at her eyes briefly. Wearily, she rose from behind her desk and made her way to Jack's office.

"Sam, come in, what do you have for me?"

"Nothing good, I'm afraid. I've just heard back from Jason, Stuart's phone must be turned off. The nearest they have been able to track it down to is two hours ago." Sam pulled out the map she had grabbed en route, spreading it out on his desk. Checking the coordinates Jason had relayed to her, she pointed out the general region on the map where Stuart was last known to have been. Jack retrieved an A-Z narrowing down the streets within the area and between them, they set to identifying likely places Stuart may have chosen to meet an informant.

* * *

Lucy looked over to where her lover was dozing, head tilted back resting against the plush cushions of the sofa. Despite her best efforts, Jo had only managed to stay awake for the first half of the animated film they had chosen. Stretching out her own kinked muscles, Lucy reached over and gently shook the older woman awake.

"Let's get you upstairs and into bed where you'll be more comfortable," she murmured softly, not wanting to completely rouse the exhausted brunette in the hopes that she would settle straight back off to sleep once she was relocated.

"Mmm, I'm sorry I'm not better company right now," Jo apologised with a gentle blush, rubbing the back of a hand tiredly over her eyes as she raised her head from where it had been lolling.

"Don't you dare apologise babe for listening to your body and doing whatever it needs to give you the best chance of fighting this. You sleep whenever you need to and you don't feel guilty for doing it, you hear me? Because if I catch you pushing yourself and making yourself more exhausted, so help me young lady you will be sorry!" Lucy punctuated her words with soft kisses and teasing grin to take some of the sting out of her admonishment. Whilst she meant every word, she didn't want Jo to feel like she was getting on her case and assuming she couldn't, or rather wouldn't, look after herself.

"Yes mother," Jo teased in return, stroking a hand tenderly down the side of her partner's face, cupping her cheek in her palm and guiding her in for another kiss. "Have I told you lately how much I love and adore you? I still can't work out what I did to deserve you but it must have been something incredible."

"I'll never tire of hearing you tell me you love me sweetheart and you are more than worthy of my affections," Lucy assured her as she guided her to her feet, dancing with her slightly as Jo swayed unsteadily for a moment. When she was sure that her lover wasn't about to keel over, she manoeuvred them towards the stairs, arm wrapped firmly around Jo's waist, still revelling in the close contact having been denied it for so long. Jo's hazy mind latched onto the knowledge that Lucy hadn't returned her sentiment, demons surfacing once again as she worried that her illness was too great a burden for the younger woman to cope with. Lucy handed Jo her sleepwear as they reached the bedroom. "Do you want to change in here or in the bathroom? I can leave you alone while you do if you want me to? You don't have to hide from me, you're still every bit as beautiful in my eyes, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable so whatever you need me to do, that's what I'll do." In her panic about the young brunette's feelings for her, Jo's insecurities regarding her appearance returned full force.

"I'll… just…I'll go… be right back," she stammered, eyes averted and cast towards the ground. She hurried past Lucy, ignoring the brush of an outstretched hand against her forearm and the concerned gaze fixed on her. Once in the bathroom with the door firmly shut behind her, Jo leant on the sink and blew out a shaky breath. She pulled her head up and looked into her own eyes in the mirror, critical gaze fixing on every slight wrinkle, every blemish, every shadow. 'Why would someone so gorgeous want you?' she silently asked her reflection. In that moment, every fibre of her being believed that Lucy would stay only as long as it took for Jo to fall asleep before she would steal away in the night never to return. Schooling her features, after she had changed into her pyjamas, she left the bathroom and re-entered the bedroom to find the bed turned down for her, a glass of water on the nightstand and the room illuminated by the bedside lamp. Lucy offered her a soft smile before brushing past her and making her own way into the bathroom. Jo settled herself into the bed, pulling the plush duvet up over her weary body and sinking into the soft comfort of her own bed with a quiet moan of appreciation. She was already drifting on a cloud of semi-consciousness when she felt the bed dip beside her, signalling the arrival of her lover. Instinctively, her body tensed, waiting for the physical rejection she expected to follow, figuring Lucy would extinguish the light and settle as far from her as she could get. Surprise overcame her as she felt Lucy roll towards her, snuggling in close and draping an arm across Jo's slender waist.

"I love you too darling, with all that I have and all that I am. Sweet dreams, my sweetheart." Lucy pressed a reverent kiss against Jo's neck before settling more comfortably against her with a contented sigh. Every fear, every doubt, which had crowded Jo's mind fled in an instant as a lightness swept through her soul. She truly felt like she had come home in that moment, lying beside her girlfriend, hearing the heartfelt declaration and feeling her so close in body and spirit. She was shocked to find tears pricking her eyes, feeling foolish and unkind for once again doubting the younger woman. A quiet whimper escaped her before she had chance to prevent it and Lucy shot upright, fear etched into her exquisite features. "Oh my God, Jo did I hurt you?"

The older woman shook her head, not trusting her voice and choosing instead to wrap her arm around the concerned brunette, guiding her back against the side of her body, pulling her in close. "Ignore me, I'm just being silly and sentimental," Jo confessed at length, reaching for the arm which had been draped across her and pulling it back to rest over her stomach, caressing the smooth skin absentmindedly as she strove to return to the relaxed state she had previously been enjoying.

Lucy had waited until Jo was settled in the bed, until she had changed and got comfortable, before she had returned Jo's 'I love you,' hoping that it would dispel any lingering doubts that Jo had had about how Lucy would feel regarding being intimate in any way with her. If Jo's tears were of a sentimental nature, she could only conclude that her plan had indeed succeeded in its intent. "I don't want to ignore you, I want to savour every last minute of being able to lie here in your arms again and if that makes me silly and sentimental too, the I'll gladly accept it."

"Me too babe, me too. I was just thinking of how this feels like home, having you here, in my arms, in bed together. I finally feel like I'm back where I belong. It caught me by surprise and overwhelmed me a bit is all." Jo shifted slightly, angling her body in order to bring herself even closer to her lover. After the briefest of pauses, Jo asked, "can we do this forever? Will you move in with me? And I don't mean so that you can be my nursemaid 24 hours a day until I beat this bloody disease. I mean move in with me and share my life, my home, my everything?"

It was Lucy's turn to feel tears threatening to fall as she considered Jo's request. Without a moment's pause, she replied, "I'd love to. Yes… yes, so very definitely yes!" She rose up once again, this time hovering over her lover with a tremulous smile before dipping down to kiss her, pouring every ounce of love and passion she could muster into the action. Jo responded fervently, worshipping the young woman's mouth as though it alone could give her the sustenance she needed to continue living. Lucy's hand began to wander from Jo's hip, trailing lower to rub gently against a strong, toned thigh encouraging the older woman to open her legs. The brunette complied subconsciously, lost in the sensations created by the kiss. Lucy swung a leg over Jo's thigh, settling her knee in the space created, pressing her own core against the leg beneath her. Jo slid her palms down Lucy's body, gripping her pert bottom and encouraging her to deepen the contact. The young brunette could feel the damp heat between Jo's thighs increasing as their kisses became more and more fevered, Lucy grinding into the muscular limb with rhythmic motion. They broke for air, sucking lungs full of oxygen in without ceasing their motion. "Baby, can I touch you?" Lucy asked breathlessly, hand once again resting against Jo's inner thigh to indicate her intent. The woman beneath her tensed and instinctively, Lucy seemed to read her fear. "I don't need to undress you, I just want to show you how much I love you. You don't have to take anything off, I can access all I need just fine as you are." Jo felt a flood of fresh arousal coat her core at her lover's understanding and care, suddenly wanting nothing more than to feel those talented fingers on her, in her, driving her over the edge of the precipice they were climbing towards. Without a word, Jo took Lucy's hand in her own, guiding it beyond the waistband of her loose fitting pyjama pants. Her lover took the cue, pressing on and dipping inside the panties which lay beneath. As her fingers slid ever lower, Lucy once again captured Jo's inviting mouth in a heady kiss, swallowing her moans of pleasure caused by the young brunette's hand sliding through the abundant moisture and heat. Jo tore her mouth away to suck in a deep breath on a hiss as two deft digits plunged into her core.

"Yes baby," she moaned sensually, hips undulating in time with the steady rhythm Lucy was setting.

"Tell me to stop any time you need to sweetheart. Tell me if I hurt you or it's uncomfortable at all, ok?" Their eyes locked, twin gazes inflamed and clouded with passion.

"I promise honey but that feels so good." Jo couldn't believe how alive she felt, how her fatigue had receded in the face of her almost desperate arousal. Her own hands settled at Lucy's hips, encouraging the woman on top to continue seeking her own climax against the thigh she was straddling, wanting nothing more than to feel them reaching the peak together. Lucy curled her fingers inside her lover, caressing the ridged flesh she knew would heighten her pleasure and drive her ever onwards towards ecstasy. Her lips fastened to Jo's pulse point on her neck, kissing, licking and nipping at the exposed skin. She used her hips to drive her fingers deeper into Jo's core, quickening her pace as she felt muscles beginning to contract both in her lover and in herself. Jo whispered words of encouragement, assuring the compassionate woman loving her that she was enjoying herself as much as Lucy was enjoying being able to touch Jo intimately once again. "So… close…" Jo ground out, arching her hips off the mattress, pressing her own thigh more firmly against Lucy's mound in the process, earning her a hiss of pleasure and more frantic rocking from the young woman.

"Yesssssssss," Lucy groaned, sensation overtaking her and ceasing coherent thought. Her thumb found Jo's sensitive bundle of nerves, massaging it in random patterns, mixing light touches with firmer sweeps, causing the writhing woman to cry out in ecstasy. Muscular walls clenched and unclenched spasmodically, squeezing Lucy's fingers, burying them deep within her body and holding them captive. The sight and sound of her lover giving herself over to her orgasm brought on Lucy's own climax and the two women clung to one another, panting and offering gentle strokes and caresses as they recovered their senses. "So beautiful," Lucy murmured as she kissed Jo's neck and gently extracted her fingers from their warm, wet resting place. Rolling back onto her side, she brought the hand to her lips, delicately licking and sucking the evidence of their lovemaking from each digit, savouring the taste and her lover's expression as she watched the display.

Jo couldn't believe how sensual, how erotic it was watching her lover delight in cleaning her juices from her fingers, fingers which only moments before had been deep within her, filling her and making her feel so loved. "Oh my God," she breathed, chest heaving, eyes still dark from lingering arousal. "You drive me wild, I've never known anyone who makes me feel like you do."

"The feeling's mutual sweetheart. This is it for me, you're my one, my everything. There's no one else I could want, nothing more I could want for, for as long as I have you by my side." Lucy cupped Jo's cheek and brought their lips together for another kiss, this one tender, intended to soothe rather than ignite their passions. They settled into a comfortable embrace once more, allowing their eyes to drift closed, lulling them into a satisfied slumber.

* * *

Sam listened to the familiar voice announcing she was unavailable, a slight frown creasing her brow as she checked her watch. "Lorna, call me when you get this message. Stuart's disappeared. We thought he might have been taken at first but Jack and I've been doing some digging. We tracked him to a shop where he bought an untraceable phone, his work phone was found disabled in a bin behind the shops. We've got officers scouring CCTV to see if we can spot which way he went from there but right now, we have no leads. I'm probably worrying over nothing but just call me and let me know you're ok when you get this, please?"


	28. Chapter 28

**_Back again, with another chapter. Huge thanks to Sez01, iheartsergeantsmith, A for Antechinus and Scription Addict for your lovely reviews on the last chapter - a big plate of cookies is coming to each of you for your kindness :) I hope you enjoy this chapter too, it's very Sam/Lorna centric I discovered! Lol._**

**_Disclaimers are the same as always. We all know I don't own The Bill or its characters or anything else to do with it really. No profit or indeed money of any kind is being made from this, just hopefully a few warm hearts and a couple of smiles, so no suing me because that's just not nice!_**

**_On with the show and enough of my drivel. If you do feel so inclined, I'd love for you to drop me a review and let me know what you think (and it is only encouraged, not compulsory, I won't confiscate cookies if you don't!). 'Til next chapter then._**

* * *

"Sam, hi, are you ok? Where are you? Are you only just getting home from work?" Lorna fired off a quick succession of questions as soon as the DI's voice sounded through the phone.

"Hi Lorna, thanks for calling me back so soon. I hope I didn't disturb you or interrupt anything?" Sam replied, deftly sidestepping answering any of the enquiries sent her way.

"No, not at all, I was just in the shower. So are you going to answer me or do I have to come over there and coerce a confession?" Lorna chortled as she heard Sam bark out a laugh. The blonde realised that the other woman knew her well already and understood that she was often reluctant to accept any concern for her own wellbeing, displacing it by reflecting it back on the other person.

"As much as I'd love to investigate your interrogation methods, I've no doubt Katie might object to being hauled across town at this time of night," Sam admitted somewhat reluctantly.

"Sam…" Lorna's voice held a warning tone as her questions still remained unanswered. "Talk to me honey. Would you like me to come over? Katie's at a friend's house so you don't have to worry about disturbing her. Or you can come over here if you'd like? Or we can just chat on the phone, whatever you prefer." Her voice was inviting, coaxing the diminutive blonde into letting her guard down enough to open up about what was on her mind.

Sam was torn between wanting to be near to the intoxicating redhead and not wishing to appear too needy and clingy. Her silence lingered between them, the line humming slightly as reception fluctuated. Just as Lorna feared she had lost the connection, Sam ground out, "can you come over, please?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Lorna assured on a breath, worried at the broken, desperate edge she had heard. Worries and fears nibbled at the edges of her mind; was Jo alright? Had Stuart made some sort of threat, veiled or blatant, before his disappearance? Was there something else about the case that Sam hadn't mentioned over the phone which was troubling her? Or was she just exhausted from running herself ragged trying to balance the case, supporting Jo and Lucy and finding time to explore whatever was developing between herself and Lorna? Had Sam agreed to see her to ask her face to face to back off and give her some space to concentrate on being there for Jo? The shadows chased her from her home and into her car, spurring her on as though she was being chased by the Devil himself. In what seemed no time at all, Lorna pulled up outside the now familiar residence and climbed from the car, bracing herself both against the keen wind and against what may face her once she crossed the threshold into Sam's domain. Taking a final deep breath, Lorna raised a hand and knocked on the door.

"Hi, come on in," Sam murmured shyly as soon as she answered the door, seemingly bashful about having made the request for Lorna to come out so late. Lorna stepped inside, through the gap Sam had created for her, into the welcoming warm home, offering her friend what she hoped was a reassuring smile as she brushed passed her. Sam didn't let her get very far before capturing her wrist, turning the taller woman to face her. Ever since she had ended the call to Lorna, Sam had been second-guessing herself, wondering what it was exactly about the redhead that made her need her so much when she was feeling even in the slightest bit vulnerable. Reaching out, the petite DI unsnapped the buttons holding the other woman's coat closed, pulling it open and sliding her arms around the slender waist of the woman beneath it. Lorna's arms naturally folded around the smaller frame molding itself to her curves, creating a cosy cocoon for the blonde. She stroked a hand over Sam's back soothingly as she felt the coiled tension within her ease slightly at the contact. "I'm sorry for dragging you out." Sam's voice was muffled but there was no mistaking the contrition in her tone.

"If I minded, I wouldn't have come love," Lorna replied, dropping a tender kiss on the crown of the head tucked beneath her chin. "And this greeting is definitely making it worthwhile," she quipped, glad to hear it earn a small chuckle from her limpet.

Reluctantly raising her head, Sam sighed, giving Lorna a glimpse of just how fatigued she was. "Can I interest you in a warm drink? I can do us hot chocolate or a cup of tea if you like? I don't know if coffee would be a great idea at this time, I don't have any decaf and I know I've already had more than is advisable today."

"Why don't you go and sit down and I'll make those drinks? You're almost out on your feet." Lorna ignored Sam's half-hearted protests about her being the hostess, that she should be waiting on Lorna and not the other way around. Instead, the redhead steered the other woman into the lounge and down onto the sofa they had shared numerous times before. "You take the weight off your feet and I'll be back in a few minutes." With a gentle kiss to her cheek and a squeeze of her shoulder, Lorna encouraged Sam to stay where she was before heading into the kitchen, shedding her coat and draping it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs as she went. She pottered about, warming milk in the microwave, boiling the kettle, adding hot chocolate powder to the hot milk and stirring it vigorously before topping each off with the boiling water. As she walked back through to the lounge with her offerings, she half-expected Sam to already be asleep such was her seeming level of fatigue. Apparently, the other woman was stubbornly determined to stay awake.

"Thanks," Sam acknowledged gratefully as Lorna set the two steaming mugs on the coffee table before sinking into the couch beside her. The two women automatically gravitated towards physical contact, curling into each other and wrapping their arms around one another.

"Want to talk about it?" Lorna offered quietly, fingers caressing Sam's upper arm gently. Sam semi-shrugged in the embrace, feeling her brain finally letting go of some of her angst in the face of Lorna's obvious care and concern. "What time did you get in from work?

Sam glanced at the clock before answering. "About an hour ago. I stayed on to help Neil co-ordinate the search for Stuart," she admitted with a sigh, frustrated at the lack of progress they had made.

"I take it you're still no closer to finding where he is?" Lorna felt Sam shake her head. "Are you concerned about what he might be planning to do? Or are you more concerned about his welfare?" Lorna tested the waters, wondering if there were any vague feelings for Stuart still lingering within Sam somewhere.

"I couldn't care less if someone gives him his comeuppance but I'd rather it happened through a court so that we could get some answers about why he got involved with the whole thing in the first place. I guess I want to know if he was already involved when we were sleeping together too. The thought that I could have allowed myself to be involved with someone willing to turn a blind eye to such abuse, if not actively facilitating it… it turns my stomach. I let him into my affections, I let him into my bed." Sam shuddered, physically and emotionally reviled.

"You can't do that to yourself, Sam. You can't torture yourself with what if's and if only's. Was there ever any point during your relationship with Stuart where you had any inkling he was involved in anything illegal at all? Not just this but anything at all? Did you ever suspect that he was capable of being corrupt to such an extent?" Lorna was pleased to see Sam seriously consider her questions, rather than just offering a knee-jerk reaction.

"No, never. He was immature and controlling, he could be jealous and possessive and dismissive of my feelings but I never felt uncomfortable with him from a moral point of view. I never felt like I was shielding someone, turning a blind eye to illicit activities just because I was in a relationship with him. I wouldn't do that, I couldn't, I love my career too much." Another thought struck Sam, her stomach roiling as a wave of nausea hit, "oh God."

"What is it Sam? What's the matter?" Lorna feared her probing may have unleashed some previously unacknowledged realisation.

"I almost had his child," the sickened blonde whispered. Lorna opted to squeeze Sam closer in a non-verbal gesture of support and encouragement to explain further. Sam took a few moments to regain some semblance of control over her voice before continuing, "I was pregnant with Stuart's child shortly before our relationship ended. I think it may have been the final nail in the coffin of it really, things were already strained because he couldn't handle me still being friends with Phil and when he found out about the baby, he withdrew even more. He said he wasn't ready to be a father, didn't want children, wasn't any good with them. I'd been there before, Abi's father wasn't around and I raised her by myself, I knew that if I had to, I could do it again. Jo and I weren't close like we are now so I didn't have her friendship to rely on. Phil offered to be there for me but I could tell he was just doing it out of duty – you know what he's like, he's just a big kid himself. And eventually, the fact that it was Stuart's child, not his, would have destroyed everything we had too. My body made the decision for me in the end anyway, I miscarried. I'm surprised you didn't hear about it on the grapevine – I was everyone's favourite gossip topic for quite a while, two guys jostling for my attentions and me leading both of them on."

"I don't pay attention to idle chatter, especially not about people I respect. As a result, most of my colleagues know not to let me catch them or risk me tearing a strip off them. The only thing that matters is that you know the truth about what happened during that period of your life; you know how you handled knowing both Stuart and Phil had feelings for you. We all have regrets for things we've done or not done but we live with them and we learn from them. I regret that I wasn't there for you as a friend then, so that you had someone who had your best interests at heart and yours alone. No one should have to go through that alone, I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you, but you did get through it. You survived it and came out the other side still a strong, beautiful, caring woman, with so much compassion and kindness." Lorna snuggled closer to the woman beside her once again, conveying all her empathy through her gentle touches. "Whilst I'm sorry you had that traumatic experience, I'm not altogether sorry now that you don't have Stuart's child as a constant reminder of him."

"Me either," Sam agreed instantly and vehemently, "for my sake and the child's."

"So you're worried about what he might do? What he might be up to?" Lorna returned their attention to the here and now.

"I don't know, I just can't help shake the feeling that he's not simply gone to ground like the snivelling cowardly weasel he is. We don't know that he was only supplying information to Heaton, we have no concrete proof of what the extent of his involvement is. We're thinking we might have to ask for a warrant to look at his financial records tomorrow, see if we can't find some more answers there both about what he's been up to and where he is." Sam lapsed into silence, her mind mulling over the conversation and Lorna's reaction to her admission surrounding the miscarriage. It was water under the bridge to her now and for the most part, she had made her peace with it, but still it warmed her to hear Lorna state she would have had her unwavering support had she known, even though they were little more than colleagues back then. "Thank you," she whispered reverently.

"What for?" Lorna queried equally as quietly.

"This…your support…everything…" Sam tried to explain, one hand tenderly cupping the taller woman's face, stroking along her cheekbone with her thumb.

"You'll always have that, for as long as you want it. You don't need ask for it or thank me, it's yours and the very least I can do." Lorna carded her fingers through the silky blonde tresses framing Sam's face. "Now what say we drink these hot chocolates and relax a while before bed in the hope you might actually get some decent sleep and wake up feeling more rested?"

"That sounds good to me. Would you stay tonight? I don't really feel like being alone," Sam admitted, eyes downcast as Lorna handed off a mug to her.

"I'd like nothing more than to stay tonight and keep you company," the Scot assured her with a loving smile. The two women sat in contented silence for a while, sipping their drinks and musing on inner thoughts of how comfortable and right it felt sharing one another's company. Even when the subject matter for discussion was dark, there was a closeness, an intimacy which drew them towards each other.

"There are two good things that happened today," Sam mentioned into the quiet, earning her a quizzical glance from her companion. "Well for one, I've been reminded of just how lucky I am to have you in my life, of how rich I am for you being here with me, caring about me." Sam smiled warmly as Lorna squeezed her hand and pressed a kiss to her temple in response to that statement, murmuring her agreement regarding her own luck too. "And secondly, I spoke to Jo earlier this evening. She's settling in at home and asked me to join her and Lucy for dinner tomorrow evening." Sam knew she would have to work at least part of the day tomorrow, prior to heading to Jo's house, but was grateful that it would give her a definite deadline by which she had to leave.

"Sam, that's excellent news. I know how much you've missed being able to chat with Jo. It'll be wonderful for you both and give you some very much needed and deserved downtime," Lorna enthused, feeling a tiny pang of regret that she would not see Sam the following evening but extinguishing it, knowing it was what Sam needed to do.

"We're eating early, Jo gets tired quickly so I won't be staying late. Care to join me here afterwards? Say around 9ish? Katie's more than welcome too if she's home tomorrow. I thought maybe we could watch a movie, share a bottle of wine." The hope in Sam's voice melted Lorna's heart, her chest swelling with adoration for the woman beside her.

"I'd like that very much and I'm sure Katie would too. Would you like me to pick up a movie on our way over?" Lorna brushed a strand of hair back from Sam's face, tucking it delicately behind an ear, fingers teasing the edge of her neck causing Sam's blue eyes to flutter shut.

"Mmmm, that'd be good," Sam mumbled distractedly, attention diverted by the sensations Lorna's fingers were creating. Lorna leant forward, deftly removing Sam's now empty cup from her hands and returning it to the coffee table as her lips caressed the blonde woman's own. They mutually deepened the kiss spontaneously, reading the other's intentions and responding instantly. Hands wandered to caress shoulders, cheeks, necks, arms and the outer limits of legs.

"Let me take you to bed," Lorna hummed against Sam's lips, her voice raspy and huskier than Sam had ever heard it before. A flood of molten desire surged through her core at the sound and the words. Rising on trembling legs, Sam simply held out a hand to her partner and once the other woman had taken it, led her towards the stairs.

* * *

Lucy gently stroked Jo's hair back from her flushed, fevered face, fearful that another infection was taking hold of her lover. "Sweetheart, wake up for me." The older woman suddenly started awake, sweat beading on her brow and rolling into her hair.

"You're here, thank God you're here," Jo panted, clinging to Lucy as though she was her only lifeline.

"I am baby, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." Relief set in when the young brunette realised that Jo's state was down to a nightmare alone and not another setback on her road to recovery.

"I dreamt I woke up and you'd gone, I couldn't find you anywhere and you wouldn't return my calls…" Jo broke off on a sob, burying her head further into her lover's chest, allowing the woman to soothe her imagined fears.

"I wouldn't do that to you sweetheart, not unless I had no choice. I know you're scared and I know you worry I'll tire of this, of us, but I will tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe me heart and soul that I want to wake up beside you every day for the rest of my life. I want to take holidays with you, experience everything you experience, I want you to show me the world through your eyes and show it to you through mine as well. I want to hold you when you need a hug, to dry your tears when you cry, to share your laughter and joy and to walk beside you through every part of life's journey. I love you so very much that I feel as though it's going to burst out of me sometimes unless I tell you or show you or shout it from the rooftops." Lucy kept her voice light, continued to stroke her hand in circular motion over her distraught lover's back, rocking her slightly in an effort to lull her back into a more restful slumber.

"I want that too," Jo mumbled sleepily, feeling slumber coming to reclaim her once again and powerless to resist.

"Then that's what you shall have darling, always and forever," Lucy assured her as she lay Jo back down and returned to her previous resting place against her shoulder, glad to feel her relaxing. She tucked the covers back in around them, making a snug cocoon for them to rest in.

"Always and forever," Jo whispered before surrendering to sleep completely. Lucy followed soon after, a smile gracing her lips in response to the quiet promise.

* * *

Lorna tentatively reached for the hem of Sam's pink jersey top, giving the other woman ample opportunity to back out, but the tiny blonde simply raised her arms signalling her acquiescence and permission. In return, Sam unbuttoned Lorna's plain turquoise cotton blouse, sliding it off her shoulders in reverent silence, marvelling at the soft, pale, freckled skin she uncovered. Dipping her head down, she kissed across from one exposed shoulder to the other, following the path of her collarbone with her lips, earning a quiet whimper of approval from above her. Lorna allowed her hands to trail up Sam's sides, worshipping her silky smooth skin with feather-light touches which left goosebumps in their wake. Her journey led her to the clasp on Sam's white cotton bra and with minimal fumbling, she had it undone allowing the material to tumble to the floor at their feet. The detective broke off from her oral exploration to return the favour for the taller woman, blindly tracing the edge of the lacy baby blue bra until she found the join, hugging the Scot in order to wrap both arms around her to aid the removal of the offending barrier. When finally she managed to unclasp it, the closeness of their bodies prevented it from falling away. Reluctantly, Lorna backed up a step, only separating for the microseconds it took to remove the article, fearing a longer parting would snap Sam out of wanting to explore this physicality with her. As their torsos touched for the first time with nothing to separate them, each woman sucked in a deep, appreciative breath, relishing the feel of skin on warm, pliant skin. For long moments, they were lost in the sensation, sharing their pleasure through a passionate kiss. Their height difference meant that Sam's modest breasts fitted neatly beneath Lorna's slightly more developed own, denying them the enjoyment of nipples coming together and stimulating one another through their friction. Sam's hands wandered from the naked planes of her lover's back to the smooth, rounded mounds of her buttocks, caressing and squeezing them through the thin fabric of her cream, cotton trousers. Lorna's hips canted against her own at the contact, hands sliding to the fastener on Sam's own black slacks and making quick work of undoing them. They fell away, pooling at the shorter woman's feet leaving her clad only in her skimpy cotton briefs. The inflamed redhead allowed her hands to explore the newly uncovered territory as much as their position would allow, backing her quarry towards the bed and lowering her onto it. She removed her own trousers, evening up their states of near nakedness before climbing into bed beside the woman who had ignited her passion.

"Lorna… I…" Further words were lost to Sam as Lorna pressed her body against her own frame. So much skin on skin teasing and tantalising her senses, bringing them to the brink of overload.

"Ssshh, it's ok Sam, we don't have to do anything more than this if you're not ready to," Lorna reassured her.

"I want to, God I want to so much, I just… I don't… what if…" Again words failed her, the combination of fatigue and arousal making her head spin. The intent of Lorna's caresses clearly shifted to ones designed to soothe the fire which had been ignited rather than further add fuel to its flames. She pulled Sam close and tucked her head into the crook of her neck, content with the progress they had made towards a physical expression of their feelings and knowing it would be counterproductive to try to push Sam into anything further that night.

"No ifs, no buts, when the time's right, we'll figure it out together, ok? For now, is it ok if I hold you like this tonight? You won't get cold or uncomfortable?"

"Right now, this feels more perfect than I can describe," Sam assured her, lifting her head briefly to offer her a tired but genuine smile. "You are amazing." With one last semi-chaste kiss, Sam settled her head back against Lorna's shoulder and allowed sleep to claim her.


	29. Chapter 29

_**Another plate of (virtual) cookies coming for the fantastic A for Antechinus, Sez01, iheartsergeantsmith and Scription Addict for taking time to review the last chapter, my muse thoroughly enjoyed your juice and responded with a creative spurt! Thank you lovely people, hope this one is up to standard for you.**_

_**Same disclaimers as always apply. Unfortunately, I still don't own the show or its characters :(**_

* * *

"Ah Sam, excellent, I was hoping you'd stop by this morning. Come in, I want you to meet Angie before I introduce her to the rest of the team. DC Angela Walker, this is DI Samantha Nixon. She'll be your immediate boss during your secondment here." Sam shook the proffered hand briefly, casting a critical gaze over the athletic woman as though sizing her up. She took in the startling orange hair (obviously not natural), the milky-coffee coloured skin betraying a mixed parentage somewhere in the family line, the wary brown eyes examining her with equal intent and distrust. DCI Meadows watched the two women sizing up their opponent like boxers about to go into a title deciding fight. "Angie is with us on secondment from Leeds for six months to cover Jo's absence. If Jo feels up to coming back to work before then, it will only be short days and paperwork so you're going to need some cover for her." Sam didn't like being ambushed, even though she understood the reasoning for a temporary replacement for Jo was necessary. It still would have been nice to have a head's up before being confronted with that replacement though, a thought which she would make sure she shared with Jack before she left for the day.

"What brings you to London, Angie? Besides the secondment I mean." Given recent discoveries about her colleagues, Sam was in no mood to blindly trust a stranger foisted on her team and she doubted the woman would get too easy a ride from the others either.

"A change of scenery and an opportunity to get some experience somewhere beyond the Dales. My husband has been awarded a temporary contract in Dubai for six months and I didn't fancy coming home to our place without him so I was looking for something to distract me while he's gone." Angie's accent was broad, her tone open, inviting trust and friendship but Sam was not to be taken in so easily, not again.

She responded with a nod before asking, "so when are you officially joining us?" Sam's sweeping gaze clearly indicated her reference to the other woman's casual attire.

"Day after next. DCI Meadows informs me that shift starts at seven a.m." Angie hadn't been under a rock during the previous few days, she had seen and heard on the news about the arrests of officers from this very station and had expected a somewhat cautious response to her presence. So far, DI Nixon was not disappointing on that front; her stare was an icy blue, her shoulders set and squared. Despite her diminutive stature, Angie got the distinct impression that the older woman could be a firecracker, one to try and stay on the right side of. She only hoped that the team she was joining would look beyond any initial distrust and allow her work ethic to speak for itself. Otherwise, this would be a very long six months indeed.

"Would you like me to show you round so you're a little familiar with where you'll be working before then?" Sam made the offer to be polite…and because she was determined to keep a close eye on the woman. She surmised that she might very well be genuine, just a victim of unfortunate timing, but part of Sam could not shake the feeling that her team was being infiltrated once again, either by a spy for the IPCC to gather intelligence on any other rogue officers or by a plant from the highly organised and well connected child porn ring they had had a hand in exposing. Either way, the timing of this new officer's arrival did not sit well with her at all. Jack's raised eyebrows gave away his surprise but his expression suggested it was a pleasant surprise to see his DI taking an active role in getting the new recruit settled in. He had obviously expected greater rancour – Sam would make sure not to disappoint him later but now was not the time to voice her suspicions or her distaste. That would wait until they had less of an audience.

"Sure, that'd be great, thank you." Angie gathered her belongings, throwing her denim blazer over her arm, and following her new boss out of the office, missing the look Sam tossed Jack's way to let him know he was by no means off the hook.

* * *

"Sam, what are you still doing here? You're not even supposed to be working today. Don't you have better things to do?" DI Manson commented as he walked back into the office they shared a little after 2pm.

"I've been going over the information we know about Stuart's movements; all his registered informants, the places he tends to favour for meeting them. I can't help but feel like we're missing something. What would make you get involved in something like this? He has no family, except for an elderly aunt in Somerset, so it can't be a threat against someone he cares about. I'm assuming that someone must have had some kind of hold over him that drove him to start acting as an informant and running interference in investigations for Heaton." Sam gazed over the paperwork spread across her desk once more searching for that missing piece of the puzzle, as though expecting it to leap out at her and do a dance.

"It could be anything; drugs, prostitution, he could have been using an off the books informant who threatened to make his superiors aware unless he started giving something back. Without Heaton or Stuart to ask, we might never know and making yourself cross-eyed staring at those reports isn't going to help. We've got a couple of uniformed officers showing his photograph around the area he was last seen and I have it on good authority that other agencies are actively looking for him too. I've no doubt that the ports and airports have been made aware and will be looking out for him in case he tries to leave the country but having seen his current bank balance, I don't think we need worry about that too much. He doesn't have too much in the way of disposable income so, sooner or later, either we or whoever else is investigating will find some trace of him." Neil sat at his own desk, reaching for another active case needing his attention. "Stuart stopped being a police officer the moment he chose to assist in those activities. That means he doesn't get our protection. Whoever finds him, us, MI5, whoever, will need to follow procedure and leave any personal baggage at the door."

"You think I want to find him to protect him?" Sam's voice turned hard, her steely gaze pinning Neil into his seat.

"You have history with Stuart which might cloud your judgement if it comes to making difficult decisions." Neil refused to waiver or back down. He and Sam had mostly always had a volatile relationship and each was currently uncertain of whom they could truly trust.

"For your information, DI Manson, my personal feelings towards Stuart Turner will in no way affect my professional actions in this matter. I have seen firsthand what the people he protected are capable of, I have had to endure him making false allegations and insinuations against me and my colleagues in order to undermine us. He has interfered with investigations and wasted precious time which could have spared a young boy and who knows how many others from additional trauma and abuse. So don't you dare sit there and imply that I would in any way shield him from the consequences of his actions. If you really think that I would then it just proves how little you know me." Sam gathered the paperwork together, pushing it back into the filing cabinet and closing it with a loud slam. She stalked from the office, needing to get some air and to get away from the stiflingly oppressive atmosphere which seemed to be a constant backdrop. She leant against the wall in the yard, tucking herself into a discrete corner from where she could observe much of the to-ings and fro-ings without being blatantly obvious or visible. She spent long moments there, simply watching and focusing on slowing her breathing down, releasing the tension in her coiled muscles and allowing her anger to subside.

"Times like this I bet you wish you smoked," a gravelly voice mentioned to her right. Spinning her head, her gaze settled on Inspector Gina Gold, unlit cigar dangling from between her fingers, lighter poised in her other hand.

"No bet, you'd win," Sam replied releasing a cleansing breath and trying to let go of the lingering agitation she carried.

"So who rattled your cage this time?" Gina's tone was teasing with just a hint of concern. She was known for her brash approach to man management but underneath, she really did care about the officers she worked with. She just didn't like anyone to realise it lest it undermine her authority and reputation.

"DI Manson. He actually had the audacity to suggest I would let my personal history with DS Turner interfere with bringing him to justice! Not just hint at it, but say it outright, to my face!" Sam's voice rose indicating her incredulity.

"And I've no doubt you set him straight about that. At least it's out in the open now and no one can say it further down the line without you knowing Neil will back you. It's a difficult time for us all, Sam. I think we're all second guessing ourselves and our judgements of our colleagues. After all, I'm sure none of us are naive enough to think that those arrested so far in that kiddie porn business are the only ones involved. Something like that has to take a whole lot of manpower to keep under wraps, to prevent anyone from asking awkward questions. I'm sure Neil was incorrect in his assumptions but perhaps he was testing the waters to make sure he wasn't wrong about what he really thinks of you. If he's to work with you, he has to know he can trust both you and his instincts about you, just as you do with him. Same goes for any of us." Gina's wisdom was sage, delivered in usual unflinching style, cutting through the BS to the heart of the matter.

"Why did we ever have to uncover this?" Sam's question was rhetorical, they both knew, but Gina answered anyway.

"Because it's what we do and better that we go through some tough times now but come out of it with a cleaner house than turn a blind eye and let that kind of abuse continue."

* * *

"Hey baby, time to wake up." Lucy gently shook her lover, placing a tender kiss to her lips as the older woman began to stir.

"What time is it?" Jo murmured sleepily, her voice thick and languid as she struggled to rouse herself.

"A little after four. Gives you plenty of time to get washed up and then you can come help me set the table before Sam gets here." The raven-haired woman watched as Jo drowsily hoisted herself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, hair tousled, eyes still at half-mast. The sight was utterly adorable and made Lucy's heart clench as she realised that she could do this every day for as long as Jo was willing to share a home with her. Just thinking about it made her heart race with joy and she couldn't resist leaning down to place a passionate kiss against the surprised older woman's lips.

"Mmmm, not that I'm complaining but what was that in aid of?" Jo asked, slightly more awake in the wake of the oral assault.

"Because I love you and I love that you want me to move in with you and because I'll get to see you like this every day," Lucy informed her gleefully.

"Well if this is all it takes to get you going, you're going to be one hell of a cheap date!" Jo quipped with a wink, revelling in the throaty laughter her lover unleashed.

"The cheek of it!" Lucy cried in mock indignation as they smiled brightly at one another.

Sobering a little, Jo asked, "would you feel awkward moving in here? Would you rather we get a new place together, somewhere that's equally ours right from the start?"

"Does it bother you, thinking of me invading somewhere that's up until now been yours and yours alone?" Lucy questioned in return, giving nothing away of her own thoughts on the matter.

"Not for a moment," Jo replied without hesitation.

"Then I think you should know that I already consider this our home. It just feels right, feels like it's where we should be. My place hasn't felt like I belong there since I first stayed over here. So if you're sure it's ok with you, I'd be more than happy moving in here." Lucy crouched down so that she could easily look Jo in the eyes as she spoke, allowing her to see how true it was through her expression.

"Wherever you are, that's where my home is. I'd be overjoyed and honoured if you'd live with me here," Jo informed her lover, equally as honestly and sincerely, stroking a hand down her cheek, her face a mask of total adoration.

"That's settled then. I'll make arrangements for my place, maybe rent it out rather than sell it then we don't have the hassle of trying to sell the furniture and everything. Plus it'll cover the mortgage payments then. I'll talk to a letting agent, see what I can arrange." Lucy leaned into the continuing caress of her cheek, placing her own palm softly over the back of her lover's hand. Steadying herself with her other hand on Jo's strong thigh, Lucy leaned in close and placed a tender, loving kiss against her full lips. "Now, get thee into the bathroom and make yourself look presentable for our guest."

* * *

"Come on in, Sam." Lucy greeted the older woman with a warm hug and a kiss to her cheek. "Jo's through in the lounge, why don't you go join her and I'll bring you a drink through in a minute?" The short blonde requested a coffee to ward off the chill she had carried in from the late autumn evening before entering the spacious yet cosy lounge. Jo was reclining on the sofa, looking infinitely more relaxed than the last time Sam had been there for dinner, the night she had met Lucy when Jo had been like a cat on a hot tin roof.

"Hi stranger," Sam murmured softly, sending a gentle, happy smile towards her best friend.

Jo hauled herself to her feet, ignoring Sam's protests, and wrapped the other woman up in a loose embrace. "Hi yourself, how have you been? You look worn out. Might not just be me struggling to stay awake this evening then hey?" Jo snarked with a teasing grin.

"I'm hoping the coffee your very kind girlfriend is making me might just keep me awake long enough to outlast you!" Sam rejoined, settling herself into the cushions of the sofa beside Jo. "How are you feeling? Glad to be home and in your own bed?"

"Very glad. Hospital beds are not the most comfortable in the world and I keep smelling that hospital smell, no matter how many times I shower. But I'm sure it'll fade in time, until I have to go back in again. I'm ok though, tired and still have days when I lose more of my meals than I keep down but it's manageable. And I do have incredible friends around me supporting me through it, not to mention the most amazing and gorgeous partner I could ever hope for. I realise that I'm fortunate in so many ways." Jo's eyes softened noticeably as Lucy walked into the lounge carrying two steaming mugs of coffee, depositing them on the coffee table in front of the two women. The older brunette reached out a hand, capturing on of Lucy's own and squeezing it affectionately. Turning back to Sam, she beamed, "Lucy's agreed to live with me."

Sam took a moment to observe them both, watching the easy way with which they moved within one another's space. "That's wonderful, for both of you."

"Thanks Sam, your support means the world to us both." Lucy threw an intense look the blonde's way, conveying that she meant so much more than just her congratulations. Glancing back at her lover, she continued, "I'm going to go attend to dinner for a while, give you ladies chance to catch up properly. It'll be ready in about 20 minutes or so."

"Thanks babe," Jo called softly as Lucy left them once again. Making herself comfortable, Jo fixed Sam with an inquisitive look before asking, "so what's new with you? How's things at work? I've read some of the stuff in the papers but my brain must be a bit screwy, it didn't make much sense. Has Heaton really been arrested?"

"These last 3 weeks have seemed like the longest of my life," Sam admitted before filling Jo in on the details she felt she could share with her friend, including how it linked to Dawid's disappearance.

"Geez Sam, no wonder you're tired. Have you been dealing with it by yourself all through?" Jo reached over and took one of Sam's hands in her own, conveying her own support for the brave blonde.

"Not altogether no. Lorna… Lorna Hart, the CSE… she's the one who made the initial discovery about Heaton's involvement and the one who made the link between the fire and Dawid's case. We've been spending quite a bit of time together, discussing it all outside of work." Sam fidgeted nervously, knowing she had hinted at being interested in a woman before Jo went in to hospital but unsure if she was ready to share how interested she was, even with her best friend.

"Lorna's a lovely lady and a good friend to have," Jo replied recalling the woman's offer of a shoulder and an ear when it had become known that Jo was ill.

"She is…" Sam began, trailing off and looking down at her hands resting in her lap.

"Is she the one you told me about before I went into hospital? The woman you think you have feelings for?" Jo shuffled closer, sensing her friend's discomfort. As Sam nodded, still refusing to meet the auburn-haired detective's gaze, Jo pressed, "want to talk about it?"

"We… she… I… I know what I feel for her is more than simple friendship but I don't know if it's enough to go further than we have." Sam struggled to put into words what it was that was holding her back from committing to any kind of relationship with Lorna.

"How far have you taken it? Have you kissed her?" Again Sam nodded without offering further elaboration. "Do you like how she makes you feel when you kiss her?"

"Yes," the blonde woman admitted quietly, skin growing warm as she recalled just how much she did enjoy kissing Lorna.

"And when she kisses you, do you want to take it further? Do you want to make love to her?"

With a soft groan of approval, Sam acknowledged, "very much so, but the thought of that scares me. I mean, I've never touched another woman that way, how am I supposed to know what to do? How do I make her feel good when I'm completely clueless?"

"We'll come to that in a minute but Sam, I need you to think about something for me. When you spend time with Lorna, is getting her into bed the only thing you want to do with her?" Jo studied the woman beside her closely, watching with keen eyes for Sam's instinctive reaction.

"No! God no. Spending time with her, just being together; making breakfast, sharing dinner, watching a movie, going out for coffee, it all feels so… so right." Jo took a moment to consider the words, one eyebrow raised quizzically.

"Breakfast?"

"We've spent the night at one another's houses, on more than one occasion, and we have shared a bed but I've never been able to let myself go completely and touch her or let her touch me beyond a few casual caresses." Sam sighed and ran a hand through her hair, resting her elbow on top of the cushion behind her and leaning her head against a balled up fist as she turned to face her friend more fully. "What if I can't do it? What if I can never bring myself to be with a woman that way?"

"What is it that's holding you back? Do you find the idea of touching her unappealing? Be honest, I promise not to take it the wrong way or get offended. Does the thought of two women together sexually disturb you?"

"No, it's not that. Jo, you know I've never had a problem with your sexuality and there was a brief time, when you came back from Nottingham, where I thought you and I might develop something. I guess it's just so far out of my comfort zone, so different from what I'm used to in the bedroom that I… I guess you could call it performance anxiety. How do I know what to do? Where she likes to be touched? _How_ she likes to be touched?" Sam's expression bordered on the desperate but Jo couldn't help but want to ease some of the tension.

"That's what you have a mouth for," she stated, pausing for effect before adding, "you ask her, you talk to her, encourage her to let you know what she's feeling, what she likes, what feels good for her." The last was said through a laugh which the brunette could no longer contain. Sam's face had morphed from desperate to incredulous in the blink of an eye at Jo's original statement. Taking pity on the almost frantic DI, Jo told her, "let yourself stay in the moment, switch off your higher brain functions, stop over-thinking it and just do whatever feels natural. You'll soon learn to understand her body's language and let that guide you. Trust her and trust yourself to know what it is you both want and need, I promise you it is nothing to be anxious about at all. You know what feels good yourself, you know what works for your body, chances are good that the same things will feel good to her too. She has got the same equipment after all. Are you worried that she won't be able to do it for you? That without having a man thrusting away inside you, you won't orgasm?" There were times when Sam appreciated Jo's unflinchingly direct nature. This however, she was not convinced was one of those times.

"I've never… not with anyone else there," she admitted ashamedly. Jo was flabbergasted by what she thought Sam was trying to tell her.

"Sam, does that mean you've never been with anyone who's made you cum? No one? At all? Ever?" Sam simply shook her head, reaching for her coffee and hiding her blush behind the mug. Her level of anxiety was starting to make much more sense to Jo all of a sudden. "You've given yourself orgasms though, haven't you?"

Sam shrugged and mumbled, "I guess," feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation but knowing she needed to have it if she were to stand any chance of satisfying Lorna.

Unable to stand her friend's discomfort any longer, Jo swept her into a strong embrace, cradling Sam against her side and rubbing soothing patterns across her back. "I'm so sorry you've never had a lover considerate enough to make sure your needs were attended to before, that is so wrong. Any time you have doubts or questions, you can ask me anything. I promise not to judge you or ridicule you or think that you're being silly, ok? I'll gladly use my experience to help you in any way I can. But trust me when I say that the best thing you can do is to talk to Lorna. She might very well be worrying about some of the same things you are. Talk to one another, be honest with her and just take your time exploring one another's bodies. I highly doubt you'll end up being sorry you took that leap into a physically intimate relationship with a woman for whom you obviously care deeply." The two of them sat within the circle of each other's arms silently sipping their drinks for a few long moments, each mulling over the enormity of their conversation.

"Thank you." Two simple words were all Sam could offer. Two tiny words that sounded so glib when uttered carelessly but, in that moment, to Jo's ears conveyed every ounce of gratitude Sam offered.


	30. Chapter 30

**_Welcome readers, old and new to the next installment of this tale. Huuuuuuuge thanks and extra cyber-cookies to A for Antechinus, Sez01, iheartsergeantsmith and Scription Addict for your reviews on the last chapter. You lovely people really do rock :)_**

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"Are you sure you won't stay for one more drink?" Jo's tone was almost whining as Sam made her excuses to leave.

"I'm sure, you're exhausted and despite your promise to me yesterday it's clear you won't rest until I do leave so I'm going to head off and let you sleep." Sam gazed down at her friend, still seated on the sofa, eyes drooping tiredly. "Besides, I promised Lorna she could come over with her daughter this evening after I got back. I don't want it to be too late for Katie to settle, she's got school in the morning." The blonde was bashful as she admitted in roundabout terms that Lorna would be once again spending the night with her.

"That's great Sam," Lucy exclaimed, giving her lover's best friend a warm hug. "You two seem really good together." Jo quirked an eyebrow at the raven-haired young woman's statement, filing it away to be addressed later when her brain was less like soup.

"Don't let us keep you from your hot date then. Just be sure to give us some juicy details next time you come visit. I gotta get my entertainment somehow while I'm convalescing and I really don't think day time television is going to cut it." Jo quipped, disappointed to be seeing Sam go so soon but quashing that in favour of what was best for her friend. She beckoned the blonde in for a hug, whispering to her, "remember what I said; talk to her and I'm always here for you, any way I can help." The slightest shiver of anticipation raced through Sam's slender body at Jo's words.

Standing tall, the DI promised, "I will," leaving Lucy gobsmacked as she assumed Sam had meant she would share intimate details of her evening with them. The swarthy-skinned young woman escorted Sam to the door, thanking her for coming and assuring her that she was welcome any time she could visit. She returned to the lounge, finding Jo in exactly the same position as they had left her, only even more drowsy.

"Up you get, missy. Someone isn't fulfilling her end of the bargain already. You're not supposed to push yourself."

"Well, in my defence, I do always have this gorgeous young woman trying to get me into bed. I think it's just so she can ravish me!" Jo quipped in return, her sense of humour still firing on all cylinders despite her crushing fatigue.

"Hmm, I think I should have words with her and tell her she needs to let you sleep more," Lucy rejoined as she steered her lover towards the stairs, encouraging her up them and into the bedroom.

"No, don't do that, she might lose interest in me if I'm too damn tired to make love to her." This time, Jo was more serious, albeit in whiny fashion.

"I have it on good authority that that won't happen. In fact, I know that she would rather you slept when you needed to so that you had more energy to return the favour when you're awake." Lucy busied herself with turning down the covers while Jo wandered into the bathroom to change into her pyjamas. When Jo returned, the bedroom was empty, no sign of her lover anywhere. With a sigh, the brunette climbed into the waiting bed, pulling the duvet over her and releasing a blissful breath at the comfort it brought. She hadn't meant to overdo it but until that moment, she also hadn't realised just how tired she had let herself get. Her eyes fluttered closed and she was well on her way to the land of dreams before Lucy returned with a glass of water. The younger woman placed a tender kiss against her lover's brow, whispering, "sweet dreams babe," and stroking her face softly before leaving her to her slumbers.

* * *

"Aw come on, that was no way fair!" Katie exclaimed looking between the television and the two older women. "It's cheating if you help her Sam, I don't stand a chance against the pair of you." Despite her protestations, there was a broad grin on the young girl's face and a gleam in her eye which betrayed her mirth.

"Good to know you've already figured that one out," Lorna retorted with a wink at Sam, loving how naturally they all interacted, as though they had been doing so for years.

"Yeah yeah, I get it, no playing you off against each other. As if I ever thought I'd stand a chance of doing that. I mean, hello, police officer and forensic tech versus a school kid? They'd never find my body!" Both women burst into gales of laughter in the face of the teenager's dramatic declaration. "Now enough cheating, give me your best shot Mum and no helping this time Sam." The DI rose from her seat beside Lorna, holding her hands parallel with the sides of her head in mock surrender.

"Fine, I'll go get us some more drinks. Same again Katie?" The younger redhead nodded with a smile, her attention already refocused on the screen in front of her where she was about to challenge her mother to another energetic game of table tennis.

"OK but this is the last game or you'll never sleep young lady. I'm sure neither Sam nor myself or any of your teachers tomorrow want to put up with you grumping all day because you're tired." Lorna squinted at the screen, still trying to work out which half she was supposed to be watching.

"Yes Mum," Katie replied with a bored tone as she served, tossing the control about much as she would an actual table tennis paddle. By the time Sam returned with the tray of fresh drinks, Lorna was already four points down without having scored herself. She stood back and watched the playful banter being tossed back and forth between mother and daughter, laughing heartily as Lorna resorted to bumping Katie's arm in an effort to put her off. The young girl screeched and cried foul, turning to Sam expectantly as though she would referee.

"I distinctly remember being told I was not to interfere," she deferred, settling herself into an arm chair to better view the exchange with a smug grin. Lorna was transfixed as a dainty pink tongue traced the edge of pale, thin lips capturing a few stray drops of Sam's drink. Her attention was so firmly diverted that she never even realised Katie had resumed playing, the virtual ping pong ball sailing past her avatar without it making any attempt to make contact.

"Mum," the teenager whined, "you could at least try to return my serve."

"What? Oh errr… sorry honey, I got distracted. Is it your game again?" Lorna forced her eyes back towards the large widescreen television, pulse jumping erratically and her adrenaline spiking. Suddenly, she had an overwhelming urge to send Katie off to bed or at least to the room she would be staying in overnight so that herself and Sam could have some privacy.

"Well yeah since you've never even scored a point!" Katie goaded cockily.

"Gloating is never attractive Katie," Lorna chided softly, knowing that it was simply her daughter's exuberance getting the better of her but needing to issue the rebuke all the same.

"Sorry," Katie toned it down a notch before adding with her tongue firmly in her cheek, "but you really are quite lame at the hand eye co-ordination Mum. It's all about wrist action." Sam couldn't contain her snort of laughter at the final remark, her mind immediately making something suggestive from it.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Sam fought to compose herself, clearing her throat and refusing to meet Lorna's amused gaze. Before long, Katie had put the game to bed, with Lorna only having managed to sneak a couple of points off her and that was only after continued jostling. The victorious young girl happily packed the controllers away and powered down the machine before finishing off the last dregs of her orange juice.

"Finish off any last bits of homework you brought with you, then bed ok? I want your light out by eleven." Lorna ordered, kissing her daughter's head as she passed en route to the kitchen to rinse her glass out.

"Ok. Thanks for inviting us over this evening Sam, I really enjoyed it." Katie leaned down and gave the blonde a brief hug, kissing her cheek as she retreated. Lorna watched the teenager go with a proud smile. Seeing the two women she adored most getting on so well made her heart swell with joy. For so long she had feared that she could never have this again, not since her husband, James, had died.

"Someone has a fan," the redhead murmured as she approached the other woman.

"Just the one?" Sam asked, head cocked to one side, teasing grin settling on her lips as she rose to meet her lover.

"No, definitely more than one." Their bodies moulded together, arms wrapping around each other's waists as they regarded one another fondly.

"You have a wonderful daughter, she's a real credit to you." Sam leant in closer, brushing her lips against the strong column of the other woman's neck as she spoke, resting her head onto her shoulder and revelling in the embrace.

"I like to give her a lot of credit for herself. There've been many times when she could have chosen to rebel, to test me, but she's always handled herself with a maturity beyond her years." Lorna admitted, resting her cheek against the crown of Sam's head and tightening her hold. "It's still early enough if you fancy watching the movie I brought?"

"Sounds good to me, so long as I can still cuddle with you. What did you bring?" Sam watched Lorna's skin flush a little at the question.

"Well, I brought a couple, in case you didn't fancy one of them or in case we had company when we were watching the film," Lorna admitted shyly. She felt she knew where she and Sam were heading but hoped she had not overstepped the mark with her choice of movie. "So you can choose between 'August Rush' and 'Imagine Me and You'."

Sam had heard Jo talking about the second film and knew the basic premise of the tale. Perhaps such a movie would give her and Lorna an opportunity to discuss the physical aspect to their attraction or at least let Sam relax enough to see where things went. "I've heard good things about 'Imagine Me and You', let's stick that one on shall we?" Sam took the disc from her companion, slipping it into the machine and retrieving the remote before settling down on the sofa in Lorna's arms.

"You comfy?" Sam nodded, snuggling a little closer and resting her head back in the crook of Lorna's neck as she hit 'play'.

* * *

"This just in: I've just this moment been handed a report which claims the former Shadow Education Secretary Phillip Hulme, ex-EastEnders actor Johnny Delphino and Metropolitan Police Superintendant John Heaton have all been discovered hanged in their cells at the prisons in which they were being held. Each of the men had been detained on child pornography charges and are believed to have been in solitary confinement since their arrests. It is unclear as yet whether they took their own lives or whether another member of the large paedophile ring they were a part of is cleaning house. Police are promising a full investigation into the deaths while the remaining men arrested in the raids are being moved to more secure accommodations where they will be monitored 24 hours per day." Lucy paused in her channel hopping as she heard the news, recognising John Heaton's name as the same man who had been the bane of Jo's work life recently. There followed a reprise of the information which had been released previously, in the wake of the arrests, none of which particularly interested Lucy but she stayed glued to the channel in case there was any further developments.

* * *

Sam found her attention wandering from the on-screen antics of the two female leads in the movie. Lorna's tender ministrations, where her fingers lightly massaged the back of Sam's neck and bottom of her head, were driving her to distraction. She willed herself to speak, to ask the questions burning in her mind, to see if Lorna too felt the same hesitation about their physical compatibility. All that escaped however was a quiet sigh of contentment.

"You ok?" Lorna's voice was hushed, her actions lulling her into a comfortably drowsy state. Eyes fixed on the screen before her, she watched the blonde character stride back into the store room she had just stormed out of, latching her mouth onto the darker haired woman in a feverish kiss.

"Better than ok. This feels so good, so…" Sam didn't want to use the word 'nice', finding it too bland, too mundane to describe how she felt, "so incredible." The two characters onscreen were lying across sacks of flowers at the back of the florists shop where the dark haired one worked, passionately making out, obviously intent on it going further until they were interrupted by the blonde woman's husband. "I'm glad neither of us has to worry about that," Sam admitted, tilting her head up to kiss the redhead's neck, the passion on the screen igniting her own desire somewhat.

"Me too but Sam, if you keep that up, it won't matter if the building burns down, I won't be able to keep my hands off you." Lorna emitted a low moan as talented lips continued to tease her, trailing kisses upwards towards her ear.

"No one says you have to," the heated blonde whispered directly into the dainty ear before her. "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

"Bedroom!" Lorna's voice came out in a high pitched squeak, much less dignified and smooth than she was hoping for. Clearing her throat, she tried again, "we need to move this to the bedroom." The women scrambled off the couch, turning off machinery and lights as they went with great haste. Lorna's libido had never quite simmered down following the unwittingly sensual lip moment earlier in the evening, bubbling quietly beneath the surface ready to be re-ignited. Sam, spurred on by her chat with Jo earlier and riding high on a wave of endorphins, opted to throw caution to the wind and see what happened. They undressed hurriedly, stripping down to their briefs and bras before crawling under the covers beside one another.

"I want to make love to you Lorna, but I'm going to need your help, your guidance. I've never…" Sam's courage faltered a little but her resolve remained. The only way she was going to know if they worked together physically was to get over herself and try.

"Sshh, it's ok sweetheart, I've never done this either but we're both women, we both know what a woman's body wants, what it needs to bring it to release. Touch me like you want to be touched yourself and I'm sure between us, we can have a lot of fun finding out what works."

"I know we said we'd wait until we'd been out on a few proper dates but I really, _really_ want you, want _this_. I don't think I can wait any longer," Sam murmured seductively as she allowed her hands to caress the baby soft skin of Lorna's stomach, the backs of her fingers grazing against the rippling flesh.

"We may not have been out to a restaurant or a cinema but I think we can consider the last few evenings we've spent together as dates of sorts." Lorna spoke through gritted teeth as she attempted to rein in her desire, not wishing to push the other woman too far, too quickly, but hanging on to her control by a thread. She captured the wandering limb between her own hands, bringing it up to her mouth and deftly kissing each fingertip. Lowering their joined extremities, Lorna pressed Sam's palm to the redhead's own breast, hissing with pleasure as she felt it react immediately. Not wanting the blonde to be neglected, Lorna cupped her own hand around Sam's modest breast, feeling the nipple harden at the contact despite the lacy barrier. "Can I take this off? I want to feel you, all of you, against every part of me." Sam nodded, divesting herself of her remaining flimsy garments until she was completely naked before her lover. Lorna shed her own underwear, tossing it aside without paying any attention to where it landed, and sliding closer to the petite blonde, who lay trembling beside her. "It's ok honey, there's nothing to be afraid of. I won't hurt you and if I do anything at all you don't like or that is uncomfortable for you, let me know and I'll stop, straight away, I promise." Lorna too was a bundle of nerves, not quite able to believe that she was really about to make love to the incredible detective. Lorna leant in for a kiss, giving Sam ample opportunity to back out if she was truly overwhelmed by their proximity. The tiny woman surprised Lorna by surging forward, meeting her lips in a hungry, fiery kiss. Long, slender fingers danced across pale alabaster skin, seeking out the dusky pink nipple which had distended and was calling for attention. Sam couldn't help but favourably compare the gentle reverence Lorna meted out to her breast with the usual rough massage she had experienced from previous male lovers, who had seemed to assume aggressive pawing, kneading and squeezing was pleasurable. Lorna rolled the bud between forefinger and thumb, occasionally grazing the tip with a fingernail or squeezing a little more tightly. The blonde was surprised to find urgent messages being telegraphed from that tiny point of contact straight to her core, unleashing copious amounts of moisture and causing her to rock her hips as she sought any kind of friction. She whimpered quietly, drawing her lover's attention. "Are you ok? Am I hurting you?" The note of concern betrayed the Scot's own anxiety about their first coupling.

"Don't… stop… please, don't stop," Sam begged, covering her breast with her own palm, trapping Lorna's fingers around the sensitive nipple as they lay side by side, face to face, both flushed with desire. Buoyed by Sam's obvious approval, Lorna leant closer, worshipping her lover's mouth with her lips and tongue, continuing to play with Sam's breast as she rolled them over so that Sam was lying on her back beneath her. The move granted Lorna an opportunity to access the previously neglected breast she had not been able to reach before and she capitalised on that by trailing kisses down the exposed torso and wrapping succulent lips around the straining bud. The blonde gasped at the new sensation, hands tangling in wild ginger hair, holding Lorna's mouth to her and arching her back to offer more of herself to the woman. Distracted by the feel of skilled teeth and tongue against her flesh, Sam was unprepared for the probing digits parting her lower lips. In an unconscious reaction, she slammed her legs together, tensing as it trapped Lorna's hand between her thighs, fingertips just resting in her juices.

"Relax sweetheart, I won't do anything you aren't comfortable with me doing. If you tell me now that you don't want me touching you this way, I won't." Lorna cooed reassuringly, gazing lovingly into confused blue eyes.

"I've never… no one's ever… they always just put it in, they didn't…" Sam confessed, blushing and trying to bury her head in Lorna's shoulder.

"They didn't make sure you were ready for them first? Sam, has no one touched you this way before?" The blonde woman simply shook her head in response, eyes averted as she chewed on her lower lip. "Baby, look at me," Lorna implored, ducking her head and kissing the strong, proud jaw of her lover. When Sam failed to respond, the blonde allowed her trapped fingers to twitch ever so slightly, tickling the sensitive flesh against which they rested, earning a quiet moan. "I want to make this special for you sweetheart, to show you what you've missed, what a good lover should do for their partner. I may not have been with a woman before either but I know good sex and when only one party gets off, that doesn't even come close to being good sex. Let me love you, let me learn the places that make you feel every bit as incredible as you feel to me. Please honey, give me a chance to finish what we've started and if you still don't like it in a little bit, I will stop, I promise." Lorna could feel the other woman's heart thundering in her chest as her legs relaxed and gave the CSE room to manoeuvre. Slowly, tentatively, she began to slide her fingers up and down the length of Sam's drenched core, dipping into the copious moisture there and spreading it around the area liberally Feeling her way, Lorna mapped the area through her fingertips, returning time and again to the hooded nodule at the apex of her opening, caressing it gently through the fleshy cover. Sam's hips arched off the bed with each sweep across her clitoris, the sensations threatening to overwhelm her. When Lorna's lips latched back onto her breast, kissing, licking, sucking and nipping at the tender flesh, Sam thought she couldn't get any wetter. There was a knot of tension coiling inside her, seeming to spread outwards from her centre and threatening to engulf her. Lorna dragged her middle finger down to the quivering opening of Sam's sex, pushing inside her as far as the first knuckle and pausing to allow her to adjust to the intrusion. The penetration registered on some level with the blonde and her muscles tensed once again, just briefly, before she released them on finding no pain or discomfort, unlike during most of her previous sexual encounters. Lorna pressed on, retracting the finger before pushing it back in, further than before, burying it as far as she could inside her lover, never ceasing her oral attentions. As she withdrew, her fingertip grazed a raised, spongy area, resulting in Sam rearing off the bed in surprise at the strength of her body's response to that contact.

"Oh God, Lorna…" Sam panted, unable to believe she was feeling so much when previously all she had experienced was a slight warmth and tingling. Lorna pushed back in, this time deliberately curling her finger as it retreated and grazing over the sensitive internal flesh once more, eliciting another strong response and a new flood of liquid from the excited blonde. Satisfied that Sam's proclamation had been a positive one, Lorna established a rhythm with that one finger, driving Sam on towards her climax. She felt internal walls beginning to flutter against her encased digit and, wanting to allow the shorter woman her release, rubbed her thumb across Sam's engorged clit. The blonde cried out and bucked off the bed as her orgasm ripped through her. Lorna pressed a kiss to her mouth, swallowing any further sounds to prevent Katie from overhearing things she shouldn't. The redhead stilled her hand, the tight muscles stopping her from withdrawing until they began to relax, cradling the other woman to her with her free arm wrapped around her back. Sam hugged Lorna close, after effects rippling through her following the most intense experience of her life. "Shit… Lorna… that was…" There was a long pause and Lorna held her breath, hoping that the next words were not going to be unpleasant. "That was incredible. _You_ are incredible."

"My wrist action's not so bad now is it?" Lorna joked, gratified to hear Sam's guffaw of laughter.

"Definitely not but I don't think I'll share that nugget with your daughter!" Sam's eyes twinkled mischievously as she finally managed to meet Lorna's gaze. "Now, I do believe there's some unfinished business I need to attend to."

* * *

**_I'd like to add an additional disclaimer: Any likeness of nefarious characters to real persons living or deceased is purely coincidental!_**

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	31. Chapter 31

_**Once again, many thanks and extra cyber-cookies to A for Antechinus, Sez01, iheartsergeantsmith and Scription Addict for your reviews & constructive comments on the last chapter. You lovely people really do rock :) And thanks to Sez01 for spotting & pointing out the mistake with Heaton's rank, I've since gone back and corrected that :)**_

**__****This chapter carries the same disclaimers as all the previous chapters. I still own diddly-squat!**

* * *

Lorna lay back, trying her hardest to stifle her moans of pleasure as Sam's deft fingers traced over every contour of her body, mapping it's regions and thoroughly exploring places of interest. The light brushing of her lover's hair against her torso only added to the maddening sensations coursing through her, all congregating at one point at the juncture of her thighs. She murmured reassurances to the cautious blonde, letting her know when she stumbled across a sensitive area and then delighting in the attention lavished upon it. Her entire being was humming such was the level of her arousal but she was reluctant to push Sam for anything more, fearful that the other woman was needing the time to work up her nerve enough to touch Lorna in the most intimate of ways. Besides which, after so long of finding release solely by her own hand, she was enjoying the intensity of having someone else coax out her pleasure. James had been a patient lover, a passionate partner in the bedroom, but even he had never taken the time to map her entire body with his fingertips like Sam was in the process of doing. A soft warmth enveloped her left breast, laving the nipple with firm strokes of a powerful tongue, heightening her excitement to unsurpassed levels.

"Oh Jesus, Sam…" Lorna moaned sensually, arching her back into the contact and presenting even more of her flesh to the patient lover. Sam accepted the invitation without hesitation, sucking, nipping and nibbling at the sensitive area before soothing it gently with her tongue. The sounds emanating from the redhead were not only encouraging her in her endeavours but inflaming her desires to a heightened state once again. Her fears about not being satisfied or being able to satisfy were receding further with each passing second as she let instinct guide her. One hand trailed lower over the smooth expanse of flesh between breasts and belly, fingers tangling momentarily in the sparse patch of auburn curls at the juncture of Lorna's thighs before pushing onwards into a sopping inferno. Her own breath caught at the amount of moisture which had already gathered there.

"Wow," she murmured, breathlessly.

"That's what you do to me, it's all you sweetheart," Lorna husked, watching, with rapt attention, the expression of wonder on the smaller woman's face.

Sam lowered her face, capturing Lorna's lips in a searing kiss as she began to drag her fingers back and forth through the silky liquid coating the redhead's core. She deftly found the hooded bundle of nerves after just a few swipes, moving with the undulations of her lover's body like a prize rodeo rider, never once breaking their kiss. The Scot tore her mouth away to allow a quiet whimper to escape as two of Sam's fingers slipped inside her, the action not having been a conscious one on Sam's behalf but was repeated once she discovered how welcome a manoeuvre it was. Curling her fingers in a come-hither motion, Sam explored the other woman's inner walls, searching for the elusive area which had made Sam herself come undone. It took a few attempts but once the blonde had located it, there was no stopping her. She plunged two fingers into her lover over and over again, following Lorna's instructions, whenever they were issued, to push harder, deeper, faster. She felt the strong internal muscles fluttering, contracting with greater and greater force as she drove Lorna on towards ecstasy. Her palm grazed over the writhing redhead's clitoris, presenting her with the final push over the edge into an intense orgasm. Sam's fingers were clenched in a vice-like hold inside Lorna's pulsating core, moisture surrounding her digits as a low keening emanated from deep with the Scot's core, signalling her pleasure. The sound reverberated through Sam's own soul, releasing a fresh flood of fluid between her own thighs, coating the inert leg she was straddling. The sensation of Sam's arousal served to elongate Lorna's release, the knowledge that the blonde woman was as turned on by giving as receiving filling her with joy and hope that this would not be a one-time event. Sam collapsed onto the bed beside her lover, gently retrieving her fingers, careful not to disturb the overly sensitive flesh too much. The two of them lay next to one another, smiling softly and exchanging tender caresses as they each recovered from their exercise.

"Mmm, Sam that was amazing. _You're_ amazing," Lorna purred, moulding her body to Sam's until they rested face to face, their entire lengths touching, legs entwined and arms draped across one another's hips.

"Are you sure? I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?" Sam asked, nuzzling the proud chin before her.

"You're kidding right? That was the most incredible I have felt in a long, long time. Not that there have been many to try but no one, since James, has come anywhere close to making me feel what you just gave me," Lorna assured, dropping a tender kiss onto slightly parted lips. "How do you feel about it? Are you ok?"

"That's the first time I've… you know… with someone else in the same room," the blonde admitted, hiding her head between the pillow and Lorna's shoulder. "And somehow what I can do to myself doesn't even come close to what you did for me." The words were muffled but Lorna just about made out what was being confessed.

"Oh sweetheart, that is so special. I'm sorry your previous lovers were such selfish pigs but I'm glad that I can finally show you what being intimate with someone should be like. And any time you feel like a repeat performance, I'll be happy to oblige." The words were muttered huskily into the delicate shell of Sam's ear, resulting in an aroused tremor coursing through the slim blonde's body.

"Any time?" Sam queried, a devilish glint in her eye as she raised her head from its hiding place.

"Absolutely," Lorna assured, dipping closer and capturing Sam's succulent mouth in a searing kiss. Lorna had the brief presence of mind to pull the duvet over their heads before joining her lover in a renewed sea of passion, hoping the downy quilt would muffle some of the sounds of their continued love making and prevent her daughter from being too psychologically scarred.

* * *

"Sam, it's Jo. I don't know whether you've seen the news already this morning but give me a call when you get this message either way, please?" The brunette replaced the receiver onto the cradle, picking up the newspaper from the cushion beside her and skimming over the scant details in the report. The deaths of those in custody had made the front page as well as warranting several column inches on page five of the national tabloid. She sincerely hoped that those in charge of the investigation did a better job of protecting those who had enabled the arrests than they did of protecting the arrestees. There was no question in Jo's mind that the deaths had been part of a larger plan to protect the secretive collection of individuals responsible, whether members agreed up front to take their own lives if captured or whether someone had assisted their suicides despite them being in lockdown. As a result, she couldn't help but to be concerned about the welfare of her friends, since both Sam and Lorna had had more than a slight hand in making the arrests happen.

"You got everything you need before I go babe?" Lucy asked as she walked into the lounge, shrugging her jacket on in the process.

"There's just one thing I'm missing," Jo informed her with an innocent expression.

"What's that hon? What do you need?" Lucy wandered closer to the seated brunette, casting her gaze over the blaring headlines on the front page, which told of the suicides she had heard about on the newsflash late the previous night.

"A kiss," Jo declared, puckering up her lips in a highly exaggerated fashion. Lucy leant down as if to grant her lover's wish before scuppering her at the last moment with a detour to her cheek. The raven-haired young woman laughed heartily as arms encircled her waist, holding her captive until she submitted to a proper kiss.

"You're so demanding," Lucy joked, eyes twinkling with joy, "but you're lucky 'cause I wouldn't have you any other way. I'll be back by six at the latest but hopefully I'll get away before then. Call me if you need anything or if you think of anything you want me to pick up on my way home, ok?"

Jo's heart soared as she registered that Lucy had referred to the house as home so naturally. It buoyed her belief that her lover really was as content moving in with her as she herself was, that the fact it had previously been Jo's house. She couldn't prevent a soppy grin from spreading across her face as she told Lucy, "I like the sound of that."

"What? Me at your beck and call?" Lucy retorted with mock indignation.

"Nope, you called this home," Jo replied, her smile growing even wider as Lucy grinned down at her.

"Mm-hmm that would be because this is where I feel at home, so lady, you be good and conserve your energy because I want a worthy homecoming reception this evening, ok?" Lucy's sultry gaze made Jo aware of just what kind of welcome home the young women desired and her own pulse jumped in anticipation. Straightening up again, knowing she needed to cool it or run the risk of never making it in to work at all, Lucy requested, "give me a call later, when you've heard from Sam and let me know she's ok will you? I can tell you're worried about her." Lucy stalled for a few more moments, wishing she could stay with her lover but knowing that she had to go into work, not wanting to test her boss's patience.

"I will and I'll be fine. I promise I won't do anything too strenuous, even if I get terminally bored by the offerings of day time television!" Jo could read her girlfriend like a book; the slight frown marring her forehead, the dimming of the light in her eyes and the almost imperceptible hunching of her shoulders all were clear indicators of her displeasure at being parted once again from the woman she cared for. The brunette would miss the younger woman fiercely but she knew that she must hold back her own neediness in favour of doing what was best for Lucy. "Go on, or you'll be late sweetheart and I don't want you being kept behind to do lines, I need you here for the homecoming event." With a last lingering kiss, Lucy sighed and headed for the door, casting one final longing glance at her partner.

* * *

Sam picked up the tabloid paper from behind the front door, flipping it over and stopping dead in her tracks when she saw the headline emblazoned across the front page.

"Oh dear God," she murmured. The story was accompanied by a photograph of 3 men, each of whom had apparently committed suicide the day before. Staring out at her were the faces of three of the men she had put helped to put behind bars for their involvement in the child pornography ring the Podowski investigation had uncovered.

"Sam, what is it? You look like you've seen a ghost." Lorna approached her lover cautiously, taking in the ashen face and shocked expression. Wordlessly, Sam handed the newspaper to the Scot with shaky hands. Lorna read the sub-heading and skimmed through the article whilst pulling Sam to her in a one armed embrace, fearful that the blonde would crumple without the support. "Cowardly swines," she muttered, not attempting to hide her contempt.

"Don't you think it's a little convenient?" Sam wondered aloud.

"It is what it is. The truth might never be known and we shouldn't jump to conclusions or else we'll end up turning ourselves inside out and forgetting to actually live our lives. I don't want to waste my time worrying about what anyone else might do, not when I can be enjoying what you and I can definitely do." Lorna tossed the paper onto the hallway table, wrapping both her arms around the shorter woman's waist and pulling her in close.

"I'm scared Lorna. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose this just when I've found the courage to fully embrace this connection between us." Sam buried her head in the redhead's shoulder, clinging to her as though she were afraid she would vanish right then and there.

"We're ok sweetheart, nothing's going to happen to drive us apart. No one would be foolish enough to come after us with this being such a high profile case now, it'd risk too many questions being asked of people who I'm sure would rather see all this fade into the background." In truth, Lorna did share Sam's concerns, fearing that they were now at even greater risk as a result of the investigation they had become ensnared in but knowing that admitting that wouldn't help either of them.

"I hope to God you're right Lorna," Sam murmured defeatedly, shrinking into herself in the protective circle of her lover's arms.

"Morning you two, is it safe or do I need to avert my eyes?" Katie's voice rang brightly from where she had stopped halfway down the stairs. Sam was grateful that her face was still hidden, her cheeks erupting in a fierce blush at the teenager's teasing.

"Morning love, did you sleep ok?" Lorna asked, pointedly ignoring her daughter's question, remaining in the embrace with her partner, not yet ready to relinquish her hold.

"I did, that bed is awesome. I don't think anything would have kept me awake for long," Katie replied with a smile and a raised eyebrow to let her mother know that she had indeed heard plenty of what had been going on in the adult's room the previous night. Lorna joined Sam in blushing this time but cautioned her daughter from further teasing with a subtle shake of her head, indicating it would not be appreciated or tolerated. Katie had the good sense to heed the warning and skipped down the remainder of the stairs before heading towards the kitchen. "Is it ok if I put the kettle on, Sam?" she asked.

"Of course it is Katie, help yourself to anything you like," Sam replied, finally lifting her head from its hiding place and throwing a cautious glance over her shoulder at the miniature version of Lorna. When the youngster had disappeared and could be heard furtling about in cupboards and generally making herself at home, Sam sighed and fixed her gaze on Lorna. "I wish you didn't have to go in to work today," she admitted bashfully.

"I wish I didn't have to either, I'd much rather spend the day here with you," Lorna replied, brushing a stray strand of silky blonde hair behind Sam's ear and caressing the smooth skin of her cheek with the backs of her fingers.

"Call me when you take a break so I know you're ok? Please? I know I'm probably being too clingy and overreacting but I can't help but worry about you. I have this gut feeling that something's not right about all this, so please, for the moment, would you just humour me?" Sam leant in to the gentle caress being offered, looking up imploringly into Lorna's dazzling green eyes.

"I don't need any excuse to phone you. You can count on me getting in touch any chance I get sweetheart." Lorna leant in, placing a quick chaste kiss against Sam's welcoming lips, hyper aware of her daughter being only a few yards away and not wanting to gross the teen out or invite any further teasing of them, knowing that they were both still feeling their way into the relationship. Sam, satisfied for the moment that she would know of Lorna's whereabouts despite them not being together, suggested that they join Katie in the kitchen so that the CSE could breakfast before she needed to leave to take Katie to school and then head for work.

* * *

He lay in wait, watching them, biding his time for the perfect moment; the moment when he knew he would strike. Their guard was up, they were hyper aware but he was adept at hiding in the shadows, stalking his prey and capturing his quarry. He watched the two redheads leave the unassuming house, the blonde remaining inside but from his hiding place, he saw the curtains twitch as she watched her guests go. His mission was clear; as much as he wished he could simply exact revenge on the blonde the time was not right for that, not yet. Perhaps if he was successful, if he performed well enough in this duty, he would be given free rein on her but for now, he had to content himself with trailing his target. Soon, he knew, the next phase of his operation would have to come in to play, before his bosses tired of him and sent another to complete his mission. They had to pay, the system had to see that they were no match for them and that no matter how many times they tried, how many arrests they made, there were still plenty of people willing to step up to the plate and ensure the continuance of their enterprise.

* * *

"Hi Jo, I just got your message, sorry I was away from my phone when you called. How are you? You feeling more rested today?" Sam rinsed the dregs of her coffee from her mug before setting it aside in the draining board to dry.

"I'm ok, a little nauseous now and again and tiredness is still whooping my bum but I'm better than I thought I'd be so I'll cope. How are you? Did you see the news?" Although Jo was dying to hear how things had gone with Lorna the previous night, there were more pressing issues that needed discussing first.

"I have but I don't think it's wise to discuss it over the phone. Care to have some company? I'm not working today so I'm at a bit of a loose end…" What Sam didn't add but hoped Jo would pick up on was that she also didn't want to be alone.

"I don't know Sam, I was looking forward to a day of my brain oozing out of my ears while I watched daytime telly. You think you can better that?" Jo joked, delighted at the prospect of Sam coming over, both because she enjoyed spending time with her and wanted to support her and also as a distraction to pass the time until Lucy got home.

"Well I will certainly try Miss Masters and if I can't then I will gladly leave you to your brain rotting plans," Sam rejoined haughtily but with more than a small dose of mirth.

"Don't you dare, get yourself over here, I haven't forgotten you promised me all the juicy details from last night." Both women were laughing as they hung up their phones, looking forward to some time catching up on each other's news.

Just a short while later, Sam pulled up at Jo's house and jumped out of her car, hastily making her way to the front door and letting Jo know she was there. She waited patiently for the brunette to get to the door, blowing on her hands to keep them warm having been caught out by a freakishly cold turn in the weather. When she was let inside the heated house, she released a sigh of relief and enveloped her friend in a brief embrace, accepting the offer of a hot drink and following the taller woman through to the kitchen.

"So what is going on with this case do you think? You really think it was suicide or do you think someone managed to get to them?" Jo asked as she handed the DI a steaming mug of black coffee.

"Honestly, I don't know what to think. It does scare me though. Lorna was trying to put on a brave face for me earlier but I can tell she's terrified too. She has Katie to consider, she should never have been put in this position," Sam stated vehemently.

"Power and corruption will always go hand in hand, for as long as people give in to greed and their arrogant belief in their own entitlement. That's not to say those of us who know better shouldn't try to prevent them from harming others though and unfortunately, that will sometimes come at a cost. We all have to focus on whether those costs are worth it in the long run. And while I sincerely hope that nothing happens to you or Lorna or Katie or anyone you care about, anyone involved in the investigation in any way, through your actions, you've saved countless children from being brutalised and abused for the pleasure of others." Jo understood the fear, she felt it too, not wanting anything to befall her best friend or the woman that Sam cared for, but she also knew, rationally, that someone had to prevent these worst kinds of abuse of power. "It's gone on for too long, too many have been hurt and too many times these people have used their influence to avoid taking responsibility for what they've done. This time, they will find that they've met their match because no matter who they are or what they think they can get away with, I know that you are the bravest, most determined detective and will stop at nothing to make sure this stops. You can do this Sam, and you're not alone because I will be there with you every step of the way and I'm sure Lorna will too."

"Thank you, Jo, seriously, that means so much, to hear you say that. I only hope you're right," Sam offered a tiny smile to the brunette from across the kitchen island.

"Of course I'm right, I'm rarely ever not!" That comment earned a genuine smile and a small chuckle from her companion.

"Modest as ever I see," Sam retorted with a dramatic eye roll for good measure.

"Come on, let's get comfy on the sofa and then you can tell me all about what happened with Lorna last night," Jo instructed, giving Sam no room for refusal as she rose and strode from the kitchen without a backwards glance.

* * *

Katie hurried through the school corridors, wondering what she had done to warrant being called to the head teacher's office, not knowingly having broken any of the school rules. As she entered the outer office, housing the secretary and bursar, the timid young girl approached the desk and announced her presence expectantly.

"Ms Hart, my name's DS Stuart Turner, I work with your mum and Sam at Sun Hill. There's been an incident, I need you to come with me."


	32. Chapter 32

**_Thanks again to A for Antechinus, iheartsergeantsmith and Sez01 for your reviews, plenty of cyber-chip cookies coming your way :) I'm posting this tonight in celebration of finally finishing a 21 day working week (worked the last 3 weekends and every week day in between too without break, ten plus hours a day oftentimes!) So yeah, cracking open the vino and letting the muse run riot (there may or may not be a villain in the future of this story who could vaguely resemble someone I work with! Lol) Fortunately, I'd already stacked up a few chapters in advance so there'll still be regular weekly updates._**

**_So, what is Stuart up to? And what lies ahead for Sam, Lorna, Jo and Lucy? Read on good people and find out. BTW, I still own bobbins-all so no point in suing me whatsoever. I don't claim any part of The Bill and I make no profit from this, just a little fun and mischief to stop those Sun Hill inhabitants from getting bored in their storage containers._**

* * *

"So did you talk to Lorna last night then?" Jo asked as Sam settled herself onto the sofa beside her.

"Umm well there was talking involved, a little," the blonde's pale skin became infused with a raging red tint, her gaze resolutely fixed on the remaining contents of her mug.

"Way to go stud!" Jo laughed heartily, reaching over and squeezing her friend's shoulder in a gesture of support, watching merrily as the blush deepened even further. "How was it?"

"Incredible. The best sex of my life. What does that say about me Jo? Have I really been that clueless for so much of my life that I've been attracted to women all along and too blind to see it?" Sam questioned following her heartfelt admission.

"All it might mean is that up until now, you've had partners who were more interested in satisfying their own needs than attending to yours. Have you ever seriously thought about sleeping with another woman before Lorna? Or wondered what it would be like to kiss one? Seen a woman and instantly wanted to hold her in your arms?" Sam thought back through the years but couldn't honestly say that she had ever considered any other woman, besides Jo, in a sexual context – a fact she glossed over when answering her friend. "But you have found yourself drawn to men in that way? You've wanted to share a bed with a guy? You've instantly found him attractive and wanted to act on that attraction?"

"Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't have slept with them," Sam responded, her tone frustrated.

"Then I think it's safe to say you haven't been a closet-case for years, even subconsciously. It's just that in recent times, you've found yourself open to considering other ways to fulfil that basic human need for companionship. Lorna appeals to what it is that your heart and soul need at this point in your life. It doesn't mean that from now on, you'll only want to be in a relationship with a woman or that you're suddenly a lesbian. If it doesn't work out with Lorna long-term, you might well revert to being attracted to men or you might find it's another woman who draws your affections. With women, more so than men, sexuality is difficult to quantify as one particular thing for your whole life. It's not usually as clear cut as that. Personally, I don't think I'd ever be attracted to any man but I can't say for definite it wouldn't ever happen and I'm sure if it did, I'd be every bit as confused and unsure as you are." Jo kept her hand on Sam's shoulder as she spoke, figuring the woman could use the contact as an anchor for her troubled mind.

"I just feel so completely out of my depth. I mean, don't get me wrong, last night was amazing and it felt… right, even if it was fumbled and clumsy on my part." Sam sunk further into the sofa's plush cushions, resting her head gently on the outstretched arm of her friend.

"You can't expect to excel first time at something you've never tried before, Sam. It takes time and practice and dialogue between yourself and your partner to perfect it and to find all the ways in which you can make her body sing for you. There are books and DVD's you can buy to help you go beyond the customary basics, if you choose to explore the physicality more thoroughly but if you've found something that works for you both then for the time being at least, why not just stick with that? What do you have to lose?" Jo pressed, knowing that Sam was exhibiting a lot of trust in her with the open, delicate nature of their discussion and acknowledging it as a testament to how close their friendship was.

"Did you have to read books to know what to do? Will it be enough just repeating what we did last night or will it soon become too bland, like always using the same position can with a guy? Will it soon not be enough to give her that same pleasure?" Sam felt a growing sense of unease rising within her as she thought about how much was unknown to her regarding the physical aspect of romancing Lorna or any woman. She hated being in the dark about anything, hated not having the answers at her fingertips.

"You can't know if it will or won't but either way, you'll overcome any issues like that together by being honest and talking to one another. It was a little different for me. I'd known from an early age that I had an appreciation for the female form and my first sexual encounter with another woman was with someone who was already very experienced. She guided me and taught me a good few things about how to love a woman. I'm presuming that Lorna has as much experience as you do, which means that you'll learn together, you'll grow together as lovers and you'll have the excitement of discovering how amazing you can make one another feel together. It's a complication but not an insurmountable one. It's only like two virgins getting it on, really. It might take a while but sooner or later, you're going to hit your stride and grow into your role." Jo tenderly massaged the tense muscles of her friend's neck and shoulder, wishing she would quit expecting to run before she had learned to walk but knowing it was against Sam's very nature to do so. She was a perfectionist in everything she did, striving to excel in every aspect of her life. The unknown unnerved her greatly. "I'm going to stick the kettle on again, fancy another cuppa?" Jo thought of the books and DVD buried upstairs in the back of the wardrobe and hoped Sam would not think she was overstepping the mark if she suggested lending it to her.

* * *

Katie watched the streets streaking by as the car she was travelling in sped along busy roads. DS Turner hadn't given her any more information regarding the incident which had led to her being removed from school. Her mind conjured up all manner of disasters that could have befallen her mother but she had given up attempting to coax answers from the silent man in the driver's seat. It seemed like they had been driving a long time but since the teenager was unfamiliar with where her mother's job was based or where the police station was in relation to her school, she had no way of telling how long it might take to get there. Only when populated areas gave way to semi-deserted storage facilities did she start to think that something was not quite right. As she went to turn to the detective beside her, she felt a sharp pain in her neck follow swiftly by a descending darkness. Losing her vain battle for consciousness, Katie slumped against the passenger side window.

* * *

Jo returned to the lounge to find Sam gazing out of the window, lost in thought. She approached the smaller woman quietly, placing the mugs and other things she'd collected on the coffee table as she passed. "You ok?" she asked softly, not wanting to startle her friend out of her musing.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, you just gave me a fair bit to think about is all." The brunette nodded her understanding, realising that Sam's mind must be awhirl given her propensity to consider things from all angles until she was sure she was fully prepared to deal with whatever might be thrown at her.

"I umm… I brought some things down that I've found useful in my time, I thought maybe you might like to borrow them. I mean, you don't have to or anything, I just thought it would save you having to go out and look for something, especially if you're not comfortable with other people knowing yet that you're in a relationship with a woman." Sam's raised eyebrow ceased Jo's rambling and the older woman watched a blush that could rival her own from earlier spread across the brunette's pale cheeks. "It's nothing kinky, I'm not giving you sex toys or anything!"

"That implies you have such things in your possession to lend, DC Masters," Sam teased mercilessly.

"Trust me, love, I have no need for a phallic object, synthetic or otherwise. I get along just fine with the equipment I was born with!" Jo retorted, chest pushed out with simulated pride, as she winked at her friend saucily. Sam collapsed into gales of laughter, loving how the other woman could diffuse any situation with her humour.

"Is that so?" the blonde asked when she had recovered sufficiently.

"Uh-huh, in fact I'm so skilled, I could give master classes in the art of lady lovin'" Jo drawled with shockingly bad pseudo-American accent, eliciting another round of uncontrollable laughter from her companion at the pun as much as the inference.

"In that case, oh genius one, teach me your ways and make me your apprentice!" Sam bent over at the waist, bowing low in mock deference to Jo's ego, still chuckling intermittently at their playful banter. Jo stepped over to the coffee table, sweeping one of the books off it before brandishing it with a flourish. Taking the proffered book, Sam read aloud, "The Complete Guide to Lesbian Sex? This is like a how to book for dummies?" Despite her obvious scepticism, the blonde did flick through the pages. "What? No diagrams with labels like press here, rub this?"

"Keep it up, I can easily leave you fumbling about in the dark you know?" Jo was amused by the blonde's reaction to her trying to take the book away, despite her sarcasm as the older woman hugged it to her chest with both arms crossed protectively over its cover.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I appreciate it really I do." Sam regarded the book more seriously, "there's a lot of reading here – care to give me any hints on which parts I need to gen up on as a matter of priority?"

"Sam, don't worry about it so much. Honestly, it can't be that much different from being with a man. Do you seriously want me to talk you through some of it? I mean, I brought a DVD down as well for you to borrow or we can put it on if you don't think it'd be too weird…" Jo trails off, realising that she's rambling once again and chews on her bottom lip nervously, not really believing what she's offering to do.

"Umm if we're going to do that I might need to sit down again," Sam swallowed, equally as nervously.

"That's ok, I'll let you," Jo murmured quietly, guiding the older woman down into the luxurious cushions and then swiping up the DVD and slipping it into the player quickly before she lost her nerve. When she turned around, Sam was toying with the mug of coffee she had picked up, running her finger in circles around the rim in a manner which Jo found unintentionally sensual. Quelling the automatic physiological response to the images it conjured in her mind, she strode the short distance back to the couch and plopped down beside her friend, remote in hand. "It's not pornographic or anything, more of a visual version of what the book says, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable we can turn it off, any time."

"We don't have to do this if you're not okay with it, Jo. I don't want to make things awkward between us, I just don't know…" Sam struggled for how to phrase it.

"…any other lesbians you can get an anatomy lesson from?" Jo joked before becoming serious again. "We won't let it be a problem between us, you mean too much to me for that. And I'm touched that you feel comfortable enough with me to ask me these things. There's no substitute for practice and talking to the woman you're actual in a physical relationship with but if I can put your mind at ease about anything, any aspect of it, then it's worth doing."

"Oh my… I'm not sure I can…" If Sam's expression hadn't been so disturbed, Jo would have found her highly amusing, head tilted to one side as she observed the images on the screen before them, angled to get a better view of what the blonde woman was doing to her rather stereotypically butch-looking companion. "Do all…? Do you…?"

"Do I go down on a woman when I'm making love to her?" Sam nodded, swallowing thickly. "I do, personally I enjoy the intimacy of it but I've also been with lovers who haven't liked making love that way and it was never the reason we broke up. Sam, just because you see it on here or in a book or hell even in a movie, doesn't mean to say you have to do it yourself. Did you ever give any of your male partners a blowjob?" Jo asked, wondering if there had been any aspect of sex that Sam had truly found pleasurable before. It was funny, the preconceptions you had about people and how they rarely proved to be accurate. Never in a million years would Jo have taken Sam for a prude so the blonde's reticence to consider anything beyond complete vanilla seemed out of character in Jo's mind.

"Only when they made it clear it was what they expected me to do, never voluntarily. I've just never seen the attraction of putting something like that in my mouth," Sam responded honestly with a shudder.

With a wry smile, suggesting Jo felt the same way about male appendages, the brunette asked, "Ok, well have any of your previous partners ever attempted to bring you release orally?"

"It's not really a guy thing I don't think. None of them really ever showed any interest in anything other than getting inside me as soon as possible," Sam supplied with a tiny shrug.

"I'll take that as a no then. It's not for everyone, giving or receiving, but done right, it can be very pleasurable for both parties whether it's between a homosexual or a heterosexual couple." Jo turned towards Sam with a frown on her face. "Sam, any kind of intimacy between any couple should be an expression of their affection for one another. It's about strengthening the emotional connection through physical caresses, tender words and the want to give one another that pleasurable elation that comes from the endorphin rush. It shouldn't be something that causes you stress or makes you fret so much that it puts you off doing it at all."

"It won't… it doesn't, I just… it's a lot to think about. I mean, I wouldn't even know where to start with something like that," Sam sighed in frustration as she vaguely indicated the DVD still playing in the background, all but forgotten.

"It'd come to you, if the mood took you in that direction. Use your imagination for a sec, close your eyes and think about Lorna kissing you and then imagine that feeling down there. Soft, gentle kisses; lips caressing you; a tongue stroking you." Jo watched another shudder run through Sam's slender body but this time accompanied by a gasp. Sam was shocked as her body responded strongly to the imagery Jo was conjuring with her words. "Trust me Sam, let me borrow your hand for a minute." Blue eyes shot open, wondering what on earth Jo was proposing to do but still tentatively unfurled one hand and extended it towards her friend. "Close your eyes again," Jo instructed as she moulded Sam's hand into a loose fist. "I'm just going to demonstrate something to you but if you want to stop, I won't force you to carry on. Any time you want me to stop, I'll stop, ok?" Sam nodded slowly, warily, swallowing thickly once again as her eyes fluttered shut. Her body jerked, tensing automatically, as she felt incredibly soft lips begin to trace patterns around the edge of her forefinger and thumb where her fist lay cradled in Jo's palm. Teeth gently grazed the area too before a hot tongue soothed the places the teeth had nipped. And then that tongue wriggled its way into the tiny gap between her curled forefinger and the palm of her hand, insinuating itself into the tight cocoon, licking suggestively.

Sam tried but failed to bite back the moan of appreciation, the flood of arousal riding high in her and making her dizzy. "Ohhhhh," she hissed as Jo's lips pursed against the tip of her fist and simulated a gentle sucking which the heady blonde needed no diagram to understand would be wrapped around her sensitive clit.

Breaking off from her task, hoping that she hadn't gone too far, Jo murmured, "that's really all there is to it." Raising her head, she grinned at Sam impishly before adding, "only with a little more lubrication!" A fiery blue gaze met Jo's own and the two women seemed to realise just how close their faces were. Sam drew in a shaky breath, leaning forward a little more, drawn towards her companion like metal towards a magnet. Jo's eyes flickered to the plush, pale lips so close to her own, parted invitingly. "Sam," she breathed as they edged closer, impossibly closer, until there was only a hair's breadth between them.

The ringing of a mobile phone interrupted the moment milliseconds before their lips met, shocking them both into springing apart as though they had just been caught by their other halves in bed together. Jo snatched her phone up off the chair arm, leaning into the far side of the sofa while Sam bolted to her feet and retreated into the kitchen, wishing she could simply run from the house but knowing she would have to return to the lounge to retrieve her bag and car keys before she could leave. She settled instead for pacing the length and breadth of the kitchen, threatening to wear holes in the flooring as she completed circuit after circuit, her mind in turmoil. She had just come within millimetres of kissing her best friend, her best friend who just happened to be a) in a relationship with a wonderful woman who was ideally suited to her and b) currently battling cancer and already had enough on her plate. Not to mention Lorna. Over and over, she mentally chastised herself for allowing things to go too far, for getting so swept up in the moment, for letting her libido overrule her morality. On one circuit, who knew how many minutes had passed, Sam spied a contrite looking Jo hovering in the doorway, watching her concernedly.

"Sam, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have let it get that far. I never meant for it to degenerate into anything like that, honestly. I wouldn't intentionally do anything to jeopardise our friendship, please believe that," Jo pleaded, keeping her distance but maintaining eye contact with the shorter woman.

"No, Jo, it's my fault. I shouldn't have put you in that position. You were only trying to help me, you were doing everything I asked of you. I shouldn't have let myself get carried away by my body's reaction to what you were demonstrating. I'm sorry." Sam ceased her pacing long enough to apologise to her friend, hoping that the awkward tension between them would just disappear.

"Hey, Sam, please, stop, you're making me nauseous with all this motion." Jo reached out as Sam whisked past, catching her arm and pulling her to a standstill, forcing inertia but still feeling the tremors of energy rippling through the muscles beneath her hand. "I meant what I said earlier, I don't want this to come between us. You do mean too much to me to lose you. Please, look at me?" Reluctantly, the blonde head rose until Sam's watery blue gaze was held by Jo's gentle own. "I love you in the same way that I would love a sister. You're my best friend. But you're also a beautiful woman and I can't deny that I recognise that. We both got carried away but it doesn't have to change anything. Nothing happened, not really. You love Lorna and I adore what I have with Lucy. We're both where we need to be and with who we need to be with. And I promise that you can still talk to me any time, about anything, and I mean _any_thing, I'll just maybe rein in the practical demonstrations in future, for both our sakes!" To illustrate there was no residual shyness on her part, Jo pulled Sam into a loose embrace, making sure the older woman had room to escape should she choose to. When she simply snuggled into Jo's body more tightly, resting her head against the taller woman's shoulder, Jo felt safe enough to drop a tender kiss against her crown. "Fancy another drink?" And just like that, the two women got their wish as any lingering tension vanished only to be replaced by a feeling of awe at the strength of their friendship.

* * *

"Lorna, it's Moira. It's almost five pm. Could you give me a call as soon as you get this message, please? I'm sure it's nothing to worry about and there's a reasonable explanation for it but Katie's not back from school yet. Did she have an afterschool club this evening or some sporting event you forgot to mention? If you could let me know so I know what's happening with her tonight. Ok, speak to you soon I hope." Lorna listened to the message from her sister, looking at her watch with a frown, noticing that it had been left over 30minutes previously. The next message began playing back, "Lorna, please please call me. I'm getting really worried now. It's gone 5.15 and there's still no sign of Katie. She's not answering her mobile and I can't get hold of anyone at the school to check if there's anything going on there. I'm going to keep trying her phone but please call me as soon as you pick this up." Hanging up without waiting to hear the final message she had been left, figuring it too would be from her frantic sister. She flicked through her contacts list until she came to her sister's number, hitting the call button and listening to the mechanical dialling tone as she waited for the call to connect.

"Moira, it's me. Is she there yet?"

"Lorna, thank God you've called. No, still no sign of her. I take it she should be? That there was no reason for her to be staying behind at school or anything?" Moira's accent was broader than Lorna's, having stayed in Scotland for longer than her younger sibling, even more so when she was distressed.

"Not that I know of and she didn't mention that she was going to anyone's house after school. She knows better than to just go off somewhere without calling me to check first. Let me call Sam and make sure she's not with her and I'll call you back in a few minutes." Lorna advised, her mind running at a million miles per hour with possibilities of where her daughter could be.

"Who's Sam? A friend from school?" Moira asked hopefully.

"No, she's… a close friend of mine from work, we've been spending quite a bit of time together, the three of us recently. Katie gets on well with her. We hadn't made any firm arrangements for this evening but Katie knew Sam wasn't working today so it's a possibility she headed there after school and they lost track of time. I'll call Sam and check, I promise I'll call you straight back." The two sister's disconnected the call, each with their own worries about the teenager's whereabouts. As soon as the line was clear, Lorna redialled, calling her lover and hoping with all she had that her errant daughter was with the detective.

"Hi you, how was work?" Sam's smile came through the phone line as she answered, her warm tone washing over Lorna and instilling a tiny flicker of calm amidst the maelstrom.

"Sam, honey is Katie with you?" Lorna asked breathlessly, heart pounding as she awaited the answer.

"No, I've not seen her since this morning. Lorna, what's going on?" Sam's voice had hardened, concern colouring her tone.

"She's not come home from school. She's missing. Sam, what if they've got my little girl?" Lorna finally broke down, anxiety crashing through her flimsily erected barriers and unleashing wracking sobs.


	33. Chapter 33

**_A Happy Valentine's Day gift to all those of you reading this tale, with extra sprinkles on for those of you who have taken the time to drop me reviews as well. Hope your Monday is treating you better than mine has treated me! First day back at work after a week's leave and I'm left wondering why I take time off at all! Oh well, you're not here to hear me whine so on with the tale._**

**_Same disclaimer as always, I own bubkes!_**

* * *

"I'm on my way over, are you at home?" Sam hurried about her own home, slipping into her shoes and rifling through discarded post for her car keys.

"I'm heading home now, my sister's waiting for me to call her back. She was supposed to be watching Katie until I got home, she's at my place. Katie prefers being at home and Moira doesn't mind making use of my electricity, wireless broadband and satellite television for a few hours. I turned my phone off while I was testifying in court earlier and must have forgotten to turn it back on when I switched my work mobile back on. She left me a couple of messages when Katie hadn't turned up by 5 o'clock. I need to call Moira… and the school… and Katie's friends…" Sam could hear that Lorna was becoming more and more frantic and made a decision to change her destination.

"Lorna, listen to me sweetheart, I need you to stay put until I get to you ok? Are you at work still? I'm going to come and pick you up. I really don't think you should be driving right now and this way you can be calling people while we're in the car." The Scot distractedly agreed before saying goodbye and disconnecting the call. Sam pulled the front door closed behind her, dashing to her car and pulling off with a squeal of her tyres.

* * *

"Moira, any sign of her yet?" Lorna barked into the handset as soon as the line was connected.

"No, nothing. I take it she's not with Sam then?" Moira replied, running a hand through unruly auburn curls as she peeled back the net curtains and peered out into the street as though Katie would miraculously appear at any moment.

"No, Sam's picking me up from work so I can make phone calls while she drives," Lorna supplied too distracted to realise it would sound somewhat unusual to her sister for a simple work friend to be so concerned about a colleague's wayward child.

"She must be an awfully good friend to you both to give up her evening like that, since I'm assuming she won't just drop you here and go home," Moira fished, sensing there was much more to this than her sister had let on. She'd noticed a change in her in recent weeks, a calmer, happier air around her and when she smiled, it seemed more genuine, more real somehow. The last time she had seen Lorna so at ease was shortly before she introduced Moira to James, her future husband, for the first time. Could it be that her sister had found love again? With a woman? Once Katie was found and the current drama had receded, Moira would make a point of seriously considering how she would feel about such a turn of events. As a Catholic, it was against her faith to condone such a relationship but this was her sister and she wasn't sure that she believed God would be so cruel as to turn his back on a woman who looked to find any small sliver of happiness after all Lorna had been through.

"Sam is… we've grown close… very close while working together on a case. She's… fantastic." Lorna was reticent to share the exact nature of her relationship with Sam so soon after finally plucking up the courage to do something about it, not least because she was hyper aware of her sister's religion and their stance on same-sex partnerships.

"Well, it's good… that you have someone you can rely on… someone to support you at a time like this, especially with James not being around," Moira replied, softly.

"James is always with me. I feel him here and see him in his daughter every day. But yes, it is nice to have a shoulder to lean on when times are tough." Lorna sensed that her younger sister had already picked up on just how much Sam meant to her and hoped that it wasn't about to make a bad situation worse when they arrived back at the house. She spied Sam's car tearing round the bend and hurtling towards where she was standing on the pavement outside the lab in which she worked when not out in the field. "Sam's arrived so we should be home in about 15 to 20 minutes. Could you put the kettle on? I have a feeling I'm going to need a whole lot of caffeine to get through tonight." Lorna slid into Sam's passenger seat as soon as the car had slowed to a stop at the kerb, ending the call with her sister and looking across to where her lover sat with an expression every bit as grim as she felt her own must be.

"Any news?" Sam asked hopefully.

Lorna simply shook her head, grateful for the contact when Sam wordlessly reached across the divide and squeezed her hand in one of her own. "I'm scared, Sam. Katie doesn't do this, she doesn't just not come home without letting me or Moira know where she is. She knows better than that. This is them isn't it? They've taken her." The tears in the Scot's eyes were reflected by the pain in her voice, making Sam's heart ache. She wished more than anything that she could take that pain and fear away, that she could somehow offer assurances that her daughter would be found alive and well, but she knew she couldn't do that because there were no such guarantees unfortunately.

"Let's not jump to conclusions before we've covered every other available possibility first, ok? Have you called the school? Her friends? Just in case she's lost track of time or something." In place of joining her lover in breaking down, Sam opted to be the practical one. That didn't however prevent her mind from flashing back to the abject terror she herself had felt when Abi had been taken from her by Hugh Wallis, a manipulative sociopath who had gained Sam's trust before betraying it in the most despicable of ways. Her heart clenched in her chest, her pulse racing madly even as she schooled her features into a mask of calm concern.

"No… I should do that… you're right… of course, I'll just…" Lorna trailed off, hands shaking as she fumbled with her mobile phone, which suddenly seemed too small for her clumsy fingers. Once again, as Sam slowed at a junction, the blonde placed a tender hand over Lorna's own, stilling their jerky movements and offering just enough comfort to enable the Scot to dial the number she needed to. Sam's hand retracted in order to change gear but soon rested back on Lorna's leg, midway between her knee and her thigh. "Hi, this is Lorna Hart speaking, could you check for me please if my daughter Katie stayed behind at school for any reason this afternoon? Was there an extra netball practice or anything? Only she hasn't come home."

"I'll just check for you Mrs Hart," the far too perky voice on the other end of the line informed her. Lorna heard papers rustling, pages turning. "It appears that a colleague of yours, a DS Turner, signed Katie out of school earlier today due to an incident involving yourself. He assured the staff on duty that you had requested him to collect Katie and take her to you. Was that not the case?"

Lorna's heart dropped, a sickly feeling washing over her as she listened to the news of her daughter's whereabouts. "What time did he take her out of school?" Sam risked a glance over at her partner, knowing the worst just by the pallor of her skin.

"It says here that she was signed out at 11.04am today." There was more rustling before the woman supplied, "I'm afraid we have no record of Katie returning to the school."

"Oh God," Lorna groaned, bile rising in her throat. "Sam pull over… I'm going to be…" As soon as the car slowed down enough, before it had even come to a stop, Lorna was out and bent double at the waist, losing the contents of her stomach. Sam slipped the forgotten phone from Lorna's slender fingers, her free hand rubbing soothing circles on the Scot's lower back as she continued to wretch.

"This is Detective Inspector Samantha Nixon, can I ask who I'm talking to please?" Sam retreated into professional mode, knowing it was the only way she would survive the conversation she was about to have.

"Mary, Mary Middleton, I'm the senior secretary at All Saints Secondary School where Mrs Hart's daughter attends," the young woman babbled, suddenly even more nervous by the introduction of a detective inspector.

"Mrs Hart isn't in any fit state to continue the conversation right now, could you please repeat to me what you've already told her regarding the whereabouts of her daughter, Katie?" Sam maintained physical contact with Lorna who was still doubled over but appeared to have finished retching. She rubbed her hand in concentric circles over the Scot's lower back, wishing she could offer more in the way of comfort or support.

Mary began regaling Sam with the day's events, "A Detective Sergeant Stuart Turner arrived at the school shortly before eleven o'clock this morning and informed us that he had been sent to collect Katie Hart due to there having been an incident involving her mother. He said that due to it being as a result of an active investigation, he wasn't able to give us any details but that we could phone Sun Hill police station and check with them if we needed verification. My colleague dialled the number he gave us for the station and a gentleman there by the name of Jack Meadows confirmed that Katie needed to be taken to her mother immediately. Katie was brought from her classroom and signed out of the school at four minutes past eleven. There's no record of her returning to school at any time during the day."

"Do you have a record of the telephone number DS Turner gave for the police station?" Sam asked, not willing to believe that Jack was part of the subterfuge after all.

"I'm afraid that's not recorded in the events log but I know which handset was used to make the call and they do keep a record of up to the last 20 incoming and outgoing calls. I know what time the call was made so let me check whether the number's still there for you." The line went quiet, presumably as the secretary put it on mute while she tried to find the number. Sam wouldn't be at all surprised if the young woman was not informing anyone and everyone who was still in the office too, alerting them to the fact that a child had been snatched right from under their noses. "Sorry to keep you waiting," Mary offered after keeping Sam on hold for long, silent minutes. "The number we were given was 020 7601 2046."

"And when you called that number, did you get straight through to Jack Meadows or did it ring through to reception?" Sam hedged, not willing to let on that it was a completely false number.

"It was answered by someone else who didn't offer their name, but who put me through to Mr Meadows when I explained why I was calling," Mary replied, a little tetchily as she felt like the school were being accused of not taking their responsibilities for the welfare of their charges seriously enough. Sam had ducked back into her car, rifling through her handbag and finding her notepad and paper which she always carried with her. She scribbled the telephone number down along with a few other notes, leaning on the top of the car for support, casting regular glances over her shoulder to where Lorna was now crouched, head bowed, whole body trembling.

"Could I ask that you remain at the school until an officer has been over to take your statement? They will need to names and addresses of anyone who has already left who was in the office today when DS Turner collected Katie so that officers can take statements from them also," Sam requested, wanting to cut the conversation short so that she could phone the real Sun Hill and report Katie's abduction.

"Certainly but the school cannot legislate for everything. We did everything we possibly could to ensure that the officer had a legitimate reason for removing Ms Hart before we allowed her to go with him," Mary responded haughtily.

"I'm certain that you all did everything which could be expected of you and no one is looking to apportion blame to the school in any way. We simply need to make sure we get statements from anyone with information as soon as possible so that we can find Katie quickly. Your assistance and cooperation is very much appreciated, Ms Middleton." Sam understood the defensiveness displayed by the secretary. She too had reacted in much the same way when questioned about her own role in her daughter's disappearance.

Appeased and somewhat chastened, Mary offered her apologies and thanks before rounding off the call with assurances that any officer sent to investigate would receive the school's full cooperation.

Finally, Sam could return her attention, albeit briefly, to her panic stricken lover who was still crouched down low to the ground, resting back on her haunches, face wan. "Lorna, sweetheart, come and sit back in the car while I phone the station and get the ball moving on finding Katie." The blonde DI placed a supportive arm around the Scot's slender waist, assisting her into the passenger seat, leaving her feet on the pavement just in case another wave of nausea washed over her. The position was also preferable for Sam, as she could now rest her notebook on the roof of the car and have Lorna in her line of vision, not to mention being able to keep her own leg pressed up against the distraught redhead's. If anything, the other woman's eerie silence was beginning to unnerve the detective. It was as if Lorna had shut down, unable to deal with anything beyond her immense fear and grief for the welfare of her daughter. Rationally, Sam recognised that it was mainly due to shock but that still didn't make it any more comfortable to witness. She tried handing the seated woman back her mobile, encouraging her to call her sister and update her of their whereabouts so that Moira wouldn't worry about them too. The tiny device slipped through Lorna's uncoordinated fingers and into her lap. The Scot stared at it as though it were something completely alien to her that she had no clue what to do with. Sighing, Sam rested one hand on her partner's shoulder, realising that she would have to take care of that too but deciding it could wait until after she had spoken to her boss. The detective hit the speed dial she had assigned to work, listening impatiently as she waited for someone to answer.

"Good evening, Sun Hill Police Station, how may I help you?" A woman's voice that Sam vaguely recognised greeted her as her call was finally connected.

"This is Detective Inspector Sam Nixon, is DCI Meadows still there?"

"Hi DI Nixon, I've not seen him in a while but I'll try his office for you." As the woman on the other end babbled away, Sam finally placed her.

"Thanks PC Ryder, I'd appreciate it." Sam listened to the monotone beeps at regular intervals as she waited to be connected to Jack or for Mel Ryder to come back on the line.

"Sam, what can I do for you at this hour on your day off?" Jack's tone was brusque but friendly enough.

"Jack, thank God you're still there. We have a problem. Are you alone… in your office?" Sam heard a clunk which she presumed was the Yorkshire man closing his office door.

"I am. What's going on? Where are you?" Jack asked, sensing the urgency in his DI's tone.

"I'm with Lorna Hart, her daughter was taken from her school earlier today by DS Turner, or at least someone purporting to be him, until we get someone over there and take statements we can't be sure if it really was him or if someone was masquerading as him. They gave the school a false number to ring to check him out, they thought he was genuinely there on police business." Sam rushed to fill in her boss on the goings on as she knew them so far.

"Wait…wait, slow down. Lorna's daughter was abducted from her school by Stuart Turner? Where are you now, Sam? I'll get an officer over to take your statements straight away. Which school? Are people still there if I send someone over there to get statements from them too?"

"We were on our way to Lorna's house when Lorna got hold of someone at the school - All Saints Secondary School - to find out if Katie had stayed behind for some reason. Mary Middleton, the secretary, told her that DS Turner had signed her out at 11.04 this morning and Katie never signed back in. I've already advised her that someone will be over to take the statements of anyone who is still around who knows anything about what happened. She's also preparing the contact details of any staff who were present but have already left for the day. I'm going to take Lorna to her house, her sister's there waiting for us, she was the one who alerted Lorna to the fact Katie hadn't come home. I'll stay with her unless you need me at the station," Sam informed the DCI, with a note of finality.

"I think it would probably be wisest, given your own involvement in and knowledge of the case, if you were to act as liaison officer for the family. Lorna's more likely to open up to you about things if we need information about Katie given your shared history with this whole debacle," Jack responded, his mind already awhirl as he tried to decide which officers from CID should be assigned to investigate the girl's disappearance. Whoever it was would need to be appraised of some of the more sensitive facts which may be pertinent but it would also need to be someone level-headed and discrete due to the involvement – directly or indirectly – of Stuart Turner.

"Thanks Jack, we should be ho…" Sam caught herself, just before she slipped and said 'home', continuing instead with, "back at Lorna's in about ten minutes or so. Who's on duty this evening?"

Jack understood that Sam was wanting to know in advance who would be attending to take statements from Lorna, Lorna's sister and herself. "Terry, Grace and Angie Walker and Neil, obviously. Since she knows some of what has transpired already, I'll see if Grace is free to come over and get your statements off you. I'll send Terry with some uniforms to the school."

"Great, we'll expect Grace shortly then. I'd better get Lorna home before her sister thinks something's happened to us as well." Jack and Sam exchanged brief farewells. Sam kept her counsel from her lover, but the level of organisation and meticulous attention to detail did suggest that they were not dealing with a lone police officer on the run. Crouching down in front of the mute redhead, Sam pushed the dense ginger locks from in front of her pale face until she was looking up into empty, dull, green eyes. "Let's get you home. Come on, swing your legs in and we'll get going. Grace is going to meet us at your house to take statements. Terry's going over to the school to deal with that end. Jack's going to fill in Neil and Inspector Gold. They'll do everything they can to find her."

* * *

"She's older than our normal girls but I'm sure there's a market for her that we can exploit somewhere. She's not much of a looker is she? But she's not too well developed so she'll still appeal to some of our customers, no doubt. A tart's a tart when all's said and done. And if there's no takers here, we can send her where she will be appreciated. Plenty of avenues we can explore." Katie trembled in the arms of the man holding her as she overheard the conversation around her, consciousness just returning to her.

"Don't you think exploring a market outside of our region would be wisest? Get her somewhere she can't be found? Last thing we need is to bring heat unnecessarily. I really do think that holding her under their noses is a definite needless risk. Granted, most of them couldn't find a hooker in a brothel, but Nixon and Hart have already proven they're not your average bonehead cops." Another voice sounded close to Katie's ear, her vision masked by what she could only presume was a material blindfold. Tiny chinks of light peeped through, no bigger than pin pricks, rendering her blind to the scene before her.

"What about you? You're very quiet and yet you know these women. What do you suggest we do with this one?" The first voice again asked of someone else in the room.

A voice she recognised answered, even closer to her ear. At least she now knew that DS Turner was still there with her. A tiny flame of hope ignited within her. He was a police officer, surely this was just part of some setup to catch the bad guys and he wouldn't let any harm come to her. "Sam Nixon is the most stubborn, annoying, tenacious detective I have ever come across. She will leave no stone unturned in her efforts to find the girl. The fact that it is the daughter of someone she cares for will only make her more determined. There really are only two options as far as I can see; get her as far away as possible, as soon as possible and I'm talking Outer Mongolia or somewhere equally remote and non-traceable, or use her to send a message to them and all those who seek to destroy our network, a stark and indisputable message that for every attempt made, lives will be sacrificed." At his words, Katie became less and less sure that the policeman was actually on her side, but then she supposed that he would need to be convincing if he was undercover. She had to hope that that's what was going on, that it was all part of some elaborate ruse and that she would be returned unharmed to her mum. A tear trickled from her closed eyes as she thought of how much her mum must be worrying about her. The fact that she would have Sam by her side was of small comfort. For all their teasing and occasional spats, Katie adored Lorna and would never do anything to cause her any kind of pain.

"Interesting proposition, I'll take that under advisement. For now, stash her downstairs and make sure she's not going anywhere. No one touches her, she's more valuable to us unbroken. I mean it, no fooling around, not even a little foreplay, got it?" There was a growl to this man's voice that scared Katie but at least it sounded like she would remain relatively unharmed for the moment. She could only pray that she was rescued before he came to a decision on what to do with her.


	34. Chapter 34

**_Once again, a massive thanks to A for Antechinus, Sez01 and iheartsergeantsmith for your reviews. Honestly, they do mean a lot to me (and I'm not saying that to get you to review here as well, I just want to say a genuine thank you for taking the time and trouble to let me know your thoughts)._**

**_Onwards, ever onwards. As always, I own very little in this story - if you recognise it from the telly, it ain't mine nor do I claim that it is! No profit or money of any kind in fact is being made from this, I'm just letting the characters flex their muscles since it's awfully cramped in those storage crates._**

* * *

Jo slunk into the kitchen, slipping into place behind her lover as she stood at the counter making drinks for them both. The meal that Jo had prepared was cooking in the oven, giving her chance to welcome her lover home. The incident with Sam earlier was still preying on her mind and, despite nothing actually having occurred between them, she still felt that she owed it to her lover to be honest. Resting her chin on the shorter woman's shoulder and wrapping her arms securely around her trim waist, Jo dropped a tender kiss against the side of Lucy's neck.

"Mmm, that feels nice, sweetheart," Lucy murmured as she sank back against the taller woman's firm body. "Did Sam manage to distract you from the terrors of daytime telly today?" The teaspoon clanked noisily against the sides of the mug as the raven-haired woman stirred milk into her own coffee.

"Yeah, we did a lot of talking… about her and Lorna, how things are going between them… what it's like being with a woman." Something in Jo's hesitant tone made Lucy turn around in the detective's embrace, wanting… needing to see her face.

"They ok?" Lucy thought that perhaps Sam had discovered some latent vein of homophobia within herself or something along those lines and had inadvertently hurt Jo by reacting badly to the thought of a full, physically intimate relationship with another woman.

"They… um… they slept together... last night… for the first time. Sam was… she panicked… was over thinking everything and working herself up into a complete state about not being able to satisfy Lorna, not being enough for her. We got to talking about… how she could learn… about how I learned… about what more she could do. I leant her some books and a DVD that I had, I figured she'd get more use out of it than either of us." Once started, Jo was in full flow, talking at a mile a minute and barely pausing for breath, needing to get her confession out without interruption. "Sam was so anxious, I just wanted to do anything I could to put her mind at rest, to make her see that it's something beautiful and natural to be with a woman, not something to fear in any way." Lucy had a gnawing pit of dread growing in her stomach as Jo babbled, wondering quite how far the assistance in Sam's understanding of lesbian sex had gone. "We got on to talking about making love to a woman with your mouth. Sam's never… none of her previous lovers have ever done that for her, she didn't understand how it could be pleasurable. I…uh…I demonstrated…"

"What?" Lucy blurted, wrenching herself from Jo's arms and scooting down the edge of the workbench to put some distance between them.

Jo reached out for her, begging her with her eyes to allow her touch, but Lucy shied away. "Not like that, I used her hand as a substitute to demonstrate on. I wouldn't… I couldn't do that… not ever… not to you."

"I presume there's a reason you feel the need to tell me this?" Lucy's tone was cold, her stare hard, clearly illustrating her displeasure.

"I almost kissed Sam. We both just got caught up in the moment. But then you rang before we did…"

"Well I'm sorry for interrupting your moment…" Lucy barked, making a move towards the door.

"I'm not," Jo responded vehemently. "The entire time I was showing Sam what it could be like, I was thinking about your body, about what gives you pleasure, about what I love doing to your body to drive you wild. After I got off the phone to you, I went to find Sam – she ran into the kitchen as soon as she realised what we'd been about to do – and we talked. We both acknowledged it was a mistake, would have been a mistake, and that we both cared for you and Lorna far too much to screw up like that. Sam and I are friends, nothing more. In that moment, it was nothing more than a physical response to what we'd both been thinking about – I wanted to kiss _you_, to hold _you_ in my arms and show you how much I love you. Sam told me that she had wanted it to be Lorna where I was too. I needed to tell you, I needed to be honest with you because I know that you deserve nothing less than my complete honesty." Jo remained where she stood, not wanting to crowd the younger woman or risk driving her from the room by approaching, leaving the ball in her court following the revelation.

"Geez Jo, you don't do things by halves do you?" Lucy sighed, running a hand through unruly raven curls. "I can't say that I'm not hurt by what you and Sam almost did but I do appreciate you being upfront with me about the fact that it happened. I'm no saint, Jo. I've been caught in situations where my hormones have overruled my head too… not since we've been together though so don't go torturing yourself wondering whether I've been with anyone else… but I've also grown to know Sam at least some while you were in hospital. I've seen how she can be, how she can turn herself inside out worrying about something she doesn't really need to be worrying about. I'm disappointed that both of you didn't have more restraint but I'd hope that good sense would have kicked back in even if I hadn't phoned you when I did. It might take me a little while to forget but as far as I'm concerned, nothing happened, so there's nothing to forgive. I'm not saying I'm pleased about it or that I'm ok with it but it's in the past. Let's just have dinner and move on."

* * *

"That was Jack, they've taken a look at CCTV footage from the school. It was definitely Stuart Turner himself who took Katie. We know what car he was driving so that gives us something solid to search for. There are officers scouring every available piece of film from the area to try and trace which direction they went in," Grace informed Lorna, Moira and Sam as she re-entered the lounge. Sam was perched in one of the armchairs beneath the curtained window, allowing Lorna and Moira to cling to one another on the sofa. By unspoken agreement, it had been decided that there would be no show of the nature of their relationship while there were witnesses around, at the very least not until all official police presence had dissipated. Sam wondered how Lorna would feel about that including Sam herself since she was now there in an official capacity as the family liaison officer. It hadn't been announced yet but it would be irresponsible and unprofessional for Sam to conduct a personal relationship with the woman when she was tasked with acting as the go-between for the family and the police. Her heart ached at the thought of having to withdraw exactly the kind of support she wished to offer the Scot at the very time she needed it most.

"That's good, that's positive. At least it is a place to start looking for them," Lorna intoned. Although her words were buoyant, her tone was flat as though just going through the motions and scarcely allowing herself any kind of belief that she would see her daughter again.

"It is, Lorna, it's a good place to start," Grace assured the subdued CSE, locking eyes with Sam and indicating via a tilt of her head that she wished to speak with her in private.

"I'll put the kettle on, I'm sure we could all use another shot of caffeine." Sam rose without waiting for a reply, closely followed by Grace.

"Terry is over at the school still. There are suggestions that one of the teachers might be involved. One of the science teachers, Matthew Sheldon, left at the lunch break and didn't return. He told the head that it was due to personal reasons when asked why he suddenly needed time off, said he'd only be a couple of hours but that it was unavoidable. We're tracing his movements also in case he was headed in the same direction as Stuart. Sheldon had only been a teacher at the school for around a month, having been drafted in to cover for another teacher who was forced to leave to take care of a sick relative." Grace watched as Sam moved easily about the kitchen with an air of familiarity.

"What's the world coming to Grace? Is there nowhere kids are safe? I mean how many more background checks can we put people through before they're allowed within a hundred miles of children?" Sam vented her frustration as she ran a ragged hand through her shoulder-length ash blonde hair.

"For every safety check we put in place, there will always be someone determined enough to find a way around it, Sam, you know that. If at least some criminals weren't smart enough to keep one step of the law we'd soon be out of a job," Grace advised, knowing that the questions were rhetorical really but sensing that her senior officer was struggling with the implications of this case. "DCI Meadows asked you to be family liaison, didn't he?"

Sam nodded wearily, "yeah, not the first time I've had to do this for someone I consider to be a friend. I took lead on a case when a colleague from CID's daughter went missing after an open day visit to the station. Joanna was found safe and well on that occasion but her mother hadn't been involved in cracking open a national, if not international, paedophile ring."

"You need to approach this as DI Nixon, not as Sam, not as a mother or a friend. I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, Guv, but for Lorna's sake and for the best chance of bringing Katie home, we need the formidable DI Nixon to be firing on all cylinders." Grace approached the silent older woman as the kettle clicked off, water bubbling furiously in its plastic confines. "If you don't think you can do that, we need to know it now so that DI Manson can take the lead and someone else can be assigned as FLO."

"I understand what you're saying Grace and I appreciate your candour but I agree with DCI Meadows that I am best served acting as FLO to Lorna and her sister. Anything I can find out, I will and as soon as I know it, I'll be in contact with Neil or Jack to update them. I want Katie home, alive and as unharmed as we can bring her back, I'm not about to jeopardise that in any way." Sam busied herself pouring water into the cups, her hand stilling as Grace placed manicured fingers over her wrist.

"In that case, I'll head back to the station and see if there's any news from the school or from the technicians. Someone will call you as soon as we have any news but if Lorna or Moira think of anything in the meantime, there'll be plenty of us at the station available to take your call. None of us will rest until Katie's found, please convey that to Lorna."

* * *

"Katie's phone wasn't switched off immediately, presumably DS Turner didn't want to undermine his ruse about why he had picked Katie up and demanding she turn her phone off would have seemed suspicious. We triangulated her last known co-ordinates and coupled with the CCTV footage we've already got of Turner's car, we know that they were heading into this industrial park. There are a large number of units out there which are currently unoccupied – some recently vacated, others have been standing empty for longer. The good news is that there are also still a significant number of legitimate business running out of there too so we have no reason to believe that a little additional traffic would be deemed unusual. Surveillance can be mounted without necessarily tipping off anyone connected to Katie's disappearance, so long as Turner isn't on lookout. He knows too many of the officers we have available – if he spots anyone he recognises, he's going to know we've tracked him there." Mickey rubbed a hand tiredly across his face as he finished speaking, the long hours he had worked already that day beginning to tell on him.

"What about the teacher, Matthew Sheldon? Any trace of him?" Jack asked, pondering on how to get around the fact that a police presence might be detected too soon for them to discover anything of any value regarding Katie's whereabouts.

"Sheldon headed in a completely different direction when he left the school, heading northwest. We tried phoning his home number and his mobile number, both provided by the school, but so far we've been unable to get hold of him. His landline just rings out, no answerphone, and his mobile is either out of range of a transmitter or is switched off," Terry informed the gathered troops from his position perched on the edge of one of the desks.

"Get some uniformed officers over to his address. We have to assume at this point that regardless of which direction he was travelling in when he left the school he is involved in Katie Hart's disappearance in some way. The timing of his exit from the school is too coincidental not to be related. Which means tracing Sheldon becomes a priority. I'll speak to Barton Street, see if we can't borrow some of their officers for the surveillance at the industrial park. If necessary, I'll speak to Commander Kennedy herself and organise some assistance from outside this nick," Jack barked, striding out of the office with purpose.

* * *

"Lucy, hi it's Sam," the blonde greeted Jo's young lover as she answered the landline after two short rings.

"Hello Sam," Lucy responded, her tone brusque and cool, holding none of her usual welcome.

"Is everything ok? You sound…different." Sam instantly worried that there was an incident at Jo's house, her mind torturing her with images of masked men holding the pair hostage.

"I'm fine. What can I do for you?" The blonde noted that there was no offer to speak to Jo, no friendly chit-chat being exchanged. In a sudden flash of understanding, Sam realised what the problem was and that it had nothing to do with Katie's disappearance or the case.

"Jo told you about earlier." It was a statement, not a question, just an acknowledgement that Sam knew Lucy was aware of how close she and the brunette's lover had come to getting lost in the moment. "I'm so sorry Lucy, I really am and I hope in time that you will understand that you can trust me around Jo, that it wasn't what either of us wanted or intended to happen. But right now, I'm calling about something else, something important and I hope that you will please listen to me." Something about Sam's tone, the gravity in her voice, made Lucy put aside her own pride and acknowledge to Sam that she was indeed listening. "I'm at Lorna's, Katie was abducted from her school this morning. I know you and she have become friends over the last few weeks so I need you to promise me that you'll contact me if you hear anything from her?"

"Shit, God, how's Lorna coping? Is she ok? Do you know who has Katie? Where she is? Of course, I'll let you know if I hear anything from her." Instantly, the frost was thawed between them as Lucy realised that this was bigger than some near-miss between two women close to one another.

"I can't really say a lot about the investigation but there are some leads being followed up. We just need to cover all our bases and make sure any communication from or about Katie is passed on to the people who need to know, as soon as possible," Sam replied regretfully, fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on the cuff of her jacket hanging in Lorna's hall.

"I promise, if I hear anything, anything at all, I'll let you know straight away. I know it's a stretch that I will hear from her but thank you for letting me know what happened to Katie. I'll tell Jo when she's out of the bathroom, she went to take a bath." The mention of the brunette's name reignited some awkwardness between them as Lucy worried that Sam would be thinking of Jo lying naked in the bath while Sam felt renewed pangs of guilt about what they had almost allowed to happen earlier in the day.

"I'd better get back to Lorna and her sister. I'll speak to you soon."

* * *

"I'd better be getting home. Will you call me if you hear anything? It doesn't matter what time it is, I want to know as soon as you know anything." Moira rose from her seat beside Lorna as Sam stepped back into the lounge.

"Nonsense, you can stay here tonight. There's nothing you need to go home for is there? I'll be sleeping in Katie's room tonight, you can take my bed." Lorna flashed an apologetic glance at her lover realising that it would suggest she had no interest in Sam staying the night. She was partly relieved, partly scared by the casual understanding that met her in Sam's own gaze.

"Are you sure?" Moira asked, preferring the idea of remaining close to her sister but not wishing to impose herself upon the stoic woman if she would rather be alone.

"Of course, no point in us both being on our own in empty houses pacing the floors and worrying about each other as well as Katie." Turning fully towards Sam, Lorna invited her to stay too. "I can only offer you the sofa I'm afraid but I have spare duvet's and pillows, you're welcome to stay too if you wanted to."

"It's ok, I'll let you and Moira have some time together but my phone will be on and beside me all night if you hear anything or need anything, ok? Lorna, Jack's asked me to be your FLO – Family Liaison Officer," Sam explained the acronym when Moira frowned, "so I'll be your point of contact until Katie's… case is closed." Sam hesitated to say until the girl was found, not wishing to offer false promises.

"Can we talk about that before you go? I need to know… what that'll mean, what it'll entail… so I know what to expect. I'm not experienced of being at this end of an investigation," Lorna explained evasively, needing a few moments alone with Sam before the blonde woman disappeared into the night.

"I'm going to just run home and get some things for the morning," Moira mentioned, sensing that the two women needed a few moments alone to discuss this development. "Want me to pick anything up while I'm out? Shall I get some fish and chips or something?"

"I'm not hungry," Lorna responded automatically.

"Perhaps not but you still need to eat. I won't be long. I'll pick up enough food for three, you can stay a while longer can't you Sam?" Receiving a vague nod of acquiescence, the younger Scot gathered her coat and bag and headed out of the front door into the frigid night air.

As soon as the front door clicked shut, Lorna gravitated towards the short blonde still hovering uncertainly by the window. She reached for Sam, wanting to gather her in her arms and take some small comfort from having her near as well as offer her gratitude for the unwavering support she had shown. A frown marred her face as the detective evaded her embrace, hands held up in an invitation to cease her attempts. "Sam?"

"I can't… until the investigation is over… I've got to keep my distance… from you. Anything else would be a conflict of interest. I'm sorry Lorna, I'm truly, truly sorry but whilst I'm officially your FLO, we can't… be together." Sam's expression telegraphed her genuine regret, eyes reaching into Lorna's emerald gaze and imploring her to understand. The taller redhead wrapped her arms around herself as though to fend off a chill only she could feel.

"I see." There was ice dripping from her tone, steel in her eyes. "If you had second thoughts after last night Sam, you could just say so. Using my daughter's disappearance… hiding behind protocol is a little cowardly, don't you think? I'm a grown woman, if you don't want to sleep with me again, just tell me so but please do not patronise me with some bullshit story about conflict of interest. If I mean anything at all to you… if Katie, this relationship, us as a family mean anything to you, then you already have a huge conflict of interest and should have explained to DCI Meadows that you couldn't act as our FLO because you are part of the family you are supposed to be liaising with."

"Lorna don't, please… You need someone you can trust right now acting in your interests to pass information between yourselves and the officers investigating Katie's disappearance, I hoped that you would prefer that to be me than someone else…" Sam attempted to explain her motives for accepting the role but was cut off by a harsh bark of mirthless laughter.

"What I need right now is the woman I thought I was developing a relationship with to hold me in her arms and tell me that everything will be ok. Even though we both know there are no guarantees of it being that way, I need reassurance that I haven't lost my daughter for good. I don't need DI Nixon, I need you, the woman, Sam. If you can't do that for me, if you don't care about me enough to put your damn job aside, even if only for a few minutes, then I think you should leave and ask Jack to assign a new FLO."

"Lorna… I… I wish that I could… you have no idea how much I want to…"

"Just go." The painful defeat in Lorna's tone echoed off the walls of the living room, ricocheting into Sam's heart like daggers from all sides. Her feet were frozen in place, refusing to obey her mental commands – not that they would have known which way to go as the internal battle raged within her; half of her screaming to do as Lorna asked while the other half pleaded with her to take the Scot into her arms and hold her close. "I said GET OUT!" The hysterical command broke through Sam's resolve.

"No," she replied firmly, taking confident steps towards where her lover had retreated.

"Leave… go do your damn job and leave me alone." The words were spat out harshly but Lorna's voice betrayed her distress, cracking at the end of her request. She turned away from the advancing blonde, still hugging herself as she stared into the fire.

"I can't," Sam confessed, realising that the battle had been lost before it had even begun. Witnessing Lorna's distress, seeing her tearing herself apart this way, there was no way that Sam could remain professional, detached. She realised how misguided she had been in thinking she could step back from her feelings. The woman she was growing to love deeply was hurting which in turn caused a deep burning ache in her own heart. She could no sooner walk away than she could stop breathing. Being there for Lorna, being with her in her hour of need, was as much a physical necessity for her now as the oxygen which was drawn in with every breath. She understood in that moment, with startling clarity, that there was no other place in the world that she _could_ be. To walk away now would mean the end of the relationship between herself and Lorna and along with that end, a piece of Sam's soul would also die. Deciding to risk the physical and emotional rejection she feared would come, Sam wound her arms around Lorna's waist, hugging her from behind and resting her forehead between the taller woman's shoulder blades.

"Don't, please don't, not unless you intend to stay…" Lorna whispered brokenly, her body vibrating with the coiled tension of her grief.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll call Jack, ask him to assign another FLO, I'll see if he can get Grace to do it. You're right, I should be here with you. I'm sorry sweetheart I just got so caught up in wanting to be the one to bring Katie back to you that I lost track of what that would mean me doing to you. I was stupid to think that I could separate the case from my feelings for you," Sam intoned into Lorna's narrow back, feeling the sobs which wracked her body moments before the sounds of her cries escaped into the quiet room. She turned the pliant Scot in her arms, pulling her in as close as she could and murmuring all manner of reassurances, regardless of the fact she had none to offer for certain. It mattered little, all Lorna was aware of was the comfort of the embrace and the knowledge that she wouldn't be facing the horrors of her daughter's disappearance entirely alone.


	35. Chapter 35

**_Thank you for the lovely reviews, you people really do brighten my days :) Work's starting to go a bit crazy again (financial year end approaching coupled with staff being laid off) but I've still a few chapters already written and almost ready to post so hopefully I'll be able to keep up the current trend of one chapter per week and keep on top of everything!_**

**_As always, I own nothing - less and less every day in fact so you can try and sue me all you like if you really do object to me borrowing your toys but unless you're willing to take payment in story ideas, I'm afraid you'll be sorely disappointed!_**

**_Anyway, on with the story..._**

* * *

"Sam phoned while you were in the bathroom," Lucy mentioned in faux-casual tone as Jo sat on the end of the bed drying her hair in her makeshift pyjamas of loose-fitting t-shirt and jogging trousers.

"Oh?" Jo worried what that cryptic statement meant, hoping that there hadn't been fireworks between the two women.

"Uh-huh, she knows I know about earlier, she figured you'd told me. She apologised, promised me neither of you meant it to happen…" Lucy fidgeted with the bedspread next to where she was sitting, close to the head of the bed.

"We didn't," Jo confirmed, determinedly. Pausing a moment while she ran the brush through her partially dry hair, before she asked, "so what was she phoning for?"

"Lorna's daughter, Katie, is missing. She was taken out of school earlier today. I got to know her while you were in hospital, when we were all round at Sam's. Sam wants me to let her know if I hear from Katie at all. We've been texting quite a bit over the last few weeks." A frown had settled deeply across the young brunette's forehead, illustrating her worry over the child's welfare.

"God babe, I'm sorry, that's awful. Lorna must be worried sick. I wonder if there's anything I can do, if the doctor would sign me off as fit to work a few hours a day so I can man a phone at the station or something until she's found." Jo's mind reeled with the possibilities of what might have befallen the CSE's daughter and the options she had available to her.

"Sweetheart, you're not strong enough to do that, not at the minute and you've got more treatments coming up. I appreciate you want to help but your priority has to be getting yourself better." Lucy implored her lover to be reasonable.

"How hard is it to answer a few phone calls? To look things up on a computer? I'm not saying I'd do full shifts, just a few hours here and there, anything I could to help out. It's not a good time to be shorthanded, not with them already losing Heaton and Turner. I'll call the doctor and Jack in the morning, see what I can sort out." Lucy knew there would be no arguing with the detective, not now that she had got the idea into her head. She would just have to hope that both the doctor and her boss would refuse to entertain the notion thereby ending such nonsensical notions.

* * *

"Sorry, that took longer than I anticipated, the queue in the chippy was horrendous. Seems everyone is feeling too lazy to cook their own meal this evening. I got us a couple of large portions of chips but they didn't have any fresh fish ready so I opted for two sausage and a meat and potato pie. Who wants what?" Moira bustled about in the kitchen, observed by her sister and the blonde detective. It had not escaped her attention that Lorna's eyes were distinctly redder and more puffy than when she had left and she could only hope that they had not received bad news in her absence.

"I'm not bothered, I'm not hungry anyway," Lorna murmured tiredly, turning away and making to leave the kitchen, stopping only when Sam circled her arms around her already skinny waist.

"You need to eat. Katie will need you to be strong and healthy when she gets home," Sam instructed, manoeuvring the Scot into a nearby chair and opting to remain standing behind her, hands gently resting on her shoulders.

"How about you Sam, what would you prefer?" Moira opted to feign ignorance to the casual physical intimacy she was witnessing, understanding that now was not the time to be grilling her sister about the perplexing nature of her relationship with their blonde visitor. Her earlier suspicions had quieted when the two women had arrived back at the house, acting cordially towards one another but not overly friendly. There seemed to have been a breach in the dam since her temporary departure however, with the two women now gravitating towards one another at every opportunity.

"I'm happy with sausage, thanks. Shall I stick the kettle on?" Sam replied, absentmindedly squeezing Lorna's shoulders as she spoke.

"I'll just have a glass of water with mine. What would you like to drink, Lorna?" Moira asked her silent sister, fixing her with a worried stare.

"I don't want food, I don't want a drink, I don't want anything except my daughter back." The redhead bolted from the kitchen fleeing up the stairs as her sister and lover watched her go, each of their faces telegraphing their deep concern. Moira went to go after her but was stopped by a soft plea from Sam to give her a little time to herself. Acknowledging that it probably was for the best, Moira turned her attention back to the food, helping herself to the other sausage figuring that the pie would be easier to reheat later if they could persuade Lorna to eat. They ate in silence, both picking at their food and ingesting very little but feeling the need to at least get something inside of themselves. There was an awkward tension in the air, neither knowing what to say to the other or how to make the situation any more bearable.

After they had finished with their food, it was Moira who opted to break the heavy silence. "My sister seems to think a lot of you," she began.

"I think a lot of her too, she's a remarkable woman and a wonderful mother," Sam replied steadily.

"She is. She's also been alone for a long, long time with just her daughter for company. She's never really sought anyone else's companionship since James was killed, preferred to keep herself to herself and concentrate on raising Katie the best she can." Moira rose from her seat, collecting the plates as she went and turning to the sink, running the water until it became warm enough. "There've been so many times I wished she would find someone again, that I prayed she would know that kind of love and happiness in her life again and then recently I noticed a change in her. She smiled more, there was a light-hearted, carefree air about her and she seemed to be enjoying living again rather than just existing day to day for her daughter's sake." Sam shifted a little uncomfortably, wondering where this was going, unable to get a clear reading from the younger version of Lorna who remained with her back to the detective. "I want her to be happy," Moira supplied, an unspoken 'but' in her voice.

"So do I," Sam assured her. "More than anything, I want her to be happy."

"But what you and she are doing cannot lead to happiness. Lorna isn't like that." Moira's tone at the end of her statement was laced with disgust.

"What exactly is it that you think we're doing?" Sam decided to play coy, to force the other woman to state outright her objections.

"Don't take me for a fool. A friend would not hold my sister the way you did when she tried to leave the kitchen. In fact, no friend of mine would drop everything and come running to my side if someone I cared for went missing," Moira retorted. "You seem like a nice person but my sister needs to find herself a new man to build a life with. She doesn't need you turning her head from the path of what is right and proper."

"Is that so? Well I'm sorry you feel that way about your own friends, perhaps that says more about your relationship with them than it says about whatever relationship there is between Lorna and myself. Your sister is a grown woman who is perfectly capable of making her own decisions about who she wishes to share her life with. I'm sorry if you don't agree with her choices but they are her choices to make." Sam's diplomacy was straining to breaking point, her rational mind reminding her that the woman before her was acting out of concern and was already stressed due to the abduction of her niece – not the ideal circumstances under which to realise her sister had begun a relationship with another woman. "I'm going to go and check on Lorna." Sam exited the kitchen before her resolve snapped, leaving Moira with no choice but to let her go. She climbed the stairs on stealthy feet, padding along the hallway silently as her sock-clad feet sank into the plush pile of the burgundy carpet. Her steps carried her towards the younger Hart woman's room, instinctively knowing that she would find Lorna there, understanding the need to feel close to her daughter any way she could. Hovering in the doorway without alerting the Scot to her presence, Sam watched the distraught redhead sitting on the edge of Katie's bed, a photo frame cradled reverently between shaking hands, silent tears coursing over her smooth, ruddy cheeks. Sam hurried further into the room, wrapping her arms around her lover's shoulders and pulling her bodily towards her. Lorna sank into the embrace, unwilling to relinquish her hold on the photograph but leaning into the other woman and accepting the physical comfort.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you and Moira. I know you're just trying to look out for me." Lorna's voice was deep and throaty from her grief.

"Ssshhh sweetheart, you've nothing to apologise for. I couldn't eat or drink anything for nearly three days when Abigail was taken from me, the mere thought of it made me want to be sick." Lorna's head rose, her quizzical expression inviting Sam to explain further. "Of course, you weren't at Sun Hill when Hugh Wallis happened, were you? He was consulting on a case, a psychologist offering insight into the likely profile of a guy we were hunting at the time. He got under my skin and things turned sour. He manipulated and drugged Abi, turned her against me – not that she needed any much persuading back then. She was so young, so angry and so naive, an ideal target for his mind games. Jared, Abi's son, is Hugh's child. For the longest time, I couldn't convince anyone that there was a problem, they simply thought that I was having a hard time accepting Abi was growing up and making her own choices. Hugh was so suave and personable whenever anyone else was around, until his mask began to slip and someone finally believed I wasn't the one with a vendetta. I lost months of Abi's life because of that, months where she was convinced she hated me, months I can never regain. There are still nights when I wake up in a cold sweat, remembering it as though it happened just yesterday and I have to call Abi the following day just to remind myself that we're ok, we're close, she's doing fine. I was lucky, I got my girl back, and I am going to cling on to every last shred of hope, turn over every single piece of evidence we can find and do everything within my power to try and bring Katie back to you too." Sam sunk onto the bed beside her lover as she finished regaling Lorna with her tale, clearly remembering the stabbing pain in her heart that had come first with Abigail's disappearance and then again with her rejection. From her new position, Sam could see the photo in the frame Lorna was holding so delicately; mother and daughter captured in a joyously spontaneous moment of mirth, matching emerald eyes twinkling at one another, mouths beaming in forever fixed expressions of delight.

"I can't feel her any more, I can't feel her, in here. I'm scared that means she's gone… for good, that the only way I'll see her again is if her body is found." Lorna sank into the supple body beside her, her own strength sapped.

"You can't think like that honey. Fear and adrenaline are making you feel that way at the moment, don't let that convince you into thinking the worst. There are leads, there is evidence for the police to follow and none of it has even come close to suggesting that Katie came to any physical harm during her abduction." Sam wanted to spark some kindling of hope in the redhead, knowing the wait for news was bleak enough without presuming there was no chance of seeing that smile again or hearing the laughter captured for posterity in the picture she lovingly held. Changing tack, Sam opted to try something she hoped would make Katie appear more alive again to her mother. "Tell me about this picture; where was it taken? What made you both so happy in that moment?"

Looking down at the object in her lap, Lorna appeared to have forgotten she was holding it. Studying it for a few moments, her features softened as the memories from that day were pulled from the dark recesses of her mind. "Last year, Katie and I went up to Scotland, to an area near where I grew up. I still have some family up there so we stayed with them. Her cousin, Justin, took this photo on the beach one morning when Katie had insisted we get up in time to watch sunrise over the water. It was a beautiful morning, a little on the chilly side but we dressed for the weather and the three of us headed off to the beach. We walked to a nice spot and sat on the blankets we'd taken with us. I'd made up a flask of coffee before we left the house, Katie joked that I wouldn't stay awake to see sunrise without the caffeine so I decided to prove her wrong, keeping the coffee until after the sun was up. We all sat, huddled up together under the blankets, keeping one another warm and I fell asleep, just as Katie had predicted, shortly before dawn began to break. The rotten little minx decided it would be funny to wake me up by draping seaweed over my face. I woke up with such a start, screaming and yelping, thinking I was being attacked by some sort of creature which of course highly amused my daughter and her cousin. Justin snapped this just after I finished tickling Katie and vowing to get my revenge on her. It was a special morning anyway, it would have been mine and James' wedding anniversary, but it marked the start of the most incredible day. We walked further along the beach, Justin is a keen photographer and wanted to make the most of the early morning sunlight. In a bay about a mile from the house, we were lucky enough to see a pod of porpoises swimming, silhouetted against the orange horizon. It was a magical experience, we watched them for almost half an hour before they disappeared." Lorna's face was illuminated by a soft smile, lost in the memories of that day. "We spent the whole day together, the three of us, just wandering along beaches and coastal path's watching the world go by, playing about for Justin and his camera. It was so simple, so… just so natural and unplanned. It was different from how we usually spend holidays – normally it was a frenetic dash from one must see place to another, shopping centres, water parks, wildlife centres and zoos. To just have a day together, outdoors, enjoying the wonders of nature and each other's company, it made a really nice change. We both chose that as our favourite memory from the trip when we were chatting about it on the drive home. Katie's had this photo on her bedside table since the week after we got back. She said it reminds her of what really matters every day when she wakes up and sees it." Her improved mood shattered as the crushing despair at her daughter's loss crowded back in. Face crumpling as fresh tears raced over ruddy cheeks, Lorna twisted into Sam, burying her head in the crook of the blonde detective's neck. "She just an innocent. She knows so little of the real world. She's got to be so scared, so confused. She won't understand why this is happening to her."

Even though the words were still bleak and her blouse was currently being soaked by new tears, Sam was relieved to hear that Lorna had begun to refer to Katie as being a hostage once more rather than blindly accepting that she was already dead. "I know sweetheart, I know. We'll make sure that she gets whatever support and help she needs when she comes home." Sam wrapped her arms tightly around her lover, one hand weaving into the thick fiery locks, cradling Lorna's head to her body. She instinctively dropped a series of gentle kisses onto the crown of her head, wondering how she could have been so stupid, so arrogant to think she could have denied the distraught woman this kind of comfort.

"I hope to God we get that chance, Sam, I really hope to God we get that chance." Both women lapsed into mournful silence, resting against one another for long moments, neither feeling the need to move away, to speak, to do anything more than simply co-exist.

* * *

Jo slipped beneath the covers of her bed, turning onto her side and facing the wall, away from where her lover would shortly join her. Tears trickled over her cheeks in silent testament to her torment. Guilt still gnawed at her from earlier, from what she had almost allowed to happen between herself and Sam but that was only a small part of her current despair. Lucy had fled the room shortly after telling her about Katie's abduction with an hurried request for some time alone. Jo had remained in their bedroom, absentmindedly continuing to dry her hair. And that was when she had noticed it: hairs wrapped around the brush she was using, too many, too great a quantity to be normal shedding. She had thought herself to be prepared, naively thought that she couldn't possibly feel any worse about herself than she did after her surgery. In one single moment, her illusions were shattered. She curled herself into the foetal position, body language screaming to be left alone loudly enough that even a deaf person would be able to hear the message. How could anyone love her now? Not only was she less than a whole woman, she would also soon be bald. This was it, this was the beginning of the end of the best relationship she had known throughout her adult life. There was no was that Lucy would stay, not now, not with this on top of everything else. Why would she? Why would she stay with a grotesque imitation of a woman when she could have any real, full-bodied woman? She heard the bathroom door opening, quiet footsteps padding across the bedroom and a soft sigh as the young woman approached the bed containing her huddled lover. A cool draught rippled across her back as the covers were lifted, followed by the bed dipping as Lucy climbed in beside her. Jo had done what she could to hide the evidence of the beginnings of her hair loss, not wanting to have to face the confrontation when she was already feeling so raw. She could only hope that Lucy opted to maintain her distance, to not suddenly want to reach out for her and insist on holding Jo close.

"You feeling ok, baby?" The soft concern in her lover's voice pierced Jo like a thousand knives, only adding to her agony, knowing that if she admitted the truth it would be ripped from her along with her heart.

"Just tired," Jo mumbled into her pillow, attempting valiantly to mask the sound of tears in her own voice.

"We ok?" A colour of uncertainty this time accompanied the raven-haired woman's question.

"Course," came the monosyllabic answer. Lucy knew it was a lie just like Jo knew she had not fooled her lover for a moment.

With a defeated sigh, the younger woman whispered, "sleep well then sweetheart." Rolling onto her side facing away from Jo, she murmured a final, "I love you," as a tear trickled over her own cheek. Never before had she realised that a person could feel so alone in the company of another.

* * *

"Will you humour me, please, and just try to eat something? I'm not expecting you to finish a three course meal or anything, just a slice of toast or a sandwich. Something, anything so that I don't have to worry about you collapsing in a heap," Sam intoned, still holding Lorna close.

Shaking her head sadly, Lorna confessed, "there's no point, I'd only bring it back up again a few minutes later. My stomach's churning too much to keep anything down. I'll be fine Sam, honestly, it's not like I'm about to waste away is it?"

"No, of course it's not. I mean look at you, you have so much spare flesh on you. Lorna, you're bordering on skinny as it is, I've already noticed the weight you've dropped since this whole investigation began. The truth is, you can't afford to drop any more pounds, honey. Please, at least promise me that you'll eat something in the morning? It doesn't matter if it only stays down half an hour, at least you'll be getting some nutrients and sustenance from it. Katie is going to need her mum when she comes home, what use will you be if you can't even find the strength to lift your arms and give her a hug?" Sam attempted to appeal to Lorna's naturally nurturing instincts, her fiercely protective maternal nature in the hopes of instilling some sense into her lover.

"I can't, Sam. I'm sorry, I just can't." Knowing that she would only meet further resistance and risk destroying Lorna's willingness to talk to her if she continued to push the issue, Sam backed off, conceding defeat for the moment and giving herself time to regroup and formulate a new plan of action.

"Ok love, I understand. How about you lie down for a while and try to get some sleep?" Thankfully, Lorna acquiesced numbly to that request, allowing herself to be manoeuvred deftly beneath the narrow single duvet. Sam tucked the covers around the slender redhead as best she could, caressing her cheek and running a hand soothingly through Lorna's hair in an attempt to lull her to sleep. Emerald eyes fluttered shut, sluggishly trying to open again until Sam cooed messages of support and encouragement. Lorna's eyelids drooped for a final time, settling heavily against their lower counterparts, breathing beginning to even out and deepen, signalling that sleep was well on its way to claiming her. Sam remained in her position, continuing her caresses, her soft, tender phrases for a further ten minutes until she was entirely convinced that her lover was asleep and would remain so. Rising on stiff legs, she turned towards the door ready to make her exit when she spied that they had had a silent observer. Moira indicated that Sam should follow her, leading her back down the stairs and shooing her through into the lounge before bringing a bottle of wine and two glasses through from the kitchen. Pouring each of them a glass of the ruby red liquid, Moira perched on the armchair beneath the window in which Sam herself had sat earlier that evening.

"I'm sorry… for what I said before. I… it's a little… difficult for me… to set aside everything I believe in." Moira held up a hand forestalling the interruption she could see was about to come, "please let me just get this out there before I lose my nerve." After receiving a tiny nod, the younger sister continued, "I came up to see how Lorna was doing. I heard you begging her to eat, I heard the genuine care and love you have for my sister in your words, in your voice. I saw it in the way you touched her, held her, let her draw on your strength. My heart and my head may be at war over this for quite some time and I hope you'll forgive me if there are occasions when I respond automatically to something between you. What I'm trying to say is, please take care of my big sister. Love her, be there for her and try not to hurt her or let her down because I can see that no matter what my Church tells me, this is what God wants for her. He would never show her this kind of love only to condemn her for opening her heart to it, to you."

"Thank you, that means a lot to me and I'm sure it will to Lorna as well. This, us… it's all so very new to us both, neither of us is sure of what we're doing. But I am sure about how much I care for your sister, how much I want to be the one to help her find happiness in every moment. I meant what I said before, she is a truly remarkable lady and whilst I don't share your faith, I do feel incredibly blessed that she is choosing to share her life with me." Sam sipped her wine, eyes wistful and tinged with regret at the situation as a whole. She feared that it would all prove to be too much for their burgeoning relationship, that the stresses and strains of the investigation, their work, Katie's disappearance and to a certain extent Jo's cancer would all conspire against them, throwing too many hurdles in their path.

As though she was able to read Sam's mind, Moira murmured, "the path to happiness is fraught with dangers and toils which, though at times may seem insurmountable, only go to prove how worthy you are of reaching that happiness."

"I can only hope I'm worthy," Sam replied softly with a slight frown.

"You must be. Lorna doesn't give her heart to anyone unless she is one hundred percent sure the recipient is worthy." Their quiet contemplation was interrupted by the loud, jarring sound of the landline ringing. A quick glance at the clock caused Sam's heart to hammer in her chest. Nobody rang that close to midnight with good news.


	36. Chapter 36

**_Another week has gone whizzing by so here it is, another chapter for you all to (hopefully) enjoy! Thanks as always for your very kind reviews, glad you're happy with the depth and content. It's good to know if it's hitting the right notes or simply dragging so I really do appreciate the comments from you all :)_**

**_Feel free to gloss over this bit, it's the bit where I profess I own zip, zilch, nada, not a bean except for the plot herein. So without further ado, on with the story..._**

* * *

Moira snatched up the receiver, filled with a sense of dread and heart hammering to get out of her chest. "Hello?"

"You want to see your daughter again, shut the investigation into the kiddie porn ring down. If you don't, you can expect your darling girl to become the next big star." The call was ended abruptly, giving little hope of getting a trace on the origin, at least not swiftly.

"What is it? Who was it?" Sam asked anxiously, knowing that it was to do with the case from Moira's ashen expression. Footsteps thundering down the stairs added a sense of urgency to their discourse, neither woman wishing Lorna to hear details she didn't need to know, details which would only add to her distress her sister knew.

"They want the child porn investigation shut down or Katie will be their next star, that's what he said. At least I think it was a he, his voice sounded strange, almost mechanical." Sam surmised that whoever the caller was had probably had the foresight to use a voice changer to prevent recognition – a suggestion which led her to suspect it had been Stuart on the other end of the line. Unless they were missing something, no one else should have immediate cause for concern about being recognised on the telephone.

"Katie? Was that Katie? Who has her? Where is she? What do they want?" Lorna burst through the door, breathing ragged, body quaking with anxiety. Both Moira and Sam dived to catch her, fearful that her legs wouldn't hold under the weight of her stress. They guided her into the nearest seat, Moira retreating to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water for her sister while Sam perched on the chair arm, staying close to her lover.

"We don't know sweetheart. Whoever it was asked that the investigation be dropped." Sam knew she needn't elaborate as to which investigation they were referring.

"Or what? What did they say would happen to Katie?" Lorna twisted sideways until she was almost completely facing the woman balanced on the chair arm beside her, face contorted into a mask of torment.

"You know the drill with these things as well as I do Lorna. They make demands, they make threats to scare you into doing as they tell you but rarely do they ever follow through on those threats. Trust me to have it in hand and spare yourself the torture of having those images scrolling through your head. I will put your mind at least a little at ease, I hope, if I tell you that at no time did they mention they were prepared to take her life. She's worth more to them alive, as a bargaining tool, than she would be if they killed her. The longer they have her and she stays alive, the better our chances are of bringing her home in one piece." Sam knew that technically there was no basis for her optimism, that the longer Katie was in the company of her captors, the slimmer her chances of survival were. Moira returned, wordlessly handing the full glass of water to her sister and watching as Sam wrapped her own hands around Lorna's to keep the liquid from spilling over as the redhead shook violently. "I'm going to contact Jack and let him know about the phone call so they can try and trace it, get some idea of where it came from. I'll speak to him about replacing me as FLO while I'm talking to him as well," Sam informed them quietly.

"Are you not planning on sticking around then?" Moira's words were bitten off harshly, her protective instincts kicking into high gear as she assumed Sam was retreating and withdrawing her support.

"On the contrary, I'm too personally involved to act as FLO on this case. Any actions on my part would be those of a concerned partner, not of a police officer. I want to be here… no I _need_ to be with Lorna as a friend and a… lover." Sam struggled with her definition of what she was to Lorna, not wanting to rub their relationship in Moira's face but needing to reassure her that she had no intention of going anywhere. Both women heard Lorna's intake of breath at the open revelation of the nature of the relationship between herself and Sam.

"It's old news Lorna. Honestly, do you think I live under a rock? How can I not have noticed how happy you've been the last month or so? I'd have to be blind or stupid, or possibly both. As I told Sam earlier, it may take me time to fully adjust to you being… with another woman, but I want you to be happy and if Sam is the one who makes you happy, I can't deny you that." Turning to Sam, Moira apologised for her assumption. "That was uncalled for and unnecessary, I'm sorry."

"It's ok, if Lorna and I hadn't talked earlier when you nipped home, you would have been justified in your accusation. I thought that I could just be FLO, that I could set aside my own personal feelings for Lorna and Katie and just solely be DI Nixon. I lost sight of what Lorna might actually need from me but thankfully she set me right on that and I have no intention of repeating the same mistake again. Arrogance and misguided nobility won't help us bring Katie home." With a final squeeze of Lorna's hand, Sam rose and padded out into the hallway to speak to her superior officer regarding the latest developments in the case.

"You never do things by halves do you, bairn?" Moira murmured after Sam had left.

"It wasn't anything either of us expected or intended to happen," Lorna informed her sister warily. "She's a good person, Mor, please don't give her too hard a time just because she's a woman."

"I promise that I will always try to see beyond that, Lorna. It may take a while to see which wins this battle, my head or my heart but I am trying to keep an open mind and consider the evidence in front of me. I can see how much she cares for you, hell I wish Robert would look at me once in a while the way Sam looks at you. I can't just set aside years of faith and belief in the Church's teachings though Lorna, please tell me you understand that?"

"Of course I understand, I do. Believe me, I'm still trying to get my head around everything too and I know Sam is as well." Lorna ran a hand tiredly through her hair, adrenaline depleted leaving her sinking under the weight of crushing fatigue. Shakily, she steered the still half-full glass of water towards a nearby table, Moira diving forward to assist her as her sister crumpled forwards, body wracking with fresh sobs.

* * *

Jo climbed out from beneath the cosy cocoon of the duvet, moving stealthily to avoid waking her slumbering lover. She had lain awake for the entire hour and a half since Lucy had joined her, sleep evading her no matter how tired her eyes were. Her brain refused to shut down or even slow slightly, thoughts random and dark spiralling through her mind, tormenting her and creating a tight, twisting sensation in her gut until she was no longer able to lie still. Not wanting to disturb Lucy, not in any state of mind to be facing an inquisition into the causes of her insomnia, Jo had finally opted to relocate, at least temporarily. She pulled a baggy, tattered old sweatshirt over her head in an attempt to stave off the worst of the night's chill and made her way to the top of the stairs. Stepping lightly, deliberately avoiding the more creaky of the floorboards, the detective slunk into the kitchen without turning on a single light. Before illuminating the kitchen, she closed the door over to prevent noise or light from escaping into the hallway, highly conscious of how any slight disturbance might bring undesired attention. Absentmindedly filling the kettle with fresh water and flipping it on to boil, Jo caught sight of her stark reflection in the naked kitchen window. She stared at herself for long moments before pulling her hair back from her face and screwing it up into a ball, trying to envisage what she would look like once it had all gone. The creature staring back at her was an alien, unrecognisable to her as her own image being reflected back at her. It taunted her, seeming to leer at her grotesquely as images of Lucy fleeing in terror sped through her mind. Resolving that she would rather get it over and done with sooner rather than allowing it to drag out for who knows how long it would take for all her hair to naturally fall out, the stricken brunette crossed the galley kitchen in short strides, yanking open a drawer and rifling through the implements it contained until she found what she was looking for. The scissors' sharp blades gleamed menacingly in the harsh fluorescent light of the room. Ignoring the kettle as it clicked off, Jo set the scissors down on the table, plonking herself into a seat in front of them, staring at them pensively as she attempted to work up the courage to go through with hacking her hair off.

* * *

"Thanks, Jack, I'll let Lorna know," Sam advised her boss gratefully, referring to his decision to monitor her phone in case there were further phone calls. "While I've got you, I need you to assign a new FLO for Lorna, preferably Grace if it can be managed. I can't do it, I'm sorry, I should have said no when you first asked me to do it."

"Why not, Sam? What's the problem? We're shorthanded as it is, freeing up someone else might not be possible." Jack groaned into his handset, tired mind already considering and dismissing candidates.

"Because it would be a gross conflict of interest. Sir, my…relationship with Lorna Hart is…" Sam began, trying to explain her reticence to her supervisor, but was cut off by Jack's gruff retort.

"…none of my business, Sam. If you tell me that it would be a conflict of interest, that's sufficient reason to make the change happen. I know you wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I'll need you back at the station first thing though in that case, we'll need you working the other active cases so I can free up other officers to work Katie's disappearance."

"Of course, I'll be there by 7am," Sam replied with relief, glad the conversation had gone so well.

"Expect to be busy, I'll be pulling pretty much everybody else off their cases so your workload has just gone through the roof," Jack informed her, telling his officer in roundabout terms that she shouldn't expect to see much in the way of a social life for the duration of the intensive stage of the investigation. Her heart panged unexpectedly at the realisation that it would almost undoubtedly mean that she would have to be content with offering the majority of her moral support to Lorna from the end of a telephone, a thought which distressed her but she knew she had to accept as collateral for her honesty.

"Yes Guv," she murmured quietly before rounding off the call and taking a moment to steady herself in readiness to face the family and any questions they had. Re-entering the lounge, Sam swivelled her head around the room in an attempt to locate the women she had left in there. Moira had moved Lorna to the sofa and sat with the older redhead's head lying in her lap, combing her fingers through the luxuriant locks and softly humming a soothing melody. Lorna's eyes were closed, a tiny frown still marring her forehead even in repose but her steady breathing did suggest that she was at the very least dozing lightly.

"Everything ok with your boss?" Moira asked in a whisper, breaking off from her lullaby but continuing her tender caresses so as not to disturb her slumbering sister.

Sam nodded, offering a small smile. "They're going to monitor incoming calls on this line from now on, in case they phone back again and the technicians are already working to try and trace the last call's origins," she explained quietly, creeping a little closer, aiming for the chair beneath the window.

"No problem with them getting another liaison officer? That's not going to get you into any bother is it?" Moira was concerned with how subdued Sam seemed, fearing that all had not gone as well as the blonde was wanting her to believe.

"Not really no. Jack just warned me to expect to be practically living at the station until the investigation finishes… or is scaled back," Sam admitted in resigned tones. "I'll be handling pretty much every other active case so that all available manpower can be poured into finding Katie and the people responsible for taking her." Moira understood the battle raging within Sam. On the one hand, Sam wanted nothing more than to be beside the woman she obviously cared for deeply so that she could offer support and comfort whenever it was needed but on the other hand she also wanted to make sure as many officers as possible were available to chase up leads and evidence in order to bring Katie home at the earliest opportunity.

"I'll call my boss in the morning, explain the situation to him and take as much time off as he'll give me. I can be here for Lorna while you're at work. I presume you'll be coming home to sleep at some point each day, why not for the duration of the investigation base yourself here so you can at least see Lorna for a short while each day?" Moira suggested reasonably.

"I'd have to see what Lorna thought about that, I don't want to presume she'd want that…" Sam started, only to be interrupted by a scratchy, sleep-riddled voice.

"I do, I do want that. I understand that you can't take off from work indefinitely just so you can sit in the house holding my hand but I would appreciate you being here for at least some of whatever time they can spare you from the station for. I understand if you would prefer to sleep at home though, in your own bed." Lorna went to sit up, managing it after some assistance from Moira, her gaze locked with Sam's, green eyes imploring her partner to be honest with her, even if she thought it was not what Lorna wanted to hear.

"I want to be here, with you, beside you… but for now, I'll just agree to play it by ear. If I don't leave the station until late, I'm not going to disturb you by coming over here at all hours of the night. If I leave at a reasonable hour, then of course I will be here," Sam informed the sisters who were both looking at her intently.

"You're welcome here no matter what time you leave work. I have a spare key you can use so you'll be able to come and go as you need to. Please Sam, say you'll spend the nights here? It's not like you'll be disturbing my sleep or anything even if you roll in at three in the morning – I won't be sleeping worth a damn anyway." Lorna rose from her seat on the couch, approaching her lover and wrapping her up in a swift, tight embrace, whispering in her ear, "I need your arms around me or I don't believe she's coming back. You're the only one who gives me hope." A lump formed in Sam's throat, constricting her airway as she fought back the tears which rose unbidden at the heartfelt confession.

"If you're sure you can put up with me appearing at completely antisocial times then there's nowhere else I could be," Sam finally managed to admit, pulling back from the hug far enough to see into Lorna's eyes but remaining within the comfortable circle of her arms. They gazed at one another for a quiet moment, each assessing the other's level of comfort with the arrangement, oblivious to the other occupant of the room.

"Good, well now that's settled, if you ladies will excuse me, I'm going to lie down for a while," Moira broke into their reverie, beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with the intimacy of the moment she was witnessing.

"I'll change the bed for you and fetch you clean towels." Lorna moved to scurry towards the door, heading for the stairs until her sister's voice harshly called her back.

"You'll do no such thing. The bed will be fine as it is and I know where to find towels myself." Moira winked at Sam as she ducked out of the room, calling goodnight over her shoulder as she went. Sam couldn't help but be grateful that they weren't sleeping at her place that night – she doubted she could have prevented herself from insisting she change her own sheets before anyone else slept in them, knowing what herself and Lorna had done amidst them the previous night.

"How about you? Think you might be able to get some sleep?" Sam asked, wrapping her arms back around her lover and sinking back into Lorna's hold, gazing up at her questioningly.

"I doubt it but I'll bring you bedding and stuff so you can get your head down for a while. I know you need to rest, you've got an early start in the morning." Lorna once again attempted to extricate herself from the room.

"Lorna, sweetheart, just tell me where the stuff is and I'll sort myself out later but that's not why I was asking. I wasn't trying to hint that I wanted you to leave me alone. What do you want to do? What can I do to help you quiet your mind enough to maybe at least rest a while?" Sam pulled her partner to sit beside her on the sofa, clasping their hands together tightly and resting them on her knees.

"I don't know, Sam. I don't know what to do, what I'm doing, right now. I close my eyes and I see her face crying out for me to help her; I hear her screaming, asking me why I'm not there to save her, why I let this happen. I don't even feel like I can cry any more, I've no more tears to shed." Lorna leant back, head lolling against the cushions of the couch.

"You're exhausted honey, emotionally and physically. I know you want to spend the night in Katie's room and I fully understand that but will you lie with me here for a while? If I grab us a quilt to keep the chill off, will you just rest here in my arms for a bit and let me try to give you some of that hope you mentioned earlier? I want to do that for you, I want to feel like I'm actually helping you in some tiny way." Sam let go of one of Lorna's hands, allowing it to drop into a more natural position beside the reclining redhead, as she reached up with her free hand and cupped the weary woman's cheek.

"I'd like that but I don't want you to be driving tired in the morning. You need to sleep." Lorna leant into the casual caress Sam offered, eyes fluttering shut involuntarily. Breathily, she assured the blonde, "never worry that you're not helping just by being here, by offering your support and your affection. Please don't ever underestimate how much this means to me, how much you mean to me."

"It's not just affection, Lorna, it's love. I know it's early and we've not really discussed how we feel to that extent but I know now without a shadow of a doubt that I love you." Sam held her breath in the face of her confession, hoping that the other woman wouldn't feel too pressured to accept it for what it was.

"I love you too, Sam," Lorna affirmed confidently. "Amazing how life has a way of filtering out the crap and making you focus on what's important, isn't it?"

"It sure is, although I'm not too keen on the methods used to bring me to that realisation," Sam quipped sombrely.

"Me either, I'll be sure to have a word with the Boss when I finally meet him and kick his hind," Lorna retorted jerking her thumb towards the ceiling indicating to which 'boss' she was referring. Rousing herself enough to remember Sam had asked about a quilt, Lorna informed her, "there are spare duvets in the airing cupboard on the landing. It's the door next to the bathroom on the back wall."

"Ok, you stay here and…" Sam paused, realising it would be crass to request Lorna relax so opted for continuing with, "…well just stay put and I'll be back in a minute."

* * *

"Jo, baby, what are you doing sitting down here? It's almost two in the morning." Lucy shuffled into the kitchen, her view of the table masked by her lover's form where Jo sat stock still, back to the door, staring seemingly into the dead space in front of her.

"Go back to bed, Luce, I don't want to keep you up." Resigned and monotone were the adjectives Lucy would have used to describe that statement had she been asked. The lack of verve in Jo's tone, the slumped posture and her refusal to make any kind of visual acknowledgement of her lover's presence scared the young brunette into doing the exact opposite of what had been requested of her. Suddenly wide awake, she edged around until she was standing beside the obviously distressed woman. Her eyes dropped down to the table, drawn by the glint of metal under the harsh lights. "Jo?" One word but so many questions were held in that simple utterance.

"I said go back to bed." Jo had yet to move, to make any kind of attempt at eye contact or offer any explanation for what she was doing in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning with a pair of scissors sitting on the table in front of her.

"I don't want to go back to bed, sweetheart, I want to know what's going on here? What are you planning on doing with these?" Lucy grabbed the implement up from the wooden surface, folding her palm around the blades and thrusting the handles into Jo's line of sight. Beyond an almost imperceptible flinch, her actions produced no reaction in the brunette. Gripping the older woman's jaw, almost fiercely, with her free hand, Lucy twisted Jo's head up to meet her gaze, frantically barking, "look at me!" The woman's eyes were dull and haunted, no sign of the usual spark of personality apparent, causing her lover to gasp in shock. She dropped the scissors, cringing as they clattered loudly to the tabletop, her freed hand reaching up to cup Jo's cheek, drawing another, stronger, more noticeable flinch this time. "Baby, talk to me, please? Come on, you're scaring me. What is it? What's the matter? Was someone here? Has someone hurt you?" As though to confirm her suspicions, Lucy's hands began to do an inventory of Jo's body, checking for obvious signs of an assault.

"No one hurt me," Jo assured her, though her lifeless tone scarcely alleviated Lucy's fears.

"Then what? What has you so upset honey? Is it me? Is it because I asked to be left alone earlier? I just needed to get my head around Katie's disappearance, I didn't want to worry you. I didn't mean to reject you or hurt your feelings. Sweetheart, I am so sorry if I did." Lucy went to run a hand soothingly through Jo's chestnut hair, surprised and a little hurt when the head beneath her hands was yanked away violently. Hurt that was until she realised that in her hand she held strands of Jo's hair, more strands than would normally shake loose of their own volition. Suddenly, with startling clarity, the younger woman understood. "Oh baby…" No further words passed her lips as her heart clenched tightly in her chest and tears sprung to her eyes in empathy for the older woman's agony.

"It's ok, you can go, I don't expect you to stay. I'm repulsive, I won't blame you for wanting to get as far away from me as you can." Jo picked up the scissors with one shaking hand, gripping a fistful of hair with the other and violently pulling it away from her head, preparing to hack it all off, to expose her ugliness for the world to see. Gentle hands stilled her motions, wrestling the scissors from her and tossing them out of reach onto the workbench behind the younger woman.

"No," Lucy softly intoned. Prising her lover's rigid fingers from around the hair still clenched in her fist, she repeated, "no," more vehemently. Squatting down until she was level with the older woman's face, ignoring the burn in her muscles at the unfamiliar position, Lucy held Jo's gaze, making sure the brunette could see the fire in her own eyes. "You are beautiful. You are gorgeous and sexy and wonderful and always will be. With or without hair, I love you. I am _in_ love with you and I am _not_ going anywhere. What will it take for you to trust me? To trust in my love for you?" She pulled one of Jo's hands to Lucy's own chest, placing it palm down over where her heart could be felt hammering at a frantic pace. "Feel what it does to me when you're hurting this way. Feel how much it terrifies me to think that I've lost you to some dark place I can't reach you. Feel how it breaks my heart to think you don't trust me to stick around, to think you consider me so shallow and vain that I would leave you because of a side effect of a treatment which is going to save your life. How could I reject this without feeling like the treatment wasn't worth it? Do you know what that would mean admitting? I would have to decide that your life wasn't worth it, wasn't worth this. And I can't do that because I would be lying. Your life, to me, is worth losing your hair for a while. Hell to me, if it meant saving your life, I'd chop off my hair, an arm, a leg, whatever it took to save you. Because, Jo, whether you accept it or not, I want you around so that I can grow old and grey with you, so we can book ourselves onto Saga holidays together and sit in chairs beside a fire under fleecy blankets reminiscing about the good old days over a pureed meal because we've no teeth left to chew solid foods!" Lucy's impassioned plea broke a dam within the detached brunette, unleashing a torrent of tears. Tentatively at first the young woman held her lover close, then with greater confidence as Jo returned the embrace, tightening her hold and continuing to murmur words of comfort, adding her own tears to her distraught lover's without feeling any need to mask her own torment, sharing her fears, her concerns, her distress in a cathartic release.

After both women's cries quieted, a solemn silence settled in the kitchen, pierced only by the ticking of the wall clock and occasional soft sighs. Finally, Lucy drew back a little rubbing her hands down both sides of Jo's face before stooping to reverently worship her lover's lips in a breathtaking kiss. "Promise me you won't try this again tonight? We can call a mobile hairdresser in the morning if you want, get someone to come here and do it properly for you?" Jo settled for nodding, not trusting her voice enough to respond verbally. "Will you come back to bed with me? It's pretty cold down here, I could use a cuddle and a warm duvet. What do you say?" Lucy stepped away, extending her hand towards the still seated brunette in invitation to join her on her feet. It was an invitation Jo gladly took, grasping the cool hand in her own clammy, trembling palm. Without another word, Lucy turned and led her back up the stairs to their bedroom.


	37. Chapter 37

**_A little later than normal - I lost track of days! Thanks to A for Antechinus for the review on the last chapter :) Muse & I appreciate it muchly._**

**_As per usual, I own nothing, I claim to own nothing and even if you sue me until the cows come home, nothing divided as many times as you like is still a big fat nothing!_**

**_Hope this installment satisfies those of you reading. Until the next chapter..._**

* * *

Sam pulled the duvet more tightly around herself and Lorna, dropping a tender kiss against the taller woman's temple, revelling in the feel of the Scot nestling closer to her, nuzzling her neck inadvertently as she slept in Sam's arms. Resting her head back down against the pillow she and Lorna were sharing, Sam resisted the urge to let her eyes drift closed, knowing that she needed to make a move very soon in order to fulfil the vow she'd made to Jack the previous night to be at the station by seven o'clock The detective had been pleasantly surprised to find Lorna still in her arms when she woke and given the late hour at which the Scot had finally drifted off, Sam was reluctant to disturb her so early. Nevertheless, the DI began the delicate task of extricating herself from the tangle of limbs, shuffling as far back as she could and wrapping the quilt back around Lorna's body filling the void she had created by moving. Carefully, keeping the jostling to a minimum, Sam eased herself over the sleeping body of her lover, climbing off the sofa and padding towards the stairs with a wide yawn. She crept up the carpeted steps, softly closing the bathroom door behind herself, still trying to work the kinks out of her muscles unaccustomed as they were to sleeping on a sofa. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she grimaced at the vision she presented; clothes wrinkled beyond repair, hair limp and lacklustre, eyes bloodshot and watery from her remaining fatigue. She turned the shower on, retrieving some towels and stripping out of her clothing as she waited for the water to heat sufficiently, hoping it wouldn't disturb Lorna or Moira but knowing that she couldn't arrive at work looking as she currently did. The detective hung her clothes from the pegs on the back of the door, hoping the humidity created by the shower would at least straighten out the worst of the creases. She clambered beneath the hot spray, letting the motion of the water revive her somewhat as she grabbed Lorna's shower crème and squirted a generous blob into her palm, lathering it across her torso and arms. The noise of the shower masked the sound of the door opening and closing softly, the rigid shower guard preventing the brief draught from filtering through. Movement caught the corner of Sam's eye however, alerting her to another presence in the room, just before Lorna's head popped into the cubicle.

"Is it too soon to ask if I can join you?" The Scot asked bashfully, valiantly trying to maintain eye contact with her lover rather than rake her gaze over the other woman's naked body.

"No, of course not, hop in." Sam sensed that the request was based more on a want to be close to her rather than carnal need but even so, she couldn't prevent the frisson of desire which coursed through her body at the thought of sharing the snug cubicle with the taller woman. She watched in awe as Lorna shimmied her way into the shower, working to prevent too much of the steam or water from escaping its confines, wrapping her into a warm embrace as soon as she was stable and within reach. "Hope you don't mind, I pinched some of your shower crème," Sam murmured, her voice low and sultry sounding as her body automatically responded.

"Of course not, whatever you need you're more than welcome to," Lorna replied seriously before leaning back to gaze into the shorter blonde's eyes. She leant in close, capturing succulent lips with her own, offering a belated sensual, intimate greeting. "Good morning," she hummed.

"Mmmm, morning," Sam husked in return, instantly deciding that she could quite easily grow accustomed to this as a morning ritual. "I didn't want to wake you but I am very glad you're here," she admitted as she moved back in for another kiss.

"I woke up and you weren't there but then I heard the shower and saw the time so I thought I'd multitask; show my girlfriend how grateful I am for her support and love and get cleaned up at the same time." Lorna manoeuvred them both in the cramped space until Sam was less directly beneath the pounding water. The redhead worked her hands into sodden blonde tresses, making sure the water had penetrated right through before reaching behind her lover and grabbing a bottle of shampoo. Squirting some into her hand, Lorna set about washing Sam's hair for her, combining her efforts with a gentle head massage. Sam was struck motionless by the tender care her lover was lavishing on her. Her own hands rested at the swell of the taller woman's hips. When Lorna instructed her to tilt her head back so that the shampoo could be rinsed out of her hair, Sam felt the breath leave her lungs. With her head leant back into the torrents of steaming hot water, Lorna was granted unfettered access to her neck, access which she opted to take full advantage of. Plump lips fastened onto various areas of the newly exposed skin, nipping, licking, kissing and soothing even as gentle hands continued to rinse her hair. The detective knew what ecstasy felt like in that moment, or at least was pretty sure she did. Sam allowed her hands to grip Lorna's hips more tightly, pulling the taller woman's body flush against her own. The move detached the lips from her neck but they were soon otherwise occupied with her own mouth instead, sharing a passionate, intense kiss which left them both heady with desire.

"I wish I had time to do everything I want to do to you sweetheart, but I've got to get to work," Sam whined regretfully. Knowing that her frustrated lover would never be able to concentrate on anything productive if left in her current state, Lorna slipped one thigh between Sam's own, guiding her back against the cubicle wall and inviting her to alleviate some of the tension which they had created. She too rocked her pelvis against Sam's toned thigh, bringing her own release closer. "Ohhhhhhhh," Sam moaned hotly, head falling forwards onto Lorna's shoulder as she undulated more intently against the smooth skin. "Please, I need… I need you…"

"What baby, what do you need? Tell me and I'll give it to you gladly," Lorna panted, struggling to focus on hearing Sam's request.

"Inside me… I need you inside me… please Lorna… please," Sam's voice was a reverent plea, quietly spoken as some part of her rational mind remembered they were not alone in the house. Lorna released her own whimpered sigh upon hearing what her lover needed, immediately complying and dragging one hand down to the sopping core pressed tightly against her leg. Lowering that limb enough to insinuate her hand in between them, she wasted little time in plunging two fingers deep inside the other woman's body, quickly developing a rhythm, her thrusts aided by the movement of her thigh. Sam yelped and for a moment, Lorna was fearful that she had hurt her but then the blonde, as though sensing the miniscule tension and pause, strongly urged her to continue, that it was exactly what she needed. "So close… please Lorna… yes, yes, right there…right…" Sam exploded with a long guttural groan, convulsing around the redhead's fingers still deep within her. Unable to stop herself, even had she wanted to, Lorna continued to roll her hips, riding Sam's thigh and bringing her own release ever closer. Sam sneakily trailed a hand down the frenzied body, worming her fingers into the almost non-existent gap between Lorna's drenched core and her own tensed leg. She applied gentle pressure to Lorna's hooded clit, rubbing it deliberately in time with the CSE's motion. Sam's other hand moved around Lorna's back, pressing between her shoulder blades and pulling her closer in, effectively offering support as she felt the taller woman's knees trembling. The move reminded Sam of the deft digits still trapped inside her, their tips tickling sensitive ridged flesh and causing her to draw in a sharp breath through gritted teeth. Stars swam before her eyes as another orgasm threatened to rip through her, despite her mind being convinced she had not yet recovered sufficiently from the last. Determined that they would reach the crest together this time, Sam dipped her hand lower and pressed two fingers into the waiting, spasming cavern of Lorna's sex, curling them towards herself and finding that spongy ridge which had given the other woman so much pleasure during their previous encounter.

"Oh God, Sam…" Lorna cried, seemingly less concerned that they might alert her sister to their activities. The two women rocked together, a writhing mass of flushed flesh and heavy breathing, until each plummeted into an abyss of sensation and pleasure, one toppling gratefully after the other in a co-ordinated crescendo. They rested against one another, leaning heavily against the wall for support, while they regained their bearings enough to extricate their fingers from the other. "Wow, I've never done that before!" Lorna exclaimed with a lazy grin.

"Me either," Sam admitted, admiring the flush of colour adorning the normally pale woman's skin, proud to realise she had been the one to cause it. "And as much as I would love a repeat performance, I really should be making a move to work or else Jack might not be so genial." Lorna nodded sagely, reaching beyond the short blonde and passing her the shower crème while she collected the conditioner so that she could finish taking care of Sam's hair. Turning her around so that Sam was facing the spray of the shower, affording Lorna a wonderful view of her smooth naked back and buttocks, the redhead began working the conditioner through the soft blonde hair, allowing Sam to cleanse herself once again.

* * *

Sam heard movement at the top of the stairs and was quite keen to make her escape before having to face Lorna's sister, just in case she had overheard their bathroom antics.

"Lorna, I'm going to make a move and head into work. Call me, if you hear anything at all or if you need something, or if you just want to talk for a while, please promise you'll call me?" Sam implored, arms wrapped around the taller woman's waist, blue eyes boring into tender green ones.

"You can count on it," Lorna assured her sincerely. "Promise me the same? I know you're not likely to be kept informed of what's going on officially, not now that Jack realises the extent of your… interest, but people talk and there are a lot of people in that station who have a lot of time and respect for you, I'm sure they will want to keep you at least somewhat aware of any developments."

"Of course I will. Anything that I learn, you'll be the first to know although I would hope that the FLO, Grace or whoever it is, will be keeping you fully informed at every stage of the investigation." Sam rose on tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss against her lover's lips, her reluctance to leave becoming more and more evident.

"I'll be fine Sam, go do what you need to do. I've got Moira and I have you at the end of a phone. I'll be ok. Just be safe and promise me you'll come home… come here when you can tonight?" Sam's heart swelled at the reference to the house being their home, feeling a sudden sense of longing that it was true despite a momentary panic about the implications of that.

"I've no intention of doing anything which would give rise to any reason I couldn't be by your side tonight and any other night you'll have me for a long time." Sam dropped one last kiss on her lover's lips before stepping away, spying Moira as she moved standing in the kitchen doorway, eyes averted from the tender scene before her. "Call me anytime, honey," she called softly as she stepped past the broader Scot and moved towards the front door, offering a shy "hi and goodbye" to Moira as she went.

Once the front door was closed, Moira looked to where her sister stood, seeing the facade threatening to crumble. Hoping to quell the growing sense of discomfort, she quipped, "I heard you found God in the shower this morning." She levelled an imperious gaze on her taller sibling, cocking an eyebrow.

Lorna felt her skin flush and wondered if she couldn't just escape after Sam and hide away from her sister's inquisition. "Ummm, you heard?"

"Enough to decide that I'll be taking a shower at home this morning!" Moira teased, maintaining her straight face only through sheer stubbornness.

With a groan, Lorna hid her face and began to apologise profusely. "I didn't realise how thin the walls are in this house. I'm sorry, really I am Mor, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or force you to think about things you'd rather never consider…"

"Oh relax Lollipop," Moira stated, her resolve breaking, the use of her childhood pet name for Lorna reassuring her that her sister had not been overly disturbed by what she had discovered that morning. "I'm glad that Sam could give you a little piece of comfort and love. Heaven knows you deserve it with everything you are going through and have already been through. Just maybe, you know, keep it to a minimum on the volume if you go for another round while I'm here could you? It's a heck of a long time since Robert has made me want to call out like that and jealousy is never a pleasant emotion to wear!" She gathered her sister into a fierce hug, squeezing tightly before releasing her and leaning back to study her more closely. Lorna fidgeted under her intense unwavering gaze, wondering what was going through the other woman's head. "You wear it well, love. I thought so when you found James but I'd forgotten how beautiful you are when truly in love. That in itself has me convinced that this is what God wants for you, that this is His doing. And I'm not about to argue with Him, not when it obviously suits you so well. So long as she is good to you and treats you with the devotion and courtesy you deserve and as long as it doesn't have a detrimental effect on Katie, I'll be happy to welcome Sam into our family."

"You should see Katie and Sam together, Mor, honestly it is amazing. Katie adores her and she already knows about the nature of our relationship, she's fine with it. In fact, she was the one to give me the biggest kick up the seat of my pants to get me to pursue the chance of something more than friendship with Sam. I really hope you get the chance to see what they're like when they get going, verbally sparring with one another and playing games on Sam's Wii. I've felt more like I had a proper family home life again over the last few weeks than I've felt since James died. I've loved it and now I'm so terrified that it's gone for good. That Katie's gone for good." The reality of her situation settled over Lorna once more, causing fresh tears to spring to her eyes but she blinked them back, not willing to shed any more until she knew for certain she would never see her daughter again.

* * *

Lucy replaced the receiver into its cradle and went in search of her partner. "Jo babe, where are you?"

"In here," came the muffled response from the general direction of the bedroom. Lucy walked in, half expecting to find her lover buried back beneath the duvet. Instead, the older woman was semi-submerged in her wardrobe, rifling through clothing and occasionally tossing items over her shoulder onto a growing heap on the bedroom floor.

"What you doing, sweetheart?" Lucy picked up one of the discarded tops, examining it as if she could divine the reason for its rejection through sheer concentration.

"You're going to need some space for your clothes and I'm not likely to be wearing any of this stuff again so I'm killing two birds with one stone; making space for you to move in to and getting rid of things I no longer have any use for." Jo continued to ruthlessly weed out clothing.

"Darling, we can sort out where my stuff will go any time, there's no urgency to do it right this minute. Why don't we go downstairs and have a cuppa? Relax for a while."

"Don't you need to be getting to work? You're already going to be late as it is," Jo cautioned with a pointed glance at the digital clock on the bedside cabinet.

"No I'm not. I just spoke to my boss and he's agreed to give me the rest of the week off." Lucy had explained to the man about how hard they were both finding it since Jo came out of hospital, how they were struggling to adjust to the realities of what living with her cancer meant and how guilty Lucy felt for going back to work so soon after Jo's return home. At first, he had been reluctant to give her more than a few additional hours in a morning, hoping that it would suffice if Lucy could spend some time making sure her partner was ok before leaving her and heading in to the office but Lucy had haltingly informed him of how she had discovered the older woman earlier that morning, preparing to take a pair of scissors to her own hair, convinced of her unattractiveness and worthlessness. The young brunette had promised that in return, she would work through the summer months, covering the workload of others when they wanted to take holidays, within reason. She hoped that it was a bargain she wouldn't live to regret making.

"Are you sure? That seems very generous of him. What do you have to do in return?" Jo was immediately suspicious of the cost of this agreement. Lucy had made no secret of the fact that since she had informed her boss of her relationship with Jo – a necessity following the need for repeated time off and answering personal phone calls during her working day – he had been overly attentive to her whenever she was in the office; watching her as she worked, standing closer to her than necessary when he visited her desk, following her to the staff room when she went to make drinks for herself and her colleagues.

"I've agreed not to take time off in the summer months, so my colleagues can go away on their holidays. Most of them have kids so they need time off during the school holidays and of course, we tend to be really rather busy around then with people trying to book last minute getaways. I'm not tied to needing leave at certain times of the year though so it really is no skin off my nose," Lucy advised.

"So long as that doesn't give him an excuse to have you working every weekend throughout the summer months and as long as he doesn't try anything. You need more than one day off a week, love, or you'll burn yourself out." Jo paused in her spring cleaning efforts long enough to cup her lover's cheek with a warm palm, caressing the ridge beneath her eye tenderly with a gentle thumb.

"Right now, spending time with you and making sure you are alright is my only priority. I'll cross whatever bridges I have to when the time comes in summer but I can assure you if he so much as hints on making a move on me, he will be the one working every weekend and covering for all the staff on leave, on his own after I castrate him! I'm a big girl Jo, I know how guys like him operate and I have no intention of being a malleable, timid target for his attentions." Lucy leant into the soft caress, stepping closer and settling her own hands behind Jo's neck, clasping them together effectively capturing her lover in her embrace. "Now, will you please come and join me downstairs for a cuddle and a cup of coffee? I'd like you to come back to doing this later when we can spend time going through it together. There are one or two tops on the floor here that I'd like to see you in again."

"I'll accept the invitation for a drink and for the cuddle as well. As far as the clothes go, I'm making no promises there, I'm sorry," Jo murmured, ducking her head and extricating herself from the younger woman's hold.

"We'll see how you feel later. Come on, I've got some things I want to talk to you about." Lucy led an apprehensive brunette from the bedroom, tugging on their joined hands until she had got Jo settled on the couch. She returned a few minutes later to find the other woman in the same position, a worried frown sitting deeply on her brow.

"What's up?" Jo's tone held distinct overtones of nervousness and anxiety, her body rigid and unyielding as Lucy attempted to guide her into a comfortable embrace.

Dropping a tender kiss against the detective's temple, Lucy assured her, "it's nothing bad, I promise. Nothing that is going to hurt you. I just wanted to talk to you about earlier, about this morning and what happened in the kitchen." She felt the muscles which had just begun to relax a little tense up once more. "Hey, don't do that, don't pull away from me and shut down. I want you to feel like you can talk about anything you're feeling, everything you're experiencing, without fearing that I'll disappear. So I'm going to sit here with you for as long as it takes for you to understand that I love you, that I am _in_ love with you and that no matter how hard this fight gets, no matter how many times you think I might be growing tired or wanting to leave, I will be right here, beside you, holding you, kissing you, making love with you and supporting you. We knew, when you had the treatment options outlined, that there was a distinct possibility you would lose some if not all of your hair. _I _knew it, then and now, and it makes no difference to how much I love you, to how much I want to show you that I love you, to how beautiful and stunning and gorgeous I think you are. Have you given any thought to what you want to do until your hair grows back? Would you prefer wearing a wig, would that make you feel less self conscious? Or would you prefer headscarves or hats, caps, bandanas? Personally, I think you'll look beautiful whatever you choose to do but even more so if it's something you can grow to be comfortable with." Lucy kissed Jo's hunched shoulder, one arm draped across the back of the sofa's cushions, the other hand resting on Jo's toned thigh.

"I… I've… I haven't really given it much thought. I guess… I mean people are going to know it's not real if I wear a wig aren't they?"

"Not necessarily. It's amazing what they can do now, they look natural and you can style it to suit you," Lucy assured.

"I never realised I was so vain," Jo grumbled glumly, leaning forward and burying her face in her hands, elbows propped on her knees.

"Oh honey, it's not about vanity. It's about confidence and identity and choice. Changing your appearance like this isn't what you would choose for yourself, it isn't within your control. Which is why we're going to go shopping for whatever you do choose which would make you feel more like 'you' for the duration of your treatment. And why we're going to get a hairdresser to come here and cut your hair for you rather than waiting for nature to take its course – give you back some of the control about how and when instead of the drugs being completely in charge. So what do you say? Are you more of a baseball cap kinda girl or are we going to be looking for scarves? Or some of each? I personally think we should get you some warm beanie hats, for when you go out, at least until the weather turns a bit warmer again but it's entirely up you, whatever you want." Lucy's hand soothed wide circles over the expanse of Jo's back.

"I think I'm more likely to feel as comfortable as I'm going to with bandanas rather than headscarves, I'm not really a flowery type person," Jo answered at length after considering her options.

"Oooh, I think you're going to look bad-ass and sexy," Lucy assured her lover, offering a wink and a cheeky grin when Jo turned an incredulous look on her.

"Oh yeah, that's likely. Bald and barfing, if that's what turns you on I think we might have a problem." Lucy couldn't tell if Jo was being serious or not, so opted for a practical demonstration of precisely what turned her on, kissing the older woman soundly.

"I will always find you sexy," she murmured against her girlfriend's pliant lips before resuming their kiss.


	38. Chapter 38

_**Heartfelt apologies for not having managed to update last week - never volunteer to take part in something until you realise quite how much additional work you're letting yourself in for! Financial year end, staff shortages following redundancies plus an NVQ requiring completion of 3 massive projects within the next 12 weeks plus the usual day to day work, add in a busy period of preparing for a big singing competition in my home life equals very little free time! However, enough excuses, on with the important things here. Thank you A for Antechinus and Sez01 for your fantastically kind reviews. *hangs head for making you awesome people wait longer than you should have had to*. I hope you enjoy this latest (belated) update too.**_

_**As usual, I own precisely zip - even less since I'm doing extra travelling so my car is next to worthless and my bank balance severely depleted thanks to stupid fuel costs! So yeah, if you object to me playing with these characters, even though I claim no ownership and am making absolutely no profit whatsoever, feel free to sue me but bear in mind that nothing is still nothing no matter how many times you divide it!**_

* * *

"Sam, I'm sure you'll understand when I ask you to work with Angie and Kezia on whatever cases you catch while the rest of the team concentrate on finding Katie and Stuart. With all that's been going on recently, I don't want to overlook the possibility that Angie's intentions are not altogether innocent and I have no intention of jeopardising our search by opening ourselves up to the possibility of tipping off the kidnappers. Grace, Terry and Mickey I trust and I've requested a temporary redeployment of another sergeant we can trust, someone who has history here – I've not had confirmation yet who it will be but the likeliest candidates are Ramani De Costa or Phil Hunter. Until then, I'll need you to handle things, keep an eye on Angie, let me know of anything that might be pertinent." Jack eyed his DI over the desk, watched her nodding her acquiescence to his request as she processed the possibility of Phil returning. "How's Lorna?" His tone softened, becoming more fatherly in his concern.

"She's… as you'd expect really, swinging between denial, depression and anger. She alternates between being convinced she'll never see her daughter again, that Katie's already been killed, and clinging on to the hope that she'll come home safe and sound," Sam told her boss, a soft frown marring her smooth brow indicating her concern about the CSE's wellbeing.

Jack nodded his understanding. "You know that you can't get involved with the investigation so I don't expect to hear about you asking questions, ok? I appreciate you let me know about your conflict of interest before it could become an issue but I won't afford you any leniency because you're emotionally involved. Keep your head focused on your own cases and let the rest of the team do their jobs."

"It's ok Jack, I have no intention of interfering in the investigation in any way. It's too important, to Lorna… and to me that Katie is found. I'm here to do what I can to free up the rest of the team as much as possible so they can concentrate on making that happen. All I ask is that someone lets me know if there's any news, if there comes a point when I need to make sure I'm with Lorna." Jack understood that the detective was asking to be told if Katie was found to be dead or gravely injured that she be given an opportunity to offer her support to Lorna when she was informed.

"I'll do my best, Sam. She's lucky to have you supporting her through this. I know it can't be easy for you either, must bring back memories you'd rather not be reminded of, so I want you to know my door is always open. If you need anything, need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

* * *

"What do you think of this one?" Lucy held up a purple patch of material with small white fleur-de-lis adorning it at seemingly random intervals.

"Hmmm, I'd rather go for neutral colours I think, you know what I'm like for co-ordinating outfits; low maintenance and simple," Jo answered with a shrug.

"So the rainbow one's out then?" The young brunette asked with a mischievous grin.

"Do you really think I need to advertise the fact that I'm gay that much? I don't think so. The idea is to _not_ draw attention, I think that would have the opposite effect, don't you?" Jo swatted her lover's arm for her teasing before turning her attention back to the display in front of them.

"I like this one, is it subtle enough for you?" Lucy's next offering was black with a deep crimson fractal pattern lifting the colour without being overwhelming.

Jo pulled the fabric from the brunette's hands, studying it for long moments before responding. "Yeah I think that one will work. What about this one as well?" Jo handed her partner a dark green bandana with lighter green streaks marbled through it.

"Oh yeah, that's cool." Lucy handed the fabric back to her lover, stroking a hand down the taller woman's arm lovingly.

"…disgusting dykes…" The words penetrated both of their consciousness' at the same moment, heads snapping around to find the source. A few feet away, two young women were staring at them, faces frozen in matching expressions of distaste. Lucy felt Jo tense, readying herself for unleashing a verbal tirade in the face of such blatant homophobia. Deciding that actions spoke louder than words, Lucy gripped her lover tightly, swinging around until she was standing in front of Jo and drawing her in close. She ambushed the detective with a searing kiss, moaning in obvious appreciation. Behind Jo's back, Lucy flipped both women the finger, indicating her lack of concern regarding their opinion of her relationship. They heard their spectators grumbling and muttering as they stalked off. Lucy pulled back, looking deeply into Jo's eyes to assess her reaction to the incident…and to her own actions.

"Feeling a little feisty today are we, Miss Sorella?" Jo asked with a wry grin.

"Just not in the mood to stand for that kind of crap," the brunette replied with a sigh.

"What say we pay for these and go get coffee somewhere? I could use a sit down after that, my knees are suddenly weak!" Jo quipped, feigning a swoon. In truth, she was beginning to feel a little exhausted from the constant walking around and standing. A sit down, she hoped, would allow her to recoup some of her energy.

"Sounds fantastic to me, sweetheart. Let's go."

* * *

Lucy watched her lover from across the circular table where they sat in the coffee shop. She could tell there was something on the older woman's mind. Jo had looked pensive since they had sat down. "Want to talk about it?" Lucy wasn't sure if it was something to do with what had happened earlier in the shop or if it was something entirely unrelated but whatever it was had rendered Jo somewhat mute.

"Hmm?" The vague response proved how far away the detective's mind was.

"Whatever's going on in that brain of yours, do you want to talk about it?" Lucy tried again, seeing that for that fleeting moment at least she had Jo's attention.

"I was just trying to decide what to do about work. I still want to see if I can help in some way but… I'm scared of going in, of seeing people, of people seeing me… like this or rather like I will be." Jo pushed her cup further away from her suddenly no longer interested in the half full beverage.

"Babe, I realise that you want to do what you can to help Sam and Lorna but realistically, do you honestly think you feel up to trying to work? Even if only for a few hours a day, that's a lot of pressure to put yourself under. You're still tiring quickly, even if you do try to hide it from me, and I'm sure your work takes a whole lot of concentration. If you can convince me that you feel able to cope with it then of course I will support your choice but baby, please don't let your sense of duty override what is best for your health." Lucy reached across the table and covered Jo's hand with her own, squeezing it gently.

"I'm not sure of anything right now; that I have the energy to be of any use, that I can face my colleagues. I just hate feeling so useless, I feel like there should be _something_ I can do to help."

"I understand that sweetheart but I'm sure Sam would tell you that you can help them most by concentrating on fighting to get better and by being there for the pair of them as a friend. They'll have other officers working on the case, other people to take care of tracking down leads and following evidence. You might serve them best by just being there for them to talk to, a sounding board for them to vent their fears, their hopes, their frustrations to. Why don't you talk to Sam before you make any kind of decision about it? See what she says and then we can take it from there. It might all be a moot point anyway, the doctor might not even entertain the notion while you're receiving treatments." One of the servers chose that moment to approach their table, asking if either of them wanted anything else to drink. Lucy was about to order another chai latte when she noticed the frequent glances the waitress was casting in the direction of Jo's head. The young brunette was hyperaware of the growing obviousness of Jo's hair loss and hoped to avoid her lover noticing that it had become the subject of their server's fascination. Fixing a pointed glare on the intruder, Lucy declined, indicating that they were planning on leaving very shortly. Jo fidgeted uncomfortably, feeling the visitor's eyes raking over her like a physical assault. She kept her gaze downcast, not wishing to see the disgust she suspected would be evident in the waitress's eyes. Finally, they were alone once again but both Lucy and Jo were aware of the server whispering about them none too subtly with her co-workers behind the counter.

"Can we go home now?" Jo understood that it was human nature to be curious about things out of the ordinary but it still didn't make it any more comfortable being the subject of such scrutiny.

"Of course we can," Lucy replied, standing and helping her lover to her feet, wrapping a protective, loving arm around her slender waist. As they exited the cafe, she threw a withering glance in the direction of the young girl who had approached them, her stare clearly indicating her displeasure. She was disappointed to find they had an audience of more than one, with a cluster of staff watching them make their way towards the door. After they had made their way to the car, she feigned that she had left something behind in the coffee shop. Leaving her lover in the refuge of the sedan, Lucy retraced her steps, clattering back into the cafe with a scowl. "What do you think she is? A freaking zoo exhibition? She's sick, she has cancer, she's having chemotherapy which is slowly poisoning her system and destroying cells both healthy and cancerous. I hope you're all proud of yourselves for making her feel even more self conscious than she already did and I hope to God that none of you or anyone you care about ever has to feel what we're feeling right now. Why don't you think on that before sniggering behind people's backs and making judgements when you know absolutely nothing about their situations in future?" Without waiting for any kind of response, Lucy turned on her heel and stalked back out towards her waiting partner, desperately willing her temper to cool before she reached the car.

"Did you find whatever it was you left behind?" Jo asked, a knowing expression accompanying her raised eyebrow.

With a quirk of her mouth, Lucy shook her head, "guess I must have put it in the boot earlier before we went in, I couldn't find it anywhere."

Jo leant over from the passenger seat and claimed her girlfriend's mouth in a firm kiss. "Thank you," she said simply as she pulled away.

"What for?" Lucy asked, a little breathless from the unexpected gesture.

"Defending my honour," Jo supplied, letting her know she had seen through the guise and understood the real reason behind the younger woman's return to the coffee shop. "I doubt it'll make a difference to them but it does to me."

* * *

"Kezia, I need you to go and interview a witness in the Dobbin's robbery." Sam handed the keen young trainee a slip of paper on which the address of her interviewee was written.

"Yes Guv," Kezia replied, bounding out of her seat and through the hinged double doors like an overly excited puppy.

"What can I do, Guv?" Angie rested her elbows on the desk in front of her as she regarded the petite blonde DI carefully.

"There are a pile of phone records to go through from the Stanley Arms break in. Cross reference them with Adam Wiltshere's call log, see if there's anything tying him to the place," Sam ordered, a little more sharply than she had intended. With a brisk nod, the mahogany-skinned woman began the arduous task she had been set, without word of a complaint, despite having been lumbered with the grunt work all day. It seemed that she understood Sam's reticence and the need to prove herself before she would be trusted with anything more demanding. Her easy acquiescence made Sam feel even more rotten for being so short with her, her cool facade dropping briefly as she asked, "can I interest you in a coffee? You might need the caffeine to plough through that lot."

"Not at the minute, Guv, but thanks for the offer," Angie replied, acknowledging Sam's attempts with a warm smile and twinkling brown eyes. Stepping away from the open office and behind her own desk, Sam sought refuge by burying herself in her own paperwork, leaving her door open so she could observe hub of CID. After scant few minutes, her attention was wandering to her lover; wondering how she was getting on, if Grace had made contact yet having been officially appointed as FLO, wondering if there was any hint of a development in the case. Deciding that her time would prove fruitless unless she made attempts to answer some of the queries, Sam reached into her pocket and slipped her mobile out, dialling a now familiar number and waiting for her call to be connected.

"Hello?" Lorna's soft burr answered after a few rings, her tone hushed as though she was trying not to disturb someone by speaking.

"Hiya love, how are you?" Sam asked equally as quietly, not wishing to draw attention to the private nature of her call by closing the door but also not willing to share with those present in CID either.

"Ok, I guess. Missing Katie, missing you, wishing the day would go faster. Every minute seems to take forever to pass when you're waiting for news, waiting for someone to come home. Have you heard anything?" Lorna questioned hopefully.

"No, and I've been warned by Jack not to even think about trying to put myself in the middle of the investigation. I have to respect that and trust our colleagues to do their job to the best of their ability." Lowering her voice even further, Sam murmured, "I miss you too, that's mostly why I called. I needed to hear your voice."

"Do you know what time you can finish yet tonight?"

"I should be free to get away by seven or shortly after. Want me to pick something quick up for dinner on my way in? I can call at the supermarket, get us something microwaveable if you don't feel like cooking or I'll rustle us up something when I'm back." Sam studiously avoided referring to Lorna's house as home, even though it was on the tip of her tongue and felt strangely normal to do so.

"I haven't even thought about food, Sam. Just pick up whatever you feel like, I don't have much of an appetite." The knot which had formed in Lorna's stomach upon hearing about Katie's disappearance refused to budge or even shrink in the slightest, preventing her from believing she could tolerate any kind of food.

"You need to eat, Lorna, no arguments. I'll buy something on my way to you and we will eat when together this evening." Sam spied Angie heading her way brandishing a sheath of papers so she quickly, regretfully wrapped up her conversation with her lover.

* * *

"Honey, wake up." Lucy felt awful disturbing her slumbering girlfriend after seeing how exhausted she had been on their return from the shopping trip but the hairdresser they had contacted had arrived and since she had fitted them in between other appointments, there was no option but to wake Jo. The brunette groggily roused herself from where she lay prone on the sofa, covered by a spare duvet, head resting on a cushion which was adorned by yet more lost hairs as she sat up.

"What's up?" Jo asked through a yawn, rubbing her eyes with the back of one hand.

"The hairdresser's here," Lucy informed her, voice thickening a little as a lump formed in her throat. The reality of the moment caught up with her and tears sprung unbidden to her eyes as she cast a last loving glance at the shoulder-length chestnut locks which would soon be gone for the duration of Jo's treatment and recovery.

Taking a deep breath to fortify her resolve, Jo nodded and said, "let's do this then, let's get it over with." She rose to her feet, steadying herself against the shorter woman's frame as blood rushed to her lower extremities.

"Steady babe, take your time," Lucy cautioned, watching the slight colour Jo carried drain from her face. Slowly, the two women made their way through to the kitchen, where Lucy had directed their guest to set up, figuring clearing up stray hairs from a tile floor would be easier than from the lounge carpet.

"Hi, you must be Jo. I'm Charlotte," the perky middle-aged blonde greeted them cheerily when they finally made it. She had positioned a chair in sufficient space to allow her to move freely around it and access all sides of her customer's head. "Let's get you sat down then we can chat about what you want doing." Charlotte offered them a warm smile as they continued their approach, already having been filled in about Jo's condition during the initial phone call from her young companion. Once Jo was settled in the chair, Lucy took a seat at the kitchen table, as close as she could be to her lover without impeding on the hairdresser's workspace.

"How are you at wielding a razor?" Jo asked with a weary half-smile, the mirth not quite reaching her eyes. "Might as well scalp me now since it's just going to keep falling out anyway." She could barely keep her eyes open, such was her level of fatigue. It frustrated her to think how little she had done to render her so tired but guessed that she would have to accept it as a fact of life for the duration of her treatment. It made her think twice about how much use she could really expect to be at work though and could only hope that the side effects would become less pronounced or more manageable as the cycles progressed.

"Ok, well, do you want me to retain some of the hair? It might not all go, especially if you try wearing a cold cap while you're receiving your treatments. We could cut it quite close to the scalp, almost like a very short pixie cut, so that you're not having to deal with completely losing it all at once and it'll be less noticeable if it does continue to thin out?" Charlotte trailed her fingers through the ends of the flowing hair she was about to desecrate, internally crying out at the injustice of sacrificing such beautiful locks.

"Not your first time dealing with this huh?" Jo asked, giving herself a few minutes to weigh up her options.

"Unfortunately not, no. My best friend was diagnosed with leukaemia a couple of years ago – her hair was longer than yours and when it started to fall out, she called me and asked me to help her disguise it. I won't lie to you, it will be a shock when you see yourself in a mirror and not just the first time either but it is a temporary side effect. Your hair will grow back once you've finished your chemo, then you can get back to looking like the you that you're used to or you can completely change your look again at that point and choose to have a completely fresh start to celebrate getting through the treatment cycles. You'll be a blank canvas." Lucy liked how straight talking but with a positive slant the coiffeur was being, happy that they had picked the right name from the phone book (even if she had been the fourth person they had contacted and the only one able to fit them in at such short notice!)

"What do you think Luce? I mean, you're going to have to look at it more than me realistically, what's your preference?" Jo asked quietly, eyes watery though whether from emotion or crushing fatigue, the younger woman couldn't discern.

"Sweetheart, you know it wouldn't make a difference to me if you decided to paint your head purple with gigantic pink polka dots on it but I do think that perhaps, to give us both time to adapt to it, leaving a short covering might be the way to go." Charlotte had to grin at the mental image the young brunette created with her vivid description. "However, regardless of what I think, this is about what's best for you. If you want it all gone from the get-go then say so and that's what will happen. What do _you_ think is the option which will allow you to deal with this best?"

"Would it be ok to try the short cut first and see what it feels like? If, after that, it still doesn't help, I can always shave the rest off myself."

"Nonsense, I'll do it for you if you want it doing, whether that be today or tomorrow or any day after that, ok? You have my number now and I will do whatever I can to fit you in anytime you call," Charlotte assured as she draped a protective cape around her customer's shoulders. "Now then, if you want me to stop at any point, if you need a break or anything, you just let me know." The hairdresser laid a supportive hand on the seated woman's shoulder as she reached for the water spray she carried and set about damping her hair thoroughly. Lucy placed a shaky hand over her mouth as she valiantly tried to tamp down her emotional response to the scene unfolding before her. She sucked in deep lungfulls of air, willing herself not to lose it in front of her lover, knowing that Jo needed her to be strong and supportive. Jo's eyes flickered shut as the first snip of the scissors sounded and remained resolutely closed, her face a stoic mask breached only by the silent tears which trickled across her cheeks, tears which were kept company by Lucy's now free-flowing own.

* * *

Sam looked up from where she and Angie were pouring over line after line of phone calls, sensing someone watching them. Neil hovered in the doorway, his face set with an uncertain expression as his gaze flickered between the two women.

"Could you give us a minute DC Walker?" Sam requested quietly, eyes never leaving the joint DI's face. Angie rose without a word, taking the sheet she had been studying with her so that she could continue to work while she waited for Sam and Neil to finish their discussion. Once she was out of the office, Neil stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Sam…," he paused, lips pursed together in a grim line. The blonde DI gripped the edge of her desk tightly, knuckles instantly losing their blood supply and turning a deathly shade of white. "I think you need to go to Lorna's. The body of a young girl matching Katie's description has been found."


	39. Chapter 39

**_It's that time again! Where do the weeks go? I figured I'd upload this now since I was away at a singing coaching weekend and am currently sleep deprived so not sure I'll be awake much longer! Lol._**

**_Thank you so much, A for Antechinus, Sez01 and iheartsergeantsmith for your reviews, I love reading them. And never feel like you have to apologise if you don't review for a couple of chapters or if you just want to review one chapter or none at all, I never expect readers to review, I just like to show my appreciation for those of you who do take the trouble to send me your comments :) I think you're all superstars._**

**_Anyway (do I really have to reiterate this every time?) I own absolutely zip so don't bother suing me. I'm making no profit nor money of any kind from this story, I'm just taking the characters out of storage to get some sun on their bones so they don't get rickets!_**

* * *

Jo looked at herself in the bathroom mirror as Lucy let Charlotte out. She barely recognised the woman looking back at her. Gone was her shoulder length, casually styled bob and in its place a short crop of closely cut hair which resembled a skull cap. Lucy and Charlotte had assured her that it looked fine, that it wasn't as bad as she felt it to be but gazing upon her reflection, she couldn't help but want to break her heart crying. Lucy closed the front door and padded softly towards where she had seen her lover wandering off to, wrapping her arms around her slim waist when she found the distressed woman and dropping a tender kiss against her strong, tightly clenched jaw.

"I feel…so…" Words failed Jo, everything that sprung to mind insufficient to explain how naked, how ugly, how worthless, how exposed, how vulnerable she felt. Knowing that there was little she could say to appease the woman she loved in that moment, Lucy opted to gently sing to her instead. Locking eyes with her girlfriend in the mirror, Lucy poured every ounce of emotion she could muster into the song excerpt which perfectly summed up what she wanted to say:

_"Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me_  
_Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy_  
_She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day_

_Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me_  
_And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see_  
_But every time she asks me 'do I look ok?', I say_

_When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change_  
_Cause you're amazing, just the way you are_  
_And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while_  
_Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are"_

_(Lyrics from Just The Way You Are, Bruno Mars)_

Both women had tears pouring down their faces as Lucy finished serenading Jo, arms still tightly wind around the taller woman's midsection. The administrator turned her head into Jo's neck, nuzzling her and dropping tender kisses all over the smooth column of flesh before twisting her around and reverently covering the detective's lips with her own. She cupped Jo's face, letting her fingers tangle in the savagely shorn locks where remaining wisps brushed her temples. Breaking their kiss briefly, she whispered against Jo's lips, "you're amazing just the way you are," before resuming their passionate make-out session.

* * *

Sam pulled up outside Lorna's house as dusk was setting in, a rising sense of dread permeating her core. Her hands shook and her knees felt like jelly as she climbed out of her vehicle. Grace was beside her in a matter of seconds, a supportive hand on her arm and a concerned frown adorning her face.

"You going to be ok in there?" DC Dasari asked softly.

Running a hand over her face in an attempt to quell her gathering tears, Sam nodded. "I have to be. We don't know for sure yet that it is Katie, I need to help Lorna focus on that until we know for definite one way or the other." Nodding sagely, Grace preceded Sam to the front door, ringing the bell and steeling herself for the news she was about to have to share. A haggard looking Lorna flung the door open, momentarily relieved to see Sam but her expression and Grace's presence seemed to register almost immediately.

"Come in," she croaked, standing back to allow them entry, leaning heavily against the wall for support. Grace stepped through the doorway first, walking a little way down the hall to make way for Sam. The blonde stopped just over the threshold, taking the door from her lover and closing it quietly, never once taking her eyes off the distraught Scot. "Tell me, Sam, please…" Lorna begged hoarsely.

It was the DC who spoke up. "Perhaps it would be better if we discussed this in the lounge?"

"Just tell me, have they found her? Have they found my baby girl?" Still the eye contact between the fiery redhead and the diminutive blonde remained unbroken, Sam's eyes imploring Lorna to heed Grace's request and at least be sitting down for the news.

"We don't know yet. A body matching Katie's description was found on part of an embankment beside the Thames…" Any further words were lost on Lorna as she slumped against the hallway wall, sliding down in a hail of tears even as Sam wrapped her arms around the devastated Scot.

"We had to tell you because it's possible it _might_ be Katie but nothing's certain yet. It might _not_ be her," Sam murmured in the taller woman's ear as she knelt before her, holding her for all she was worth. Heedless of their audience, Sam manoeuvred their bodies until she was seated on the floor beside her lover, cradling her close and dropping tender kisses into her hair as she offered words of hope and solace. The DI's own face was wet with tears, her voice choked and her body trembling as she too grieved at the possibility of losing such a vibrant young life.

"They never gave it a chance, they never stopped to see if we'd do as they instructed. They should have at least waited to see if we would follow their orders before they killed her and dumped her like she was garbage." Anger shone through Lorna's words, her muscles rigid with tension.

"Where's Moira, honey?" Sam asked gently, rubbing her hands in wide circles over her girlfriend's stiff back and shoulders.

"Lying down. She didn't sleep much last night, I told her to get some rest." Lorna pulled away from Sam's embrace, hauling herself to her feet shakily and stumbling through to the lounge. Sam watched her go worriedly but Grace prevented her from following immediately.

"Why don't you go wake the sister? I'll try to talk to Lorna a bit more."

"Yeah… yeah… ok… right… yeah I'll find Moira." Sam headed for the stairs in a daze. Lorna's rejection, mild as it was had stung more than she had anticipated. Rationally, she knew that the woman was not completely aware of her actions or how they might appear to others but that didn't stop the brief stabbing pain in her heart as Lorna had shrugged off her embrace. Standing outside Lorna's bedroom, Sam raised her hand to knock, watching it shake violently in the air.

"Come in," a groggy voice called from inside to darkened room. Sam put her head round the frame, peering in towards where she knew the bed to be. "Sam, what time is it?" Moira asked, still trying to rouse herself from her prematurely ended slumber.

"A little after five, I'm home early. There's been a… umm… a development," Sam watched as the covered mound in the bed took on a more human shape as Moira bolted upright and shed the duvet.

"What's happened? Have they found Katie? Is she ok?" Sam clenched and unclenched her jaw as she worked to deliver the news as professionally as she could, reaching in vain for the aloofness her training had instilled.

"Nothing's definite yet but… a body… of a young girl was found earlier today by the River Thames." Her voice choked and she was physically unable to utter anything further, her stomach roiling and causing her to bolt to the bathroom down the hallway, making it to the toilet just before she lost the meagre remains of her lunch. Moira chased after her, offering a cool, damp face cloth once Sam came up for air which was accepted with a weak 'thanks'.

"It's not Katie, it can't be Katie, I'd know if it was, I'd feel that she was gone and I don't. I know she's out there somewhere alive and needing our help. We will get her back, Sam, the Lord wouldn't show my sister such happiness only to destroy her. I trust in Him to bring her back to us." Sam envied the woman's stoic sense of faith in that moment, wishing that she shared such a belief but having seen too many lives shattered and destroyed on the whim of others to trust in anything other than the presence of indescribable, inexplicable evil in the world. "I need to be with Lorna… we both need to be with Lorna, she'll need us to be strong for her until she sees that this poor unfortunate soul is not our Katie." With one hand outstretched in invitation, Moira assisted Sam to get herself up off the floor, giving her a few moments to rinse her mouth out and wash up before ushering her back towards the stairs.

* * *

Grace watched the restless CSE pacing around the cosy room like a caged animal. She wished there was some way to speed up the identification process, hoping that the DNA labs were not backed up too much and that there wouldn't be any unnecessary delays in getting the results back to them. Given the nature of the case, she had been informed that a trusted officer would be escorting the evidence through the lab to make sure it was not compromised or 'lost' anywhere along the way.

"Lorna, is there anything you want to know? Anything I can try to find out for you?"

"How did she die?" Lorna responded without preamble.

"The coroner won't know for sure until after the post-mortem but it is a suspected overdose. There were fresh needle marks on the girls arms but no sign of long-term drug use. It didn't look like she had been in the actual water, initial investigation seemed to indicate rather that where she was found was either where she injected the drugs or where her body was dumped." Figuring that as a CSE, she would appreciate having something to visualise as though detached from the scene, Grace supplied more details about the surroundings. "The crime scene examiners have taken impressions of numerous footprints from around the body, the technicians are examining footage from CCTV from every available camera along the stretch of road nearest to that part of the river, there was no drugs paraphernalia found at the scene so we can safely assume it was removed or is long lost to the water by now."

"Who found her?" Still there was no cessation in the Scot's pacing and Grace was beginning to feel a little queasy at the constant motion.

"A barge worker spotted her from the river, called in the coast guard who took a closer look from the water and then called it in to us."

"How likely is that the body belongs to my daughter? Are we talking a vague resemblance or is it just a formality getting the results back? Why don't I just go and look at the body? I'll be able to tell you quicker than the DNA or dentistry results can come back whether it's Katie." Lorna fixed a level gaze on the visiting detective, finally stopping her patrolling long enough to glower across the room determinedly.

"Why put yourself through that?" Moira's voice was soft but filled with steel as she stepped in through the lounge door, closely followed by a pale, drawn, timid-looking Sam.

"What's the alternative? This limbo until the lab jumps through hoops? I need to know… I need to know right now if I've lost my daughter because some sick bastard can't keep it in his pants." Lorna's soft Scottish lilt became more pronounced as she became angrier and more agitated. "I've seen bodies before, I know what to expect."

"This is so very different though, Lorna. You wouldn't be viewing a body with professional, clinical detachment. You could end up haunted by the vision of your daughter on a mortuary slab, don't let that be your abiding memory of her. I'm not even sure it's an option at the moment, not until after the post-mortem has been conducted." Grace advised gently, noticing Sam's reticence to speak up, almost as though she were afraid to draw Lorna's attention to the fact she was still there.

"Then go do your job and find out. I want to see her. I want to see my daughter." Lorna's eyes held a fire in them which Moira reflexively recoiled from, having been on the receiving end of that ire before, many moons ago, and not willing to repeat the experience.

"Lorna…" Moira began before she was cut off.

"Get out, all of you, just get out and don't come back until I can see my daughter!" Lorna screamed ferociously.

* * *

Jo allowed herself to be pulled into the bedroom by Lucy, their kiss never ceasing, hands caressing any place they landed. She felt her body responding automatically to the stimulation the young brunette was providing and prayed that her renewed fears regarding her appearance wouldn't prevent them from seeing the evening through. Up until then, Lucy had been nothing but patient and kind, deferring to Jo's wishes to remain fully clothed but it appeared, that night, she wished to feel the press of flesh on flesh.

"Oh God Jo, I want to touch you so much," Lucy purred, hands working the taller woman's belt loose and unfastening the fly with remarkable ease. Jo hissed as the cool evening air wrapped around her now naked legs. The button down shirt she was wearing fell to just below her buttocks, covering the place she most wanted her girlfriend to be. Stepping out of the discarded jeans and kicking them out of harm's way, Jo steered Lucy towards the bed, her hands working to release the brunette from her own attire. Her heart pounded but she quelled her anxiety by assuring herself that Lucy would allow her to keep the shirt on, that being naked from the waist down would suffice.

"Please Luce, touch me." Jo's voice was raspy with need as she sunk onto the mattress and guided the young woman in next to her.

"I want to see you, all of you. I want to lie naked with you and make love to you, body, mind and soul." Lucy murmured, unsnapping buttons as she spoke beginning with those at the very base of the white cotton shirt.

"No…" The word fell somewhere between an order and a plea, Jo's hands trying to stop Lucy's ascent.

"Yes. You are so beautiful, I want to show you that I love every part of you. Please honey, let me love you." Lucy had successfully managed to avoid Jo's questing hands and undone the remaining buttons on the shirt. She ducked her head to kiss the toned, lean stomach she had uncovered, dipping her tongue seductively into Jo's belly button.

"Lucy," Jo whined, caught between her desire and her fear.

Still kissing her way up the writhing torso, Lucy murmured, "so beautiful," into the flushed skin, nuzzling gently the area just below Jo's bra-encased breasts. She pulled the older woman into a seated position, teasing the soft cotton from her shoulders and ridding her of the shirt whilst distracting her with a searing kiss. She concentrated on kissing Jo, on pouring all her love and passion into that kiss, to reassure her girlfriend, pausing and letting her adjust to the lack of barriers between them. When she felt Jo begin to relax, to acclimatise to her near-nakedness, Lucy allowed her hands to draw circles over the expanse of flesh at Jo's back, creeping inwards from her sides, caressing her shoulder blades, drawing ever closer to where the clasp of her bra lay. Expertly, she unfastened it, pressing her hands flat against Jo's skin and holding her against her body as she felt the woman readying to flee. "Stay with me baby," she husked against Jo's lips. She could feel the thundering heartbeat beneath her palms and realised just how petrified the older woman was. Lucy drew back slightly, far enough to see into the other woman's eyes but not so far as to separate their bodies, so as not to leave Jo feeling any more exposed and vulnerable than she already did. "I've got a suggestion that might make this more comfortable for you. How about I nip into the bathroom while you take your bra off and get under the covers? That way, you don't have to be naked in front of me if you're not ready for that yet." Jo simply nodded, unable to speak beyond the lump which had taken up residence in her throat. "Ok sweetie, give me a shout when you're ready." Lucy leant in and kissed Jo one last time before turning her head away and shuffling off the bed, stalking into the bathroom with a seductive sway in her hips.

Jo eased her bra down her arms and off her body entirely. She yearned to grab a baggy t-shirt but knew that would disappoint Lucy so despite her misgivings, Jo climbed beneath the heavy duvet, turning to lie on her side facing away from where her lover would settle and tucked the covers up high around her body. She wanted to make love to the young woman, she truly did, but it was proving too much to cope with, first losing her hair and then being naked for the first time in her company since her surgery. She called over her shoulder to alert Lucy it was safe to re-enter the bedroom, holding the duvet tightly in her clenched fist. She felt her muscles tense at the sounds of her lover's approach, squeezing her eyes tightly closed as the lithe young brunette slipped beneath the covers.

Seeing her girlfriend turned away from her, body coiled with nervous tension, Lucy opted to scoot close behind, making no reference to the fact that Jo was still hiding from her. "Mmm, you feel so good," she whispered as she spooned Jo from behind, her hand grazing across her hip before curling around her abdomen and possessively pulling her tighter against her own body.

"I'm sorry," Jo murmured sadly, wishing she could find the strength of spirit to turn over and face her lover.

"You've nothing to be sorry for, this is perfect for now. I can feel you against me, that's all I need." Lucy dropped a sweet kiss on the back of Jo's shoulder, content for the moment to just hold the other woman, to reassure her that there were no feelings of regret or neglect. After a long, comfortable silence, through which Lucy relished the feel of Jo's muscles becoming more pliant beneath her hands, she whispered seductively, "can I touch you?" Lucy dipped her hand just a little lower on her lover's abdomen to indicate where she meant to touch her.

"You don't have to…" Jo protested, fearing the young woman was only do so out of obligation.

"Oh I know that but I want to. I want to so very, very much," Lucy confirmed.

"You do?" There was wonder and astonishment in Jo's voice, her head twisted around to meet Lucy's gaze. Rather than replying verbally, Lucy lowered her lips to Jo's own in a heated, passionate kiss as her fingers traced a tantalising path ever lower. Gripping Jo's toned thigh, she hiked the detective's leg up draping it over her own hip, granting her greater access to her lover's centre. She let her fingertips graze against the sensitive skin of Jo's inner thigh, pleased to see it quiver in response to her ministrations, assuring her that the other woman was into this as much as she herself was. Lucy slid her fingers through the sparse patch of coarse hair between Jo's legs, pushing lower until she encountered her swollen lips. The brunette parted those lips dipping the barest hint of a fingertip into the hot cavern, not entirely surprised to find it a little dry. She had expected Jo's nervousness and anxiety regarding her body image to overrule her natural responses to desire. Cooing continuous reassurances to her lover, she reached behind her for the bottle she had retrieved when she went into the bathroom and liberally coated her hand with the water-based lubricant. She added a little more to her fingertips before replacing the bottle and returning to her previous position. Dipping her fingers back into the heated core of her lover, she smeared the lubricant through the folds, drawing alternating ever decreasing circles around the older woman's clit and entrance. Jo hissed in a breath at the feel of the cool liquid meeting her overheated flesh.

"I've got you sweetheart. Just relax and let me show you how gorgeous you are, how you drive me wild and make me want to ravish you no matter where we are or who's around." Lucy purred further words of reassurance into her lover's ear as she continued her sensual massage. She slid her fingers through the now slick folds, Jo's own natural juices beginning to flow once more as she succumbed to the ministrations of her partner. Jo moved her leg higher onto Lucy's hip, opening herself up more in encouragement for the other woman to take her. Needing no further invitation, the young woman pressed a fingertip into Jo's core, assessing her body's readiness to accept such an intrusion before pushing further in. She started a gentle rhythm, circling the brunette's sensitive nub with her thumb. The feeling of being loved in this way was driving Jo mad; so much and yet not enough, the light pressure where she needed it awakening a yearning in her stronger than she could have imagined was possible but at the same time failing to satisfy her hunger. She whimpered softly, a quiet keening as she rocked her hips in an attempt to prolong the contact, to deepen the penetration. "What is it, baby? Are you ok with this?"

"More… I need…I need…" Jo's breathing was becoming more shallow as her arousal increased.

Lucy took pity on her, working a second finger into her opening and angling her body so that she could push further, deeper inside, curling her digits as they retreated to caress the spongy area she knew would bring her lover to the brink. "You're so hot, so damn sexy! I love feeling you; feeling your muscles gripping my fingers, feeling your hips grinding into mine, feeling your juices on my hand." Lucy picked up her pace as she spoke, thrusting into her lover with fervour, encouraging her to allow herself the relief of orgasm. Her thumb pressed down firmly on the distended bundle of nerves at the apex of Jo's folds, drawing a low guttural moan of pleasure from the older woman. Moments later, Jo spasmed in Lucy's arms, muscles convulsing as she plummeted over the precipice. Hot tears coursed across her cheeks at the sheer unadulterated joy she felt, the euphoria of lying naked beside her lover in the afterglow of a spectacular orgasm overwhelming her. She felt herself being cradled and gently rocked as she came down, words of affection and support being cooed into her ear.

"You're amazing," Jo breathed once she had recovered sufficiently. Summoning all her strength, emotional and physical, she rolled onto her back and gathered the young woman in close beside her. "I love you so much. Thank you." It was insufficient, Jo felt, to express the depth of her gratitude, but there were no words which would accurately convey that so instead, she allowed her actions to speak for her. She guided the brunette part of the way on top of her so that Lucy was straddling her thigh. She encouraged the lithe woman to ride the firm limb, to bring the release she knew she must be craving. Jo noticed that Lucy was careful to keep her eyes away from the expanse of flesh which was exposed by the movement. Whilst she was grateful for the consideration her lover was showing, she also felt how restrained Lucy was being in her movements and suddenly needed to let her lover explore her as freely as she wanted to. Rather than voicing her wish, she simply reached out for Lucy's closest hand and brought it to rest in the valley between her breasts, eyes imploring the young woman to understand what was being asked of her.

"Are you sure baby?" Jo nodded, eyes dusky with lust as she watched the petite woman's arousal surge. "Any time it gets too much or doesn't feel good, I'll stop ok? You just say the word and I'll stop." Lucy dipped her head, trailing kisses over the exposed collarbone and down each arm in turn, taking care to avoid the PICC line, where her chemotherapy was administered. Her lips traced a path through the valley where their hands had lain entwined, her eyes closing in relieved delight as Jo ran her fingers through Lucy's hair, applying pressure to guide the young woman across to her exposed left breast. She reverently worshipped the pliant flesh; kissing, nipping and sucking, distracting her lover from the path her left hand was taking. She took the taut, erect nipple into her hot, wet mouth, teasing it lightly with her teeth as she allowed her fingertips to graze its twin on Jo's other breast. Jo steeled herself against her natural instincts to shrink away from the contact, willing herself to remain calm, to focus on how it felt for her girlfriend to touch her in such an intimate way rather than give in to the fears regarding her own attractiveness. Sensing the fight raging within the other woman, Lucy placed a gentle palm over Jo's ravaged breast, holding it still and simply cradling it in an almost protective gesture, whilst continuing to worship her other mammary with tender care. Jo felt tears prick at her eyes at the realisation that the intuitive woman could read her so well, could sense her reactions, both conscious and subconscious. The knowledge that she understood through the tensing of miniscule muscles that Jo was battling with herself and had instinctively reacted in a way meant to both soothe and inflame stole the breath from the brunette's lungs. The detective became aware of her lover's mouth moving lower, kissing across the smooth expanse of her stomach, descending ever lower. When that talented mouth latched on to her core, drinking in the evidence of her desire as fast as it produced new floods of arousal, Jo let rip a throaty cry of ecstasy, body convulsing with another strong orgasm.

"Oh… my… God," Jo groaned as she lay spent and sated against the plush mattress. "Damn woman, get up here so I can kiss you senseless!" Lucy chuckled, placing one last gentle kiss against her lover's pubic bone before acquiescing to the request and scrambling back up the bed. She lay in the cocoon of Jo's arm, pulled tightly against her left side, head resting against her broad shoulder as they shared a deep, soulful kiss. With Lucy suitably distracted, Jo allowed her right hand to snake down between their bodies, sliding into the molten heat which heralded the height of her arousal.

"Unnnngghhh Jo." Lucy's voice was thick with desire, her legs parting to grant easier access for her lover. Jo wasted no time in utilising the extra space, plunging two fingers deep into the younger woman's sodden centre, closing her eyes in bliss at the welcoming, wet warmth. Expertly, Jo brought her partner to the brink of her climax multiple times, playing her body like a finely tuned instrument, before finally allowing her to topple over the peak and into oblivion. The buxom brunette was there to catch her lover as she came down to earth again, kissing her face softly and murmuring words of love. They lay entwined for many silent minutes, each basking in the sensations created by the coupling. Feeling her energy levels flagging, Jo clasped her lover's hand in her own and rested them back between her breasts as she succumbed to the pull of sleep. The last thing she was aware of was Lucy pressing a kiss to her shoulder and whispering a heartfelt, "I love you." With an intense sense of acceptance and hope, Jo drifted off into a restful sleep.


	40. Chapter 40

**_Whooooooop 100 reviews in total! Wow, I'm humbled beyond words. Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to review so far, I really do appreciate your continued support (especially given the extended hiatus it went on!) and thank you to A for Antechinus and iheartsergeantsmith for the reviews on the last chapter - glad it provoked the kind of reactions I was going for! :o)_**

**_So yeah yeah, onto the boring disclaimer part (seriously why, we're 40 chapters in, do you think I'm going to claim some kind of ownership this late to the party?) I own nothing, I make no profit or money from this, I'm just exercising my muse with some characters who are otherwise languishing in the annals of tv history._**

**_And now, on with the show..._**

* * *

"One of us should stay, despite what she says she shouldn't be on her own right now," Moira muttered as herself, Sam and Grace all huddled together in the entrance hall of Lorna's home.

"Grace, could you head back to the station and make enquiries about the possibility of a visual identification of the body? At this stage, I doubt it's possible but at least if you have the answers, it might help Lorna in some sense," Sam requested of her colleague, casting a fretful glance back at the doorway to the lounge where her lover had resumed pacing. With a brief firm nod, DC Dasari slipped out of the front door to do as she had been asked, offering promises to be in touch as soon as she knew anything more. The two remaining women watched one another, each mentally sizing up who would be best placed to appease the agitated Scot. "You've known her longer than me, what do you think is the best way to do this?" Sam enquired softly, fearful of being sent away but also of staying in case her presence only made things more difficult.

"Honestly, I don't know, Sam. I've never seen her like this, not even after James. I don't know how to reach out to her but I can't just do as she told us and leave her by herself." Moira's voice was rough from her own tears, fear clutching at her throat and making the formation of words a struggle.

"I want to stay, I want to be with her but I don't know if doing that right now would make things worse. The last thing I want to do is to make her feel like she's under even more pressure, like I'm only around because we've just begun this relationship and it's expected that I'll stand by her. I need to talk to her, to get her to listen to me and I need to make sure she gets some proper rest. Has she slept at all since I left this morning?" The DI was increasingly worried as her lover completed endless circuits of the cramped living room, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she wasn't alone.

Moira shook her head, watching the other woman sadly, "no, she insisted I lay down but unless she slept while I did, she's running on whatever sleep you managed to settle her enough for last night."

"Two hours, at most, then. Just in case, do you know the name and number of her GP? I'm hoping it won't come to it but I'd like to know we're prepared just in case she won't let herself rest." The blonde braced herself, hand resting on the doorknob, as she readied herself to go back into the lounge.

"I know where to find it if we need it," Moira assured. "I'll hang back, wait in the kitchen, give you and her some space. Give me a shout if you need anything." Turning away from the doorway, Sam wrapped her lover's sister in a brief tight hug.

"I know this can't be easy for you either but I really appreciate your strength and support and I'm sure Lorna does too," Sam whispered sincerely as she pulled away, ducking into the lounge without giving Moira chance to respond.

There was no recognition of her presence, no indication that Lorna was even aware she had company in the confined space, as Sam stood just inside of the doorway surveying the scene and formulating a plan. She watched and waited as Lorna completed a further two circuits of the room, passing almost within touching distance of her position, before she made her move. On the third pass, Sam fell into step beside her, not speaking, not touching, just being there beside her, navigating around furniture and obstacles to keep pace.

"I told you to leave." The tone was dead, flat, emotionless. The taller woman offered no break in her stride, no pause in her step, not even a sideways glance.

"And yet I'm still here," Sam responded evenly, matching Lorna step for step, never wavering from her own path in the hopes of avoiding crowding the already spooked CSE.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" Lorna spun on her heel and switched direction, circling back the way she had come.

Sam followed a fraction of a second later. "What kind of person would I be if I abandoned you at a time like this? How could I leave you and still purport to care about you in any way?"

"I can't do this. I can't handle you making this about us right now."

"It's not about us in any other sense than first and foremost I am your friend and friends do not leave each other to suffer and struggle and grieve alone."

"I can't give you what you want. Please just go." Desperation was creeping back into Lorna's voice as though she was having a battle to remain aloof and detached.

"And what is it that you think I want?" Sam asked, growing tired of the incessant march and stepping in front of Lorna as she moved, effectively trapping her in a corner beside the chair beneath the window. Lorna attempted to dodge out around her but Sam still matched her move for move, giving her no room to escape. The tall Scot emitted a warning growl but Sam still refused to back down. "What do I want from you that you can't give?"

"I… I… you… we…" Lorna floundered, seeming to run out of steam as her words dried up.

"I know you're scared. I know you're hurting so badly it's almost more than you can bear. I know you're angry and confused and want to lash out to release some of that pent up tension inside you. I understand that your only focus is and can be on your daughter, your family, right now. I don't expect you to be a girlfriend, a lover, a partner right now. I just want you to be you, to do what you need to do, what you feel you have to do and I want you to be safe in the knowledge that, whilst I'm not going through exactly what you're going through, I will be by your side, supporting you through it all without any kinds of expectations. There isn't a thing in the world I want from you right now other than your honesty... and maybe an assurance that you'll at least think about getting some food and some sleep once in a while." As she spoke each heartfelt word, Sam pressed a little closer to the jittery redhead, forcing her to take a seat in the chair at her back.

"How can I? How can I even think about food or sleep when my little girl could still be out there having who knows what done to her by those men? What if she needs me and I'm asleep and can't get to her?"

"What if she needs you and you're too tired, too weak from lack of food and sleep, to get to her?" Sam countered softly.

"What if it's really her in the morgue? What will I do then?" The full extent of her devastation shone through in her voice, eyes glistening with tears she refused to shed.

"Then you will learn to go on living, to do all the things Katie would want you to do. You'll take each day as it comes and you'll be supported and surrounded by those of us who care about you and whom you will allow to help you."

"I can't… I can't go through this… not again. James…" Lorna slumped forward, arms folded across her knees, head resting against her forearms, her posture and her words screaming defeat. Sam crouched down in front of her, sliding her arms alongside Lorna's thighs to steady herself as much as to offer support.

"I'll help you find the strength to, as will Moira and all your friends. I know it seems hopeless at the moment and too hard to contemplate learning to live with but people do get through situations like this and learn to go on." Sam wished that she could offer more; promises that Katie would be fine, that the body found her not been hers, promises that Lorna would soon find comfort and solace from the world around her, promises that she could keep but there were no such assurances she could give. Leaning in closer, she ran one hand up her lover's taut back, resting her head beside Lorna's bowed own in an awkward embrace. Moira hovered in the doorway with silent tears streaking over her cheeks. She had fully intended to remain in the kitchen unless her presence was required but as the minutes ticked on, the quiet had crowded in on her, making her already fraught nerves raw with worry. On silent feet, she crossed the lounge, crouching in front of Lorna on the opposite side to Sam and wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders, burying her own head in between their bowed ones.

* * *

"Lorna wants to make a visual identification of the body. She doesn't want to wait around for DNA and dentist records to come back. Any chance the coroner will hold off on the PM and let us show Lorna the girl if we promise no evidence will be compromised?" Grace knew it was a long shot but felt compelled to ask DI Manson anyway, if for no other reason than so she could honestly tell Sam she had tried.

"Not a chance. With the amount of scrutiny this case will be under if that body does turn out to be Katie Hart, we can't afford any suggestion that the chain of evidence was tampered with, however slight that possibility might be. We've seen firsthand how the people behind this whole operation work. If we're going to get them, we have to do everything by the book and make a watertight case." Neil ran a hand over his jaw, feeling the vague stubble beginning to break the surface of his chin and remembering that he had not had time to shave before heading into work that day. Undoubtedly, by the time his shift ended, he would be sporting a distinct five o'clock shadow. "I understand why Lorna would want it over with as soon as possible but for the sake of ensuring our best chance at getting justice, we have to let the post-mortem go ahead first. The DNA results should be back within the next 24 hours. I know that'll seem like a lifetime to the family but it's better we do this right than risk it all backfiring on us somewhere down the line."

"You didn't see her, Neil. 24 hours won't be a lifetime to her, it'll be an eternity of self-recrimination and endless questioning. She ordered everyone to leave, completely, she just shut down. I can't imagine what Sam must be going through right now." Grace was not normally one to gossip about her co-workers private affairs but since it was intrinsically tied to the case and they were alone in Neil's office, she felt safe enough to let her guard down slightly.

"Sam's professional enough to know how to handle it. She might no longer be actively investigating the case but she would never jeopardise a conviction arising from it," Neil replied coolly, not understanding the depth of her connection to the family.

"I doubt professionalism will help her much right now. The daughter of her partner is missing presumed dead, her best friend is battling breast cancer and she's in the midst of one of the biggest cases this force has ever been a part of. Do you not think she's entitled to be feeling the pressure just a little?" Grace snapped testily. She cared for Neil a great deal but honestly, sometimes the man could be so obtuse!

"Sam… and Lorna? I thought… Jack said conflict of interest, I just assumed it was because of her involvement in the investigation. How long has that been going on?" Neil asked, genuinely shocked. He hadn't seen that coming, in fact he had still been harbouring suspicions that Sam cared more for Stuart's welfare than she was leading him to believe.

"Does it make a difference? All that matters right now, surely, is that we can't treat Sam as a colleague in this. We can't depend on her to think with her DI mind when she's going to be focused on being there for Lorna as part of the family. I think we need to make it clear to them both that there's no way Lorna can view the body, at least not until after the autopsy and only if we get confirmation that it's Katie."

"And by 'we', you mean me?" DI Manson enquired with a tiny hint of a smile in his eye.

"Well, Guv," Grace intoned, emphasising his title, "I think Sam is more likely to accept it from you than from me. We might have to treat her like a civilian but she still outranks me!"

"OK, well why don't we head over there at the end of the shift? We can inform them both of what they need to let happen and then maybe I could interest you in a drink?" The slender brunette DI cocked an eyebrow as he regarded his companion, a woman with whom he had had numerous flirtations over the years but never really pursued. He wondered if it wasn't perhaps time to remedy that.

"I'd like to Neil, but perhaps not tonight? I'm exhausted and really, I'd just rather get my head down for a few hours before I'm back here. Tomorrow's my last day on for three though so could we take a rain-check?" Grace absentmindedly fiddled with the blotter on Neil's desk, nudging it with her fingertips until it was perfectly aligned against the straight edge.

"A rain-check it is," Neil replied quietly, allowing himself to feel a small glimmer of hope that there might yet be a future for himself and the enigmatic, raven-haired detective.

* * *

Sam heard her mobile phone ring again, having ignored it the previous two times in favour of continuing to assist Moira with getting Lorna up the stairs and into bed. Snatching the irritating device out of her pocket, she glanced at the display, frowning in confusion when her own home number came up. She stepped back out into the hallway, moving a little away from the bedroom.

"Hello?"

"Mum, thank God, where are you?" Abi's voice screeched hysterically through the speaker and into Sam's ear, making the older woman wince noticeably.

"I'm at a friend's house, why? What's the matter?" Sam was tired and as much as she loved her daughter and grandson, she wasn't sure she had the energy for one of her dramas.

"When will you be home? I need to stay for a few days, Mike and I need some time apart." Mike was Abi's latest boyfriend, a pleasant, well-meaning young man who obviously adored the younger Nixon and her son but was perhaps too laidback for his own good.

"I'm not sure I will be home tonight, Abigail, I need to stay here." Though their relationship had improved over the years, especially since Jared's birth, there were still times when Abi's selfishness instantly riled Sam's temper. She attempted to take a step back and be more tolerant, realising that her daughter had not been privy to the happenings of the previous weeks; she had no idea about her relationship with Lorna, or her involvement in the high profile investigation into the paedophile ring, nor about Katie's disappearance.

"So you're off enjoying the 'company' of a 'friend' rather than supporting your daughter through a traumatic break-up? Nice to know you put getting laid above helping out your family, Mum!"

"Abigail Clare Nixon, that was unnecessary and uncalled for. You know nothing about my circumstances at the moment but I can guess with fair certainty what yours are. Once again, you've been picking and picking and picking at your poor boyfriend over something trivial because you wanted a reason for a fight and when he finally gave in and fought back, you walked out." Sam released a tired sigh, "look Abi, I'm sorry things are difficult between you and Mike right now but I'm where I have to be. A very good friend of mine, her daughter has been abducted and earlier today she was informed that a body has been found which matches her description. Please understand that it's not that I don't care about you, just that right now, someone else needs me more. I need to be here for her right now, at least until we know for sure whether it was her daughter who was found."

"I'm sorry for your friend, Mum, really I am, but I'm family, doesn't that take priority? We rarely get to see you as it is, your grandson adores you and doesn't get to spend enough time with you. Doesn't your friend have other family who can take care of her?" Abi whined into the receiver of her mother's phone, scowling at the thought of the woman dropping everything to run to her friend's side.

"It's complicated and not something I wish to get into right now over the telephone. Feel free to stay as long as you need to, help yourself to anything in the cupboards and fridge. You know where everything is. Once I know what's what and I know when I can get away, I'll call and tell you. If you're still there when I do come home, I'll see you then. If not, we'll make some time soon to get together and talk." Sam's tone brooked no argument, realising that appealing to Abi's better nature was futile once her mind was made up on something. And right at that moment, Abi had obviously decided that Sam's place was with her and nothing and no one else mattered.

* * *

Jo awoke to a dark room and a cold, empty bed. Rolling onto her side, she squinted at the clock on the table beside her bed attempting to make sense of the digital display. She groaned when she saw that it was just short of midnight. Knowing that she wouldn't get back to sleep unless she quieted her restless mind and assured herself that Lucy hadn't run off, the newly shorn brunette clambered out from beneath the duvet, swiftly snatching up the oversized t-shirt and checked brushed cotton trousers which currently served as her pyjamas and dressing herself. Despite having fallen asleep in such a haze of contentment, she couldn't seem to silence that niggling little voice in the back of her mind which still pushed her to believe Lucy would bolt at the first opportunity. Creeping stealthily down the stairs, the detective listened keenly for any sounds of her lover's whereabouts. A quiet knock signalled the placement of a glass tumbler onto the kitchen table or work surface. Jo followed the noise, standing in the doorway to her kitchen – their kitchen – and allowing herself a moment to admire the sensuous body wrapped in just a simple, shimmering maroon robe. Her girlfriend's attire assured her that the young woman had no intention of running off into the night, at least not any time soon.

"Hey baby, the bed's mighty cold without you there you know," Jo murmured tenderly, slinking across the kitchen and wrapping her arms around her lover's waist, dropping a brief series of kisses against her cheek and exposed neck.

"Sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to wake you up. My brain wouldn't keep quiet enough to let me sleep so I got up, I didn't want my tossing and turning to disturb you." Lucy kept her weight slightly rocked forward, conscious of not wanting to lean her weight onto Jo's still tender chest. She did manage to twist her neck sideways and meet the taller woman's lips with her own in an exploratory kiss which left them both flushed with desire.

"This is how it works, ok? If you expect me to wake you if ever I can't sleep during the night, I expect the same of you as well. I seem to spend most of my time sleeping at the moment so keeping you company for a while when you're up is no hardship to me at all, I'll soon catch it up elsewhere," Jo cautioned, gazing intently into the young woman's mesmerising eyes. "Want to grab a brew and sit cuddled up under a blanket on the couch while we chat about whatever's keeping you awake?"

"You're sweet to offer but really you should get back to bed. It's too cold to be down here in just a t-shirt, you'll catch a chill." Lucy trembled slightly in Jo's embrace, a miniscule movement which the DC mistook for a shiver.

"And you're so much more suitably dressed aren't you? Are you hiding a full jumpsuit beneath that robe Ms Sorella?" As Jo asked her teasing question, one hand slipped inside the gap between the two folds of the silky material, sliding her hand over cool, naked flesh. "Mm-hmm, just as I thought. Don't fob me off, love. I won't sleep until I know you're ok and resting with me." The hand closed over a succulent breast, simply resting there as though testing its weight in her palm.

"Jo…" Lucy groaned arching into the touch. "Torture is not an acceptable interrogation technique in this day and age, you know?"

"Torture? You call this torture? Oh darlin', you ain't seen nothing yet!" Jo quipped, tweaking the burgeoning nipple bud between her thumb and forefinger, rolling it and tugging on it playfully. Moving her lips to rest beside her lover's ear, she whispered huskily, "I could get you so turned on, so desperate to cum, that you'd tell me whatever I wanted to know just so I'd get you off if I really wanted to torture you."

"Oh fuck…" Lucy's swarthy skin was flushed with a rosy hue, her head lolled back onto Jo's broad shoulder and her breath came out in short pants as a fresh flood of arrival seeped from her core coating not just her sex but the tops of her inner thighs too.

"I intend to…" Jo breathed, rocking her hips forward into Lucy's own before pulling away and retrieving her hand, "but first we are going to talk. I don't care if it's here, the lounge or back up in bed but we are talking about why you're awake."

* * *

Lorna's head rose wearily from where it had been drooping between her knees as Sam re-entered the bedroom. The dynamic blonde offered a gentle smile, crossing the room and dropping onto the bed beside her lover, sliding a hand across the back of her shoulders and rubbing at the tense muscles.

"Why don't you lie down and try to get a bit more comfortable?"

"Who was on the phone?" Lorna countered almost belligerently.

"Abigail. She came home and was checking where I was," Sam admitted with a frown, not wanting to talk about her own daughter in case it made Lorna's situation even more painful for her.

"What are you doing here then? You should be with her." A mournful sigh escaped from Lorna's lips, her eyes drifting closed to mask her anguish.

"She doesn't need me with her, she just needed somewhere to escape to after the latest spat with her boyfriend of the moment. I'd rather be here, with you," she replied, placing her free hand over Lorna's clasped fists. The fiery Scot's head snapped up at that statement, eyes moist but filled with incredulity.

"Don't you dare waste a single second you have with that girl, not one single solitary second. You never know when it might be the last you'll get. So you get yourself home and show her how much she means to you. I'm a big girl, I'll be fine." Moira observed the exchange with interest, opting to remain a silent witness. She understood the sentiment behind her sister's assertion but doubted her final statement was wholly accurate.

"I don't want to leave you…" Sam confessed tenderly.

"Go to Abi. Please do this for me. If anything happened to her, what would that do to us? How would we get past that? It would destroy any kind of relationship between us, over time you'd come to resent having spent that time with me instead of with her and as an extension, resent me too. Please don't make me live with that as well." There was a weary resignation, a desolate acceptance that her perception would indeed come to pass, that Abi would come to harm if Sam were to stay.

Finally Moira spoke up, sensing the battle raging within her sister's partner and knowing that further discourse would only lead to greater tension. "I'll stay here, I'll keep Lorna company and we'll ring you as soon as we have anything new to tell you."

With a heavy heart, Sam nodded her agreement knowing when she was fighting a losing battle. The blonde dynamo wrapped her lover in a firm embrace, squeezing her tightly and brushing her lips over her cheek. Sam indicated she would see herself out as she fled from the room. Lorna retained her stoic poise until the dull click of the front door's lock sounded as it engaged, signalling Sam's departure, then the Scot's posture collapsed, her facade slipping to reveal the full extent of her devastation at having to let her rock go.

"That was a very selfless thing you just did, Lol," Moira assured, trying to sooth her sibling as she pulled her into a warm hug.

"Then why do I feel like my soul just walked out of that door?" Lorna sobbed.


	41. Chapter 41

**_Happy Easter to those of you to whom it matters and if you're getting time off work/school/college/uni, hope you enjoy it! Alas, I'm behind with my work due to various commitments so I'll be in the office all over the Bank Holiday weekend :( Hey ho. Anyway, enough whining, on to a big thank you to those who have read the last chapter, as always a special thanks to A for Antechinus and Sez01 for dropping a review as well, it's always a pleasure to hear what you think of where the story's going :)_**

**_Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING in the entire world! NOT! I own a paperclip and a few staples but I don't own anything to do with The Bill. This story is purely for fun. No profit or money of any kind is made from it. The plot, however, is my own - not that anyone else would want to lay claim to it!_**

* * *

"Feel up to talking yet, love?" Jo asked quietly having been cradling the younger woman against her body beneath a blanket on the couch for a little over ten minutes without a word being uttered. Feeling the slight tensing of muscles that she knew would undoubtedly herald further objections to Jo staying awake, the brunette hurried to assure Lucy, "I'm happy to stay here all night with you if that's what you need but I really do think that you'd do better talking to me and then you might get some sleep. I know you don't have to work tomorrow but still, being up into the small hours of the morning isn't going to do you any good in the long run. Especially not if you're just keeping yourself awake mithering over things."

"Don't you ever just want to scream and shout at the injustice of everything?" Lucy questioned timidly, her face still buried in her lover's neck.

"Of course I do, frequently," Jo replied sincerely, waiting for further clarification on what precisely had led to Lucy's outburst.

"How do you hold it together and do your job when you see this kind of stuff happening? I mean, what has Katie ever done to anyone? She's just a kid; a harmless, innocent young girl with her whole life ahead of her. Why would someone want to take that and destroy it? What gives anyone the right to do that to any other human being?" Once the floodgates opened, Lucy found all her frustrations and anxieties pouring out of her without censor. "And why you? Why do _you_ have to be sick? Why couldn't it be someone else? Anyone else, I don't care. Except I _do_ care, I care so much that it makes me ill to wish something like that on someone else just so you wouldn't have to go through it. It makes me feel like an evil, cruel, despicable person for thinking that way and I hate myself for it but I can't help it. I can't help wishing that everything was ok, that I could go to sleep and wake up in the morning to find Katie hadn't been abducted and you weren't sick and my boss wasn't an obsequious toad who seems to be obsessed with me ever since I told him I was a lesbian."

Immediately, Jo's hackles rose as she honed in on that final wish, wondering if the man hadn't tried something more than Lucy had already made her aware of. "Has he touched you? Did he hurt you or already try it on?"

"No…no not really, no. I was daydreaming while making a coffee the other day – thinking about you actually – and he came in behind me. It might have been innocent, there's not all that much space in the staff room, but when he moved past me to get to the kettle, his hand touched my bum, just briefly brushed against it, not like groped it or anything. Like I say, I can't be sure it was deliberate and I certainly couldn't prove anything."

"He still has no right being that close to you in the first place, it's completely inappropriate. Sweetheart, please promise me that you'll tell me if anything else like that happens? Anything at all. And keep a log of everything that he does which makes you feel uncomfortable, even if it seems trivial. I hope that it doesn't come to it, but there might come a day when you need it all as evidence against him." Ever the police officer, Jo's mind had already turned to prosecuting the man for sexual assault or at the very least suing him for sexual harassment. "As for the rest, you are not an evil person for wishing this wasn't happening to me. If you had a specific target in mind, someone you were actually wishing this type of illness on, then yes, I might agree that that would be somewhat cruel – you're not are you? You don't have a voodoo doll somewhere of a sworn enemy or something?" Jo grinned as her lover swatted her arm.

"No I don't smart arse," Lucy responded with a playful nudge. "But it doesn't make me feel any better about wishing it."

"Honey, don't you think I've had the same thoughts? Don't you think I would give anything for this not to be happening to me? To us? Does that make me horrible? No, it just makes me human. It just means that I'd really rather be healthy and enjoying a happy, fulfilled life with my beautiful young lover instead of spending all my free time getting treatments which will either cure me or kill me, sleeping or puking my guts up. No one wishes they had to go through something like this, baby. Please, please don't beat yourself up for struggling to deal with it. Hell, I'm grateful that I'm not the only one finding it hard to cope with. You've been such a rock since this whole ordeal began, so strong, so put together, so supportive of me that I was beginning to wonder if I was just some inordinate wimp whenever I felt like falling apart. You don't have to be stoic and always so strong in front of me love. If you're hurting, it's ok to show it, in fact sometimes I think it might actually help me if we had a good cry together instead of me always crying on you."

"I'll try but I just don't want to add to your troubles. You've enough going on without adding my demons to the battle."

"For as long as we're in a partnership, Luce, your demons are my demons. It's a two way street, you help me conquer my fears and my dark days and I'll do the same for you. Together, we'll get through this and whatever else life throws our way." Jo pulled the young raven-haired beauty closer still, dropping a sweet kiss against her forehead and resting her cheek against her crown. "And honey, you need to try to stop wondering why there is evil in the world, why there are some people content to steal another's innocence or joy or even their life. Those kinds of questions are age-old and I suspect will forever remain inadequately answered. Tying yourself in knots worrying about it won't serve any purpose. And just like you pointed out to me earlier, perhaps what is best for both of us right now is to be available for Sam and Lorna as their friends, to support both of them through a difficult time and at least let them know that they're not alone." Lucy nodded realising the advice was sound but knowing that it would take more than that for her brain to accept the concept that bad things just happened.

"Thanks babe," she murmured, mind still troubled but at least feeling less alone in her turmoil.

"Why don't we go back to bed? You never know, sleep might find you a little easier if you're lying down." Jo refused to take no for an answer, whisking the blanket from around them and hauling herself to her feet before reaching down for Lucy's hand.

* * *

Sam pulled up outside her house, slewing her electric-blue Peugeot to the kerb haphazardly with little care or attention. From there, it would appear that no one was home. No lights were on, the curtains at the front of the building still stood open. For a brief moment, the DI wondered if Abi had taken off again when her mother had refused to give in to her pressure but knowing it was highly unlikely, Sam climbed out of the vehicle, thumbing the remote central locking button and making her way to the front door. As she stepped inside and pulled the door closed behind her, a crushing sense of loneliness gripped her. Veering off from her intended course up the stairs, the blonde found herself collapsing onto the sofa, curling onto her side and pulling her knees to her chest. Silent, wracking sobs shook her tired body as she let her anguish out finally; for Katie, for Lorna, for Jo, for what had almost happened to their friendship, for Lucy, for Dawid and all the other innocent victims who had fallen prey to the paedophile ring.

"Mum?" Abi's groggy voice broke through Sam's grief-ridden state. The younger blonde rushed to her mother's side as she took in the tears, the broken and beaten body language. "Mum, what is it? What's the matter?" All thoughts of her own recent dramas were superseded by the need to comfort a woman who had stood by her throughout so many trials.

"It's just been a long week, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I wasn't even sure you were still here." Sam attempted to distance herself from her daughter's touch, sitting up and moving along the sofa, knees drawn up to her chest still, arms wrapped around her shins, hands clenched tightly together.

"Is it work? Has something happened? Did they find that missing girl of your colleague's?" Abi, not to be deterred sat herself at the other end of the couch, one leg tucked underneath her body as she angled herself towards where Sam was now seated.

"We don't know, not yet. It's possible. They found a body but they've not been able to positively identify it yet." Suddenly restless, Sam got up and walked into the kitchen, ignoring the head-rush she felt as her blood pressure struggled to equalise from the abrupt change in position.

"When will you know for sure? How long do these things take?" Abi asked following her mother.

"Hopefully tomorrow, depends on when DNA results are in. Until then, Lorna and her family are having to exist in limbo, not knowing whether we…they… whether they should be mourning the loss or holding out hope for her return." Sam hoped that Abi wouldn't have picked up on her unintentional slip but should have known better – she was her daughter after all.

"We? Mum, what do you mean we? You're not part of her family… are you? Is this something else you haven't told me about? Some long-lost sister you've neglected to clue me in on?"

"No! No, nothing like that. Abi it's… it's still all very new. I was hoping to talk to you about it in better circumstances." Sam sighed as she ran a tired hand through lacklustre hair, eyes closing in exasperation.

"Talk to me about what? You're not making any sense. First you're not at home and refuse to come back in favour of taking care of a 'friend', then I find you breaking your heart and now you're talking in riddles. What the hell is going on?" Abi hissed as she closed the door, not wishing to disturb her son and also wanting to cut off her mother's escape routes knowing how likely it was that the older Nixon woman would run rather than continue their discussion. "Does this friend of yours have a husband? A partner? Are you having an affair with her other half while her daughter's missing? And pretending to be her friend? 'Cause that would be a new low even for you, Mum." The sharp crack of skin on skin resounded through the kitchen as Sam's hand met forcefully with her daughter's cheek. Both women stood in shocked silence for long moments, Sam glowering unrepentantly, Abi cradling her stinging face in one palm.

"Is that really what you think of me? What you think I'd do? If so, it just shows how little you know about me Abigail. You may be my daughter but that doesn't give you the right to talk about me like that. I deserve more respect…"

"And I deserve your honesty. Haven't you learned that lying to me doesn't work? After everything we've gone through; my father, Hugh, Matt Boyden, after all of that, do you not think that telling me the truth is the least I deserve?"

"I am telling you the truth. I am not having an affair with anyone behind Lorna's back." Sam steamed on ahead, heedless of the consequences, "I am having a relationship with a parent of the missing girl but it's not like you seem so willing to believe. Katie's father was killed years ago and since then it's just been her and Lorna. It's Lorna. I am in a relationship with Lorna. I love Lorna, I'm _in love_ with her and as such, the fact that Katie has been taken hurts me almost as much as it hurts her."

"_You're what_? You? With a woman?" Abi barked out a mirthless laugh. "Yeah right, Mum. And here was I stupidly thinking you might actually be honest with me for once. What else is new with you then? Have you quit the police and taken up growing pot in the basement?"

"You really want to know what's new in my life? OK I'll tell you, I'll tell you everything that has happened in the last month since I last saw you. I suggest you take a seat, it might take a while and it might just open up your mind to the fact that the world, including my world, doesn't centre solely around you." Sam pressed on her daughter's shoulder until the younger blonde slumped into one of the wooden chairs at the kitchen table. Turning away, not sure she could face Abi while she recounted the trials of the past few weeks, Sam began haltingly, "my best friend hid the fact that she had cancer from me. I had to find out in court when she was forced to explain why she had spent so much time at the hospital, to prove she wasn't stalking a nurse there. We were in the middle of investigating the disappearance of a young boy who it turned out had been snatched by an organised group of paedophiles, some of whom are very well connected and powerful. Lorna was instrumental in gathering evidence that led to the raids you might have read about or seen on the news with police officers, singers, actors, politicians being arrested on child pornography charges. We started spending a lot of time together outside of work, discussing the case, and then talking about anything but work. I got to know her and her daughter and the more I saw, the more I realised I liked her. I didn't intend for it to happen, I've never felt this way about any other woman before... hell I've never felt this way about a man either. We're taking it slowly, taking our time getting to know one another and seeing how it goes but I love her, very much. Katie's disappearance has just reinforced how important they both are to me. The thought of Katie being in the hands of the same paedophiles we were investigating makes me sick to my stomach. I'm scared; that Katie won't come back, that this body they found will turn out to be her and that it will destroy Lorna. I'm terrified that I won't be able to help her, that the happiness we've found will be snatched away from us before it has any kind of chance." Sam finally ran out of steam, slumping forward, leaning her forearms against the worktop and resting her head on her clenched hands, deep throaty cries seeping from within her.

For long moments, Abi didn't respond, didn't know how to, her brain struggling to process all the information that had just been thrown at her. Tentatively, she cleared her throat, addressing her mother's slumped form. "So, you're a lesbian now?"

Sam spun violently to face the young woman, eyes flashing dangerously. "Seriously? That's all you have?"

"What else do you want me to say, Mum? I don't know your friend and whilst I'm sure it's rough having cancer, she's the one who has to fight it, not you. Same with this Katie kid, I don't know her, I can't feel sympathy for someone I don't know. You're my mum, imagining you with a woman, it kind of changes things for me. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I thought I was getting to know you better but you keep so much of yourself shut off from me that when you throw things like this out, it just reminds me that I don't actually know you at all." Abi rose from the table, steadfastly avoiding Sam's incendiary stare. "I need some time to get my head round this. I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning. Try and get some sleep, you look like you could use it." With a troubled expression, the young blonde fled from the kitchen and stalked up the stairs towards the bedroom she used as her own whenever she stayed.

Sam sank into the chair Abi had vacated, her legs too weak to carry her any further. Her heart trembled and fresh tears escaped from her eyes as she added a new fear to the list; losing her daughter and grandson for good.

* * *

Lorna awoke lying in the middle of her double bed, still clothed in what she had worn the day before. Her limbs were cold and stiff from spending the night uncovered. Rolling onto her back and straightening out took some effort and she opted to give herself a moment before attempting further motion.

"Lorna, are you awake?" Moira's voice called softly through the door.

"Yeah… I think so," Lorna groaned quietly, her own tone still gravelly with sleep.

"DI Manson and DC Dasari are downstairs to speak to you. I'll tell them you'll be down in a few minutes shall I?" Moira asked, leaning around the doorjamb and peering at her sister through the gloom of the bedroom.

Lorna, however, had other ideas, springing off the bed and heading towards Moira with determined strides, only slowing down as the blood rushed to her lower extremities leaving her lightheaded. Her sister steadied her until she was sure the woman could stand unaided. "Did they say if the results are back yet? I should call Sam, she'd want to be here but I don't want to intrude on her time with Abi." The Scot looked genuinely torn between doing what she desperately wanted to and what she deemed polite.

"You go freshen up a little in the bathroom, I'll call Sam and see if she can spare a few minutes to come over then we can all sit down together and see what the latest is," Moira suggested, taking the lead. Her sister attempted to manoeuvre herself towards the stairs still. "Trust me Lorna, you're going to thank me for suggesting you wash your face, brush your hair and put some new clothes on. Come on, otherwise Sam will have my guts for garters when she gets here, she'll think I've been letting you neglect yourself."

"Fine but I'll just be a couple of minutes," Lorna conceded, heading back into the bedroom to collect a change of clothing.

* * *

The jarring sound of the phone ringing startled Sam out of her sleep. Her back and neck screamed in agony as she gingerly rose from where she had been slumped over the kitchen table, never having made it up the stairs or even back into the lounge. An empty bottle of wine stood before her, testament to the anaesthetic she had chosen in order to get at least a couple of hours rest following her clash with Abi. With a groan, she staggered the few steps to the phone fixed to the wall beside the kitchen door.

"Hello," she grumbled, still trying to stretch out painful muscles at the same time as fighting to wake her brain up.

"Sam?" Moira's voice sounded tentative, unsure of herself through the crackling line.

"It's me, how's Lorna? Is she ok? Have you heard anything yet?" Sam bombarded the Scottish woman with questions, going from semi-comatose to alert in an instant.

"She's tired, sounds pretty much like you do right now in fact. Listen, Sam, I know it's an imposition given that your daughter is with you but DI Manson and DC Dasari are here to speak to Lorna and we were wondering if you'd come over to hear what they have to say too? If you can't, if you need to be there, please don't feel obliged to drop everything but…" Further words were cut off by Sam's hurried tones.

"I'm on my way over." The blonde DI rapidly thanked her lover's sister and assured her that Abi would be fine without her for a while. Sam raced up the stairs with more energy than she knew she possessed at that moment, flinging her wardrobe doors open and grabbing the first pair of black trousers she could find, pairing it with a baby blue blouse and a cream-coloured woollen tank-top. She ran her hands through her short hair, arranging it into some semblance of a style and refreshed her make-up after cleansing her face with one of the wipes she kept to hand on her dressing table. With a squirt of deodorant, she bolted back down the stairs, skidding to a halt as she saw Abi standing in front of the door.

"Going somewhere?"

"The police are at Lorna's. I need to get over there, they might have news, they might have identified the body. Abi, whatever else you think of what I told you last night, please accept that I love you but I _need_ to get to Lorna right now. I can't leave her to hear that kind of news without me there. She'd think I don't care whether Katie is alive or not." Abi surprised any further words from Sam as she reached out and gripped her in a crushing hug.

"I'm not going to stop you, Mum, just promise me you'll call later and let me know if everything's ok? I'm not going to pretend I understand but I can see how much you care about what's happening with her. Maybe, once Katie's… well once you know if Katie's ok or not, maybe Lorna and hopefully Katie too could come over for dinner with us all? I think I need to meet her before I can really get my head around you being with her."

"I want that, I want you to get to know Lorna, I want all of us to be part of a family together. I'll call you in a little while, as soon as I know anything definite. I'm due on shift this afternoon so I might not be home until late tonight, depends on what happens." Briefly returning the hug, Sam flew out of the door, clambering into her car and speeding off, praying that she wasn't over the limit after the wine she'd drunk into the early hours of the morning.

* * *

Jo replaced the receiver, head drooping forwards and her shoulders slouching forward under an unseen weight.

"What's the matter, sweetheart? Who was that?" Lucy rubbed a hand between the older woman's shoulder blades comfortingly.

"Saira's husband. She's not doing too well, they've had to move her to a hospice, he can't cope with looking after her at home any longer. He was wondering if I'd go and visit her." Jo turned around and carefully wrapped her arms around the slightly shorter woman, hiding her face in Lucy's neck.

"How do you feel about that? If you want to go, I can take you there. I know you and she hit it off while you were in hospital."

"We did and we've kept in touch since; phone calls, texts, you know, the usual. I thought she'd gone quiet but then I got distracted and didn't really think anything more of it," Jo murmured against her lover's skin, reluctant to raise her head from its comforting position.

"She won't blame you for getting caught up in your own fight, honey, so you mustn't either," Lucy assured, hands running over Jo's broad back.

"I want to see her. She was so good to me, helped me so much through those first chemo sessions. But I'm scared, Luce. What if… I mean… that might be me in a few months or a couple of years. I'm scared that it'll be like looking into my own future."

"You can't think like that, love. You're going to beat this, you're going to get better and you're going to go on to live a full, long life," Lucy insisted, pulling Jo's head from her shoulder and cradling her cheeks between two warm palms.

"That's what Saira thought too… the first time she was fighting this fight. But then it came back and now it looks like it's winning. Is there really any point or am I just delaying the inevitable? Wouldn't it be better to spare us all the agony and let it take me now?" Jo asked tiredly.

"No! Jo, I will take any time I have with you, whether that's ten hours, ten days, ten months or ten years plus at any price. There are no guarantees it won't come back but the odds are vastly in your favour of a full and complete recovery. No one will force you to go and visit Saira if you think you can't face it but please, sweetheart, don't think that her situation is a template for your own. There are so many variables that no two cases are really alike." Lucy looked intently into her girlfriend's blue-brown eyes, imploring her to believe in her own powers of recovery.

"I think going to see Saira is the least I can do really. She must feel pretty desolate in there – it's not exactly a well hidden secret that people go into those places for palliative care and don't tend to come out again except in a pine box. Would you mind running me up there this afternoon if I check and see what time visiting hours are?" Jo asked dipping her gaze almost shyly, before raising it again and offering the young brunette a tiny grateful smile. "Thank you for reminding me why the fight's worthwhile and calling me on my crap. Honestly, without you, I'd have given up as soon as I found the lump. So don't you ever feel like your support isn't enough for me because you are the reason I get out of bed in a morning. I love you, Lucy."

* * *

Sam allowed herself to be guided through into the lounge by Moira. "Neil, Grace," she acknowledged with a swift nod before looking to where her lover sat on the couch.

"It's not Katie… the body they found, it's not Katie," Lorna supplied as a single relieved tear trickled over her ruddy cheek.


	42. Chapter 42

**_It's that time of the week again... I think! My brain is fried and confused after working all over the Easter weekend, I have no idea what day of the week we're up to any more! Lol. Huge thanks to A for Antechinus, Sez01 and iheartsergeantsmith for your fantastic reviews on the last chapter. And believe me, if The Bill were to come calling asking me to be a scriptwriter I would snatch their hand off! Lol._**

**_So, same disclaimer applies as always (we know this off by heart by now, don't we folks?) but just in case, I can solemnly confirm I own nothing to do with The Bill, not even the lint from their pockets._**

**_Read on, enjoy and as always, it is a pleasure and a privilege to receive any feedback from your goodselves :) so if you have a moment to spare and want to drop a review or PM or anything, I'd love to hear from you._**

* * *

Moira walked back into the lounge after letting the two police officers out, her own tears of relief pricking at her eyes once more at the news there was still hope for her sweet niece to be found alive and rescued from her captors. The phone call they had received from the alleged kidnappers had been discussed with Neil assuring them all it would be investigated and anything they found would be passed on to the relevant investigating body if necessary. Sam read that to mean that the Intelligence Service were still somehow involved, still running a discrete operation to secure the capture and prosecution of more perpetrators of the sickening crimes against youngsters which had been uncovered by Dawid Podowski's disappearance.

"You two look absolutely exhausted. Why don't you go and have a lie down for a few hours and get some sleep? Neither of you looks like you got any worth mentioning last night." Moira opted to take on the role of mother, figuring that neither Sam nor Lorna was in any fit state emotionally to be overly aware of what was best for them.

"I need to be in work by two o'clock this afternoon. I should probably actually go in earlier, no doubt there are plenty of cases needing attention with so many of CID being involved with searching for Katie. I don't want to give anyone any excuse for taking their eye off that ball," Sam protested, desperately trying to shake off her fatigue and not focus on how nice the idea of curling up in bed with Lorna sounded.

"Nonsense, that's hours away yet. You've got plenty of time to catch at least three hours sleep before you need to head in to work. You'll be of little use to anyone if you can't stay awake to investigate anything and right now, you don't even look safe to get behind the wheel of a car," Moira admonished gently as she watched Lorna soothe a hand down the middle of Sam's back. "Go on, upstairs the pair of you and I don't want to see either of you again this side of midday."

"Thanks Mor. Come on Sam, you won't win this argument so save your breath to cool your porridge and come give me a cuddle for a while. We can set an alarm so you don't oversleep and even if you don't manage to doze off, resting for a while can't do you any harm. You do look pretty shattered, love." With a tiny nod, Sam accepted the outstretched hand of her lover and rose to her feet wearily. Moira watched the two of them shuffle off, leaning against one another for support as though neither individually had sufficient strength to make it the distance up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Once inside Lorna's bedroom, both women stripped down to their underwear, leaving that final barrier intact as each knew that only sleep was on the agenda such was their joint level of fatigue. Lorna got Sam settled first, tucking the duvet in around her before wandering around to her own side of the bed and slipping beneath the covers. Instinctively, Sam rolled into the warmth offered by Lorna's lean body, fitting herself along the Scot's side and draping a protective arm over her naked stomach. Their legs entwined naturally and within a few short minutes both were sliding into an ever deepening sleep.

* * *

"DCI Meadows, a moment of your time?" Gina Gold's imperious tone rang out clearly above the usual hubbub of the station's corridors.

"What can I do for you Gina?" Jack asked as he hauled his bulk into her office and closed the door behind himself.

"I've just despatched two of my officers to investigate reports of a couple of bodies being found at an address on the Canley Estate. PC's Green and Stamp are there and I've sent Sergeant Noble along to run the scene. Do you have any available officers in case it does turn out to be suspicious circumstances?" Inspector Gold asked from over the folder she had been perusing when she had spied the CID boss walking past.

"Sam Nixon's handling anything not connected to Katie Hart's disappearance so anything you need, just let her know. She has Angie and Kezia at her disposal but I'm afraid I can't spare anyone else. Terry and Mickey are following leads and still trying to track down a missing teacher from the school where Katie was taken, Grace is FLO for Lorna Hart and liaising with CEOPs in case they pick up anything on any of the internet sites they're monitoring. Stuart's in the wind and I'm still waiting for the brass to decide who to draft in to replace him. Jo's obviously out of commission for the foreseeable future." Jack allowed some of his frustration to slip through his ordinarily impenetrable mask.

"Any word on Jo? How's she doing?" Gina asked, genuinely interested in how the vibrant detective was faring.

"From what I've heard from Sam, she's doing ok I think, as well as you'd expect I suppose," Jack replied.

"Has a collection been organised for her? I haven't seen anything and I'm sure that everyone would be willing to contribute something, she's a popular officer, never treats anyone any differently regardless of whether they're in uniform or out of it."

"Ummm, come to think of it, no, I don't think there has. Everyone has been preoccupied with cases the last few weeks. We should do, I'll see if Sam'll organise something when she comes on shift this afternoon," Jack assured, duly embarrassed in the face of a Gina's aghast expression.

"Leave the relief with me, I'll get donations off this lot and tell Sam I'll have it to her in the next few days," Gina barked with a shake of her head. She had no doubt that Sam had already shown her support and caring for her friend but given Jo's worth to the station and her length of service, a whip-round really was the least they could do to show her that she was in the thoughts of her work colleagues. "I think I'll ask DI Nixon if Jo's up to receiving visitors later, might nip round and see her myself."

* * *

Sam slowly became aware of her surroundings; the soft skin beneath her cheek, the steady, even breathing signalling her bed-mate was still far away in the land of dreams, the warm duvet cocooning her from the cooler afternoon air and a gentle knocking at the bedroom door. Raising her head from her human pillow, she called out softly to alert Moira to the fact she could enter.

"Sorry to disturb you but I didn't hear an alarm go off and I thought I'd better check you were getting up for work," Moira whispered apologetically. In their haste to crawl into one another's arms and give into the crushing need to sleep, both women had neglected to set the alarm.

Sam groaned softly. "What time is it?" she asked, fighting to wake herself properly, as she carefully propped herself up on one elbow to make eye contact with her lover's sister without letting her see how much flesh was naked beneath the covers.

"Just after half past twelve. I thought you'd want a while to take a shower and get yourself ready for work. Come down when you're ready and I'll make you some lunch before you go, make sure we stoke your energy ready for your shift and whatever it throws at you." Moira turned and headed back out of the bedroom, making her way to the stairs already planning a menu in her mind.

Sam lay for a moment longer gathering her wits before she too padded out of the bedroom in search of a hot shower, leaving Lorna slumbering deeply. Without procrastination, the blonde detective stepped beneath the steaming spray, lathering her body up with Lorna's shower crème once more. She made it through that shower without interruption and re-dressed in the clothes she had thrown on before dashing to Lorna's house, grateful that she kept spare make-up in her handbag so she wouldn't have to go to work without her mask on. With practiced ease, she applied her foundation, doing her best to conceal the worst of the dark smudges beneath her eyes, assisted by her light eyeliner and clear mascara. She opted to leave applying her lipstick until she was ready to leave, knowing it would only need re-doing once she had eaten and drunk and doubting she would be allowed to leave before she had done precisely that! Before descending the stairs, Sam looked in on Lorna again, tiptoeing across the room and dropping a tender kiss against the sleeping woman's smooth brow.

* * *

"You look a lot better for a couple of hours sleep," Moira stated confidently as she directed Sam into a chair at the kitchen table and placed a glass of orange juice in front of the woman who seemed to have captured her sister's heart.

"Thanks," Sam murmured in response to the beverage and the comment, "I must admit I feel slightly less like a zombie now. At least my brain is semi-functional which is about normal!" She let out a self-deprecating chuckle.

"That's good then. Now, what would you like on your sandwich? There's some roast chicken with stuffing or honey roast ham or I could do you some boiled egg ones if you prefer." Moira stood poised ready to spring into action at Sam's decision.

"Honestly, you don't have to wait on me, I don't expect you to make me meals and supply me with drinks," Sam declared abashed.

"I know, but it appeases my nature so what'll it be? I want to feel useful and this makes me feel useful so humour me please?" Sam knew when to concede defeat, and had her suspicions that Moira was adept at winning her arguments most of the time if recent form was anything to go on.

"OK well thank you, in that case I'd love a ham sandwich," the slim blonde replied with a grateful, understanding smile.

"Want any cheese or onion or salad on it?" Sam shook her head indicating plain ham would be fine with her so Moira rustled up the simple lunch and placed it on a plate with a bag of plain crisps and a smile. Patting the seated woman's shoulder affectionately, the redhead set about fixing her own food before joining the police officer in eating in companionable silence at the kitchen table, the only sound the ticking of the clock.

"I'd better give Abi a quick call, I promised to let her know when there was any news," Sam suddenly remember as she swallowed the last bite of her sandwich.

"You go do that, I'll take care of these few dishes," Moira informed her, glad to see Sam accepting her assistance with a heartfelt 'thanks' and no protestations this time.

* * *

"Hi Mum, are you ok? Is everything alright?" Abi's voice was quiet through the phone line as though she was trying to be discrete. The young woman looked over to where her son was quietly watching an animated movie.

"Yeah, the body wasn't Katie. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier but I was sent to bed by Lorna's sister!" Sam admitted with a small, tired chuckle.

"Oh I want to meet her, someone who can tell you what to do and get away with it, I need to learn some of her tricks!" Abi rejoined lightly.

"Don't go getting any ideas, Abigail, you'll never get away with it," Sam assured, though her jovial tone belied the harshness of her words.

"How's Lorna holding up?" Abi enquired turning more serious, wanting to make an effort to support her mother and feeling increasingly sheepish for how selfishly she had acted the previous day. Hindsight, as they say, is startling in its clarity and didn't always make for comfortable viewing.

"She's still sleeping," Sam informed her daughter then paused with a blush as she realised what that might imply. "She was possibly more exhausted than I was, we both fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillows I think," she clarified, cringing even as she did so, not knowing how comfortable Abi would be with hearing her mother discussing sharing a bed, even innocently, with the other woman.

"I can't imagine sleep comes very easily to her at the minute, I know it wouldn't to me if anything happened to Jared." Abi ignored her own discomfort at how naturally her mother discussed sleeping with another woman and focussed instead on the fact that a mother was missing her child. "When do you have to go to work?"

"In a few minutes, I'm on two-ten shifts this week, but I just wanted to check in with you before I left. How are you? Is everything ok there? Have you spoken to Mike at all? Not that I'm pushing you to leave, you know you're more than welcome to stay for as long as you want to." Sam realised she was babbling but everything felt so tentative with her daughter that she didn't want to say anything and have it taken the wrong way or interpreted to mean something hurtful.

"I think I'm going to call Mike this afternoon, I need to apologise to him for how I've been treating him the last few weeks. You were right yesterday, I've been looking for excuses to fight with him and every time he refused to fight back, it made me more and more frustrated. Sometimes, I wonder if it's because he simply doesn't care enough about me - about us - but then I calm down and realise it's just how he is. He's so naturally placid – I wish I could be more like him." Abi released a sigh, sinking down into the cushions of the sofa.

"If you love him and are willing to work at your relationship with him, you'll find a way to meet somewhere in the middle. He'll need to do the same too and start telling you when you're being pushy or unreasonable so you can back off before it blows up into this huge mess you seem so intent on creating," Sam advised. "Be honest with him, tell him how his lack of response makes you feel and ask him to afford you the same honesty in return. Give him a chance to explain why he doesn't rise to your barbs, you might be surprised at his reply, you never know."

"Thanks Mum, I'll try. I'd better let you get to work. Hope it's a quiet shift for you. Will I see you later or do you need to stay with Lorna tonight?" Abi asked, determined to keep her tone lightly inquisitive so her mum didn't assume she was about to start getting clingy and demanding again.

"I'm not sure, I'll give you a call when I'm on my break later and let you know. You can tell me how it went with Mike then too," Sam replied, subtly pushing her girl to do the right thing.

* * *

Jo slipped into the surprisingly cosy room as quietly as she could, not wanting to disturb the occupant if she was sleeping. It was remarkably less sterile than she had envisaged, with comfy chairs and pastel coloured walls holding framed prints, furniture such as a chest of drawers, a wardrobe and a bedside cabinet all in matching beech finish. Despite their efforts though, there was no disguising the fact that it was a room set up for nursing sick people in – the monitoring and medical equipment was indiscrete and plentiful.

"Jo," Saira called huskily, her voice smaller and more thready than Jo remembered it being. She'd lost weight too, the woman lying before her almost anorexic in appearance. "It's so lovely to see you. How are you?" Her presence appeared to be warmly accepted and was apparently infusing an additional spurt of energy into the terminally ill patient.

"I'm ok, thanks. How are you doing? Sorry stupid question…" Jo trailed off nervously, stepping further into the room and perching herself in the low armchair at the side of the bed. "I brought some mint imperials in for you, I didn't know if you'd want something to freshen your mouth up and keep you from getting too dry."

"You're a sweetheart, thank you, that's really thoughtful. And it wasn't a stupid question, it was an honest one. I'm doing ok, I've made my peace with what's happening to me and they're treating me well here. Having surprise visitors sure does brighten my day though, I'm so glad you came." Saira reached out a thin hand, gripping Jo's weakly in her palm as though needing the connection to convince herself that she was actually there and wasn't a drug-induced hallucination. "I see you're sporting new headgear, I like it, it suits you. It's got attitude."

Jo raised her free hand to self-consciously pat the green marbled bandana she had opted to wear. "Thanks, I'm still not sure about it. I had a bit of a meltdown when my hair started coming out, even though I knew the likelihood was that it would happen sooner or later."

"I think most people do. Hair is such a personal accessory, you don't realise how important it is to your self esteem until it's no longer there. It took me ages to get used to feeling so naked. I wouldn't take my scarves off at all, not even in the house. The only exception I made was when I was alone and locked in the bathroom having a shower and even then, it would be the last thing I took off before I got in and the first thing I put back on when I got out and dry enough. I wouldn't look myself in the mirror without it on. I slept with one on or, in the winter if it was cold, with a woolly beanie hat on. For the first two weeks, I made my husband sleep in the spare room, I wouldn't let him anywhere near me. Have you asked about talking to a MacMillan Nurse? They are angels, all of them, absolute angels. I'd highly recommend it, they helped me so much to come to terms with a lot of things, including moving in here." Saira sighed heavily, her gaunt features pinching as a wave of pain shot through her. She fumbled blindly for her morphine pump, pressing the boost button to receive the pain relieving medication. Seeing Jo's concerned gaze, she forced a smile. "It's good stuff but it does make me loopy and then sleepy so I'll apologise now in case I say anything silly or fall asleep on you."

"It's ok, hon, you do whatever you need to do." After a pause, the detective asked, "you really think it helps talking to a MacMillan nurse?"

"I do, they know everything you're feeling, every worry you might have, they're remarkable," Saira replied earnestly. "Anyway, enough health talk, tell me about you. How are things with Lucy?"

"She's amazing. I still feel like I should pinch myself every day just to make sure she's real and I'm not dreaming. She took me shopping for the headgear, she arranged for a hairdresser to come to the house to cut my hair when it started falling out and she's so fiercely protective of me if anyone else even hints at making an issue out of my appearance or us being together openly. I thought I was feisty but I have nothing on her!" Jo enthused, her face softening into a tender smile as she spoke of the woman she loved deeply.

"Have you had any more thoughts on letting her make an honest woman of you yet?" asked the stricken woman, voice growing less distinct as the powerful pain medication took effect.

"I can't lumber her with me like that, not until I know I can be part of her life – an active part of her life and not just a burden she has to bear. I'd love to say yes, to sweep her off her feet and walk down the aisle with her but when I do that, I want it to be because we know we have a future together and not just a week or a month or even a year." Jo released a heavy sigh as she briefly allowed herself to imagine a wedding day for herself and Lucy.

"And what happens if you do only have a week or a month or a year? Could you make peace with yourself and face death knowing that you never got to share that with her? Never gave yourself to her completely?" Saira asked tiredly. "I understand your sentiments, Jo, I really do, but take it from one who is staring her mortality in the face; you suddenly find yourself regretting a whole lot of things you never thought you would when it's your time to go."

* * *

"Sam, I need you to take Angie and head down to the Canley estate," Jack barked as soon as his DI reached the top of the stairs, not seeing the point in her shedding her jacket only to have to put it back on again almost immediately.

"What's there?" Sam queried, pausing her stride to listen to the details of the latest case to be handed to her mini-team.

"Two dead bodies, suspicious circumstances, both decapitated, hands cut off too. It's going to take a while to get an ID on either of them," Jack handed Sam a slip of paper with the address of the incident scribbled hastily on it.

Sam glanced at the address, her face paling. "Guv, were the bodies discovered inside this flat?"

"Yes, why?" the older man queried, snatching the paper back and studying it for himself.

"That's Dawid Podowski's family's address. Please tell me they were moved after Dawid was found? That they weren't sent back to the same flat like bait when the sick bastards who took that little boy knew exactly where to find him." There was a note of desperation in Sam's voice as she considered what the discovery might mean. There was no way it was a coincidence, it couldn't be.

"I'm sure they were. Regardless, until we know otherwise, we'll treat this as a completely isolated and unconnected case to Katie's disappearance. You and Angie see what you can find out, Kezia is at your disposal too if you need another pair of hands and I'll chase up Stuart's replacement, see if we can't get them in place sooner rather than later." Sam needed no further prompting, taking off at a fair speed into CID to retrieve her colleague, ushering her out of the door with a promise to explain on the way in the car.

* * *

The two women raced to the scene, Sam driving and filling in Angie as much as she could regarding what she had learned of the two bodies. For the moment, the DI opted not to share the history of where the bodies were found, deciding that should be on a need to know basis and since there was no definite need for Angie to know right now, Sam felt justified in her decision to withhold.

"Sergeant Noble, what have you got for us?" Sam asked as she strode over to where the police cordon had been established, ducking under it and trusting Jo's temporary replacement to follow suit.

"It's a grim one, Guv. Eddie's the CSE on this one with Lorna being out of commission. We've left him and his team doing the initial sweep through of the scene. From the amount of blood, I'd say it's fair to assume both were killed here and this isn't a dump job. I'm sure Eddie can give you a more detailed breakdown by now." Diane switched her gaze to the new DC, watching the slight lightening of her coffee coloured skin and wondered how long it would be before the younger woman would be revisiting her lunch.

"Any persons of interest hanging around we should be having a chat to?" Sam asked, already moving towards the front door of the flat.

"No, it's been quiet. Too quiet really. I suspect more people know what went down here than don't and I'd be willing to bet my paycheque that not one of them will talk to us about it," Diane muttered cynically earning a hard glare from the newcomer whereas Sam simply accepted her at her word, knowing that it was damn close to the truth.

"Let's go see what we have then," DI Nixon announced to Angie, moving forward without waiting to see if the detective was following. By the time the younger woman caught up to her, Sam was already slipping into the protective clothing necessary to ensure they didn't contaminate the crime scene enclosed within the flat. "I know it may seem patronising, but this is CSE Olosunje's domain and what he says goes. We don't touch anything without his say so, we don't move anything without him telling us to and we don't set foot anywhere we haven't been told he has already processed, ok?"

"Yes Guv," Angie replied shortly, understanding that she was new and that everyone was trying to get a feel for her capabilities but still resenting the assumption that she was green all the same.

"And watch out for Eddie – CSE Olosunje. He has an eye for the ladies and is an incorrigible flirt so don't take anything he says too seriously but if he oversteps the mark, feel free to slap him back down – verbally of course. The rest of us do, frequently," Sam assured before striding into the nightmarish scene, mind focused completely on the job ahead of her.

"Ah DI Nixon, a pleasure, as always. And who is this gorgeous creature you've brought to see me?" Eddie was on his hands and knees, swabbing a patch of fluid when the two women entered.

"This is DC Angie Walker. She's been temporarily assigned to Sun Hill to cover while Jo's off," Sam supplied, turning to Angie and informing her, "Angie, meet Eddie Olosunje. Crime Scene Examiner and general buffoon but he's okay at the technical stuff so we keep him around."

Angie couldn't help but grin at the mock outrage which fixed firmly on the robust man's face. "Ok? Ok? I'll give you ok," Eddie cried indignantly. "Pay no mind to her, DC Walker, she's just sour because I won't explain things to her in words of one syllable!" Angie released a guffaw of laughter, heedless of how inappropriate their hilarity might appear whilst standing amidst the aftermath of a brutal killing.

"I think it's time for you to baffle me with your science then, Eddie," Sam advised, sobering before they drew attention to themselves. Gallows humour was a necessity in their line of work, in order to cope with the horrific things they saw, but there was a time and a place for sharing it and where they were at present was definitely neither of those.

"Certainly," Eddie concurred, himself focusing back on the reason for their gathering. "The bodies are in the master bedroom, both female. Judging by size and development, I'd say one is aged between 35 and 40 years of age, the other is a pubescent adolescent, approximately 16 years old." Sam couldn't help but blanch at the description, which could so easily apply to the mother and sister of Dawid Podowski. Eddie continued his run through of what he had already determined, "both victims were killed here, no evidence that the bodies have been moved post-mortem. There's a lot of blood so either the killer brought a change of clothing with them or they left here covered in their victims' blood. According to the pathologist, liver temp suggests time of death between five and seven this morning."

"Who found the bodies?" Angie asked, clearly eager to move away from the more gruesome details of the murders.

"A neighbour looked through the window as she was walking by on her way to the shop for her morning paper, saw the feet of one of the bodies and the blood pooling around it, called the police who broke in to the apartment and found this," Sergeant Noble informed them from the doorway. Turning her attention to Sam, Diane continued, " Guv, do you want to speak to the neighbour or shall we take her down to the station to make her statement?"

"I think the station's best. Make sure to give her a hot drink. Even if she didn't see the extent of this, I'm sure it was still a shock for her. I'll be back shortly to take her statement, once we've finished here," Sam instructed. "Is there anything with the bodies to suggest who they are? Any forms of ID or anything?" The blonde DI hoped against hope that it wouldn't prove to be Izzy and her mother.

"Nothing and without hands for fingerprint ID or dental records, it might be a while before we can confirm who they are depending on what else comes up in the course of the investigation," Eddie admitted.

"Ok, Angie could you speak to the uniformed officers and see what they've found so far. I just need to make a phone call," Sam advised, stepping out into the hallway and heading for the front door, dialling Jack's direct line number as she went. "Guv, it's DI Nixon. You need to make enquiries about the whereabouts of Zofia and Izzy. The bodies fit their general age but there's no way to tell either way at the moment. I think we need to err on the side of caution and at least check that they can be located by those who know where they are."

"Leave it with me Sam, I'll let you know if I get anywhere when you get back to the station," DCI Meadows replied on a heavy sigh, wondering just when their tiny part of the world had erupted into a treacherous gangland.


	43. Chapter 43

**Huge thanks, as always, to A for Antechinus, Sez01 and iheartsergeantsmith for your lovely reviews on the last chapter. Here comes this week's installment... Let's see what today brings for our gals.**

**Nope, I still don't own them, nor do I make any profit from playing with them like this. My reward comes in smiles, both when I write and when I read other people's reactions and since smiles are free, I'll gladly share them with anyone who holds a claim to The Bill :)**

**Read on, fair people, and should the mood move you, I'd love to hear your thoughts in a review or a PM.**

* * *

Lucy closed the door quietly behind her, ears straining for any signs of life from her girlfriend. Sounds of a football match filtered through from the lounge offering some indication of where she might find the brunette.

"Hi babe," she murmured as she popped her head around the doorjamb, smiling indulgently as she spied the detective stretched out on her back on the sofa, one arm draped across the armrest above her head, the other folded across her midsection, head tilted to one side and gaze fixed on the images of men running around a field kicking a sack full of air about.

"Hi, did you get everything sorted at the office?" Jo asked rolling her head around to look at the younger woman but making no move to get up or change her position, knowing her lover would only scold her for it.

"Yeah, it's all taken care of. Sorry I had to abandon you at the hospice, I hope you didn't have any problems getting home? How was Saira?" Lucy asked, shuffling further into the room but still remaining on her feet, intending to make herself and Jo a hot drink.

"No, no problems at all. The lady on the reception desk arranged a taxi for me with a company they frequently use. Everyone was lovely actually. We'll have to keep that place in mind, just, you know, in case you ever need a break from taking care of me. It seems like a good place and they do respite care there too as well as end of life palliative care." Jo's eyes flickered between Lucy and the television screen as she attempted to feign nonchalance at the prospect of having to make use of such a place for herself at some point during her battle against cancer.

"We'll cross that bridge, as and when we come to it if we need to but it's good to know there are options if you feel you need a break and some additional support that I can't handle. But I don't see there being a time when I won't want to be the one to care for you sweetheart, not while there's breath in my body and strength in me. I don't care how tough it gets or how heartbreaking, I won't want you anywhere but beside me," Lucy informed her partner sincerely.

"I know you wouldn't opt to put me in there out of choice, Luce, but I don't want you making yourself ill or burning yourself out because you're trying to work and look after me as well. I want you to be able to tell me if it's getting too much for you and know that I won't think any less of you for admitting that we need additional help or support, whatever form that may take. I know how fortunate I am to have you standing by me… and I've been thinking about what you said, about us getting married. Saira said something to me today that made me realise that I might miss out on the best thing in my life because I'm waiting for something that may never happen." Jo beckoned Lucy closer, shuffling towards the back of the sofa and inviting the younger woman to join her, not feeling like she had the energy to get down on one knee. "Lucy, sweetheart, if you're still interested, would you do me the very great honour of marrying me?"

Lucy was grateful for the space Jo had created as she sunk to the sofa in shock at the about-turn. Gazing down on the fretful brunette, she ran a palm tenderly over the detective's pale cheek, eyes tearing up. "Jo, baby, are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured into it. I can wait forever and a day if you need to."

"No… no more waiting for the perfect day. I want to make the most of every moment, every day, every opportunity we have together regardless of what the future might hold. Saira made me realise that even if I didn't have cancer," Jo paused, swallowing thickly, still getting used to saying it out loud, "either of us could be in an accident and killed or anything at any time. If I wait until I've beaten this disease, who's to say that there will still be the chance to show the world how much I love you? But honey, if you're not sure; if it's not what you really, truly want, then please tell me. Don't just agree because you think it'll make me happy. If we're going to do this, if you're going to be my wife, I want it to be because we both want that, completely."

"Oh no, Jo, no, please don't think that I asked that because I don't want to marry you or that I'm not sure. I've never been more sure of anything, not ever. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you every morning and know that you'll be there when I go to bed at night – as far as your job allows anyway. I want to share everything with you; the great times, the difficult times, the downright ugly times, I want it all. So yes Jo, _yes_ I would love to marry you whether it's today, tomorrow, next week, next month or in two or three years. One hundred percent YES!" Lucy beamed, allowing herself to be pulled down for a heated kiss in celebration of their upcoming nuptials.

"Planning a wedding will give me plenty to focus on through my next round of treatments, at least," Jo quipped when they broke for air.

"That it will; the flowers, the venue, the guest list, the music, the colour scheme, your outfit – will you be wearing the dress or do I get to do that? Or we both could if you wanted to," Lucy babbled eagerly, mind awhirl, work day already forgotten.

Jo let loose a hearty laugh at her fiancée's enthusiasm before realising how right it felt to refer to her as that even only mentally. "I'll leave the dress to you babe, I think I'll look better and definitely be less self conscious in a tuxedo and trousers." The sounds of increased crowd noise from the television interrupted their conversation as Jo's attention was dragged back to the game she had been watching when Lucy got home. "Bloody Hell, Scholes!" Jo groaned as she watched a replay of the tackle which had earned one of the players on the team she was supporting a straight red card. "Great player but I think it's time he hung up his boots. Though to be fair, he never could tackle without running the risk of clobbering somebody and getting himself sent off," she grumbled to no one in particular.

"I'll leave you to watch in peace, sweetheart, I'm going to have a shower and make us something to eat, since I'm presuming you didn't get yourself anything while I was at work?" Lucy questioned sternly, eyes shining with the love she felt for her soon-to-be-wife.

Jo shook her head sheepishly in response. "I wasn't hungry earlier and then I got caught up in the game. Let me make you something while you have your shower, it's only fair since you've been slaving away at the office. You shouldn't have to come home and start cooking as well."

Lucy leant down and placed a lingering kiss against the older woman's lips, murmuring her appreciation of Jo's thoughtfulness. "How about we compromise? You can order us a takeout while I shower – whatever you feel like, I'm not that fussy and you know what I like so I trust you to order for me. That way, you don't have to miss any of your game and I don't have to cook."

"I like the way your mind works," Jo grinned, squeezing the brunette's hand affectionately, "now go hop in the shower and wash the work day off you so we can celebrate our engagement properly over a nice meal. Want me to pour you a glass of wine?"

"No thanks babe, I think I'll be really boring and stick to a cup of tea," Lucy replied, rising from the sofa and making her way to the stairs. Jo's eyes lingered on the door long moments after the gently swaying hips of her lover had disappeared from view. Her mind was reeling, in a good way, over what they were planning to do. She wanted to tell the world, wanted to phone Sam and let her know, let her share in the celebration but knew it would be inappropriate given the situation with Katie. Still, she vowed to at least pass on the good news to her closest friend the first chance she got in a way which wouldn't seem insensitive. With a satisfied sigh, Jo rolled off the couch and grabbed a fistful of take away menus from the kitchen, settling herself back in front of the television, phone in hand, deciding what to order.

* * *

Sam grabbed a cup of coffee and a sandwich in the canteen as she entered the final two hour stretch of her shift. Evidence in the murders was scarce so far and the statement provided by the neighbour who had discovered the body had held nothing of any much use. As Sergeant Noble had predicted, no one on the estate was willing to admit to seeing anything, hearing anything or knowing anything about the brutal slaying and it seemed that, until the results of the post-mortem, those investigating would be simply spinning their wheels. Uniformed officers had been assigned the arduous task of scouring footage from CCTV cameras in areas surrounding the killing site in the hopes of finding some kind of lead to go on. Jack had heard nothing back from his enquiries regarding the safety of the Podowski's so Sam wasn't even able to rule them out as potential victims yet. Her frustration was getting the better of her. Despite knowing that, just as Rome wasn't built in a day, crimes were not solved within hours – despite what those infernal American television crime dramas would have people believe – it still didn't make sitting around waiting for information to become apparent any easier to swallow. Opting to take her paltry meal back to her office, Sam decided to give her daughter a call and see if she had had any joy in talking to Mike.

The phone was answered after a few rings. "Hello?" Abi's voice drifted through the phone.

"Hi love, it's mum. How's things?"

"Hi Mum, you having a busy day?" Abi asked, hinting at the lateness of Sam's call despite them not having agreed a specific time to talk.

"Yeah, bit of a nightmare one. Sorry I couldn't call earlier. Did you get chance to speak to Mike?" The DI asked, too weary to get into another argument with her daughter about her perceived lack of interest in the younger Nixon's life.

"Yeah, we talked. He wants to meet up tomorrow so we can talk in person, suggested a coffee shop since then we'll both have to be rational rather than screaming at one another," Abi admitted, knowing that her mother would understand that the only one likely to do such a thing was Abi herself.

"That sounds like a good idea," Sam agreed warmly, glad that they were at least willing to give sorting it out a go. She had some hope that Mike might prove to be a calming influence on her daughter and hopefully a stable presence in Jared's life too.

"Yeah so I was wondering if there was any chance of you looking after Jared for me for a couple of hours? I'll be back long before you need to go to work." Abi's voice had taken on a pleading, almost whiny tone.

"Of course I will," Sam responded instantly, mentally juggling her commitments in her mind even as she agreed. It would undoubtedly mean not seeing Lorna – it wouldn't be fair expect her welcome a young baby whilst she was going through so much – but at the end of the day, Abi _was_ family. The blonde DI hated having to even consider choosing between the two but knew practically, the time wasn't right to try and merge the two families into one.

"That's great Mum, really, I appreciate it, thanks. I'm meeting Mike at ten so it won't be too early a start for you."

"It's ok, Abi. Just promise me you'll try to really listen to whatever Mike has to say and not hear what you think he's saying? He seems like a good guy," Sam cautioned, knowing that Abi was too like she herself had been at that age – impetuous, presumptuous and carrying no small amount of arrogance.

"I can only promise to be myself, if he can't handle me as I am then he's not the man I want to spend my life with," Abi stated indignantly.

"All relationships call for some measure of compromise. No one can live the same way when they share their life with someone as they do when they are alone. We all have to learn to give as much as we take, to be sensitive and open to our partner's needs and not trample all over them to please ourselves," Sam counselled, imploring her daughter to see the sense in what she was saying and not make herself undesirable to every potential suitor who came into her life.

"Says you who has chased off every guy she's ever been with and is now resorting to having some sort of sordid fling with a woman to get her leg over? Save your relationship advice for the next time you're looking in a mirror. Mike and I will either work it out or we won't. Either way, it won't be the end of the world. I'll probably be in bed by the time you get in so I'll see you tomorrow some time," Abi barked ending the call before Sam had chance to respond or rebuke her. It was obvious that the younger Nixon had some issues regarding Sam's relationship with Lorna which were not going to be easy to overcome, especially given how headstrong and wilful Abi could be when she got an idea fixed in her head. With a heavy sigh, Sam threw the sandwich into the bin beneath her desk, no longer having any kind of an appetite.

* * *

Lucy reached the front door moments before Jo appeared from the lounge, cash in hand ready to pay the delivery driver for the food.

"That'll be £11.60 please, miss," the young Asian man informed her as soon as she opened the door, thrusting the food into her empty arms without any preamble. Jo slid in behind her, wrapping one arm around Lucy's waist as she reached out with the other to hand over the money, waiting for the change, not willing to let it go as a miniscule tip given the lack of grace in the service. Jo was all for getting on with things but a little customer care, such as an exchange of pleasantries never went amiss in her book.

"Thank you," she intoned cheerfully as he handed her the two twenty pence pieces, her face taking on a bemused expression as he turned on his heel without another word, climbing back into his car and squealing off minus a healthy portion of tyre rubber. "Well there's someone happy in his work!" she quipped as she closed the door behind her laden lover. "Want me to give you a hand with any of that?"

"No, I'm good, if you could just grab the plates and stuff from the kitchen?" Lucy replied, hefting her bounty higher and striding off towards the lounge.

"Already done, sweetheart," Jo told the brunette following her and hugging her from behind as the younger woman spied the intimate, romantic setting Jo had created in the short time Lucy had been upstairs. The coffee table had been cleared of its usual clutter and set with two dinner plates with silver cutlery; crystal-cut goblets filled with iced water, a slice of lemon curled decoratively over each rim; two individual candlesticks holding plain ivory candles. The volume on the football had been turned down to a subdued level and as they entered, Jo flicked the overhead lights off so that the room was bathed in soft illumination from the standard lamps, the television and the candles alone.

"This looks amazing," Lucy stated, breathlessly, half turning towards her fiancée. "You are amazing. I just keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you. Please don't ever change. Don't think that you ever need to be anything more than you are for me. You are everything I could ever imagine wanting and a whole lot more besides."

"Same goes for me too, love. I love you so much and this," Jo indicated the setting for their meal, "this is just a tiny token of my affection for you. Just wait until I get your engagement ring. You'll need a crane to lift your arm up!" the brunette told her confidently.

"I don't need anything extravagant, Jo. I have the greatest treasure, one that money can't buy: I have your love and your promise to marry me," Lucy rejoined, placing the bag of food on the floor beside the low table, swooning all over again as she spied the cushions Jo had arranged on the carpet for them to sit on. "Besides, I know how much I must mean to you if you're willing to tear your attention away from the City/United derby match to share dinner with me!" Lucy winked teasingly, knowing how legendary Jo's focus was when it came to her beloved football.

"I know which side my bread's buttered. United are throwing the match away, but I reckon I might still stand a chance of scoring tonight," Jo replied, urging Lucy to take her seat and offering her a brief shoulder massage whilst stood behind her lover.

"Oh you do, do you?" Lucy queried, amused scepticism written all over her expressive features.

"Mm-hmm," Jo confirmed, dropping a kiss on to the curly crown in front of her before settling herself on the cushion beside her now seated partner.

"I suspect you might just be right…about United throwing the game away," Lucy teased playfully as another goal went flying past their luckless goalkeeper.

"Damnit," Jo cursed, grabbing the remote and turning the television off in despair, not wanting to witness any more of the capitulation.

"Oh, now I think your chances of scoring just increased exponentially." Lucy calmly set about dishing up the steaming Indian food, wanting to eat before it went cold but still hoping to maintain the jovial, light-hearted, almost care-free ambience they were creating for themselves. Her mouth started watering as she saw exactly what Jo had ordered for them both, knowing that there would be a great deal of sharing going on given that both dishes vied for title of her favourite. "The odds on you scoring are definitely getting shorter by the second! You spoil me, babe."

"You're worth spoiling," Jo murmured as she leant in close, lips brushing over the smooth skin of Lucy's neck. "I think we better eat before I dive straight into dessert," she whispered directly into the younger woman's ear, causing her to shiver in delightful anticipation.

* * *

Moira climbed the stairs in search of her sister. She had barely seen Lorna all evening and was becoming increasingly concerned with her withdrawal. Her feet carried her to Katie's room instinctively, finding the older woman curled into the foetal position on the slim, single bed.

"Hey Lollipop, let me get you something to eat," Moira coaxed gently, keeping her voice soft.

"I'm not hungry," came the standard response, heard so many times since Katie's disappearance.

"I don't suppose you are sweetheart but that doesn't mean your body couldn't use something to give you the energy to keep fighting this fight," Moira advised sagely.

"I just want her back," Lorna cried. "I just want to… go back to how things were; me and Katie… and Sam. I miss her. I miss them both."

Moira perched on the edge of the bed, soothing a hand over Lorna's shoulder and down her arm supportively. "Have you talked with Sam since she went to work?"

Lorna shook her head. "She'll be busy keeping on top of all the open cases besides Katie's. I can't keep bothering her all the time just because I'm feeling clingy."

"She loves you, Lorna. She'd want to know you were missing her and she'd want to help if she could. Why don't you give her a text, see how her shift's gone? You never know, she might be needing to hear from you just as much as you need to hear from her." Moira retrieved Lorna's mobile phone from the bedside cabinet but once again her sister shook her head, refusing to take the device.

"I've been on my own all these years, I should be able to deal with this without being so reliant on Sam. I can't put all this on her, I can't make her my crutch or I'll drive her away. I have to be strong enough to handle it myself."

"If you won't let Sam offer you comfort and support, will you pray with me and let God help you find the strength you're searching for? Please?" Moira implored.

"I'm sorry, Mor, you know I don't share your faith," Lorna began.

"I know but where's the harm in giving it a go?" Moira was almost begging, hating to feel so powerless to ease her sister's suffering.

Sensing that it would offer quietude to Moira, Lorna reluctantly agreed, shuffling up the bed until she was sitting against the headboard, bowing her head reverently as Moira clasped their hands together and began reciting her prayer.

"Dear Lord, please help Your child, Lorna, to find the strength and peace she is seeking. Watch over her and guide her back to the light from these dark days she is walking through. Please send Your angels to watch over my niece, Katie, while she is lost to us and keep her safe until she can find her way back home. Please guide all those who are working tirelessly to find her so that they might bring her home to us soon. And please continue to bless my sister with the love You have sent to her through Sam. Keep Sam safe and give her, too, the strength she needs to support all those who are looking to her. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen."

Despite not believing in God's presence in the same way her sister did, Lorna did murmur a quiet, "Amen," as Moira completed her prayer. Her heart yearned to trust that there was some higher power, some almighty presence who could right her world again and prevent it from spinning further off its axis. Only time would tell if any of Moira's prayer would be answered.

* * *

Sam trudged wearily through her front door, grateful to see the back of a frustrating shift and tired beyond belief. The exertions of the past few days – the late nights, the disturbed sleep, the constant worry – was beginning to tell on her. Gina Gold had already told her earlier in the day that she looked 'like shit', in her usual caustic manner. Sam had simply smiled and brushed it off, not willing to discuss it in the middle of a corridor of the police station with countless ears listening in. She was in no way ashamed of her relationship with Lorna but it was all still so new and she thought that Lorna, at the very least, had a right to be consulted before the nature of the liaison became fodder for station gossip. The blonde wandered through to the lounge, tossing her handbag onto the sofa and sinking into the nearest chair. She knew she should move, should climb the stairs and crawl into her bed but her mind was restless in a way she couldn't accurately define. She laid her head back on the upright cushion of the armchair, letting her mind wander freely, seeing if she couldn't pinpoint what it was preventing her from switching off by not actively thinking about anything, just following her natural trains of thought. Her eyes drifted shut allowing an image of startling clarity to jump to the forefront of her brain. Lorna. Without understanding how she knew, Sam realised that she had an overwhelming urge to speak to Lorna, sensing that something was troubling her. She glanced at the clock and hoped that she wouldn't wake either her lover or Moira with her phone call. She padded through into the hallway to retrieve the cordless handset, grabbing her post on the way, mindlessly thumbing through the usual raft of bills, fake lottery scams, junk mail and promotional blurb. A padded envelope stood out from the crowd. Tossing the rest of the mail aside, Sam tore open the package, shaking out its contents. She was very grateful she hadn't already dialled Lorna's number as a severed eyeball, enclosed in a zip lock sandwich bag, slithered out of the envelope and on to her side table, swiftly followed by a blood curdling shriek.


	44. Chapter 44

**How is it Thursday already? What happened to the rest of the week? I think I must have missed it when I blinked! That's what having a rip-roaring weekend of fun and frolics followed by two days training does for you I guess. Hope everyone else's week has been a good one.**

**As always, thanks to all you lovely people who take the time to read this story and a special thank you to those who also take the time to review. Your encouragement, critiques and comments are all very welcome and very much appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even my own mind any more, it's been taken over by aliens! So anything you recognise from here-on-in, I lay absolutely no claim to whatsoever.**

* * *

Sam stood in her kitchen, arms wrapped around herself in a vain attempt to ward off the shivers constantly pulsating through her body. The house had been taken over by her colleagues as they tried to piece together the origin of the delivered eyeball and what the cryptic message sent along with it might mean. Abi and Jared were huddled together at the kitchen, the youngster too little to understand what was going on and fast asleep in his mother's arms, oblivious to the hustle and bustle around him.

"What's going on, Mum? Why is someone targeting you?" Abi asked, voice timid and shaky, a testament to her own distress despite having been spared seeing the contents of the package Sam had opened.

"I wish I could explain it to you but I'm not allowed to, certainly not while there are so many people around…"

"But these are your colleagues. Why can't you talk in front of them?" Abi interrupted with a frown.

"It's complicated. Abi, please, don't fight me on this. Just trust me when I say listen to any and all advice you're given from here on in regarding yours and Jared's safety, ok? The people responsible for this… well they're not reasonable people and they'll stop at nothing to protect their own interests. I don't want either of you getting caught up in this," Sam explained mournfully.

"These people, are they the ones who took Lorna's daughter?" Abi queried, fixing her mother with a level stare Sam herself had perfected to intimidate the recipient into talking.

"It's a possibility, yes," the older blonde admitted, hugging herself more tightly and willing her mind to wipe the image of the eyeball from its existence.

"Well you can't stay here then, can you? I mean, if it is them and they know where you live, you're not safe to stay here on your own, are you?"

Sam's mind reeled at the prospect of having to leave her home, having to leave so many things behind that she cared about. "I… don't know what happens next," she admitted, chin dropping to her chest as tears pricked her eyes.

"What happens next is that you pack a bag, both of you, and we move you to a safe house until we can determine the extent of the threat against you," a burly man informed them as his bulk filled the kitchen doorway. "You have ten minutes before we leave," he instructed before turning to leave.

"I'm not going anywhere. I have a life. Besides, it's not me they're after, it's her," Abi spat bitterly, fatigue and fear shortening her already quick temper.

"And if they want to hurt her, they will just as readily do it through abducting, torturing or killing you and/or your son as they would be directly harming your mother," the unnamed officer barked.

"Abi, please! What did I just say about listening to advice to protect you? Just pack up what you can for you and Jared and come with me, please." Whilst Sam herself wasn't thrilled at the prospect of being transported to an anonymous location, at least if Abi was with her, that would be one less thing she had to worry about. She spun around to face the officer, who appeared to be expecting further dissent from his charges. "You need to get someone round to Lorna Hart's house too. If I'm at risk, she will be too – we were working together on the case I suspect this is connected to."

"I'm sorry Ms Nixon, my only orders are to transport your family to the safe house. If Ms Hart requires protection, that will be arranged separately." Sam's heart thudded heavily in her chest at the prospect of being separated from the woman who had come to mean so much to her in such a short space of time. A lone tear trickled from her eye, snaking down her pale cheek unimpeded. She dashed from the kitchen, racing up the stairs and into her bedroom, firmly shutting the door behind her and leaning against it as her defences crumbled and the tears coursed freely over her face.

* * *

Lorna was awoken by the buzzing of her mobile as it vibrated against the varnished surface of Katie's nightstand. Groggily she snatched up the device, sparing a brief glance at the caller ID display before answering.

"Hello?" she rasped, still trying to shake off the last vestiges of her interrupted slumbers.

"Lorna, I'm sorry," Sam managed to choke out before dissolving into another round of sobs.

"No…" Lorna breathed, immediately fearing the worst for her daughter. "No, no, no, no, no," she cried, clutching the phone tightly to her ear as though the pressure would change what she was hearing.

There were faint sounds of other voices on the other end of the device, voices Lorna didn't recognise. "We have to go. Now, Ms Nixon. You need to end your phone call and let's move out." Lorna frowned in confusion.

"Move out? What's going on? Sam? Sam, talk to me! What's happening? Is it Katie? Please just tell me, have you found my daughter? Is she…"

"It's not Katie, Lorna. I'm so sorry. I've got to go… away. There's been a threat made. I'll… I'll contact you when I can. I know it's a lot to ask but can you let Jo know? I don't want her to think I don't care. I do, I care… so much about you both." The phone call was disconnected abruptly before Lorna had chance to say anything more to her lover.

"Sam? Sam? SAM!" she called fruitlessly into the tiny handset, growling in frustrated terror. The door to Katie's room burst open, her sister framed in the space, backlit by the landing light.

"What's going on Lorna?" Moira asked as she took in her sister's ashen face. Lorna's wide-eyed gaze fell on the other woman before those same eyes narrowed accusingly.

"Your God has just taken Sam from me too," Lorna spat, chest heaving.

"WHAT? She's…" Thinking the worst, Moira stumbled to the bed, sinking onto it before asking tremulously, "what happened?"

"There was a threat made against her apparently. Whatever it was, it was significant enough to warrant her having to go into hiding. They're moving her to God knows where and I'll not be able to see her or speak to her wherever she is. If they don't catch every single one of the bastards behind this, she'll be gone forever because there will always be too high a threat against her. I'll never know if anything happens to her. I'll never be able to hold her again. Is this what He thinks is answering your prayer? Have I been such a horrendous person that He needs to torture me in every conceivable way?" Lorna raved, crazed by the latest sucker punch to be delivered whilst she already felt like she way down.

Moira released a thankful sigh as she understood that Sam hadn't been killed, like she had initially assumed. "I realise it might not seem like it right now, but perhaps in time we will come to see that God is answering my prayers. Perhaps this is His way of making sure Sam is safe and able to be with you for the long term future. He never does anything without a reason and He is not a vengeful God who seeks to punish or persecute His people. Hold on to the faith that Sam will be returned to you when it is safe for her to do so," Moira offered in what she hoped was a comforting manner, her own belief in God unwavering.

"Not vengeful? So what the hell were those plagues He unleashed then? That flood where everything perished except for those chosen by Him? How can I believe He's not punishing me for loving a woman when everything that's happening suggests otherwise? First my daughter, now my partner. What next? I almost wish it will be my turn next. Because I don't want to face a future without two of the most important people in my life. I can't… I couldn't…" Lorna's rant trailed off as she dissolved into tears at the prospect of losing Sam forever. "I should have called her earlier. I should have insisted she stay here. We could have fitted Abi and Jared in as well somehow. Oh God… Abi. Sam never mentioned her. What if they'd already left and Sam's all alone somewhere facing the prospect of never seeing her daughter or grandson again?"

Knowing there was nothing she could say to ease her sister's suffering, Moira opted to simply gather Lorna into a fierce hug, offering up a silent prayer to end her pain soon.

* * *

Jo guided Lucy's naked body down onto the crisp, clean sheets of their double bed, her own following suit as they arranged their limbs to maximise bodily contact. Their mounds pressed against one another, fanning the flames of their desire. Lips collided in a heated, passionate exchange, tongues caressing, massaging, stroking. Fingertips lingered over sensitive areas as they traversed the flesh on display, probing known erotic zones skilfully. The room was filled with the sounds of their shared heavy breathing, the scent of their joint arousal tantalisingly teasing their senses as they rocked against one another, driving themselves ever onwards towards the peak of ecstasy. As each felt their orgasm gathering, they looked deeply into one another's eyes, conversing without words, letting their love flow from soul to soul in a joyful celebration of their union. For long moments after they came down, the two women rested together in their embrace, neither wishing to move and break the spell they had created. Eventually, Jo rolled onto her back, pulling Lucy along with her so that they were lying side by side, Lucy's head cradled in the crook of Jo's neck, arm draped over her flat stomach, leg curled possessively around the detective's thigh. Sated and secure in love for one another, they drifted off into a blissful sleep, each feeling more positive than they had for weeks.

* * *

"Detective Inspector Nixon, get in the car. Now!" came the harshly hissed order.

"No!" Sam whispered, equally as vehemently. "You can't force me into protective custody. Either you take me to Sun Hill police station or I stay right here, in my own home."

"You risk getting yourself or your family killed if you do that," the MI5 agent assigned to escort the officer to the safe house repeated, exasperation lacing his tone.

"And if I go into hiding, I'll lose everything anyway; my family, my job, my home, my friends, my partner. That's not living, that's existing on the most basic scale. I won't let anyone drive me away from where I need to be. I have a job to do and I fully intend on doing it," Sam insisted. Hearing Lorna's voice, the crumbling despair as she thought that Katie had been found dead, had strengthened Sam's resolve that she would not be cowed by bullying tactics and scaremongering. Abi had already flounced off, taking Jared and informing her mother that they would be at Mike's.

"We can't protect you if you won't let us take you to a place of safety," the agent tried to reason with her.

"I'm prepared to take responsibility for my own safety and I highly doubt anyone is about to try to kill me in a police station. These people might be bold but they're not actively seeking to be caught in the act."

"And on your way to and from work? How do you propose to avoid meeting with an unfortunate accident then? And when you're home, alone, what would be to stop someone taking care of you to prevent you from uncovering any more of their secrets?"

"Nothing but at least I'd be living my life and not constantly looking over my shoulder somewhere I was a stranger with nothing to offer anyone," Sam replied, digging her heels in further and further with every attempt that was made to sway her.

"Fine. Get in the car, I'll drive you to the police station," the agent offered at length, seemingly admitting defeat.

"No. You give me my phone back and my car keys and if you choose to escort me to work, then I won't stop you but I am going under my own steam. I'm not being kidnapped by you and forced into hiding – I wasn't born yesterday." The dynamic blonde levelled a cool glare at the swarthy skinned agent, raising one eyebrow in an unspoken challenge to deny that had been his intention. There was something about him she didn't trust and given the connections and influence the paedophile group she and Lorna had stumbled across appeared to have, she was more inclined than ever to trust her instincts about people until they proved her wrong. Grudgingly, her demands were met, her phone and car keys deposited in her outstretched palm.

"I will have to insist on your car being checked for explosive devices before you drive it and I'd like you to consider allowing us to install a tracking device in case we should need to monitor your whereabouts," Sam was told coolly.

"I accept the former but decline the tracking device. I'm not comfortable with that given the probability of such information becoming accessible to those I am being threatened by." Sam saw that he was about to argue with her but she held up a hand to forestall him. "I want your assurances that I will not be monitored in any way I have not given informed consent to – no tailing me unless it has been previously arranged, no devices installed in my phone, my car or my clothing, no listening or recording devices in my home and definitely no round the clock shadow."

"You are putting yourself directly in their cross hairs without any kind of cover to protect you, Ms Nixon. This is not some small time criminal gang who want to give you a bit of a scare to stop you from queering their pitch. These are seriously dangerous, ruthless and organised men and women who will do whatever they need to do to protect their interests and enable them and their peers to continue with their illegal activities. What you are suggesting is tantamount to a suicide mission."

"So be it but it's about damn time someone stands firm in the face of their intimidation and refuses to be cowed. Someone needs to be prepared to say enough is enough," Sam stated determinedly, pulling herself up to her full height in an effort to exude the confidence she was attempting to project.

"And who will take up the baton if you fall? Don't plan to be a martyr unless you're absolutely sure it will lead to a cessation of these activities." The agent turned away from his wilful charge, taking out his own mobile and dialling through to his superiors to give them an update on the situation.

* * *

Jo woke first the following morning, a gentle smile spreading across her face as she felt her fiancée's warm breath tickling across her collarbone. The brunette's fingertip began a gentle exploration of Lucy's naked flesh, allowing her hands to map the contours and plains of the body she loved so well. Gently extricating herself from her position partially beneath the younger woman, Jo sighed contentedly as she propped herself up on one elbow and gazed down upon her still slumbering lover, who had rolled over fully onto her stomach, burying her head in the pillow Jo had just vacated. The detective decided to give Lucy a rather enjoyable wake up and positioned herself where she could trail kisses down the now accessible column of her spine. She pressed open-mouthed kisses against the raised nodule of each vertebra, closely followed by a breath of cool air blown over the heated skin. One handed preceded her oral trail, lightly caressing and massaging the smooth, rounded globes of Lucy's buttocks before journeying lower to the backs of her thighs. As Jo reached the inward curve at the small of her fiancée's back, her eyes fell on a large, purpling bruise, a frown settling over her features as she traced the very edge of the blemish with the hand which had been teasing Lucy's inner thigh.

"It's nothing," Lucy mumbled into the pillow. "Just a little accident at the office yesterday afternoon. It'll teach me to be more careful."

"What happened? It looks painful. Want me to get you an ice-pack to put on it or something?" Jo asked, pressing another kiss against bottom edge of the young woman's shoulder blade.

"I doubt ice would do it much good now if the bruising has already come out. I'll be ok, I'll just pop a couple of painkillers for it in a bit. Honestly sweetheart, let's not worry about that when I was so enjoying what you were doing for me." The evasiveness of her lover's answer did nothing to ease Jo's concern.

"It's a fairly big bruise, babe. You must have fallen against something pretty hard to get it. Did you put it in the accident book?"

"Jo, why are you making such a big deal out of it? It's not like I broke anything, it's _just_ a bruise," Lucy groused, rolling onto her back and hiding the offending contusion from her lover's questioning gaze even though it pained her to lie on it.

"If it's no big deal, why won't you tell me how it happened?" Jo fired back, ever the detective.

"Oh for crying out loud…" Lucy huffed, moving to get out of bed. Her escape was prevented when Jo wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back against Jo's own body gently, mindful of both their fragile states.

"Tell me, Lucy, _please_," the brunette implored softly. "Talk to me, love." She felt the younger woman trembling in her arms, tiny fluttering of muscles which increased as she fought to retain control of her emotions.

"I shouldn't have gone in. I should have listened to my gut and told him I wasn't available to work yesterday." Lucy turned in her lover's embrace and buried her head in the older woman's chest. "He followed me into the copy room and brushed against me again. When I turned around to tell him to stop and to try and leave, he pushed me against the photocopier hard and tried to press himself up against me."

Jo too was trembling by this time, but whilst she suspected Lucy's was out of shock, her own was due to pure rage at the audacity of the man who had assaulted her partner. "You can't go back there. No one can expect you to work with a guy who is sexually harassing you."

"He won't try it again," Lucy stated assuredly, settling herself more comfortably in her girlfriend's arm, relishing the safe feeling they evoked in her.

"How can you be sure? Did you report him?" Jo asked, snuggling closer and wrapping more of her own body around that of her lover.

"I kneed him in the gonads and as I was leaving one of the guys, James, stepped into the room and said he'd seen everything. He's willing to back me up in a formal complaint of sexual harassment and bullying in the workplace. I told Derek if he ever so much as looks at me the wrong way again, I _will_ make that complaint." Lucy allowed herself to relax against Jo, eyes drifting closed once more as she felt the weight of carrying her secret be released.

"You should make the complaint anyway sweetheart. Don't wait for him to try something else. I really don't want you to get hurt because you're too willing to give people a chance to prove themselves. Not everyone can be trusted to redeem themselves, not even when it's in their own best interests." Jo attempted to make Lucy see things in a different light, knowing that the young woman was amazingly trusting in altruism.

"I honestly think the threat of it is enough to keep him in line. James has promised to keep an eye on him and, since he plays rugby and is built like a brick outhouse, he's definitely not one that Derek will be looking to mess with. Now, can we stop talking about him and get back to enjoying us and the fact that we're getting married? As far as I'm concerned, that's far more important than some homophobic little runt of a man who can't get it through his head that most women wouldn't touch him – straight or gay – even if he was the last man on Earth!" To illustrate her point, Lucy captured Jo's lips in a decidedly possessive kiss, tugging on her full bottom lip with her teeth and thrusting her tongue into Jo's hot, wet, receptive cavern.

* * *

"Sam, what are you doing here?" DCI Meadows asked as he entered CID and saw one of his DI's perched on the edge of a desk chatting with Mickey and Terry.

"There was an incident at my house last night…" Sam began but was interrupted by her superior officer.

"I'm well aware of that. I was informed that you would be relocated and protected. How does that translate to you being here?" Jack growled, not sure who's backside he was going to have to kick but determined that somebody would not sit comfortably for a while for allowing his DI to remain vulnerable.

"Erm…I refused to go to a safe house," Sam admitted quietly, unsurprised when Jack ordered her to follow him into his office so they could continue their conversation in private.

"Would you care to inform me precisely why you refused the protection of trained MI5 officers?" Jack asked gruffly, impressed by the diminutive woman's balls but refusing to show it lest it undermine the serious message he needed to convey to her.

"I couldn't leave everything behind and let everyone down. This team has already lost too many people in a short space of time, Jack. I need to be here, for all of you, for Lorna, for Jo. And a part of me wants to show whoever is behind all this that they can't just throw their weight around and expect everyone to cower or turn a blind eye. It's precisely that kind of thing that has allowed them to get away with what they do for far too long," Sam replied with resolute determination, gaze never wavering from the DCI's own.

"Well you can't very well camp out here indefinitely," he told her.

"Nor do I intend to, Guv. I will go about my life as normal. I won't give in to them, no matter what."

"Don't make us lose you for good, Samantha," Jack cautioned in fatherly fashion, admiring her courage but worried for her safety all the same.

"Someone needs to stop them. Someone needs to make sure no one else has to go through what Dawid and his family did or what Lorna is going through right now. Until their bullying stops working, that's not going to happen."

"Just promise me you will be extra careful," Jack requested resignedly.

"I will. I'm not looking to get myself or anyone else killed. I just want the good guys to win this one for a change," Sam declared.


	45. Chapter 45

**_It's Friday already? Really? Who put the week on fastforward? Seriously, where did that time go? Geez, blink and you miss an entire 7 day period! Sorry for the late update this week, work has been kicking me in the bum resulting in 12 hour work days and very little energy for anything else when I get home. I'm still in the process of writing the next chapter - we've exhausted the bank of pre-prepared chapters I had on stock which I had hoped would see me through the busiest time at the office but I'm hoping to crack on with the story this weekend so normal service should continue. But I just wanted to give you all a heads up in case I skip a week or anything. It's not because I don't love you or because I've lost my love for this story, it's simply a time thing - I need to pause the clock for a week or so, so I can catch up on writing and sleeping!_**

**_As always, thank you to those of you continuing to read this and huge, extra special cookie laden thanks to those wonderful people who leave their reviews. It really does help to know someone is liking what they're reading as much as I'm enjoying writing it! So major thanks to A for Antechinus, Sez01 and iheartsergeantsmith for persistently reviewing :)_**

**_Same disclaimer applies as previous - I own nothing and no one that you recognise from The Bill, I make no profit nor money of any kind and I promise they'll be returned to their storage containers in one piece when I've finished torturing them!_**

* * *

"Jo, honey, wake up," Lucy called, rubbing her lover's shoulder with her free hand. "It's Sam, she wants to talk to you." The younger brunette handed over the phone as Jo pulled herself into a seated position.

"Hi Sam," she murmured, voice rusty from sleep.

"Hi Jo. Sorry, I didn't mean for Lucy to wake you up especially," Sam apologised to her friend, grateful that Lucy appeared to have forgiven the near miss kiss between herself and Jo, and that she appeared to have phoned before Lorna spoke to them about the day's developments.

"Don't be daft, I'm glad she did. I've missed you, we've not had chance to chat that much recently with one thing and another. How are things? Any word on Katie?" Jo asked as her mind shook off the fog and fully awakened.

"No, nothing as yet. I try to focus on no news being good news – at least we're not dredging her body out of the river or anything." Jo could tell that there was more on Sam's mind than she was letting on and hoped Lucy wouldn't object to her extending an invitation for her colleague to come over for a visit.

"Why don't you come for a cuppa and we can catch up properly? You're not working until later, right?" Jo caught Lucy's eye, squinting a little in fearful anticipation as she waited for a response from both women. Her fiancée simply smiled serenely and placed a kiss against Jo's temple in silent acquiescence.

"Are you sure that would be ok? I mean…" Sam faltered, unsure of how to broach the subject.

"Of course, Lucy and I would love to see you," Jo assured, breath hitching a little as Lucy took the phone from her hand.

"Hi Sam, it's Lucy again. I just wanted to reiterate what Jo said. It really would be great to see you and catch up on your news. Only, if you do come over, can I be really cheeky and ask you to pick up some more milk on the way? Ours might just be ready to turn to cheese by now!" Sam's relieved laughter could be heard by both women on the other end of the phone.

"Absolutely," Sam replied with a smile. "Anything else you want picking up?"

"I don't think so, hang on a sec," Lucy instructed. "Jo, is there anything you're fancying that we haven't got in?"

"Nah, I've got everything I fancy right here, thanks," Jo retorted saucily causing Lucy to playfully slap her and Sam to groan.

"I'll let you both go then but just make sure you're decent before I get there, ok?" Sam teased, so very glad that their light-hearted banter had returned and feeling the need for it more than ever. She only hoped her next phone call would go as smoothly.

"See you shortly," Lucy replied flipping the phone shut without making any promises regarding being decent when their company arrived.

* * *

Sam pulled up outside the small, unobtrusive terraced house, stomach flip-flopping with nerves as she considered whether she really should be there or not. On the one hand, she had a burning desire to reconnect with the woman inside but on the other, she also didn't want to add pressure to an already turbulent time or bring added risk to her life. Calling on every reserve of courage she had, the blonde woman climbed out of her Peugeot and made her way on shaky legs to the front door, ringing the bell and holding her breath as she waited for her hostess to answer.

"Sam!" Lorna cried as soon as she opened the door wide enough to see who was calling on her. She gathered her lover into a crushing hug, desperate to prove that the woman before her was real and not some figment of her exhausted imagination. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you somewhere safe?"

"I couldn't… I couldn't let you all down like that. I couldn't leave you to go through this without knowing I was beside you, doing everything I could to help," Sam replied, eyes watering as she felt the rightness of being in Lorna's arms once again.

"I thought I'd lost you," the Scot sobbed into Sam's shoulder, not caring that they were still standing on her doorstep for the world to see.

"I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere," the DI assured softly, running a hand through the thick, luscious flaming locks tickling her cheek.

"But they… they're… you're not safe." Lorna raised her head from its resting place, teeth worrying at her bottom lip as she considered the implications of Sam's refusal to allow herself to be placed under the protection of those trained to keep witnesses safe where necessary.

"Nor is anyone until these people are stopped," Sam countered, cupping Lorna's cheek with her palm.

"Come in," Lorna requested, wanting to never let the other woman out of her sight again.

"Actually, I'm on my way to see Jo and I was hoping you'd come with me? That way, I can fill you both in on what happened and I can catch up with you both before I have to work later."

"I… I can't leave… what if they call again? What if Katie comes home and I'm not here?" Lorna's breathing was frantic, her chest heaving with the onset of a panic attack.

"Deep breaths. Deep, slow breaths, honey." Sam waited a moment or two, breathing herself as she was encouraging Lorna to do. "You can't stay home all the time just in case something happens. You've not left the house in days. Please sweetheart? We can leave Jo's number with Moira…" Sam explained patiently.

"She's not here. I sent her home to get some proper rest and to spend some time with her husband. He's been so kind, so patient but she needs to give him some attention too. I can't expect her to babysit me constantly."

"You don't need babysitting, Lorna. Keeping company, supporting yes but not babysitting. Why don't you text Moira or give her a call on the way to Jo's and let her know where you'll be? I'll let Grace know so she knows how to contact you if there's any news or developments with Katie's case. Please, Lorna, you can't put your life on hold indefinitely." Sam's eyes bore into Lorna's pain-filled green orbs, imploring her to see the sense in what she was saying. "I promise, we won't be out too long. Jo still tires easily and I have to be back at the station by two."

A shiver raced through the Scot's body as a gust of frigid winter wind rushed by them. She gathered her long, boyfriend-style cardigan around her thin body to ward off the worst of the chill. She mentally weighed up her options; to stay home, alone, wallowing in her loneliness or to risk leaving the house to spend time with the woman she was rapidly growing to adore. "OK…" Lorna conceded at length. "OK, I'll come with you. But can we stop off somewhere on the way so I can pick Jo up some flowers or something? I wouldn't feel right arriving empty handed."

"Of course we can. I need to get some milk for them anyway, otherwise we won't be having a cuppa of anything unless you take it black so it's no problem at all," Sam beamed, glad to have the chance to offer Lorna a change of scenery for a while and hoping it might just prove beneficial to the taller woman.

"Will you come in for a second while I grab my purse and a jacket?" Lorna asked softly, so very glad that Sam had opted to stand firm in the face of whatever threat she had received, even as she worried for the detective's safety.

"Sure," Sam agreed, stepping inside the front door and pushing it closed behind her.

"There's just one more thing I need to do before we go," Lorna admitted, suddenly appearing a little bashful.

"Anything you need to do, love," Sam assured with an encouraging smile.

"I just need to do…this," Lorna breathed as she closed the distance between herself and her new partner, capturing inviting lips with her own and offering a physical worship of her mouth. Sam returned the kiss fervently, relishing the contact like a dying man rejoices over water in a desert. They spent long moments clutching tightly to one another, tongues massaging their opposite number, lips crushed together, before drawing away to suck in deep lungs full of air.

"Not that I'm complaining in the slightest but what was that in aid of?" Sam queried when she had regained her breath. There was a husky quality to her voice which sent frissons of desire dancing down Lorna's spine and eliciting a feral growl from the fiery redhead.

"To let you know how happy I am you're here, how much I missed you last night and how much I appreciate your support, even when I try to drive you away," Lorna supplied, arms resting loosely in the small of Sam's back. "Now, I suggest we make a move or Jo and Lucy might have to send out a search party!"

With a quirked eyebrow and a saucy wink, Sam extricated herself from the embrace, trailing fingertips over the soft material covering Lorna's arms. "Come on then, lover-girl before I can't resist you any longer."

* * *

"Sam, good to see you. We were beginning to think you were off milking a cow somewhere," Lucy quipped as she opened the door to her lover's best friend. She welcomed the diminutive blonde into their home with a swift warm hug, determined to show from the outset that there'd be no hard feelings between them.

"No, just picking up another passenger along the way," Sam explained, beckoning for Lorna to step into view also.

"Lorna, honey, aw I'm so glad you came. How are you holding up? Come on in out of the cold. Jo will be delighted you've come to visit," Lucy gushed genuinely, pulling a stunned Scot into her arms for a tight hug too. Lorna allowed herself to relax as she felt Sam's hand brush against the small of her back in a supportive and comforting gesture. She returned the embrace with one arm, the other preoccupied with the flowers and reading material she had brought along for Jo. "Come through to the lounge. Lady Muck's sprawled on the sofa with some God-awful made-for-TV movie on," Lucy directed, steering the two women into the room and hooking the milk out of Sam's hands before scuttling off to the kitchen to prepare hot drinks.

"Don't get up on our account will you, Jo?" Sam called as she entered the living room and saw that Jo was indeed stretched full length on the sofa, head propped up on the arm rest at one end while her legs dangled over the rest at the other end.

"Sam! And Lorna too!" Jo cried, pulling herself up from her prone position and striding over to her two friends to give them a proper welcome. She hugged each of them in turn, holding Lorna a little tighter and a few seconds longer than Sam to convey her silent support of her situation.

"I brought these for you," Lorna offered shyly, holding the bag of goodies out towards the detective.

"Oh Lorna, you shouldn't have but thank you," Jo murmured, her praise heartfelt as the gesture touched her greatly. "Look, Luce, aren't these gorgeous?"

Lucy stepped fully into the room and deftly took the mixed bouquet of rich red carnations and delicate white alstroemeria from her lover's hands. "They certainly are. Why don't you three make yourselves comfortable? I'll put these in some water and bring in some drinks. Anyone want some cake with their brew? There's a carrot cake or lemon if anyone prefers that?"

"No cake for me thanks love, I'll just have a glass of water please," Jo requested with a tired smile, feeling a little queasy but not wanting to put a downer on the occasion.

"Coffee and some carrot cake sounds divine, thanks Lucy," Sam replied settling herself into one of the arm chairs before she was shooed out of it and onto the sofa by both Lucy and Jo.

Lorna was directed to sit beside her lover and sank gratefully into the inviting cushions, still weary from the lack of regular sleep or general self-care since Katie's disappearance. "Same for me if that's ok?" she enquired, asking, "is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yes, you can sit there and relax," Lucy told her firmly before spinning on her heel and making her way back to the kitchen.

The three remaining women looked at one another for a moment, each having so many things going through their heads but none knowing where to start. Sam was taken aback back the radical difference in Jo's appearance since the last time she had seen her. Gone were her luscious, long chestnut locks and in its place, a deep maroon coloured bandana with an irregular faint pattern criss-crossing its surface. Her cheeks were pallid, eyes more sunken and her skin taking on an almost translucent appearance as the chemotherapy began to take its toll on her body. The weight she had lost was not insignificant either, though she suspected the same could probably be said of herself and Lorna too.

"Any news on Katie?" Jo asked softly, breaking the silence and looking between the two visitors.

"Unfortunately not, no," Sam admitted, taking hold of Lorna's closest hand and squeezing it gently. "Neil, Grace, Mickey and Terry are all working solely on her case though so hopefully something will come up soon."

"Well, if there's anything Lucy or I can do, anytime, you just let us know, ok?" Jo offered sincerely, leaning forward in her arm chair and patting Lorna's knee briefly. "Even if it's just having someone to sit with you for a while and keep you company, I can manage that, even on days when I've been zapped - if you don't mind me puking and passing out at random intervals!" As always, Jo hid her message amongst her usual sardonic humour.

"Is the chemo as awful as you expected it to be?" Sam asked softly, slight frown marring her brow as she cast a glance over her friend's disease ravaged body.

"It has it's grim days but in between treatments, I think my body's adapting to the constant tiredness and nausea now. Obviously, my hair has been a casualty but hey, I'd had the same style for too long anyway. It was time for a change." Jo attempted to brush off the side effects as though they were nothing more than minor inconveniences but both Sam and Lorna saw right through her.

"Jo…" Sam growled but the brunette just shook her head.

"I'm ok with it, or getting to be at least. It's less of a shock every time I look in the mirror and I know that it's only temporary until I finish my treatment and kick this thing into touch," Jo expanded.

"I hope that's not me you're talking about there," Lucy stated with mock annoyance as she brought the drinks in on a tray, along with sugar and the milk Sam had brought.

"Of course not, you're not a 'thing', you're my fiancée!" Jo assured her, grabbing her around her waist and pulling her into the chair on top of her, wincing a little as a stray elbow collided with her still tender surgery site.

"Fiancée?" Sam queried excitedly.

"Yep. I finally pulled my head out of my arse and agreed to marry Luce. I had my eyes opened to the fact that waiting for the perfect time might mean I miss the chance altogether so…" Jo shrugged bashfully.

"Congratulations, both of you. I can't think of a more deserving couple than you two," the blonde DI cooed with a beaming smile.

"I agree. Life is definitely too short to spend it waiting for the timing to be perfect. You make a lovely couple," Lorna agreed warmly, looking at the two women together for the first time and seeing instantly how well suited they were to one another. Their mutual love was obvious from their interactions and from the way they lost themselves in each other's gaze.

"Thank you. Of course, when we set a date, we'd love for you both to be there," Lucy informed them, knowing that, whilst they hadn't agreed on a guest list as yet, Jo would want to celebrate their union with her closest friend and that friend's partner. She herself hoped that Katie too would be able to make it to their wedding day. She was gratified to see both of them nod their assent that they would indeed make every effort to attend. She carefully extricated herself from Jo's lap, not wanting to risk further injury to her lover, and settled into the remaining arm chair comfortably.

"So how about you two? Are you officially 'together' together? Or are you just keeping it casual at the moment?" Jo queried, never one to beat around the bush when she wanted to know something.

Lorna looked a little stunned that Jo should know about the nature of her relationship with Sam given that she had been absent for much of the time they had been growing steadily closer. "We… uh… I,"

"Relax Lorna, you're amongst friends here," Lucy assured her, slapping Jo on the thigh for putting the frighteners on the Scot.

"We've not really discussed it directly," Sam admitted before focusing on Lorna alone, "but I know that what I feel isn't just a casual fling or some passing curiosity. There's no one else I want to be with right now." Lorna's deer-in-the-headlights mask melted, replaced by a beatific smile.

"Sam…" the redhead murmured breathlessly, wondering how she could cause such a strong reaction in her with such a simple gesture.

Jo and Lucy exchanged a warm smile, Lucy wrinkling her nose up in adoration at the connection they were witnessing. Jo winked at her playfully in a move which suggested she had known precisely what she was doing when she asked the question of her friends.

The four women chatted amiably over their drinks, sharing innocuous tales of their lives in the time they had not seen one another before Sam admitted that something had happened to shake her up. It was the first Jo and Lucy had heard of it, Lorna not having had chance to call the previous night due to her own distress.

"I received a package, posted to me at home. I opened it last night and… it was an eyeball which we are assuming is human but lab results should be back fairly soon. Along with it, as if that wasn't bad enough, was a cryptic but explicit threat that I am under surveillance and if I don't stop pursuing those who hurt Dawid, I can expect a whole world of pain to follow."

"Dawid?" Lucy queried, the name vaguely ringing a bell but not being able to place it.

"The case I was working on before I had to take sick leave, a young lad taken by some very bad people," Jo supplied briefly before turning her attention back to the DI. "So what's being done to protect you?"

"I was supposed to go to a safe house last night. They offered me witness protection until it's over but I refused to go." Sam took hold of Lorna's hand, clasping it between both her own as she continued, "I couldn't just walk away from everything I've worked for, everyone I care about and hope that somehow justice is done and I can come back. I need to be here. I need to do my job so the others can focus on getting Katie back safe and sound. And I need to be with Lorna."

"The eyeball… what if it's… it could be…" Lorna struggled to explain what she was trying to say.

"It's not Katie's," Sam assured her confidently.

"How can you be sure?" Lorna asked dejectedly, trying to wrestle her hand back from Sam but Sam resolutely hung on to the flailing limb.

"Because Katie has your eyes, your beautiful emerald green eyes. The one I received…wasn't green," Sam explained softly, not wanting to offer too much in the way of gory details given Lucy's presence. The sense of relief emanating from Lorna was palpable, echoed by Jo and Lucy's own relief.

"Does it make me a horrible person to be glad to hear that?" the Scot queried timidly.

"Not at all. It just makes you human," Jo assured the older woman. "You will be careful, won't you, Sam? I mean, from what I've heard, these are not people to be messed with lightly. Didn't you say others who've tried to investigate them have met with all manner of 'accidents'?"

"Of course I'll be careful. For too long, they have been allowed to get away with their intimidation of witnesses and law enforcement. It's time to turn the tables on them and this time, we have evidence to bring them down. Evidence which won't magically disappear because someone interferes with the investigation. The only people working this have all been thoroughly checked out and can be vouched for – even those at MI5 apparently. Now they're involved, there's a lot about the case we don't know but Jack assures me that progress is still being made and I'd be willing to bet that the heat is on which is why they are stepping up the campaign to get us to back off. I knew what I was getting involved in before I went to Jack with what we'd found. I'm not about to back down now just because that's what they'd like me to do."

* * *

"How's our newest resident? Finding the accommodations to your liking I trust?" a gruff voice sounded close to Katie's ear. The blindfold had remained on since she had been locked in there on a scratchy, lumpy mattress and she had no way of knowing if that was hours, days, weeks or months ago. She had been offered little in the way of food or water, not that she would trust anything they gave her anyway. Whatever that place was that they were holding her in smelt damp and musty. She was awakened from her fitful sleep frequently by the clanking of old sounding pipes and machinery and the occasional scream from somewhere not too far away.

"The man asked you a question, bitch," another voice barked aggressively.

"No! You don't lay a hand on her. I don't care about her answer or her comfort but I do care about the profit I'm going to make on her. If there is so much as a scrape on her when the time comes to move her, I will find out who is responsible and personally cut off the offending appendage which inflicted the damage with a rusty knife. Do I make myself clear?" the first voice spat.

"Yes sir, perfectly clear."

"Good. See to it that she gets cleaned up. There are just a few final details to iron out and then we can proceed with the transaction. Take her to the shower room but she cleans herself. You can watch, you can even touch yourselves if you must but no one and I mean _no one_ lays a single finger or anything else on her, in her or near her. If she proves difficult, we'll bring her mother in. For every refusal, the mother will pay with a part of her body. That should encourage her to be compliant, if she cares about her family at all."

"Yes sir," the second voice grudgingly acknowledged. A booted toe nudged Katie's thigh firmly but not roughly enough to leave any kind of mark. "Come on bitch, on your feet. Time to take a shower."

She was steered through a maze of corridors, eyes still blindfolded which hampered her movements and her sense of direction. Eventually, she was brought to a halt, breath catching in her throat as icy cold water poured down unexpectedly on top of her.

"Lose the clothes but keep your blindfold on," she was instructed harshly. Remembering what her captor had said about her mum, Katie hurried with frigid, uncooperative fingers to comply with the order. "Now clean yourself up and be quick about it, we don't have all day."

"I'm not sure this is a good idea, Sir. I've seen this guy before, he teaches at her school," Stuart attempted to persuade the man he had to serve that he could be walking into a trap.

"I'm aware of that Mr Turner. He assures me that it is his exposure to her at the school which led him to wish to purchase her for himself. We have completed numerous background checks on him, through various sources. He is who he says he is, of that we can be assured. No undercover agent has an identity so thoroughly constructed that my people on the inside can't find a chink in it. He has pedigree for this kind of transaction, I've actually seen examples of his handiwork for myself and he is rather gifted at this type of thing. Relax Mr Turner, Samantha Nixon is too busy chasing shadows and Lorna Hart has not left her house since her dear daughter disappeared. They are the only two you mentioned we should be concerned about, are they not? Or were you holding out on us?"

"No, no not at all, I wouldn't…" Stuart stammered placatingly. "If you're sure we can trust him, I defer to your judgement."

"Wise man. Now, I think it's time for you to get your hands dirty again don't you? And I have the perfect assignment for you…"


	46. Chapter 46

**_Phew, a little earlier upload than last week! I'm taking a brief break from work, call it a lunch break since it's rare I get one of those! So I thought I'd use my time wisely and upload the next installment of this (not so little) tale. Thanks as always to all you readers for coming along on the journey, with special thanks to my lovely regular reviewers, Sez01, iheartsergeantsmith and A for Antechinus. Hope this lives up to expectations!_**

**_Disclaimer: We all know by now, I own nothing except the shirt on my back and the laptop I type this on so don't both suing me!_**

* * *

"Thank you, for persuading me to come with you to Jo's," Lorna murmured as she stood in her hallway facing Sam, who was preparing to head in to work.

"I'm glad you came. It was good, spending time with you all. It helped to take my mind off things, you know," Sam agreed, stepping into Lorna's personal space and sliding her arms around the taller woman's narrow waist. Lorna snaked her own arms around Sam, clasping her hands together at the small of Sam's back and pulling their bodies flush against one another.

"Mine too," she husked before dipping her head to offer Sam a loving kiss. "Is Abi still staying with you?" she asked when they parted for air.

"No, she ran off back to Mike. I think the eyeball incident gave her the perfect escape route if I'm honest," Sam sighed, resting her head against Lorna's shoulder, face nuzzling her neck.

"What do you mean?" Lorna enquired, rocking them both slightly from side to side.

"I told her about us… about me having feelings for you. It shocked her and it's going to take her some time to come around to the idea of me being with a woman but I do think she _will_ come around to it eventually. In the meantime, I just need to be prepared to accept some thoughtless things that are going to keep coming out of her mouth."

"Like what?" Lorna pulled back, looking concernedly into her lover's expressive blue eyes. "Sam, if this is going to cause a problem between you and Abi, we need to rethink where we're going with it."

"It won't, no more so than anything else I've ever done. Abi is… she's always had a volatile relationship with me, always assumed that the attention I give to anyone or anything else should be hers and hers alone. She was jealous of my job, of Hugh's obsession with me, of my relationship with Phil. She's headstrong and vocal but she usually apologises to me once she's had chance to cool off and think about things rationally. She's very much an act now, think later kind of girl," Sam assured her lover, not wanting her to think that Sam was having second thoughts. "Anyway, why were you asking about Abi? Do you want to meet her?"

"Someday, although perhaps when she's less inclined to say something we might all regret, hey? No, I was more wondering if you'd consider staying here again tonight? Especially if Abi's not at your place, I don't like to think of you alone at the minute. And if I'm honest, I'd really like to go to sleep in your arms," the Scot admitted self consciously.

"I'd like that too, very much. Will Moira be back tonight?"

"No, I'll let her know she can have a night off so we can have the place to ourselves." Lorna's gaze flickered between Sam's eyes, feeling the sexual tension rising between them despite the stress of their situation or perhaps, more accurately, in light of it.

"That sounds perfect," Sam husked, pressing a lingering kiss to her lover's lips before reluctantly withdrawing with a groan. "I've got to go or Jack will have my head on a platter. Call me if you want anything before I get back but I will definitely see you later. Want me to pick up some wine on my way in?"

"No, it's ok, I'm going to go shopping, stock up on a few things. Getting out of the house has done me good so I'm going to bite the bullet and choose to live my life. That way, when Katie comes home, she won't shout at me, or you, for letting myself go!" Lorna replied with a self-deprecating smile.

"Good for you, love." Sam turned towards the door, hand reaching up to open it before she had second thoughts and turned back. "I'm proud of you for the way you're handling this. I just… I wanted you to know that."

* * *

Jo rubbed her hands tiredly over her face as she approached the front door, having been woken from a nap by the doorbell. Throwing open the door, her face registered the shock she felt as she saw who was standing on the other side.

"Inspector Gold!" she exclaimed, startled but recovering almost instantly and beckoning the older woman inside.

"I thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing. The relief co-opted me into bringing some small tokens of their well wishes for you, since I was coming anyway," Gina brusquely announced, as usual brushing off any hint of a suggestion that she herself cared in more than a passing sense. She handed over a small gift bag along with a large bouquet of mixed flowers in varying shades of pink, white and yellow. "The colours are supposed to be soothing, personally I'd have gone for something a little more striking and vibrant but I'm afraid that's what you get when you send a man flower shopping!"

"They're beautiful, really. You shouldn't have got me anything but please let everyone know I appreciate their generosity and thoughtfulness," Jo murmured bashfully. "Can I get you a drink?"

"A cuppa'd be lovely, thanks," Gina accepted, sinking into an arm chair and allowing her host to wait on her, knowing from experience how annoying it could be when someone assumed you were incapable simply because you happened to be ill. "Tea, a dash of milk, two sugars, please."

Jo grinned and nodded her head briskly before striding into the kitchen to prepare the requested drink. She furtled about in the cupboard locating a fresh pack of suitable biscuits, hand hovering over a plate on which to put them before deciding it would only lead to an outrageous amount of teasing from Gina for being so 'posh'. She opted instead to toss the packet onto the tray she would carry the drinks in on and let the older woman help herself straight from the pack.

"So how's things at the nick?" Jo asked as she walked back in with her wares.

"Same as usual really. Reg is keeping everyone entertained with his tales of how things used to be back in the day. Callum is treading on just as many toes as always – I swear that boy has a degree in putting his foot in it. Honey is, well, Honey. And CID are busy proving that without you, they can't find their heads with both their hands, so all in all, nothing out of the ordinary," Gina declared, voice laced with her ordinary traces of laconic wit. "Enough about them, how are you?" she asked, turning serious in an instant.

"I'm… I'm actually doing alright… thanks. My treatment is going as well as can be expected, it looks like whatever cocktail their pumping into me is doing what it needs to so I start my next round of treatments in a couple of days. As you can see, I've had to go for a change in style but after an initial few wobbles, I'm learning to adapt to that as well. I've discovered that I really do have the best support network around me. Sam has been great and Lorna – Lorna Hart – too and my partner, Lucy has just been incredible. So much so, we're getting married," Jo admitted with wide-eyed astonishment, still struggling to believe she was going to be able to call Lucy her wife.

"Excellent, glad to hear you're not repeating my mistakes and thinking your tougher if you battle it out alone. There's no way it'll beat you, Jo, not when you keep focussed on everything you have to live for." Gina sat back in her chair, observing the detective and noting how content she appeared, despite her obvious frailty. "Sun Hill could use a good wedding, it's been too long since we had a justifiable excuse for getting legless. I'll certainly raise a brandy to you and your fiancée, she's a very lucky woman."

"I think I'm the lucky one. I doubt there are too many people who would willingly take on a spouse in the middle of a cancer battle, not with knowing what the possibilities are for the future," Jo claimed in return, hugging her steaming brew to her chest.

"The ones who don't stick around are the ones who never really loved their partners in the first place, believe me, I know all too well," Gina responded, remembering her own experience of being disappointed by Jonathon Fox during her own chemotherapy treatment. "Keep hold of Lucy and for God's sakes, don't do anything stupid like go back to work and accept another undercover assignment halfway across the country for six months!"

"Oh believe me, I've no intention of going anywhere without Lucy. What I share with her makes me realise how Tess and I were barely anything more than good friends for so many years of our relationship and how selfish it was of me not to end it with her long before I went to Nottingham," Jo confessed, having spent many an hour comparing the two relationships in her mind and finding the former lacking in a startling number of ways. It made her all the more thankful for having met Lucy and determined to maintain their connection by whatever means she could.

"Good. Now let's talk about something far more important…please tell me you watched the fight last night," Gina growled, swerving away from anything remotely slushy in favour of discussing her favourite sport: boxing.

"Ummm, I'm afraid not, I was a little busy, celebrating my engagement and avoiding the calamitous United game," Jo admitted with a playful shrug, not actually in the least bit sorry she hadn't witnessed two grown men beating one another to a bloody pulp.

"You football pansies wouldn't know a real sport if it jumped up and bit you on the backside!" Gina groused with a shake of her head. "I thought you of all people would have had an ounce of taste. You seem like such an intelligent woman," she teased mercilessly, surprised at how easily the banter flowed between them outside of their usual environment and without the usual ammunition to fire at one another.

"Oh really? Watching two grown men commit GBH on one another with acts that if performed on a street would see them visiting our cells is a superior sport to football? Where is the skill in battering a bloke's brains out? We see muppets doing that day in, day out on the job," Jo retorted, warming to her theme.

"The skill is in avoiding being the one who ends up with his brains splattered on the canvas. There's far more art to boxing than to watching 22 little boys run around a field chasing a pig's bladder filled with air who then writhe around in supposed agony as soon as someone blows on them. I've seen four year old girls who make less of a fuss about someone stepping on their toes than those footballers make when someone so much as crinkles an eyelash!" Gina fired back with a derisory grin.

"I suppose you'll be telling me you approve of hunting next too," Jo quipped, agreeing with the inspector's sentiment regarding many modern footballers but refusing to concede the point out of pride.

"Of course not – foxes don't get to choose whether to participate or not. If it was a human they were chasing – one of our frequent fliers or some of the kiddie-fiddlers say – then absolutely, I'd be all for it!" Gina replied, barking out a brief laugh as she imagined a skinny thief being chased across country fields by horse-riding gentry and their hounds.

"I think we'd have to change the rules then though, to give to the dogs more than a fighting chance of catching them. There'd have to be some kind of handicap those being hunted had to wear, like a blindfold or a weight around their ankle. Wouldn't want them getting away, after all," Jo rejoined, her mind turning towards the case she had been working on when she was diagnosed which in turn led her thoughts to Katie. "They will find her, won't they? Katie Hart, I mean."

If the officer was surprised by the turn of their conversation, she hid it well. "You know as well as I do that unfortunately, we can't guarantee that they will. Or that if they do, the outcome will be the one we're all hoping for. Not everyone who goes missing comes home or are found, unfortunately, but these are your colleagues who are looking for her, you know them, know how they work, how meticulous they are. If anyone can find her, they will, we have to hang on to that hope for her family's sake."

Jo nodded, her expression pensive. "I've been thinking about maybe coming back to work if I can – maybe just for a few hours a day, a couple of days a week, just to take some of the pressure off them. I know they're shorthanded, with Stuart missing and me out sick. Even if I just did some of the mundane paperwork that they don't want to be bogged down with…" Jo trailed off, not really sure who she was trying to convince it was a good idea since she still had reservations and doubts about her abilities.

"If you need to do some hours to keep your own conscience quiet, then I'm not going to persuade you otherwise. But I will advise you to consider how passionate you are about your job, how difficult it would be for you to walk away at the end of your hours if you were in the middle of something important, before you make any kinds of enquiries into returning to work. You don't want to become frustrated and jaded or push yourself too hard and risk setting your health back. As much as you love being a copper, it is just a job. You have a whole life beyond that which you need to consider too," Gina cautioned sagely.

"Indeed I do," Jo agreed quietly, expression pensive. "I keep bouncing between thinking that going back is the best thing to do and that it would be a total disaster. I don't know what to do."

"Give yourself time. No one is expecting you to rush back to work in between treatments, the pay doesn't drop too drastically until you've been off a few months so it's not like you have to come back yet and you're about to begin a new round of treatment which you can't know how it'll affect you until it starts. Play it by ear, see how you feel and if, at some point you know in your heart that you can come back and handle anything that's thrown at you – and I've no doubt that day will come – then talk to Jack about doing some hours. In the meantime, so you know how you'd fair being around people again, you could always bob in for a coffee in the canteen. If you feel like you need an excuse, you can say you're there to thank everyone for the flowers. I'm sure there are many who would be glad to see you., especially if you can knock Sergeant Stone down a peg or two for them while you're there," Gina stated with a surreptitious wink.

As Jo went to reply, they both heard a key in the front door followed by a loud slam as it was forcibly closed again. The brunette bolted to her feet, stepping towards the hallway before halting as a dishevelled and irate Lucy stormed into the lounge.

"That bastard…" she spat, silencing herself as she spied Jo's guest, mumbling a quick "sorry" and turning to leave.

"Don't go on my account, I've more than outstayed my welcome. Time for this old crow to be on her way. Good seeing you, Jo, and good to see you looking as well as you do given the circumstances." Gina rose from her seat and stepped towards the hallway.

"Thank you, Inspector Gold, and please do pass on my thanks to everyone on the relief. I'm really touched by their thoughtfulness." Jo kept a steady grip on Lucy's arm to prevent her from bolting even as she made to follow her superior out of the lounge.

"Just think on about what I said, don't try to be a superhero. And I think, this far away from the nick, it's safe enough for you to drop the formalities and call me Gina." Another wink, this time more blatant, accompanied the statement. Turning to the young woman who had joined them, Gina offered a sincere smile. "Since I'm assuming you're the young lady I've heard so much about, congratulations on persuading this one to marry you. She's a keeper, you won't find any better."

"I know, believe me, I do. I can't believe she agreed but I will certainly spend the rest of my days proving what a wise decision it was for her to make!" Lucy ventured, a little of her sour mood evaporating, a tiny smile tugging at her lips as she turned her gaze to her fiancée.

"I already know how wise a decision it was, sweetheart," Jo rejoined, sliding her arm around the shorter woman's waist.

They waved Gina off with final farewells and then Jo guided her lover back into the lounge, pulling her down onto the sofa and hugging her close to her own body. Lucy sighed heavily, nestling her head beneath Jo's chin and wrapping her arm across her lean stomach.

"Not that I object to seeing you earlier than expected but why are you already home from work and what has 'that bastard' done now?" Jo asked gently, her tone implying quotation marks around her repeated phrase of Lucy's from moments earlier.

"He cornered me again, in the copy room, started telling me how much of a tease I am, how I've been coming on to him for months and how I owe him for how I've led him on. He tried to grab me so I slapped him and kneed him in the groin...just as one of the senior managers from our parent company walked in. I've been suspended without pay pending a full enquiry," Lucy fumed, plucking idly at a loose thread escaping the seam of Jo's shirt.

"Well that's a good thing, isn't it? Obviously not the suspension without pay part," Jo hastened to add as she felt her partner stiffen in her arms, "but the investigation part has to be good, doesn't it? I mean, you already mentioned one guy who will back you and I'm sure there have to be others there who know what he's like."

"I'd think that too if the boss who walked in on us wasn't the bastard's brother-in-law. There's no way a full and fair enquiry will be done, it'll just be a sweep it under the carpet, pass it off as a bit of office banter that got out of hand on his part while I'll be sacked for gross misconduct and violent behaviour with no hope of getting a reference out of them." Lucy squirmed away from her fiancée, her agitation needing a physical outlet as she set about pacing the lounge. "I can't believe he's going to get away with it, smarmy, lying, manipulative bastard."

"He won't get away with it, babe," Lucy shot Jo a look as though she had grown a second head, obviously wondering if they were having the same conversation. "He won't get away with it because we are going to send a report to the most senior manager at the parent company, detailing every instance of sexual harassment you have had to endure along with the name and address of any witnesses you know will back you up. He can't be related to everyone in the company and if this other guy, his brother-in-law, can't be trusted to act objectively then we will take the matter out of his hands." Jo stood, capturing her fired up lover in her arms once more and wrapping her in a soothing embrace. "He'll soon regret the day he decided to go after you for loving me." Lucy sagged against Jo's body, her energy departing as swiftly as it had sparked to life.

* * *

"Sam, a word before you get started please?" Though Jack phrased it as a question, his swift disappearance back inside his office signalled that any response his DI offered was moot. She hauled herself up the last few stairs and followed him, pulling up short when she saw they were not alone.

"Phil!" she exclaimed, not daring to hope that this meant Stuart's replacement had finally been decided upon.

"Good to see you, Sam," her ex-lover and colleague replied from his seat in front of DCI Meadow's desk.

"DS Hunter will be joining us as temporary cover for Stuart until such a time as a permanent replacement is appointed or Stuart returns to the role. I'm sure you can appreciate it hasn't been smooth sailing arranging this nor is it the most popular decision with the brass but I'm confident that we can all prove how beneficial it is to have someone filling in who already knows the lie of the land around here. I'd like Phil to work with you, Sam. Do either of you see that being an issue? If you do, tell me now so I can reassign Grace or Terry but if you say nothing now and don't like it in a few days time, don't expect me to be sympathetic and make changes then." DCI Meadows fixed both officers with a steely glare, daring them to defy him and lie about their level of comfort regarding working together again.

"Sam and I will get along just fine, Guv. We both want what's best for the team, isn't that right, DI Nixon?" Phil smirked as he turned his gaze on the diminutive blonde.

"Absolutely, you have no reason to worry about us, Guv. Phillip will do as he's told, I'll make sure of that," Sam replied evenly, not daring to appear too keen lest the senior officer think she couldn't be objective.

"Good. See to it that I don't live to regret this," Jack cautioned before shooing them out of his office.

Phil trailed after Sam into the CID hub, following her into her own office and closing the door over behind him. "It really is good to see you again, Sam. It's been too long since we hooked up for drinks."

"With Jo and the cancer plus this place, I've just been really busy, Phil. You know how it is, you never really leave this place. Wherever you go, it follows you in some way," Sam explained, wandering behind her desk and slumping into her chair.

"I get that but what say we make the most of being back in the same part of London again and go out tonight after shift. A few drinks, I'll even throw in a curry if it tempts you. You can fill me in on all that's been going on since we last went out." Phil perched on the edge of Sam's desk opposite where she sat, twisting his upper torso so that he could still face her.

"I don't think that's appropriate. While you're here, you're under my command and the same rules apply as they would if you were here permanently – supervisors are not to date their subordinates," Sam dismissed the offer hiding behind protocol in an attempt to hide the fact that she was, in fact, not currently in a position to see Phil or any other man on any basis.

"It ain't me who's the submissive one when we're together, Sam!" he quipped with a saucy wink in Sam's direction as she blushed a deep crimson. "It wouldn't have to be a 'date' date, it could just be two old friends catching up on each other's news," Phil wangled, trying to coax her from a different angle.

"We both know where it would end up if I agree to go out with you…" Sam began, only to be interrupted.

"I can't help it if you find me irresistible." The statement was followed by a leer of lecherous proportions.

"Phillip, I'm not interested in being with you. Whatever we might have shared in the past, it's not there now. I'm not in the market for any kind of fling, relationship or casual arrangement so please do us both a favour and respect my right to say no to you. We're friends, I don't want to lose that and I don't want us working together being awkward like it got to be before. We've both told Jack we can handle this like professional adults so please, let's do that." As she finished her speech, Sam was alerted to a text message arriving. Picking up the tiny device from where she had tossed it onto her desk, she read the short but sweet message from Lorna, informing her that she was about to do the shopping and reiterating that she was looking forward to spending time with her that night. Sam was unable to prevent the soft smile which stretched her lips and lit up her face.

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tell me you were already involved with someone, Sam?" Phil murmured quietly, cursing the timing of their paths crossing again, acknowledging that he was too late to rekindle any flame with the beautiful blonde DI.

Sam's head shot up, her expression frozen in shock at being so easy to read. "Uh…I…erm…" Bowing her head, she sighed, "you're right. I should have just been honest with you and told you I'm not available."

"Can I ask who it is?" Phil asked pensively.

"I'd rather you didn't. It's still very new and we're not ready for it to be common knowledge just yet," Sam replied, feeling unusually protective of Lorna and their budding relationship.

Phil nodded, rising from the desk and straightening himself to his full height, visibly switching from 'Phil' to 'DS Hunter' before Sam's eyes. "Ok, where do you want me to start then? Am I hijacking Stuart's desk to work from?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll brief you on the cases we currently have open then we can see where Kezia and Angie are up to with them," Sam confirmed, motioning for him to take a seat before she launched into her rundown of their caseload.


	47. Chapter 47

**_Happy Hump Day! We're on the downward slope to weekend again already after today which in my book can only be a good thing! Thank you, as always to those reading and especially to the lovely people who regularly review this story: A for Antechinus, Sez01 and iheartsergeantsmith. Your words feed my muse so in return I send cyber-cookie mountains :)_**

**_Disclaimer: Yeah, nothing changed since last chapter. I still don't own any part of The Bill or its characters, nor do I claim to. I'm just giving them a little much needed exercise since their owners packed them away into storage crates._**

* * *

"She's all yours Mr Turner, ready and waiting to be broken in but by all means, feel free not to do so gently," the bulky, sturdy-framed man advised a confused Stuart.

"When you said about getting my hands dirty, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind," he stalled, having no desire to do as he was instructed.

"If you're disappointed she's not a little boy, I suggest you turn her over and do it from behind. Or do we have a bigger problem here, Mr Turner? Do we need to question your loyalty and commitment to the cause?" Stuart's eyes widened as he understood what was being asked of him.

"No… no, it's just, I've never… on film… or with one so… young," he stammered.

"Then you're in for a real treat." Turning away from the reluctant younger man, Stuart's companion barked orders at his lackeys who were hovering nearby. "Suit him up, make sure he's not going to be recognised. This film needs to be ready to air by midnight."

* * *

"DNA is back on our two bodies," Kezia informed Sam and Phil as soon as they emerged from the DI's office. Her expression was grim, leading Sam to fear the worst.

"Do we have identification of them then now?" the DI asked sombrely.

"We do. It's as you first suspected; Zofia and Izabella Podowska. Which technically makes this part of the same case DI Manson is investigating, doesn't it?" Kezia asked nervously, not sure what their next move needed to be.

"Not necessarily. We have no proof that Katie Hart's disappearance is linked to the Podowski boy's abduction but we do know that his mother and sister have been brutally murdered and that once again Dawid is nowhere to be found. Let me take this to DCI Meadows and see what he says. I have a feeling he might like to liaise with the people who were supposed to be keeping this family safe," Sam advised, not wanting to glibly distract Neil and the team from their search for Katie unless it was absolutely necessary.

"And by liaise, what DI Nixon really means is tear them a new one!" Phil quipped. Angie fixed him with a disdainful glare making no attempt to hide her feelings about his distasteful humour.

"What do you want us to do in the meantime, Guv?" Angie asked, blatantly ignoring the interloper even as Kezia smirked along with him.

"Go back to the estate where they were found – take uniform for back up – canvas the neighbours and see if they remember seeing a little boy in the area on the day Izzy and Zofia were killed. Our priority, beyond finding their murderer, is making sure no further harm comes to that child. He's already seen too much suffering, too many deaths in his short life." Turning to her tactless temporary sergeant, she ordered, "Kezia, do we have the pathologist's report on cause of death yet?" Sam frowned as she received a shake of the head, frustrated but knowing that nothing would speed up the process. "I'd like you to concentrate on the Marks' robbery then for now. Go over phone records, chase Eddie for fingerprints, anything that can narrow down suspects. Phil, I want you to go with Angie and if I hear that you so much as think about making another tasteless remark like that, the only one getting a new one torn will be you. Are we clear?"

"Crystal, Guv," Phil replied, quirking an eyebrow in Kezia's direction as Sam turned her back and headed for the DCI's office.

* * *

Lorna strolled around the supermarket, picking out various items from the list she had scrawled whilst going through her cupboards at home. Certain other products found their way into her trolley as she moved on autopilot, products which her daughter insisted she buy whenever Lorna stocked up on groceries. It was only when she was reaching for Katie's favourite pizza in the frozen aisle that she consciously became aware of what she was doing. Her heart clenched in her chest and she felt tears prick at her eyes. Her hand jerked back as though it had been scalded but then with a steely determination of a true-born Scot, she grasped the pizza and tossed it onto the top of the rest of her shopping. Katie was coming home, she affirmed in her mind, and when she did, she would want her favourite food for dinner. Lorna swiped any offending lingering moisture from her eyes and continued on her meandering exploration of the supermarket, pointedly ignoring the impolite stares from those who had seen her violent reaction to the pizza.

* * *

Stuart groaned as he tried to straighten up, his stomach still roiling. He couldn't believe he'd let himself get into this position. No matter what he did, he was screwed. If he went through with what they were asking of him, he lowered himself to their level and there was no going back. If he refused, he had no doubt that they would dispose of him for what they viewed as a betrayal – trust was not a commodity in ready supply.

"Never pegged you as someone who'd get performance anxiety," one of the lackey's smirked, clapping Stuart on the back. "Always happens to the cocky ones first time on film but don't worry, we'll make sure no one knows it's you. Suck it up, boss man's getting antsy down there and I'm sure you know he's not one to be kept waiting."

Stuart reluctantly followed the hulking figure sent to fetch him, furtively glancing around as though help would appear out of thin air. Resigned to his fate, he trudged into the sound-proofed cellar like a condemned man approaching the gallows. His hands trembled and his heart raced as the black leather hood was fitted over his head and fastened tightly. Small holes were cut into the unforgiving fabric for his eyes with three slits lining up with his mouth and nose to enable him to breathe and see sufficiently to navigate the room where his unsuspecting victim sat playing with toys in a mocked up bedroom. There were camera hidden at various angles within the room, enabling a full 360 degree view. Once he was inside, there would be no hiding his actions, no mimicking the acts he was expected to perform on a little girl who looked to be no older than seven or eight years of age. He had to make his choice, he had to decide if his life was worth ruining the innocence of another and time was running out for him to make that decision.

* * *

"I swear to God, he is the most ignorant, chauvinistic, irritating imbecile I have ever had to work with!" Angie fumed as she marched into DI Nixon's office, not bothering to request entry beforehand.

"DC Walker?" Sam queried, startled by the sudden entrance and the vehemence in the dark-skinned woman's statement.

"DS Hunter, Guv. He's a…"

Sam cut her off before she could say something she might live to regret, "…a senior officer and anything you say to me has to go on record so I suggest you pick your words carefully."

"He has spent all afternoon openly and actively trying to get me to agree to go on a date with him, even though I told him I was married and committed to my husband. I'm sorry Guv, I appreciate that I'm new here and that you're all used to working with him, but if he insists on continuing, I'll have no choice but to report him. I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour just because I'm a woman." The DI groaned and dropped her head to the desk in exasperation. She had hoped that Phil would have grown up during his time away from Sun Hill but it appeared that he had instead regressed to an earlier, less pleasant version of himself.

"Leave him to me, Angie. I'm sorry you've had such a bad first impression of him, honestly he isn't always like that. His humour can be crude and tactless and he has always had an eye for the ladies but he is a good copper. We're lucky to have him filling in for Stuart and once I've laid the law down to him, hopefully you'll have chance to see that side of him too. If not, I'm not above saddling him with the grunt work and keeping him out of your hair until he learns to behave himself. Phillip is a bit like a puppy – when he first meets someone new, he's over-exuberant and attention seeking." Sam waited for the DC to visibly calm herself before enquiring if they had found any pertinent information from the neighbours on the estate, mentally already strangling Hunter for his less than graceful arrival at Sun Hill. Less than a day in and already, the ranks were threatening mutiny. That had to be a record, even for him.

* * *

Phil knocked on the office door, waiting to be invited in before entering. "You summoned me, Guv?"

"Take a seat," Sam instructed, her tone brusque belying their usual friendship.

"I take it DC Walker has been to see you," Phil guessed, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Seriously, Sam, you know me. I might like to flirt a bit and have a bit of banter with the ladies but only once I know how the land lies. I'm not an idiot."

"And yet you seem to know why she came to see me," Sam posed, levelling an icy glare at the wayward sergeant.

"Of course I do, she told me precisely what she was planning on saying to you to discredit me. Don't ask me why but she has her knickers in a twist about me being here, started in as soon as we were in the car on the way to the estate. Pitching into me about how she had heard of me, my reputation, that I used to be your right hand man but that things were different now. She said she'd do whatever she needed to do, say whatever she needed to say to keep me on the fringe of investigations. You ask me, she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic that one! Where'd she crawl out of anyway?"

Sam's fears were pricked once again, the nature of the investigation which had triggered the need for additional cover forcing her to view everyone with suspicion. "Never mind that, that's not important. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't repeatedly try to chat her up, not even in a joking manner."

"Sam, I swear to God, I wouldn't, not with her… she wasn't my type even before she opened her mouth! I mean, really, that hair? It's just not right." Sam's stony expression forestalled any further jesting. "I never said one word to her that could be classed as inappropriate, I barely spoke to her at all beyond giving her directions to the estate. I couldn't get a word in, she was doing all the talking. Ask Beth and Leon, they were with us the whole time."

Sam took a few moments to take in Phil's earnest face, noting the way he held her stare without wavering. With a small frown and a sigh, she sat back in her chair and dismissed him, more confused than ever. She wondered if there was any way she could speak to Angie's previous colleagues, off the record, to find out more about the woman, beginning to wonder if they had been too trusting with their temporary DC.

* * *

Sam walked up to the now familiar front door, her limbs dragging wearily in her fatigued state. She wanted to be energetic and at least semi-conscious whilst spending time with Lorna but her body appeared to be staging a mutiny against any such plans. Her eyelids felt like there were lead weights attached to them and she was concerned to realise how little of the journey home she could recall, knowing that she had driven on autopilot for the majority of it. As she raised her hand to knock, the door swung open to reveal her lover, who had apparently seen her arrive and was waiting for her, literally with open arms. Never more grateful for such a welcoming sight, Sam fell into the embrace, allowing Lorna to hold her upright and manoeuvre them through into the lounge where a roaring fire burned.

"You're out on your feet. Let's just sit here for a while with the fire and you can rest your eyes," the Scot encouraged, easing Sam down into the welcoming cushions of the sofa, sinking in next to her and pulling the shorter woman's head onto her shoulder, wrapping her up once again in her arms and dropping a tender kiss on her crown before laying a cheek against the top of her head.

"I wanted so much tonight to be able to do as we suggested earlier," Sam grumbled, fighting the almost crushing need for sleep.

"Don't worry about that now, love. You just listen to what your body's telling you and get some rest. There's plenty of time for us to explore the physical side of this when we're both fully awake, alert and able to enjoy it. For now, this is perfect: I get to hold you and know that you're safe here, with me," Lorna reassured, her voice softening to a whisper as she felt Sam's weight settling against her more heavily. She hummed quietly, a meandering tune, allowing it to lull the blonde ever closer to the edge of the abyss, soothing a hand through soft strands of hair and letting her own eyes drift shut as they basked together in the glow of the warm fire. Just as she too was about to slip into a deep sleep, Lorna was aware of an arm wrapping itself across her abdomen, hugging her tightly. She lost the battle for consciousness with a slight smile tugging at her lips and a gently murmured, "I love you, Sam."

* * *

"Are you sure that covers everything? Every time he's brushed against you suggestively, every chance he's taken to insert sexual innuendos into your conversations, every instance he has made you feel uncomfortable with his behaviour or language?" Jo asked, scanning the typed page filled with examples of Lucy's boss, Derek's, harassment.

"I think so and if not everything, it certainly should be enough to build a case against him that is difficult to ignore. I'll speak to James in the morning and ask him to write a witness testimony to go with it as well." Lucy gently extracted the printed page from her lover's hands, placing it into an envelope in readiness to send to the Managing Director of her firm's parent company. She didn't seal it, intending to include a covering letter, explaining the circumstances around her current suspension as a way of introducing the remainder of the packages contents. She could only hope that Jo was right in her assertion that a higher manager would be inclined to deal with the allegations seriously and not simply pass them back to a lower level to handle.

"It'll be ok, sweetheart. Even if you don't return to work there, if you end up finding a new job somewhere, it might yet turn out to be a good move. Maybe you can get something somewhere you're actually appreciated for all the hours you put in, the extra effort you make to go above and beyond what's expected of you," Jo murmured softly, soothing a hand down the centre of her lover's back, knowing that she must be hurting and wanting to be as supportive as possible.

"I know and you're right. The world won't stop turning if I can't go back there but why should I be pushed out because of who I am? Because of who I _love_? Why should I be treated any differently than a straight woman or a heterosexual man simply because I won't hide the fact I'm in a relationship with a woman? I thought this was the 21st century and we were passed all this bigoted crap," Lucy ranted hotly, shoulders slumping in defeat at the acknowledgement of how much prejudice still existed despite the apparently more liberal attitudes.

"It is and this is just one person who can't hack the fact that you would rather cuddle up to me at night than him. Don't let him skew your perception of society as a whole and don't condemn the company you work for before they've had a chance to prove which side of the fence they're on." Jo winced slightly as she stretched her arm out, experiencing a tightness which caused her some discomfort, as though the skin was too tight. It didn't go unnoticed by her eagle-eyed partner.

"Listen to me whining about a stupid job to you of all people. What's the matter, babe? Are you in pain?" Lucy twisted in her seat until she was almost completely facing Jo, legs pressed tightly against the edge of the sofa, one arm propped along the back cushions as the other rested on her lover's knee.

"It's nothing major. They warned me I might get some swelling in my arm because of the lymph nodes they had to remove during the surgery. I'll speak to the doctor about it when I'm there later in the week." Jo passed it off, hoping the subject could be dropped.

"No you won't. We'll make an appointment to see the GP in the morning. If you don't want me there with you, that's fine, I know you don't need anyone holding your hand but I will insist on you going before you start your next rounds of chemo." Lucy fixed Jo with a steely, determined glare, daring her to deny that she would have kept putting off dealing with the fluid build up causing the discomfort in her arm. "Don't make me research it online and start spouting facts at you to get you to cooperate," she warned. Jo couldn't help but grin, knowing her zealous partner would do just that if needs be to ensure she took care of herself.

"Ok, I promise, I'll phone the surgery in the morning and try to get an appointment, or at least on the triage list. And I might not _need_ someone holding my hand, but I would very much like it if you were there with me." Jo wrapped her good arm around the younger woman, gathering her in close and dropping a sweet kiss against her temple, nudging dark, unruly curls out of the way with her nose. "You're too good to me," she murmured reverently.

"There's no such thing as too good for you, honey. You're going to be my wife, nothing will ever be too much for as long as you'll have me around." Lucy nuzzled the soft skin of Jo's neck, teasing the older woman with feather-light kisses. Jo groaned. As much as she wanted to worship Lucy's luscious body, she knew physically she didn't have it in her. Her energy reserves were vastly depleted and the ache in her arm would prevent her from bearing weight on it or utilising it in a vigorous manner.

"Lucy…" she moaned, regretfully. With a heavy sigh and a pained expression, Jo pulled herself out of the embrace which threatened to morph from comforting to uncomfortably arousing. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I can't… I don't… I want to but I just don't think I can, not tonight."

"Is it because of him?" Lucy asked, lower lip trembling as the rejection hit her hard.

"What? No! God no, not at all. Honey, you are gorgeous and I really, _really_ wish that I could whisk you off upstairs to bed and make love to you all night long… but I'm exhausted and this arm… I wouldn't be any good for you tonight, love and I'd rather we didn't get into anything than start something that I know I can't finish." Jo willed Lucy to hear the truth in what she said and not to retreat into a world of hurt and perceived rejection.

Further discussion was interrupted as the house phone began to ring. Jo glanced at the clock, noticing the lateness of the hour and knowing that whoever was on the other end would not be calling with good news. Phone conversations that took place after 11pm were never about anything positive in her experience. Her heart clenched as she thought of Sam's predicament and she snatched the receiver from the cradle, mentally offering up a prayer to anyone listening that she wasn't about to hear her friend had come to any harm.

"Is that Jo?" a man's voice enquired.

"It is," Jo responded, tone clipped and tight in her nervousness.

"Jo, it's Saira's husband, Tony. I'm sorry to call you so late but she made me promise to let you know when she… Saira died earlier this evening. I know she really appreciated you going to see her in the hospice…" His voice trailed off, choked with the emotion of losing his wife.

"I'm so sorry," Jo gasped, feeling tears prick at her own eyes. "Your wife was an incredible and inspirational woman. I may only have known her for a few short weeks but she taught me so much about life, about myself, about grabbing the opportunities that come our way and not letting them pass us by. I know it sounds glib but really, if there's anything I can to help, any arrangements I can make to take some of the pressure off you, please just let me know." Lucy, having grasped the gist of the conversation, crossed to her lover's side from where she had retreated, wrapping an arm around Jo's waist and offering her silent support.

"Saira made a lot of the arrangements herself, she said it was one of the perks of knowing she was dying – she could make sure she got her own way even at her funeral." Tony's brief laughter was forced, an attempt at stoicism. He felt foolish for being so devastated, having known it was inevitable but still not having made his peace with losing the woman he loved.

"Would you…umm… Would you mind if I attended the service?" Jo asked, leaning against her fiancée more heavily as she absorbed the information.

"Of course not. Saira would like that, she was always good at making friends wherever she went. I'll let you know the details when I've finalised arrangements." Tony hurriedly ended the call, obviously needing to grieve and not wanting to breakdown on the phone to a woman he didn't know. Jo's whole body sagged as she put the receiver back in its cradle. She sank into the nearest chair, head dropping into her hands as her brain struggled to deal with all the emotional ramifications of Saira's death. Lucy silently perched on the chair arm, offering a gentle, soothing massage of her distraught lover's shoulders. The young brunette too was battling to contain her own emotions, fearful of adding extra pressure to Jo's burden but the news had lit a fire under her own fears for Jo's future and what that mean for them both.

"I should do that too," Jo croaked at length, her words muffled by the hands still over her face.

"What's that honey? What do you need to do?" Lucy asked softly, unable to entirely mask the fragile emotions in her voice.

"I should start to look into making arrangements…just in case I don't beat this. I don't want you to have to deal with everything once I'm gone, not from scratch. I'll make some enquiries, get something pre-planned," Jo explained, casting a brief sideways glance at her partner before rising from her seat and climbing the stairs. Lucy let her go, waiting until she heard the bathroom door click shut before she gave in to her overwhelming need to cry. She wanted to scream and shout about the injustices they faced, wondering what either of them had done in a former life to experience such cruel and unusual torture in this one. She slid into the chair Jo had recently vacated, curling herself into a ball and sobbing her heart out as events and circumstances took their toll on her.

Upstairs, in the bathroom, Jo sat on the loo, gazing into the middle distance, mind racing. She had brief flashes of thoughts to end it now, to simply spare Lucy any further pain and suffering but fortunately the more rational part of her brain tamped down on such ideas, knowing it would only cause additional anguish to those who cared for her. Instead, she focused on what Saira had said to her, about not wasting a single day waiting for the perfect opportunity to come along. She would lay out plans for what type of service she would prefer but it would be as a failsafe only, in case the worst should happen. Once that was done, she decided she would draw up another list, a list of all the things she wanted to do and see before she died as a way to keep the fight alive in her, no matter how dark the days became or how low her mood sunk. And top of that list would be marrying Lucy in a service fitting for the wonderful partner that she had proven herself to be. It suddenly seemed of utmost importance to Jo that they discuss the wedding in greater detail. She bolted upright, unlocking the door and dashing back down the stairs, skidding into the lounge and dropping to her knees in front of her distraught fiancée. Lucy's head snapped up at the sudden intrusion, her face a mask of tears and panic as she feared another blow.

"What is it?" she cried, trying to simultaneously unfurl herself and reach for the older woman.

Jo crowded in, keeping Lucy pinned in the seat in her almost foetal position and wrapping her arms around the bundled form. "I love you. I love you and I don't intend on dying or going anywhere, no matter what this wretched disease thinks. I want to give you the wedding you dream of, the wedding you deserve and I'd like to give it to you as soon as we can arrange it, not because I don't think I'll be healthy enough to do it further down the line but because I can think of nothing I want more than to show the world what you mean to me. 'Til death us do part will have to wait a very long time if I have my way. I can't lose you, that would kill me far quicker than any cancer could. So how about we get a good night's sleep and tomorrow, we sit down, together, and talk about planning a wedding? You think that would be a fair use of this impromptu time off you've been given?" The brunette cupped her young fiancée's face, stroking gentle thumbs across tear-streaked cheeks. Leaning in, she ignored her own discomfort and pressed a tender, almost chaste kiss against Lucy's lips. "I love you so much and I will be honoured to stand up in front of our family and friends to celebrate that love with you."

"Oh Jo," Lucy gasped, overcome with the whirlwind of emotions as she was swept from the depths of despair to the heights of elation in a matter of mere seconds. "I can't think of a better way to spend this time off than planning our wedding." Tears rimmed both women's eyes as they gazed at one another adoringly.

"I want to make a list of all the things I want to do and see before I die, whether it be next week, next month, next year or in forty years time. I figure it'll give me even more incentive to fight to live...although I have to say waking up next to you each morning is really the only incentive I'll ever need. I'll never have enough of you and if I ever look like I'm taking you for granted, you have my permission to smack me round the head with the nearest heavy object. The first thing I intend on ticking off my bucket list is marrying you. The second will be taking you on honeymoon, wherever you want to go, somewhere we can be together, just the two of us without any interruptions from work or anything else." Jo smiled serenely at Lucy as she imagined such a setting, of being able to devote all her time and attention to her soon-to-be-wife.

"That sounds perfect…even if the honeymoon has to wait until your fit enough to travel, I won't care. I'll wait for as long as it takes because I know when we do go, it will be the first of many amazing, memorable and special holidays we'll take together. For right now though, the only trip I really want to make with you is up the stairs to our bed so I can hold you close all night and dream of our future, a long and blissfully happy future together."


End file.
